Tucker's Tales


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New Years Resolutions...Auld Lang Syne

Posted by Ally Tucker on January 2, 2012 at 12:55 AM Comments comments (0)

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To get in the spirit of reading this blog entry, please let the above song run and play as you read. By the way, who knew that they were saying "For Auld Lang Syne?" I swear I just now discovered that. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR Tucker's Tales readers! Stay tuned tomorrow for a special treat on the blog as we celebrate our 1 year anniversary. Please send all gifts to Kristen Geil in Chicago, for I have just recently cleaned out/thrown away/organized/donated to Goodwill 75% of the things I own (thanks, Mom) and have no room for the clutter. 

For some reason we as a society have convinced ourselves that the best time to "start anew" is on the first of every year. We may put off joining the YMCA for 3 months because even though the idea entered our mind in mid-fall, it will just be easier to start at the beginning of the year, right? Not wanting to get up an hour earlier to work out will certainly disappear when the clock strikes midnight. 

I digress. 

My point is this: Many of us make "New Year's Resolutions." Often times these resolutions are meant to be very big, life altering decisions that will change the way you do things in the coming year. Some people try to kick old habits. Others try to start new ventures. Let me let you in on a little secret, in case you didn't already know...

Starting this blog was my New Year's Resolution last year. 

I can honestly say that this blog has probably been the only New Year's Resolution that I have ever accomplished. 

But just in case you were curious, I have browsed through my memory bank to share with you every New Year's Resolution that I have ever had in my life.... Enjoy a Day Resolution in the Life Of Ally Tucker. 

*I don't have a picture of me from every year of my life on hand, so instead of using ONLY pictures of myself, I will ALSO use pictures of children that I do not know from Google Images. I will try to be politically correct and represent all races in my fake scrapbook. 

1 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Learn Cursive. 

2 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Quit Smoking 

3 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Find out why my sister calls me Lettuce (Background: Before I was born, my sister wanted my parents to name me "Lettuce." Instead of accepting that they in fact did not name me Lettuce, she refused to call me by any other name for years. Ironically, I now hate salad. Coincidence? I think not!)

4 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Don't cry on the 1st day of school next year (I was that kid...)

5 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Write the "Y" at the end of my name (Ally) facing the right direction....that was a big problem when I was doing things like writing my name on walls, my baby dolls heads (not sure what that was all about), desks, my sister's bunkbed (sorry about that Colleen). 

6 Year - Old Resolution

--> Learn UK's starting line-up (I think I have known every single one since)
-->  Take more glamour shots with cheek resting on my hand

7 Year- Old Resolution

--> Get a bowl cut
--> Stay sassy

8 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Learn how to write a cursive "Z"  (I still don't know how to do that...and neither do you)

9 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Hold an alligator (check!)
--> Beat the N-64 game "Donkey Kong Country"

10 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Win 1st place in the Science Fair
--> Get a UK Starter Jacket

11 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Learn to accept my Cleveland Indians Starter Jacket
--> Keep my Nano Puppy alive for longer than 24 hours 

12 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Learn how to roller skate backwards so that I can look cool at Champs Roller Rink
--> Beat the N-64 Game "007"

13 Year-Old Resolution:

--> Come up with clever Away Messages on AOL

14 Year-Old Resolution:

--> Get a State Championship Ring as a South Oldham soccer player (check! check!)

15 Year- Old Resolution:

(That picture actually is of me and 2 of my best friends from high school)

-->  Stop going to Oldham 8 movie theatre every weekend and dressing up like a goober while 1 of the 3 of the "8-er Crew" pretends to be on crutches and trips and falls in front of people in line at the theatre to see what they do. 
-->  Get a bit role on the soap opera "Passions"

16 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Start wearing underwear under your pants
--> Convince Dawson's Creek's producers not to end the series

17 Year-Old AND 18 Year-Old Resolutions:

--> Destroy Sacred Heart

19 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Remember to take Tuberculosis Pills every day so that I don't die (whoops)
--> Survive rooming with the person pictured above for a year

20 Year- Old thru 22 Year-Old Resolutions: too busy loving every single thing about my time at Transy to make resolutions. 

23 Year-Old Resolution:

--> Find a new job (When the highlight of your job becomes winning a ridiculous amount of "Around the World" games during the patient's smoke breaks...it's time to move on)

24 Year- Old Resolution:

--> Start a blog! (Check!)

The Breakfast Club

Posted by Ally Tucker on January 1, 2012 at 10:40 PM Comments comments (1)
*First and foremost, today is our 1 year anniversary as a blog. Be sure to read our "Tucker's Tales: A Year in Review" blog entry before you do anything else...

(photo courtesy of Westwoodonesports.com)

In the past week if you have watched a Kentucky basketball game, picked up a local newspaper, listened to a talk show, had a conversation with a Kentucky fan, or have generally speaking not lived under a rock, you know of Michael Kidd-Gilchrist. He had perhaps one of the greatest performances in Kentucky basketball history on Saturday with a 24 point, 19 rebound outing against the arch-rival, the University of Louisville. Chances are that you have probably heard one more thing about Michael Kidd-Gilchrist recently.....

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist has started what has now been coined as "The Breakfast Club" with some of his teammates at the University of Kentucky. Kidd-Gilchrist (I will refer to him as MKG from now on for abbreviation purposes) has started a tradition of waking up early and dragging along some of his teammates to put in extra work/practice early in the morning, followed by eating breakfast together. Coach John Calipari has lauded him for his efforts, saying that the club has built an almost "brotherhood-like" bond between the players who have been attending. Coach Cal also believes that the results of the extra hard work and dedication have shown up on the basketball court come game-day. Hard to argue with that considering MKG's explosive performance on Saturday. 

