Tucker's Tales


Thank You

Posted by Ally Tucker on November 29, 2011 at 10:40 PM Comments comments (1)

If you want to read something witty, clever or funny...go read every other blog entry from our archives. 

I spent more time than I would like to admit today trying to think of a comedic tribute blog that I could write to honor Transy's true gem, Letha Mattingly (known to some as "The Thank You Lady"). It turns out, there's really only one way to honor the woman, who has worked for over 30 years swiping Crimson Cards in Transy's cafeteria and making each student smile on their way in to lunch.... and that is by simply saying....

Thank you, Letha. THANK YOU...

So You're Sayin' There's A Chance?

Posted by Ally Tucker on November 2, 2011 at 3:25 PM Comments comments (1)

In case you hadn't heard the news, Transylvania University's Men's Basketball Team is taking on the University of Kentucky tonight at 7 p.m. in an Exhibition Game.  I assume that the game was decided to be an exhibition game because UK was afraid that taking an early loss to Transy in a real game might hurt their RPI later in the season. I also assume that the game is being played in Rupp Arena because UK was clearly afraid of the "home-court advantage" that Transy would have in the Beck Center. 

(If you actually were in this crowd at this game like I was, you actually might believe Transy would have a great home-court advantage. Greatest game ever to take place in the Beck Center...and not a single open seat in the house)

Most people are betting on Kentucky, with it's #1 recruiting class and pre-season #2 ranking, to win by anywhere from 312 to 604 points. If I had to bet my life on it, I'd probably say Kentucky will win by about 466. BUT WITH THAT SAID, WE ALL KNOW THAT IN SPORTS ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.  We've all seen movies like Miracle, Rudy and Airbud! If a dog can dunk a basketball, than I've got to assume that there is a CHANCE, no matter how small, that Transy (a small division 3 school with a smaller student body than Kentucky's football team) could pull off the upset. 

"So you're sayin' there's a chance?" Oh yes, that is exactly what I am saying. 

8 Ways That Transy Could Beat Kentucky Tonight

1. "Chicken Little Flea-Flicker"

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How about the "trick play" that the Little Giants used to win the championship game? If not, it went a little something like this...

"Hey Zoldak?"

"You raaaaang?"

"Chicken Little Fleet-Flicker on 2..."

'Pitch to Johnny."

"Pitch to Johnny??!! You can't pitch to Johnny! I'M JOHNNY!!!"

  You get the point. And if the Chicken Little Fleet-Flicker on 2 doesn't work....you can always go for "The Annexation of Puerto Rico."

2. M.a.r.c. B.a.i.n.

There are 2 legends in Transy's basketball history:

Don Lane (pictured above) and Marc Bain (pictured below)

Marc Bain provided one of the greatest "live" sports memories I have had in my entire life . I was present in the Beck Center in March of 2006 when Marc Bain put on what I can honestly say was one of the best individual sports performances I have ever seen. Marc single-handidly put his Transy team on his back and hit (from my memory) at least eight or nine 3-pointers, though it felt like 20. At one point, he was seemingly unconscious. He threw up a 3-pointer from just over the half-court line after making about 4 in a row. Somehow, it went in. I kid you not--just past the half-court line. The crowd (the 1st picture on this blog entry, actually from that game) was electrified and went absolutely nuts. Bain couldn't miss. I remember people calling him "Marcus Bain the 3-point main" after that. If we just put Marc Bain out on the court tonight against UK, and let him launch 3-pointers, maybe he can create some of that magic that he created almost 6 years ago in the Beck Center. 

3) Kentucky's entire team could get struck by lightning

Remember when the North Korean women's national soccer team claimed that one of the reasons they lost to the US was that most of their team had been struck by lightning? Hey, it could happen. 

4)  Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian loves her athletes. AND, she's newly single! If we could just get K-Dash to quickly date and dump (no one doubts she can accomplish this)  all of the Kentucky men's basketball team, then judging by how her former boyfriends have performed Post-Dash on the field/court, Transy will easily win. Even if Transy doesn't win, they will probably be the subject of a 2-hour "E! Special."

