|Posted by Kristen Geil on October 27, 2011 at 4:25 PM|
Lately, when people hear that I am pursuing a Master's degree in Writing, Rhetoric, and Discourse, I get the same question over and over again:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Well, a Pussycat Doll, obviously.
But seriously, I have a list of potential careers that if I ever got, I would consider myself to be "living the dream." In an effort to distract myself from schoolwork and the fact that I don't really know how doing this schoolwork will help me find a career, here is a list of the top jobs I hope to have in my lifetime:
Usher at Rupp Arena
No, not the Usher we love and praise so regularly on the blog...
But we still <3 you!!!
No, I'm talking about the real deal. The ushers for UK basketball games at Rupp Arena. You know them- maybe one of them is even your grandparent. They heroically stand in the aisles and point you towards your seat.
Or, as a friend from work so eloquently put it, "The elderly, blue-blazored Gestapo of Rupp Arena are the most dedicated employees in the nation. Keep guarding that empty section boys. Like your 65 year old lives depended on it." I liked it immediately.
Try as hard as I might, I could NOT find a picture of these people anywhere online. So here, a picture of Big Sean in a blue blazer:
Also, for those of you who are interested in this as a future career, I found this job information on Rupp Arena's website:
EVENT USHERS - (50 Part-Time Positions Available)
Job involves ticket taking, seating patrons, pre-event/post-event building/arena security, and traffic/parking control before and after events, and providing related guest services. High School Diploma or GED.
Email a current resume to email@example.com
Visit the HR Department between 9:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. Monday-Friday to complete and submit an employment application; (The HR Department is located on the 2nd level of the Civic Center Shops)
Download and complete a blank employment application from the company's website
Completed applications can be mailed or brought to the HR Department
Human Resources Department
Lexington Center Corporation
430 West Vine Street
Lexington, KY 40507
So there you go. Dreams can come true.
National Geographic Photographer
Seriously, who HASN'T wanted this job? You get to travel the world, hear all sorts of cool stories, get up close and personal with wild animals, perhaps even have your photograph featured as a screensaver on computers around the world. On my general life "to do" list is take photography classes. Maybe it would help class this blog up a bit.
Top Chef Judge
I wouldn't even be picky about whether I was a judge on classic Top Chef or Top Chef: Just Desserts. Just get me at some food!! I can throw around buzzwords just as well as Tom Colicchio- "heavy handed with the salt," "a little under-seasoned," "the texture was just completely unappetizing." I can be snooty and judgmental too! I also have good table manners, which is a really under-appreciated skill these days.
Also, I would like to hang out with Padma in hopes that her beauty rubs off on me.
VH1 Talking Head
You've read the blog- you know Ally and I have lots of scathing commentary on contemporary (and past) pop culture. What better way to use these talents than to be a regular on VH1's "Best Songs of the 00s"?
And seriously, where has Best Week Ever gone?? It was the most consistent source of news in my life.
Usher's backup dancer
Because really, did you expect us to get through a blog without mentioning Usher... twice?
I have no shame about this. My greatest regret is that I quit dance before I got a chance to be any good at it, for real. Having the chance to travel with Usher, dance every night, get an amazing body, build my leather wardrobe, and possibly be impregnated by Usher himself? What's not to love?
Crossword Puzzle Creator
Anyone who knows me knows I love doing the crossword. It's a great joy in my life. When Ally suggested this, she specified for entertainment magazines like US Weekly or People. That would be fun... but seriously, I have so much respect for the people who create the New York Times crosswords each day. They have to be so damn clever. Some days towards the end of the week (when the crossword gets progressively harder), I literally find myself shaking my fist at these imaginary people and cursing them for being so witty. Yup. I want to be one of them.
Side notes: Potential Christmas gift that I've always wanted but never gotten- the giant wall crossword from Sky Mall magazine. (MOM)
Also, would anyone like to go to a crossword convention with me someday? No joke. HMU!
Jay Z and Beyonce's Nanny
I'm going to constantly search for them on Sitty City.com and Nannies Inc until I find them. Then, I will convince them that I am the best babysitter ever and I am completely fit and competent to take care of their little bundle of love. I would totally fit into their family.
(This is his Facebook profile picture)
Because as Ally Tucker puts it, "Really, what does he do all day?" Besides make angry phone calls in Farsei and churn it out on the Elliptical while watching Family Feud... not much.