Anyway, enough about the history of MKG's "Breakfast Club." Earlier today on Twitter, one of my favorite people to follow, UK fan and Cougartown actor Josh Hopkins joked that he was going to start his own "Breakfast Club" in LA. He even mentioned something to effect of, "wouldn't it be funny if everyone started their own breakfast club, whether it be at the gym or at work." 

Of course, my wheels started turning immediately. I threw out the idea on my Facebook page about starting a "Breakfast Club" MKG style. I really wasn't sure exactly what this club would entail, but I knew that I wanted to start something. 

Aided by the fact that my Mom got me in the "cleaning out/organizing mood" by forcing me to go through every clothing item I've ever owned since middle school and decide "Yes" "No" or "Maybe" as to whether or not they were worth keeping, I came back to my apartment after Christmas break and decided to do the same type of Spring Winter cleaning myself. In the process I stumbled across an old filing box filled with everything I ever considered "important" to me while I was at Transy. 

And let me tell you about the best treasures that I found...Handwritten notes/letters. 

I'm being completely serious. I had at least 15-20 hand-written notes, letters, cards, etc. from friends, family, sorority sisters, teachers, etc.  I read every single one and was completely touched by each and every one. Some were only a few sentences at most. Others were much longer. They were from all kinds of people about all kinds of things. Some were serious. Some were goofy. Some were thoughtful. Some were witty. 

But each one was special. 

With the popularity of Facebook, e-mail, text messaging, and Twitter...we can communicate so effortlessly with one another these days. If you want to say something to someone, you can probably come up with at least 5 easier ways to directly communicate with them than writing a note. 

My Mom gives me (and my sister) a pack of "Thank You Cards" in my stocking each and every year. She has even gone so far as to give me postage stamps now. Every single Christmas I write a hand-written thank you note to all of my family members. Sometimes it can be a hassle to actually sit down and write them and I will openly admit to not wanting to take the time to do it plenty of times. I have waited until March before to send them. I can honestly say though that besides those thank you notes, and maybe a few other random birthday cards here and there, I can't remember the last time that I have given someone a hand-written note or card JUST BECAUSE. 


I want to start a "Breakfast Club."

I don't think that just because MKG's club meets to workout every morning, that working out is the only purpose a Breakfast Club can serve. 

What will my "Breakfast Club" be? ....   

The idea is SO SIMPLE that it's almost absurd. 


  • Wake up 10 minutes earlier every morning
  • Pick someone who either still is, or at some point has been meaningful to your life
  • Sit down for a moment and write them a hand-written note/card/letter
  • The length and content of the note are subjective
  • Send it to them
Seriously, how easy is that? The only effort that it might take is asking them for their address either before or after writing the note. Other than that, it's so so so simple. 

You know what though? I guarantee you that they will appreciate and treasure what you send them way more than they will cherish or even remember or re-visit any e-mail, Facebook post, text message, tweet that you send them. 

I'm going to do it....starting tomorrow. The beauty of this Breakfast Club? You don't have to even get up every morning and meet with a bunch of people. Do it on your own wherever you are. 

Call me sappy or call me a goober for this little idea... but I hope some of you will join my "Breakfast Club."

Also...I think all kinds of breakfast clubs could be successful. If you have suggestions for other ideas, count me in. I'm all about it. 

Tucker's Tales: A Year In Review

Posted by Ally Tucker on January 1, 2012 at 2:35 PM Comments comments (0)

On January 2nd, 2011 at 4:21 p.m.....a new baby was born....probably in a hospital somewhere in the United States....to a joyful mother and father. 

On January 2nd, 2011 at 4:21 p.m....a new blog was born...definitely in a small apartment room at "The Lex"... ...to a joyful pair of pals, Ally and Kristen. 

I know I've probably told this story on here before, but a random text message from Kristen sent to me a few months before the whole blog actually came to fruition, was the culprit for this whole thing. Kristen sent me a message that said something to the effect of: 

"I like your Facebook statuses. If you ever had a blog, I'd read it."

The wheels began to turn at that moment, though I'm not even really sure how aware I was of the fact that it was happening. I began to get a little antsy around new year's of last year and decided that I wanted to start a new project. Suddenly, the text message's message (how's that for a tongue-twister?) came back to me and I began searching the internet for free blog host websites. 

My initial thought, considering my obsession with sports and lifelong dream of someday writing for KentuckySportsRadio.com, was that the blog would mainly center around me writing about sports. I even tried to pick what I thought was a "sporty looking" backdrop for the blog. If I had to guess, probably very few of you even remember the initial lay-out for this blog. It was some psychodelic-looking blue and black lightening strike-looking thing. The layout was hideous and thank God a few people made playful comments and urged me to change it. 

Since then, the format and layout have not really changed at all. But the content has certainly been as random as can be. We have not written solely about sports. We have written about just about anything you could probably imagine.  (And even things you could not imagine, such as "Celebrity Survivor" and having a "Life Draft"--- my bad guys on never finishing those....what was I thinking???)

The little project of this blog started out as a fun idea that I honestly thought would mostly consist of me writing things that only I would read, and maybe my parents and Kristen just because she felt bad. Little did I know that not only would Kristen become a HUGE part of the blog with her hilarious and impressive writing skills, but also that people would actually read it. 

I remember being excited the first time that we hit 100 views. It was early on too, maybe within a day or two if I remember correctly. A few retweets later from our MVP, Mary Jo Perino, and we were steadily bringing in around 100 viewers a day. Since then things have fluctuated for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we get an absurd amount of hits (you would laugh at the different Google searches that people use that somehow bring them to our website) and sometimes both of us are so busy that we don't blog quite as often. Regardless, the fact that so many of you all have taken the time to read our blog, come back to read more of our blog, share it with your friends and family, and genuinely support us in our crazy little adventure is something that we are forever grateful for-- THANK YOU!