5)  Kentucky could get "Oregon-Trailed"

6)   Implement an "ACT" scoring method

Instead of Transy scoring 2-point and 3-point baskets, they could be awarded whatever their ACT score was each time they score. 

"32-point basket by Smith"

"36-point left-handed lay-up for Phillips."


7)   " SABOTAGE" a.k.a.  Let Jen Hamblin Spend 5 Minutes with the Kentucky Basketball Team

Jen Hamblin is a good friend of mine and I love her as much as the next person, but anyone who went to Transy knows that when Jen Hamblin is around....anything can happen. Bad luck/trouble just seems to follow this precious little angel of a child. She's the wild card of all wild cards and I have never been around Jen Hamblin when something crazy hasn't happened. I have a feeling she would somehow manage to sabotage the Kentucky Basketball Team. 

8 )   Let Joker Phillips Coach UK (yes, the basketball team)

"Hey Terrence Jones, instead of cramming a dunk down their throats from an inch away from the basket, let's give the ball to Jarrod Polson and let him take a shot from the opposite end of the court. That'll work. Also, can we kick field goals in here?"

Transy Halloween >

Posted by Ally Tucker on October 30, 2011 at 7:50 PM Comments comments (3)

I don't know if you've heard but Transy's men's basketball team is playing the University of Kentucky this week. Transy may lose by 312 points and UK may set the record for most dunks ever in the history of life, but I can tell you one thing that Transy would not lose to UK in: HALLOWEEN!

You may be saying to yourself, "you can't play someone in Halloween. There are no winners and losers in Halloween."  Well, you are only saying that because you didn't go to Transy. If you went to Transy, you are well aware that Halloween is more than just a holiday. It is a competition. Having the most creative costume is important. Almost as important as getting Environmental Science for May Term, or scoring one of the 3 parking spots right in front of the Forrer elevator, or getting to the 1780 before Aida runs out of the cheese sticks. (If none of those things make any sense to you, than you probably didn't go to Transy. And you probably dressed up as a "slutty teacher" or a "slutty crayon" for halloween). 

Halloween weekends at Transy were always epic. I hate the word epic. I think people use it way too much. I also think that saying "epic fail" after anything is an automatic sign to me that we probably won't be good friends. But for once in my life, the word epic is exactly what I need. 

I'm sure that Halloweens at Transy were cool before my freshman class arrived, but I like to think that my freshman class of soccer players (boys and girls) took it to another level. We started a little tradition among the soccer teams between each grade. The freshmen girl soccer players would do a group costume to try to "out-do" the freshmen boys, and the sophomore girls, and so on and so forth. Not only did we take this competition very seriously, but we also were SUPER SECRETIVE about whatever our group costume was going to be. We would spend hours scheming up the best ideas and trying to guess what the other groups costume was going to be based on what color fabric we saw hiding under their beds. 

Our main Halloween goals:

  • To have the most creative costumes
  • To have the most creative "idea"
  • To actually make our own costumes, not just buy the already-made costumes at the stores
  • To stay away from the stereotype that "Halloween is just an excuse for girls to dress like hoes as provocatively as possible."

As the years passed by, the tradition of the best/most creative group costumes seemed to trickle down to other groups outside of the soccer team. I'm not sure that we left Transy a better place after we graduated, but I would at least like to think that we left Transy with a few less "slutty police-women" or "Tom Cruise from Risky Business" (voted #1 lamest/most overdone costume by...me)  costumes.

(take note people, this is NOT creative or even funny....plus we've all seen at least 5 people dressed in this costume at every party)...

Just in case you don't believe me that Transy Halloween >  (everything), I've gone through some old photo albums to find some of the most memorable group costumes of all time. "The proof is in the pudding":

(Mario Kart....relax folks, I was 21....and a half). 

