|Posted by Kristen Geil on May 31, 2011 at 7:40 PM|
Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. While you were drinking beer and setting off fireworks at your cookouts, Ally Tucker and I were hustling down Bluegrass Parkway, leaving Nonesuch in the rearview mirror to get to Chinoe Pub in time to get Our Table. Don't worry, we succeeded.
I admit, we were a little anxious going into this week's karaoke extravaganza. The long weekend meant our numbers were scarce. But Tucker, Sarah Z, our friend Becky and I took our table with confidence and plotted our the night's moves.
I am terrified that this came up in my search results.
Anyway, the night quickly got interesting with another karaoke regular and blog fan stumbled in... literally. As she approached our table and took her seat, she took a cue from Usher and revealed, "Guys, I have a confession to make... I'm DRRRRRUUUUNNKKKSSKSZHHGHCCH." Or at least, that's what it sounded like. Ambitious as always, she grabbed about 45 bar napkins and eagerly started writing down her song choices for the night. Among the options- Celine Dion and Elton John's "BBBenny and the Jets."
Let me take a moment to describe who else was in the bar. Kenny, as usual, in his booth looking dapper. Our karaoke rivals, who we came to find out included a girl from Springfield. Another old man dressed for the occasion (you'll see how in a minute). A blond woman sporting a red and black bustier under a see through black top and super tight jeans that created the ever-unpleasant muffin top effect, and a person I thought was her son all night but was recently informed was a female, wearing jorts and a baseball cap. Oh, and an Indian family wearing saris. I think the "melting pot" metaphor is appropriate here.
First up of the night were the trashy mom and gender-ambiguous child. I'll call them Rihanna and Jay-Z, because the first song they chose was "Umbrella." It started off on the wrong foot when Jay Z didn't know the words or pace of the rap introduction. Very painful. Rihanna, surprisingly, could carry a tune in her black stilettos, and somewhat saved the song. Jay Z was quite aloof when Rihanna was performing, even texting on stage at one point. Rude, especially considering that Rihanna announced to the bar that she had paid for Jay Z's college education and books.
After Sarah's solid and appropriate version of Dixie Chicks "Travelin Soldier," it was good old Kenny's turn. Now, Kenny must have been feeling a little crazy tonight- maybe celebrating the long weekend?- but he sang a song other than Unchained Melody and Fools Rush In. Let me repeat that- HE CHANGED IT UP! The bold man sang "Let Me Be There," another crooning country song, and was thrilled to find out he had a duet partner in our little intoxicated friend. She faithfully echoed his every line with great emotion and acted out the lyrics. After the song was over, we cheered and the DJ started to collect Kenny's mike. Suddenly, Kenny squawks in a high-pitched tone of voice. I can't remember what he said, but it was clear that he was mimicking our table and getting a little sassy. I think that means he likes us.
At long last, it was Drunky's turn to sing her chosen song. And who does she call up there to assist her but Ally Tucker. What was the song, you ask? None other than B-B-Benny and the Jets, by Elton John. A song liked by most everyone... until this. I am not exaggerating when I say that may have been the worst 4.5 minutes of my life. That song is a Karaoke Bomb. I'm sorry, guys. No matter how enthusiastically you screeched "BENNY! BENNY" the song was as un-saveable as the Titanic. It sunk, and possibly killed our credibility once and for all.
When the two brave souls took their seats, the DJ called Ally Tucker right back up, and me with her. Although we were a little shook, we went. We performed "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias, and although it's hard to say, I think it was a decent number. The range was pretty low, not a lot of "ooohs" and "aaahs" to suffer through, and the subject matter of the song is something we can all relate to.
Demitri showed up around this time, and Becky immediately decided to become his best friend. He engaged us in the usual chatter and right away called out our friend for being "f----- up already." Later, he expressed serious concern that she was an alcoholic, and repeatedly informed us that alcoholism is an actual disease and not just a bad habit. He told us he was in two bands, which I can semi-believe. Then he abruptly asked me where my little black boyfriend was.. yes, I was confused too. When I looked quizzical, he specified, "You know, the one from Cincinnati?" and we suddenly understood. He thought I was my friend Annie D and her boyfriend Jabel (who, by the way, is not black- but Indian).
Sure, I see where he could get us mixed up.
Demitri has apparently come to know our group quite well, because he asks where our little toy is. Again, we are baffled, but he quickly clarifies, "You know, the little short one? Y'all should start calling her Toy, cuz she's always playin'. Like when she was playin' with Kenny's walker. That girl nuts." Amy, maybe you should be a little worried that Demitri- DEMITRI- thinks you're nuts.
(But I still love your pony t-shirt)
Other unremarkable things happened- a bro singing Dave Matthews Band, a really cute guy with a good voice making us swoon with "Georgia on my Mind," Rihanna and a girl friend singing some song that obviously made no impression, a mischievous friend changing the background on Tucker's phone to an orange and yellow skull, etc- but the surprise hit of the night came from Sarah and first time karaoker Becky Goncharoff. The two surprised us all with a heartfelt rendition of Britney Spears' "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman." Since I just graduated college this weekend, I could really relate to the song. Plus, it is a perfect karaoke tune with some fun high notes to hit, and I think Becky even harmonized some. Well done, ladies.
The indisputable highlight of the night, however, came with the old man sitting alone at the bar. He hobbled up to the stage- Dan, or Don, was his name- and serenaded us with "It Was A Very Good Year." He was precious, but that didn't distract from the fact that he knew nothing of the pace of the song. Still, he was dressed for Memorial Day success, and he earned our undying love.
Try and tell me you don't love him already.
Tucker and Sarah closed it out for our group for the night with "God Bless the USA." I proudly stood up every time the lyrics told me to. The lyrics screen had a fun little surprise for us, too- anytime they mentioned USA, it looked like USA. AWESOME.
We tried to leave right after that, but couldn't leave before Kenny's final song, "Lady in Red." He was definitely feeling sassy last night. Happy Memorial Day!