In our 1 year of existence we have had a grand total of 24,755 views:

Now for a little treat on this 1 year anniversary (don't worry, we are celebrating over a fancy dinner tonight--and by that I mean Kristen will cook a really fancy dinner and send me a picture of it), we would like to re-visit some of our favorite blog entries from the past year. 

We have gone back through every single entry (someday we will figure out a way to make doing this easier on the blog) and I have selected what I think are Kristen's TEN BEST BLOG ENTRIES. Kristen has gone back and selected what she thinks are MY BEST TEN BLOG ENTRIES. Simply click on the links provided to go back and read some of our favorites (also keep in mind that some of the pictures that we used along the way have since disappeared...probably copyright bull-jive)

Enjoy....oh, and also...be grateful that since the VERY FIRST BLOG ENTRY, we have learned that adding pictures makes things so much better. Shoutout to Google Images. Thanks, bro. 

Ally's Picks for Kristen's 10 Best Blog Entries of 2011 (in no particular order):

**possibilities....have to finalize still

1)  Why TLC is the Best Channel on Television

-Kristen started her Tucker's Tales blogging career off with a bang. As soon as I read this entry, I not only laughed out loud (LOL-ed if you will) but I knew that she was going to become a major contributor, far beyond simply a "guest blogger."

2)  Fall of 1995: I might be a Griffin and I get an angel 

-Perhaps my favorite line ever in any of Kristen's many melodramatic and absurd diary entries. "I got an angel! Bye!"

3) Lexington Bucket List 

- I think that Kristen has far more "practical" and "useful" blog entries than I do. This is one of her best when it comes to actually informing readers about something important, which in this case revolves around her knowledge and love for Lexington. 

4) Typical Amazing Race Audition

- One of the more "so ridiculous that it can't be true, but it's true" stories I've ever heard. Kristen details her audition with her good friend Layson for the television hit show "The Amazing Race"

5) Missed Connections on Spring Break

-Kristen rode a mechanical bull on spring break, among other things. 

6 ) Hypothetical Tweets From Peru 

- Kristen combines her love with Twitter and her trip to Peru. Genius. 

7) Walk the Plank 

- Some of the pictures Kristen found of people "planking" are hilarious. Not to mention that this particular blog entry has accounted for probably 50% of our blog site traffic. When you google or google image the word "planking," Kristen's article is one of the first hits. #BlogSoHard

8 )  Living the Dream 

-Kristen makes a list of her dream jobs. Some are obvious choices, some... not so much. 

9) What Would You Do?

-This is one of my favorite blog entries that Kristen has ever written. I had a giggle fit through the entire thing. Kristen outlines what she would do for tickets to the UK/UNC game. 

10) College Classes That Should Be Offered

-Kristen included nearly a page of dialogue directly from the television show "Boy Meets World." I cried just reading it. Enough said. 

Kristen's Picks for Ally's 10 Best Blog Entries of 2011 (in no particular order):

1. Kentucky Wildcat La Familia Christmas Letter -

Spot on. Just spot on.

2. Late Night Confession: Ally's First Real Job -

I still LOL thinking about this time in Ally's life. 

3. Lexington's Best Kept Secrets: Volume 4

- CHASE NO FACE >>>>>>>. And Ally's photo captions are genius.

4. What Kind of Facebook Are You?

- I love lists. 

5. Consumer's Report- Hunger Games

- Ally was on top of the Hunger Games way before the bandwagon started. AND Twitter. Props. 

6. So You're Saying There's A Chance?

- UK vs Transy is a game that needs to happen every year. Bonus points for referencing Becky the Icebox.

7. Final Thoughts on the World Cup

- Oh hey, remember when the World Cup happened this summer and it was AWESOME?? Ally does.  

8. Monday Night Karaoke 6/6/11

- Although all karaoke entries could be on this list, I chose this one because I wasn't there and that is one of my greatest regrets in life. 

9. Tribute to the Graduates

- Maybe I cried reading this. Maybe I didn't. You'll never know. 

10. U(r)sher Concert Review

- One of my top five nights of 2011 by far, and Ally completely did it justice in the blog entry. 

*** We couldn't forget our favorite guest bloggers. Guest bloggers have been a wonderful bonus for our blog. We have had all kinds of wonderful contributions throughout the year. We have found that all kinds of people have a gift when it comes to writing and/or sharing stories. We hope to continue to allow a place for people to come and share their stuff. It was hard to pick just 5 favorites, but we tried to display a variety. 


1) "In Defense of Jersey Shore" By Meagen Fuller 

-She honestly almost had me relating to the Jersey Shore gang. 

2) "Your Parents Hate You: Ridiculous Names Vol. 1" by Brandon Daulton

-Brandon is really passionate about ridiculous childhood names. I hope that he marries a woman who insists on naming their child "LaTiffany" or something of the sort. 

3) "In the Spirit of Lent" by Meg Phillips

- Meg brought it hard and we love her for it. She went ham on all kinds of people/things. 

4) "Becoming a Karaoke Regular" by Colleen Tucker

- Considering how many karaoke entries we had, I figured my sister's entry about the guidelines for being a karaoke regular seemed appropriate. 

5)  "Short Hair, Don't Care" by Cole Adams 

-If I'm being honest, this might be one of my favorite blog entries we've ever had-- not just guest blog entries either. Cole nailed her tribute to the US Women's National Team coach Pia Sunhage. 