(Boys soccer team as the X-Men)

(Girls soccer team as the Toy Story gang)

((soccer girls as American Girls Dolls)

(soccer girls as Trolls)


(Family Game Night)

(This deserved a solo shot)

(Muppet Babies)

(Fellow blogger Kristen Geil getting in on the action as an Awkward Family Photo)

(And her Robot Pony costume....download the song....it'll change your life)

(My Little Ponies)

(Best picture ever....My Little Ponies again)

(Where's Waldo?)

(More Where's Waldo?)

(I can't put the actual name of this costume for fear of offending people, but let's just say that they were poking fun at what most girls wear for Halloween)


(Twitter.....glad to see the current Transy kids are still goin' strong...)

(Current Transy soccer girls carrying on the tradition as the Angry Birds)

I don't care what anyone else says.... 4 > 2 and....

TRANSY HALLOWEEN > __(fill in the blank with anything at all)_______

Well, except for maybe this....

And this baby dressed as Demarcus Cousins...

Eugene- One of Transy's Best Kept Secrets

Posted by Kristen Geil on May 25, 2011 at 12:50 AM Comments comments (1)

So I graduate this Saturday.

Peace out Transy.

I honestly haven't been thinking about it too much, but it started to hit home this past Sunday with my last sorority event ever. I know it's not surprising that people leave town and move on after graduation, but our class in particular is getting out like Lexington's on fire. I have friends leaving for Washington DC, Boston, Thailand, New Zealand, and Louisville- all within one week after graduation. Would it kill you all to ease me into this separation a little bit?

Today, however, I faced one of the hardest goodbyes I will have this week: I ate lunch for the last time in the Rafskellar, the campus sandwich/wings place. 

Layson, eating alone.

I can't lie, when I first came to Transy I absolutely hated "The Raf." The lines were outrageous, and at the time I preferred the greater variety that the cafeteria had to offer. Plus, the sandwich lady was super slow and super grumpy. 

But this year, a perfect storm of magical events happened to make the Raf my only lunch destination. In fact, I ate every lunch there except for one- Thanksgiving lunch in the cafeteria (and I regret that decision).

(Not an actual picture, but my meal was as uninspiring as this one)

As you old Transy grads can tell from the picture above, the Raf got a glamorous makeover. I like sitting in the booths with just one or two of my friends rather than navigating the crowds and lunchroom politics of the caf. Also, I started to realize that the cafeteria food is gross. 

But most importantly, Eugene started working the sandwich line.

(Not actually Eugene)

I'm not really sure how our friendship started or how we got to casually chatting. But over this year, it has become something that I look forward to each and every day. For those of you who know Layson and me pretty well, you know that we can generally make conversation with a wall. Well, this skill is probably what first got us talking with Eugene and his sandwich-making sidekick, Miss Tammy. From our lunchtime conversations, we know that Eugene is a big sports fan (albeit a Louisville and Miami Heat guy- only bad thing about him, I swear) and that his favorite music is jazz, with a little bit of rap thrown in. We've learned that he's a huge supporter of Transy sports and makes it a priority to go to basketball and baseball/softball games. We know that he lives near Transy and he likes going to Thursday Night Live. He loves hearing about all of our adventures and supported us all throughout our Amazing Race audition process, constantly telling us he would watch the show if we were on there. 

These are just superficial likes and dislikes, though. Eugene genuinely cares about us and our well-being. He knows our sandwich orders by heart. He serenaded me with a jazzy rendition of "Happy Birthday" on my 21st. Before we went on spring break, he gave us a serious "Be Careful" speech that sounded like it could have come from my mother. He asked us for a souvenir too, which we gladly brought back- a red baseball cap, which he wears from time to time. In perhaps the most "single girl" moment of my life, I made him a Valentine declaring that he "wrapped up my heart" or some other horrible sandwich pun, and he proudly displayed it behind the counter for a solid month. When he found out that we were graduating this year, he actually got really upset and for the past couple weeks has made us promise to come back and visit (which I will gladly do). Whenever he's seen me dressed up from my usual Norts/T-shirt Raf attire, he's complimented me with a "You look real nice today." And his face lights up when it's our turn in line. No joke.

