In case you hadn't heard the news, Transylvania University's Men's Basketball Team is taking on the University of Kentucky tonight at 7 p.m. in an Exhibition Game. I assume that the game was decided to be an exhibition game because UK was afraid that taking an early loss to Transy in a real game might hurt their RPI later in the season. I also assume that the game is being played in Rupp Arena because UK was clearly afraid of the "home-court advantage" that Transy would have in the Beck Center.
(If you actually were in this crowd at this game like I was, you actually might believe Transy would have a great home-court advantage. Greatest game ever to take place in the Beck Center...and not a single open seat in the house)
Most people are betting on Kentucky, with it's #1 recruiting class and pre-season #2 ranking, to win by anywhere from 312 to 604 points. If I had to bet my life on it, I'd probably say Kentucky will win by about 466. BUT WITH THAT SAID, WE ALL KNOW THAT IN SPORTS ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. We've all seen movies like Miracle, Rudy and Airbud! If a dog can dunk a basketball, than I've got to assume that there is a CHANCE, no matter how small, that Transy (a small division 3 school with a smaller student body than Kentucky's football team) could pull off the upset.
"So you're sayin' there's a chance?" Oh yes, that is exactly what I am saying.
8 Ways That Transy Could Beat Kentucky Tonight
1. "Chicken Little Flea-Flicker"
Remember BECKY "THE ICEBOX"?
How about the "trick play" that the Little Giants used to win the championship game? If not, it went a little something like this...
"Chicken Little Fleet-Flicker on 2..."
'Pitch to Johnny."
"Pitch to Johnny??!! You can't pitch to Johnny! I'M JOHNNY!!!"
You get the point. And if the Chicken Little Fleet-Flicker on 2 doesn't work....you can always go for "The Annexation of Puerto Rico."
2. M.a.r.c. B.a.i.n.
There are 2 legends in Transy's basketball history:
Don Lane (pictured above) and Marc Bain (pictured below)
Marc Bain provided one of the greatest "live" sports memories I have had in my entire life . I was present in the Beck Center in March of 2006 when Marc Bain put on what I can honestly say was one of the best individual sports performances I have ever seen. Marc single-handidly put his Transy team on his back and hit (from my memory) at least eight or nine 3-pointers, though it felt like 20. At one point, he was seemingly unconscious. He threw up a 3-pointer from just over the half-court line after making about 4 in a row. Somehow, it went in. I kid you not--just past the half-court line. The crowd (the 1st picture on this blog entry, actually from that game) was electrified and went absolutely nuts. Bain couldn't miss. I remember people calling him "Marcus Bain the 3-point main" after that. If we just put Marc Bain out on the court tonight against UK, and let him launch 3-pointers, maybe he can create some of that magic that he created almost 6 years ago in the Beck Center.
3) Kentucky's entire team could get struck by lightning
Remember when the North Korean women's national soccer team claimed that one of the reasons they lost to the US was that most of their team had been struck by lightning? Hey, it could happen.
4) Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian loves her athletes. AND, she's newly single! If we could just get K-Dash to quickly date and dump (no one doubts she can accomplish this) all of the Kentucky men's basketball team, then judging by how her former boyfriends have performed Post-Dash on the field/court, Transy will easily win. Even if Transy doesn't win, they will probably be the subject of a 2-hour "E! Special."
5) Kentucky could get "Oregon-Trailed"
6) Implement an "ACT" scoring method
Instead of Transy scoring 2-point and 3-point baskets, they could be awarded whatever their ACT score was each time they score.
"32-point basket by Smith"
"36-point left-handed lay-up for Phillips."
TRANSY FOR THE WIN!
7) " SABOTAGE" a.k.a. Let Jen Hamblin Spend 5 Minutes with the Kentucky Basketball Team
Jen Hamblin is a good friend of mine and I love her as much as the next person, but anyone who went to Transy knows that when Jen Hamblin is around....anything can happen. Bad luck/trouble just seems to follow this precious little angel of a child. She's the wild card of all wild cards and I have never been around Jen Hamblin when something crazy hasn't happened. I have a feeling she would somehow manage to sabotage the Kentucky Basketball Team.
8 ) Let Joker Phillips Coach UK (yes, the basketball team)
"Hey Terrence Jones, instead of cramming a dunk down their throats from an inch away from the basket, let's give the ball to Jarrod Polson and let him take a shot from the opposite end of the court. That'll work. Also, can we kick field goals in here?"