Jack's Pokemon cards were stolen- Diary!

Posted by Kristen Geil on December 27, 2011 at 10:50 PM Comments comments (0)

10-3-99 7:43 am

I went to Courtney's birthday party @ Entertainment X-press. I rode in the go-carts most of the time. The go cart track went like this: 

(insert a drawing of a squiggly figure eight type thing, with a start, a hill/bridge, a garage, and a finish)

I can't WAIT to go back!

10-6 9:22 pm

Somebody stole almost all of Jack's Hologram Pokemon Cards, which are worth a lot of $$$.

Halloween Costumes:

me: (grouch) Pink bathrobe, hair in curlers, slippers, carrying coffee mug and newspapers, and sign that says "I'm NOT a morning person."

Alice, Lisa, and Eunice- Rockstars

Eunice might have a Halloween party. I'm not sure I want to go.

Went to see Annie, the play (is Annie supposed to be underlined or "quotes">;) last night. It was great! The singing was awesome (it lasted from 8:00 pm to 10:30pm)! I <3ed Molly! Anne's seeing it tonight! 

Now I've started a notebook about friends and grownups. To see what each page is about, rub yellow "Harriet the Spy" pen @ top of each page (Limited Too notebook).

I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF SCHOOL! I never thought I'd write that. 


(greatest to least)

1. Adam and Jack Davidson


Ignore that. All of my crushes are tied.

I feel SO SORRY for Jack, and not because of his Pokeman cards. He's quieter and more different than the other boys, so whenever he's in my group 4 something, I kind of protect him and offer him chances 2 do something first. I do like him, but only in a friendly way. 

(drawing of: heart, peace sign, star, smiley face, ying yang, triangle, square, circle, star of david, swirly, squiggle)

I felt like doing that. 

Kentucky Wildcat La Familia Christmas Card

Posted by Ally Tucker on December 22, 2011 at 7:20 PM Comments comments (0)



Happy Holidays everyone! To say the least, 2011 has been eventful & exciting in our La Familia here at the University of Kentucky. We have had some significant changes in our lives this year, saying goodbye to some of our family members while also welcoming in some new family members as well.


We had a very difficult pregnancy with little Marquis. He almost didn't make it. Sure enough though, when the stork dropped him off on our doorstep instead of the doorstep of Porcini's, we were very excited to see our new little bundle of joy.



Marquis is currently experiencing some of the pains that come with teething, but he is slowly but surely turning the corner and making us proud parents instead of causing us to lose sleep and want to rip our hair out after each turnover  contested 3-pointer incoming tooth.


 One of our other new family members, worried us a bit before he arrived as well. When we got the ultra-sound pictures we quickly panicked as any young parents would when we only saw one eyebrow instead of two. The doctors assured us that this was not a critical issue in his development moving forward. He has really excelled since coming home. He loves all of his toys but he has shown a preference for blocks. All little Anthony Davis does all day: blocks, blocks, blocks. He also enjoys playing with his brothers, but they get angry because everytime they try to hand him one of their toys to share with him, he promptly swats it in the other direction. We are sure that he will learn to share in time. He could stand to gain a little bit of weight too...


We have included a picture of baby Anthony's ultrasound!




People keep asking us if little Kyle came from the Milk Man, seeing as he really doesn't resemble anyone else in our family. Kyle worries at times, but we tell him that if anyone gives him any trouble or picks on him for being different, he just needs to learn to defend himself  DEFEND. Point. Blank. End. Of. Story.


Another one of our boys, little Doron, seemed to be having some issues with his vision in school. We finally got him to the eye doctor and they were able to fit him with a pair of glasses with a special prescription lense...



  You would be amazed at how much better he can see now! He doesn't even have to wear both lenses anymore!



We took a family vacation a few weeks ago in Uncasville, Connecticut. They had a great casino there! The company wasn't the greatest, but the boys did come back with a little souvenir.




Our boy Enes finally got out of jail after a year!



We wanted to take a moment to personally thank all of our closest friends, church and family for all of the continuing support you gave him during his imprisonment. We will never forget you guys! #LaFamilia



Little Brandon made the honor roll.....AGAIN.




If everyone could just take a quick break from reading the rest of this letter for a minute to pray for our Uncle Chuck. He has fallen a bit ill recently and needs all of your prayers and strength. We heard that he is making a quick recovery, but still...we wish him a year of perfect health!


We had a family reunion this summer. What a blast it was to have everyone back in the same room, sharing stories, swapping trading cards and giving each other shout outs on Twitter. Funny enough, we had like 3 or 4 more reunions just a few weeks later as well. We will probably have another one next summer...hell, maybe we'll have 6 or 7. It was great to have all the guys back around so much...


Speaking of family....Grandma's still got it...


Shhhh....don't tell anyone but little Mikey is our favorite child. He is just perfect in every single way. Honestly, he can do no wrong. We love his every move. He has even been lending a hand to La Familia by getting the other kids up for breakfast every morning and making sure they get fed. He calls it the "Breakfast Club." Such a little angel, that Michael!



 Our pride and joy last year, little Joshua, has moved on to take a new job in the Big Apple of all places! The last we heard from him, he was in talks with an agent to have his own reality tv show titled "Fountain of Fun." We don't get much  mail from him, but occasionally we still receive mail FOR him. Last March, for example, Jared Sullinger sent him a letter. The only thing enclosed in the envelope was his dignity.


Ohio State falls to Kentucky, 62-60


Oh, and we can't leave out the family pet...our little centaur, Eloy. Eloy has really been making major strides in his coordination, even picking up a few new tricks since last year. We find that this year we don't have to yell "NOOOOOOO!" quite so much at him.