It's not just me who loves him. Judging by the amount of "Bye Eugene! Have a great summer!" I heard at lunch today, I'm pretty sure every Transy student to frequent the sandwich line feels this way. At Greek Family Feud, he was one of the five who made the list for "Faculty/Staff Member You Want to Call Mom/Dad," and for good reason. Eugene may have a gold tooth, but he also has a heart of gold.

So that's why I'm naming him a Lexington's Best Kept Secret, although I guess it's more of a Transy's best kept secret. Layson and I said goodbye to Eugene today and were lucky enough to get a picture (it was Eugene who insisted on the stairs for a classier pose than behind the sandwich counter).

We'll see him at graduation where he'll work the reception, and don't be surprised if I introduce him to my family.  Eugene, I love you and I'll miss you next year. 

The Return of the WaHo All-Star Challenge

Posted by Richmond Bramblet on April 20, 2011 at 10:30 AM Comments comments (2)

The eating contest of all eating contests will return this May as Tucker's Tales sponsors the 2011 WaHo MVP All-Star Challenge.  A May tradition unlike any other, the WaHo challenge has only occurred twice but has two very famous names as winners.  Below are the rules and the history of the WaHo MVP All-Star Challenge.  Continue to check back, as the current participants will continue to be updated!

The Rules 

These are on the rules on the offical "MVP All-Star Challenge" competitor contract (you read that correctly).

1. Competitors will eat the Waffle House MVP All-Star Breakfast

2. Competitors can order the food in whatever manner they want as long as it contains:

     a. 1 Waffle

     b. 2 Eggs

     c. Grits

     d. 3 pieces of bacon or 2 pieces of sausage

     e. 2 pieces (4 triangles) of toast

     f. Hash browns

     g. Glass of orange juice

3. Competitors may order more than one beverage, however they must finish everything they order before time can stop.

4. Competitors will sit at their own table, if not possible, then they will eat head to head.

5. Competitors may not start eating until all food is on the table.

6. Each competitor will have someone as a designated timer for them. Time will start when the respective competitor picks up their first piece of food or utensil.

7. When a competitor decides they have finished, their timer will stop the the watch and an neutral judge will decide if the meal has been finished.

8. The competitor who eats the MVP All-Star breakfast in the fastest manner will be declared the winner and the 2011 Undisputed WaHo MVP Champion.

9. Trash talking and Inappropriate gestures are both legal and encouraged.

10. If any competitor is caught scraping food under the table or giving it to a "designated eater," they will be disqualified.

11. "Reversal of Fortune" Clause: If one competitor vomits during the competition, it will be an automatic disqualification.

All-Star Challenge History


In the during the May Term of my freshman year, a challenge of epic proportions took place.  A battle between "The Ocho" Richmond Bramblet and "The WaHo Goddess" Lucie Hartmann.  The contest was to see who could eat the Waffle House MVP All Star breakfast in the fastest time possible.  After weeks of trash talking and "dry-runs," with a time of 11:13, I reigned supreme.  I was the first ever, Undisputed WaHo All-Star Champion.

Wafflegate Scandal

In the summer of 2005, I was working at iSoldIt, an ebay store on Richmond Road and across the street was Waffle House.  One afternoon, I wanted lunch from Waffle House, and when I got there I couldn't believe what I saw and took this picture:

A worker at Waffle House had stolen the contract we had used for the challenge to make a challenge of their own.  How did I know that this was stolen from our contract?  If you take a look at the upper right hand corner it says "MVP All Star Challenge" The Ocho (my nickname from college, I was good at obscure sports) vs. The WaHo Big Cahonga (Lucie Hartmann had deemed herself the "WaHo Goddess" and Waffle House apparently didn't want to use the word Goddess.)  Waffle House also apparently found it to not be in the best interest for competitors to taunt or use inappropriate gestures. 

From what we can remember, a waitress on the night we did the first competition asked if she could see a contract, and never returned it.  I tried to milk it for what it was worth, at least some free meals, even having someone talk to the owner of the participating Waffle Houses, but never got anything out of it.  I'm still bitter to this day.


My sophomore year, we decided to expand the field to four competitors.  "The Ocho" Richmond Bramblet v. Ally Tucker v. Liz Meredith v. Carl Reuff.  This contest was almost not even a contest as our fearless leader, Ally Tucker smashed the competition with a time of around eight minutes.  If anyone reading this knows the official time, let me know please!


Five years later the WaHo MVP All-Star Challenge makes its return.  While no competitors have been named, with the platform of Tucker's Tales, I imagine we will have the best competition yet.  Now, I would like to see between 4-8 competitors this year.  The first spots are open to any Tucker's Tales contributor that would like to participate, then we will expand the field to readers.

Current Participants

1) Ally Tucker

2) Toni Cannon

Get excited, because the WaHo challenge is returning.  Write in the comments if you want to participate and we will start filling the slots!

Absurd Campus Sing Awards

Posted by Ally Tucker on April 4, 2011 at 7:55 PM Comments comments (9)

After watching all of the 2011 Campus Sing videos, as a Campus Sing enthusiast from back in my day--I felt compelled to hand out some awards. And don't worry...if the above picture brings back fond memories, nightmares, or piques your curiosity--we will eventually post some old campus sing videos so you can see why a picture such as that was ever taken of me. 

WIthout further ado, my "Absurd Campus Sing Awards." I hope no one gets offended. They are all in good fun and each sorority/fraternity/MFI (if ya don't know what that means...you obviously didn't go to Transy and you just will wonder for all of time) did a great job! Congrats to all.

(**Editor's Note: At the time of writing this article, the Pikes and KA's had not been posted yet. I will add awards for them later.....if they deserve them)

Best Entrance- Phi Mu's Circus Entrance
Best Ending- Indy Girls - The MFI girls always find a way to kill it with a clever ending. Props.
Best Actual Dancing- Tri Delta- All I have to say is that times have changed since I was a campus singer and thank God I never had to do some of those body rolls....yikes
Best Use of Suspenders- Phi Mu - Always a good choice ladies.
Why Are 90 People Standing in the Back Looking Bored Award- Chi Omega
Most Likely To Make the Professor Judges Uncomfortable: Tri Delta & Phi Mu's "Peacock" dance (Peacock? Really....just like my Mom says when I call her MOTHER TUCKER..."I know what you're insinuating!"
Best "I Have A Job But I'm Required to Participate" Award: Tri Delta I was literally LOL-ing when I watched the girls holding the clouds in the background. Hilarious and probably not intentionally funny at all. Even when I was there--we had "Cloud Holder" types. Loved it. 
Most Enthusiastic/Supportive of Other Groups: Chi Omega  I have always really found it cool how they clap along and cheer at the good parts. They make everyone feel like they are Lady Gaga
Speaking of Lady Gaga...Best Make-Up: Chi Omega
Best "Surprise We Included This Song" Song: Tri Delta The last song "You Make My Dreams Come True" was a precious ending to the theme
Best Overall Theme: Phi Mu- I thought the circus/freaks theme was actually the most clear-cut and best executed...with that said...
The "Probably A Few Minutes Too Long" Award- Phi Mu I have to admit, even when I was at Transy, the Phi Mu's always went a bit on the long side with their routines. 10 minutes is pushing it. In contrast...
"Less is More" Award- Tri Delta  6 minutes...perfect. I didn't get bored and the songs switched at a good pace.....although....
"Too Little Is Not Enough" Award- Phi Tau - I left the room to check on my laundry and when I got back the routine was over. 4 minutes is probably not quite enough.
Best Use Of Random Guy Standing Without Moving: Pikes
Most Clever Performance: Pikes Well done. Nailed it. 
"You Might Have a Future in Stripping" Award- Tri Delta Seriously, I don't know how you guys got girls such as Kristen Geil  (fellow blogger, what up girl?) to pull off such moves. Deja' Vu...amateur night. Just sayin'....
Most Awkward Moment- Phi Tau Dream Girls Chant It just felt a little forced for me. That's all.
Favorite Solo: Phi Tau's Scottie McKelway Forget the John Wall Dance or the Dougie. I'm gonna hit my "Scottie" next time I'm at the club
Most Embarrassing Performance I've Ever Seen: KA......yikes
Precious For Trying Award: Jasi Flynn Apparently Jasi was the one in front of the KA's giving them the cues....I give her credit...she tried. And it was kinda precious. 
I Hope You Get Paid For This Award: KA Rose Court
The "I Own Campus Sing Award and I Don't Care Who Knows It Award"- The star Sig (who I will lovingly refer to from now on as "Sir Gaga") I really have no clue who that guy is....but you all know who I'm talking about. He stole the show. 100%. I hope he's half as awesome as I think he is after watching that performance. I bow down to you sir. Brilliant. 
MVP: Holly Milburn- Holly....my friend, I laughed really hard the whole time I watched your all's routine and it was all because of you. Practice pays off, but not practicing also pays off because that was so entertaining. Love you Holly Pat!