All in all, 2011 has been a great year for us here at the Univeristy of Kentucky. We hope that 2011 has been just as great for the rest of the #BBN. Please remember to enjoy the ride, check out my website CoachCal.Com, try a cup of the holiday flavors at Orange Leaf and Bounce Back from any of your shortcomings!


Happy Holidays!!!



Coach Cal


P.s. Pray for sweet Terrence. He has lost his way. And apparently his chin as well.



Karaoke Got Weird

Posted by Kristen Geil on December 22, 2011 at 1:40 AM Comments comments (0)

Remember when I had an imaginary twin that wrote in my diary? That was weird. Remember when Ally worked at Eastern State and a patient told her that she wished Ally would have dinosaur babies? That was weird too. But Monday Night Karaoke- Holiday Edition, topped all of that weirdness, and then some.

This MNK rendezvouz had been weeks in the making. Ally and I wanted our families to meet and create a mega-family, and MNK seemed like the perfect meeting point. On the drive over to Chinoe Pub, we passed a lone pedestrian wearing a Santa hat and a dress. Little did we know, it was our good friend Amy tromping over to join us at MNK. That's dedication.

Basically, this night can be broken up into Family Time and Weird Time.


We arrived around 8 pm to claim our tables and have a drink and snacks before. Eva, our frosty-turned-friendly bartender, greeted me with alternating excitement and admonishment for not showing up for a few months. I told her I had moved to Chicago, but that didn't seem to be a sufficient reason for her. She also informed us that we had missed the Chinoe Pub holiday party, which had been held the night before and featured "free everything!" We are forever regretful that we missed it. Next year, folks. Next year. We were saddened to hear that Kenny McKenny hadn't shown up for a few weeks. In fact, Eva informed us that the next day, they were going to call him and make sure he was okay. Keep him in your thoughts, guys.

The DJ showed up and brought out the books, and with that, there was a flurry of napkin-writing and songsheet flipping to sign up for our favorites. Ally started the night off correctly with her go-to number "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." Always the crowd pleaser, parents and sisters alike were delighted by her enthusiastic sound effects. I jumped in with the Full House Theme Song, which I am starting to believe is my signature number- I don't hate it.

Immediately afterwards, however, we came down from our karaoke high after being forced to hear a horrible rendition of Katy Perry's Hot N Cold. I mean it. It was probably the WORST karaoke song I have ever experienced, and this includes Sarah McLeod and "Benny and the Jets." This woman simply could not carry a tune, and often resorted to spoken-word karaoke rather than singing. My ears died a little bit.

Luckily, Ally and her sister, Colleen, stepped back up to the plate with a sister duet- "We Belong." My sister and I counteracted with Shania Twain's "Man, I Feel Like A Woman," a song that held many childhood memories for us. It's hard to say which Sister Act came out on top, but it's actually probably irrelevant, because Amy and I followed it up with the crowd favorite of "Camel Toe." It made my mother cry, and I'm not sure I'm proud of that. We were a little out of practice and found ourselves giggling through much of the lyrics, but the crowd was into it and we got a solid round of applause at the end. 

Colleen sang the Lisa Loeb one-hit wonder "Stay," showing off her karaoke chops that have made her famous in the Louisville karaoke scene. Her fiance, Ty, however, stole the show with his performance of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out." Ty rapped with gusto, using some strange accent that I can't place and slightly threatening hand gestures, even going so far as to point directly at the DJ while saying "MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!" It was the surprise hit of the night, seconded only by perhaps me and Ally's moms teaming up to sing "Barbara Ann" with each other. Precious moments, precious dance moves, precious everything. Way to go moms!

By that time, Ally's family was looking to head home to Louisville, so Ally closed their night out by serenading her parents with Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up" while they slow-danced on the dance floor. They might have cried, making my "Camel Toe" performance even more despicable. Thanks, Tucker. 

Other performances included me and Rachel singing "All Star," Sarah and I singing "Independent Woman," Ally and I singing "Dilemma," and Amy and Ally singing Meredith's Brooks "Bitch." Demetri showed up and sang a slow jam, serenading my sister and my mom. Every so often he changed up the lyrics, interjecting "Don't do pills!" at random places- good advice for the ages, I suppose, but overall Demetri behaved himself. Family Night and Weird started to overlap when Ally and I sang the Bon Jovi classic "Living on a Prayer" while a blonde woman stripped on the dance floor. As in, danced provocatively by herself and lifted up her sweater to flash our table. At that point, my mom and my sister left- probably for the better- and the night became full on weird. 





Honestly, it's hard to even know how to describe this part of the night. Ally and Sarah sang Little Drummer Boy, which was maybe not the best choice of karaoke song, but apparently our blonde friend thought so because she flashed her G-string, complete with charms on it (didn't know those existed). 

However, I think weird time actually started when a band of frat bros came in to celebrate a few birthdays. They rushed the bar and in their excitement, accidentally drank a pitcher that appeared abandoned on a booth table (the patrons were actually just outside smoking- an honest mistake by the bros). Well, the DJ was not amused, and she called them out over the microphone, yelling at them to "MAKE IT RIGHT!" which they did. Soon after, however, a bro spilled beer on the dance floor and didn't clean it up. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think this happens often at bars. I guess the DJ had never seen that behavior before though, because she interrupted Sarah and Ally's "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" to again yell into the microphone, proclaiming "THIS IS OUR HOUSE AND DON'T YOU DISRESPECT IT!" while having someone bring the poor guy a mop to clean up his mess. It was simultaneously uncomfortable and hilarious. I still can't believe the DJ had the nerve to interrupt Sarah and Ally's hit song. 