Other Random Campus Sing Musings/Things That Have Not Changed Over Time:

- Is it just me or does every sorority have at least 2-3 girls who can do some kind of cartwheel or some kind of flip? I used to think it was really neat, but now it's almost expected and just as average as a kick line....speaking of kick lines....
- I thought this was going to be the 1st campus sing I had ever seen that did not use a kick line. In fact, I prayed that it would end without a single one. AOPi....you just had to go and do a damn kick line, didn't you? My advice for future Campus Singers....NEVER DO A KICK LINE. 
- I love picking out the "Easy Dances" and the "Hard Dances" that the groups do who split up (aka not everyone dances each dance). You can spot them a mile away. I was always volunteering for the "easy dance" seeing as I had no formal dance training (Miss Jill, my tap/jazz/ballet instructor from 1st grade might disagree). I have love for the non-dancers. I also have love for the extreme dance enthusiasts and experienced dancers in each group. The 1 dance randomly thrown in is always like 85x faster than every other dance in the routine. 
- Speaking of varying levels of experience.....there's always a few girls in the front who flat out "go after it." They hit so hard and dance their guts out. Unfortunately, no one else around them is hitting half as hard or on the same pace....so they stand out a bit. But it's fun to watch nonetheless. In contrast, there's always the few girls in the back who the girl in charge of making up the dances probably hates (that was me...sorry Betsy May). These girls rarely know what move comes next and they are always 2-3 seconds behind. Sometimes they throw a hand in the air when everyone else is "cheerleader posing with their head down." (Holly Milburn, you were awesome. Did I mention that?)
- Now the Sigs have always been the unique ones of the fraternities because they have always done a creative dance routine. All I have to say is that they never disappoint and I always love the creativity they put in. Their finest moment this year was "Total Eclipse of the Heart" as a song choice and the strangely emotional "You'll Be In My Heart" song. Why did I feel a twinge of emotion at that point in the show? 
- Ribbon Dancing is always a good choice. Bravo Phi Mu, bravo. 
-Also, I want to give a shoutout to the Indy girls who have figured out the formula to the most entertaining style of performance in Campus Sing. They don't just do a dance team/cheerleading routine. They throw in some random tricks, stunts, cool stuff. Watching 50-60 girls (or guys) all doing the same interpretive dance moves can get a little boring, but the Indy's have found a way to include a wider variety of things. The other sororities have started to follow that lead and have started incorporating more of that kind of stuff in their routines as well. Keep it up people!

OVERALL WINNER IN MY MIND: A O PI for one reason and one reason only.....They wore Jorts. That is all. 

Transylvania Campus Sing 2011

Posted by Richmond Bramblet on April 3, 2011 at 11:45 PM Comments comments (2)

As promised, this is the location of all of the campus sing videos that were shot today.  Hang tight as all of the videos are currently in transit to YouTube, so you don't have to email Tucker anymore asking where they'll be.  I'll post on Facebook, Twitter, and whatever social media site when the video's start to make their way online.  I'm hoping to have them right here by the time you wake up.  You can blame Insight internet for the delay...