One of the bros signed up to rap Jay Z's "Give It To Me," which, if you've never heard it before, has slightly raunchy lyrics. Well, ol' DJ gave them the dirty eye every time they didn't bleep out any bad words. Demetri asked me to dance, and we had the pleasure of dancing next to a girl a lot drunker than anyone else grinding up on the bro who was rapping. I said to Demetri, "I'm not going to dance like that." Unexpectedly, he responded "Girl I know. I know a lady when I see one." At the end of the dance, he kissed me on the cheek and inquired about how my graduate program was going up in Chicago. What a gentleman! Sarah and Jeremy sang Summer Loving, with the parts switched so that Sarah was the guy and Jeremy was the girl- always fun.

After we parted ways on the dance floor, Demetri headed up to the stage to sing "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson. We were apprehensive about this because Man in the Mirror is a trickier karaoke song than one might think. Demetri nailed it. The whole bar was up and dancing, singing our hearts out, and I can honestly say I felt united with Chinoe Pub's patrons. A kindred spirit was in the air, and it was magical. Thank you, Demetri.

We were about to leave, when I realized that I had one more song coming up. It was one of my favorite karaoke songs- "Bust A Move" by Young MC. I hate to brag, but it really got the crowd up on its feet. Everyone was dancing and singing along, but perhaps my favorite visual was Ally dancing with one of the bros. When I say dancing, I mean old school, waltzy, classic dancing. The boy kept yelling at her, "JUST LET ME LEAD!" while Ally would respond "I don't know what I'm doing!" with a bewildered look on her face. 

The night ended with Sarah singing "Genie in a Bottle," and a bro closing down the bar with "Stronger" by Kanye West, with some freestyle verses thrown in there. It was a sight to see, and I honestly do not feel like I have done the weirdness justice in this blog entry. For that, I apologize, but you just need to see it in person. Monday Night Karaoke > Monday Night Football, or anything else. Come one, come all. 

Tucker's Tales Christmas Letter

Posted by Kristen Geil on December 22, 2011 at 12:35 AM Comments comments (0)

Dear Friends, Family, Anonymous Blog Readers, and Kevin Bacon,

Well, our first year on the blog has flown by, and we have to say we have been pleasantly surprised by our loyal readership and fan feedback. I can't tell you how many times I have been in a random place in Lexington, only to have a friend or acquantaince come up to me and comment on how funny our blog is. We love you guys too!

(Can't plug the website Watch the Cradle enough, y'all). 

Anyway, we figured the holidays were a perfect time to recap the year. One of our favorite things about Christmas cards are the "family update" letters we get in the mail- you know, the ones that take even the most awkward news and spin it into Christmas card-appropriate (ex: At the old age of 22, Stevie is no longer single! He has met a lovely woman 23 years his senior and is now teaching her 16 year old how to drive- but not on his car of course!). As my little sister so wisely put it last night, "Live a life worthy of the Christmas letter." 

Our little blog started off slowly on January 2nd, as a result of Ally Tucker's New Year's Resolution. Within a few weeks, we had way more readers than we expected readers, many of whom found us through some of the most random searches possible (i.e., "snooki geil").

So what have the past twelve months brought for Tucker's Tales? Well, obviously, it was The Year of the Commoner, a theme that was introduced to us from a commentator on the Royal Wedding and that we have embraced wholeheartedly ever since. For example, in March, Kristen went on her senior spring break and entered a mechanical bull-riding contest (cliche, right?) A couple of weeks later, multiple texts and facebook messages informed her that she had been featured on the Travel Channel's special " Florida Spring Break Fever." 

Another example of this being the Commoner's year was one week when the blog caught the attention of a local Lexington sportscaster, Mary Jo Perino. She tweeted about us pretty regularly for awhile there, so much so that we featured her in our Celebrity Survivor game (sorry for never finishing that guys...).

Oh, and you guys may remember back in April when a young man from Missouri, with a heart of gold and shorts of denim, won the hearts of America with his blue-collar work ethic and rags-to-riches story. That's right, we're talking about Josh "Jorts" Harrellson. 

Jorts was in many ways the emotional backbone of the Final Four team for UK, and he is the Commoner personified. This has continued to be a theme in his life even after graduation from UK- he got drafted by the New York Knicks and is slowly but surely becoming a beloved figure in NYC. He is, in his own words, "a never-ending waterfall of fun," and definitely deserves his own reality show (much like Turtleman, another beloved KY figure who got his own show on Animal Planet this year). Way to go, Jorts!

Karaoke is, without a doubt, a commoner's activity- and boy, did we embrace that this year. It became our go-to Monday night activity. Countless versions of Camel Toe, Living on a Prayer, The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and the Full House Theme Song have brought us closer with the patrons of Chinoe Pub, the bar of choice of the Commoners. Not convinced? Search "Karaoke" in our blogs and read our recaps. It's something everyone should experience once in their life. 

After a summer filled with tennis-playin days and karaoke nights, Kristen and Ally were forced to separate when Kristen packed up her cowgirl boots and moved to Chicago. She has spent the fall going to graduate school for Professional Writing (and yes, that is as vague of a career path as it sounds) and working jobs at Sprinkles Cupcakes and J Crew. We remained in touch through constant texting, facebooking, tweeting, hey-telling, and real phone calls. Also through Kristen's little sister Rachel, who texts Ally just as often as I do now. Back in Lexington, Ally has maintained a busy schedule filled with working at a local high school, coaching soccer, and texting Kristen updates from UK games when Kristen can't watch. While the move has been difficult for all involved, we think that it's made Kristen appreciate Kentucky even more (Cats fans are still aplenty in Chicago, thank God) and forced her to consider what is really important in her life. Namely, warm weather. Oh, and there's an off-chance that Kristen's upcoming summer nannying job will help her meet Oprah and/or her first husband. So there's that to look forward to. Also, Kristen cannot WAIT until Ally gets an iPhone so we can communicate solely through Emojis. 

So, to summarize: 2011- Year of the Commoner. The theme for 2012 (besides the already-cliche "Year of the Apocalpyse")? I guess it's too early to decide, but we're pushing for BOUNCE BACK- Coach Cal will have it no other way. 

Thanks for reading, friends. We love you guys and appreciate your support of the blog!


Love, Kristen and Ally

Won a ride in a limo- Diary!

Posted by Kristen Geil on December 22, 2011 at 12:10 AM Comments comments (1)

9-28 9:40pm

Now my energy poster looks awful. (I won't go into details)

Wrote a report about owls.

Tons o' homework the last few days. I wish I could take a day off like Ross, who's got mono,

I can't WAIT to go to the Greenbriar w/ Anne 4 2000! Our first words r gonna be "Ka-boom!" @ the Greenbriar, I'm planning to carry this around because even though I've only been there once before, I know it's gonna (drawing of a 'bee') outta this (drawing of a 'world'). For example, off the top of my head I know the Greenbrier has: movie theater, bowling alleys, golf courses, carriage rides, and indoor and outdoor pools. Amazing, eh? 

(drawing of an 'eye,' drawing of a 'can') + NOT WAY+IT-Y!

Let's see, anything else? Oh, yeah, read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkabam, **** 5 stars and 2 thumbs up. Warning: 437 or so pages. 


I, the undersigned, solemnly swear to work on the Harry Potter Candy Contest, and get it finished and send it in. Kristen Michelle Geil


(PS I hope no one actually reads this)


I sent it in.

I've decided that I like Jack Davidson. He's actually cute, unlike most other boys (w/ excepts of Walt Daniels and Jake Lockridge). He jokes around and doesn't get all uptight around girls. He even wants to be an actor, like I want to be an actress. (He got a part in Madeline, a play) 

Went to Joseph Beth. Bought: Replica: Another Amy, Replica: Perfect Girls, Watchers: Island, Watchers: Lab 6, BSC Friends 4-everL Stacey vs Claudia, BSC Friends Forever: Mary Anne's Big Breakup, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator (whew!).

I've also decided to be extra nice to the New Kids.

Jack: Stats

Hair: Pale Brown

Eyes: Pale Blue

Haircut: Buzz

From: Wyoming

Height: About my size

Other: Jokes, natural, not much of a neck

Oh, guess WHAT! This morning over the intercom Mrs. King drew 5 names to go out to lunch in a limo. I was sitting casually, cuz I didn't really care who won. Martha's sister won a Sony Playstation. Then she got to the limo/lunch. The first 3 names were drawn. I was still bored. The fourth name was "Kristen Geil, 5B!" Everyone in 5B turned to look @ me (I sit in the back) and clapped enthusiastically, except for Alison, who started screeching "You won! I can't believe it! You won!" My face turned red and I put my hands 2 my cheeks.

Later, everyone started saying "Take me with you!" (I quote Jake: "I know you're afraid of big, long things, so I'll go in your place.") Ay yi yi!

Letter From An Injured UK Fan

Posted by Ally Tucker on December 16, 2011 at 6:55 AM Comments comments (0)

Some of you all may have read on a popular website, Kentucky Sports Radio, an account from a Kentucky fan about their poor treatment while at the Indiana/Kentucky game last Saturday (click the previous link to read the letter) The UK fan, who was  regular traveler to watch the team play, said that he had never seen a more hostile road environment in which the fans of the opposing team treated him and his friends/family with such anger and aggression. 

Well, in true Tucker's Tales fashion, we went out and found another Kentucky fan who was at the game on Saturday and had an EVEN WORSE tale to tell about her experience on Saturday.... She wanted to use Tucker's Tales as a medium to share her story with the world....

Some of you may know Penelope, from the popular Saturday Night Live skits on NBC. 

You need Adobe Flash Player to view this content.

(In case the video doesn't work...just know that Penelope is THE BIGGEST "ONE-UPPER" of all time. If you adopted a puppy from the Humane Society, she adopted 30 and neutered them all by herself. If you ate an entire box of Oreos in one sitting, she ate an entire box of Double Stuffed Oreos, while lighting a Menorah. 

Penelope's sister, Janellope, is the fan who has decided to stop by. The two have much in common....

Dear Tucker's Tales,

Allow me to preface by saying I visited Bloomington countless times as a
UK student. I mean literally thousands of times. I actually had a dorm room, a suite rather, on Indiana's campus in addition to my dorm room on Kentucky's campus. I found IU to be a beautiful campus. Naturally, when I bought out the entire arena and then sold the tickets individually to everyone who attended the game, I was pumped to go back!

We arrived in town around 12:30 p.m. on our private jet and had a valet park our car at Kilroy's, a pretty standard college bar. Walking past the first storefront a college kid opened the door and offered us this warm welcome...

"You're going to have your brand new puppy run over multiple times for wearing that blue."

We laughed it off and kept walking to Nick's, the alumni bar and pizza joint that is loaded with Indiana regalia and lore. Within 3 minutes of walking into the bar, all kinds of awful things happened to us. One man with an eye patch pistol whipped me 4 times in the head. 

Another small woman dumped a bag of what I thought was confetti into my hair. As it turns out, she was dumping a bag of lice on me. 

A man who appeared to be in cahoots with the lice lady then pulled out a bottle of "Rid" to help remove the lice, shook it in my face as if he was going to hand it to me, then dumped it out on the floor while simultaneously breaking a comb over his knee. 

Then 5 IU fans clamoring over a pizza started chanting the following two things at me, in rotation: "F*CK KENTUCKY!" "The lice go marching 1 by 1, hoorah, hoorah! The lice go marching 1 by 1 hoorah, hoorah!"

Then an IU fan pushing a stroller handed me her crying baby to hold while she pretended to shoot an invisible gun at another IU fan mockingly doing the John Wall dance. 

We finally made our way though the crowd to find an empty seat and order our pizza. We sat uninterrupted for all of 10 minutes before the next wave of crazy Indiana fans made their way over to our table, one by one. 

The first IU fan to approach me was holding this sign and told me that he just stuck 419 Maxi-Pads on my car windshield. 

Next up, the bartender came racing over, with a frantic look on his face. He was holding a cordless phone and said, "quick, quick! It's urgent! You have a phone call. It's your Mother. She's fallen ill and they don't think she's going to make it." I panicked and nearly began crying when he handed me the phone. I shouted nervously, "Hello?! Hello?! Mother?" I was met with the automated "on hold" music and advertisement from Insight Cable Company, and a snicker from the bartender who grabbed the phone as he realized I had caught on to his joke and yelled "PSYCHEEEEE!" while dropping a dirty hand towel in my beer. 

Over the course of our meal, 11 out of every 10 IU fans came by our table and passed gas as close to our pizza as possible. Needless to say, we couldn't fathom the abuse we were taking. 

The game itself was even worse. We had what should have been very good seats but 2 minutes into the game, a man "conveniently switched seats" with the child sitting in front of me so that I could no longer see the game. The man who sat in front of me was this guy: 

I finally found a small window between him and the short woman next to him (also pictured above) so that I could see the game. Not a minute later and the lady switched seats and once again I could not see because of THIS GUY sitting in front of me:

Come to find out after the game that he was not actually even alive when they brought him out to sit in front of me. In fact, they had brought him back, "Weekend at Bernie" style just so he could obstruct my view of the game since I was a Kentucky fan (I thought that I smelled something funny but assumed it was just the baby next to me whose mother insisted on putting his dirty diapers right under my seat). 

I won't even get into mess that was made of my shins when the fans stormed the court. The man who must have been the 93rd person in a row to run by and kick me as hard as he could in the shin, proclaimed that it was an "old Hoosier tradition." Turns out that kicking the opposing fan in the shin, cutting a section of their hair with scissors, pouring your entire beer and a small wine cooler (mini-hotel fridge style) on their head, handing them used tissues, Tebowing them every time Kentucky scored, throwing live kittens in their laps during timeouts, etc. are not in fact "old Hoosier traditions" after all. I felt so duped. 


By the time I finally settled into my car, after many other absurd gestures of hate were bestowed upon me (That thanks to genetic testing they heard that Beyonce & Jay-Z's child was going to be born mute, I was actually adopted, my brother was actually responsible for 9/11, my daughter was just recently cast for 16 & Pregnant, Enes Kanter was ruled ineligible for the NBA, etc), I was just ready to get home. 

I have enjoyed many Kentucky basketball games on the road, previous Indiana games included...but this is one Cats fan that will never make that trip again. 

Thanks for taking the time to listen to my story. It was a miserable day, to say the least. 


Birthday Presents and Sports Bras- Diary!

Posted by Kristen Geil on December 14, 2011 at 10:55 AM Comments comments (0)

9-25 10:05 pm

I'll list B-day presents tomorrow.

I'm doing basketball. @ the end of the season, I am GETTING MY EARS PIERCED! YEA! YEA!

Editor's note: my parents clearly knew the value of a well-placed bribe. 

Bad news: After the soccer game (we lost 5-0), Alex was getting something out of the cooler, when 2 people sat on it WHILE HER ARM WAS STILL UNDER THE LID! The Pearson family thought nothing of it, but by the time they got home, Alex's arm had swelled. Badly. They made a trip to the ER. We think it's probably a sprain.

B-Day Presents:

McKenzie: Bath and Body Stuff

Laura Beth: n-book, pencils, pic. frame

Cassie- Mad Potter Gift certificate

Lauren- Owl and Pussycat certificate

Kelley- Pillow Pal and Harry Potter #2

Morgan- tiny stuffed animal and $5

Steph- candy and tiny stuffed animal and case

Mal- Pillow Pal

Millers- Piano Pins and Photo Album

Mackenzie- soap and necklace making kit

Caroline- stamps w/ ink pad and frame making kit

Mary- $15 to Joseph Beth

Anne- stationary

Alison- Notebook, pen, inflatable pillow

Kiki- <3 shaped bookmark, <3 shaped box (w/ initials and date inscribed), and Bath Crayons


Where- Southland Bowling

Goody Bags- Lip Smackers, UK tatoos, pen, post-its, shoelaces, candy

My lane- Anne, Mary, Mackenzie, Alison, Mallory

Games- If you get a strike, you wore a tiara/pick paper out of cup. Do what it says (Ex: Bowl w/ eyes closed, lie on belly and push ball/lie on back and push ball w/ feet, etc

Mom might have a brain tumor.

now i sometimes wear a sports bra. i am so embarrassed.

EN: The above sentence was written in miniscule letters. I was very embarrassed. 

Gotta work on Energy poster tomorrow, so NIGHT!

9-26 8:30pm

Lost 2-0 @ game (soccer)

Went to Darryll's.

I've started a diary on Microsoft words saved on diary. The password is crazy8.

I called Alex. Her arm's not broken, but she has to wear it in a sling til Wednes.

My Energy Poster looks GREAT! I mean it!