Indy Women

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Delta Delta Delta

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Phi Mu

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Alpha Omicron Pi

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Chi Omega

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Delta Sigma Phi

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Kappa Alpha Order

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Phi Kappa Tau

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Pi Kappa Alpha

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Formerly Known As

Coming Tonight

Water Wars Belly Flop 2011 - Thoughts and Concerns

Posted by Richmond Bramblet on March 31, 2011 at 7:40 PM Comments comments (3)
Hello All,

As I stated in a previous post, I was unable to be at the 2011 Delta Delta Delta Water Wars competition last night.  I was however here (well at Bogarts in Cincinnati):

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(Actual footage from the show... I didn't take it though...)

However, I had one of my student workers videotape the Belly Flop competition and the result is featured below:

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All in all, my open letter proved to do nothing!  As soon as the guys took the board, it was back to the freak show.  Someone is going to get hurt trying to do something fancy.  Especially Dan!  I cringe every time I watch his part (and that has nothing to do with the speedo).

Laura and Sarah - These belly flops were hands down the best two I've seen in a few years.  It seemed as though Fletcher took the advice in my last blog post at put it to use.  I gave Laura my blessing on her 1 1/4 with a full twist, and she rocked it out.

Honorable Mention: Nick Lawson - Lawson really tried to get as much height as he could, but with his large frame, trying to get horizontal after taking a really high jump is a tough task.  I commend him on his effort though!

Stop Folding!: There were some attempts that should have been really good, but the fact that they folded in the end made the attempts forgettable.

High Dive:  If you are going to sneak up to the high dive to do a belly flop, make sure you make it count.  On the raw footage you can hear the announcer go, "Hey, what are you doing up there?" Could have stolen the show, but the flopper wanted just the attention and not take the risk for the reward that would go with it.

HUH?!?!?!: Danny Niehaus - Danny had clearly been watching too many Dunk Contests in the last two weeks, and put up maybe the most absurd belly flop attempt I've ever seen.  At no point in your rambling, incoherent attempt were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational flop. Everyone in this room is now dumber for watching it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. (If he had pulled it off, I definitely would have laughed and given him at least a 7)

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That is all from this year's Water Wars.  If someone can let me know how much was raised so I can put it in my YouTube video description, I would appreciate it.

Up Next: Campus Sing (I'm hosting for my 4th year in a row)

How Life Would Be Different If I Hadn't Gone to Transy

Posted by Brandon Daulton on March 26, 2011 at 9:35 PM Comments comments (7)

Nice little photo...and caption.

It's no secret, Transylvania University is a unique, unique institution.  And I think all the time about how our lives would be different if we had gone elsewhere.  Some good, some bad.  But here is my list!  I dare say you Transy folk can relate.  You people who didn't go there probably don't care to read this.  But if you clicked this far, you might as well.

1. I wouldn't be socially awkward.

To this day, I can be in a social setting in Lexington, and I can point out the Transy kids.  And guess what?  People could point out me and my friends when we were at Transy.  When I was in college, and even now when I go out with my college friends, we pretty much just band together in a corner and don't really talk to anyone else.  Maybe we're a little bit elitist.  OK, if I'm being honest, we're just socially awkward.  And I blame Transy for that.  Why?  Because there was never a class where we saw an unfamiliar face.  There was never a time walking on campus when we saw someone we didn't recognize...and if we did, we sounded the alarms, screamed CODE RED and picked up a red phone so DPS would immediately respond to the scene to apprehend an intruder.  

Therefore, when we went anywhere social with people who (God forbid) didn't go to Transy, we pretended other people didn't exist.  And sadly (though I'm trying to get better), that's kinda what I still do, at least when I'm with my Transy group.  

Another example of this is tolerance for loud music/late nights.  I remember in Miami our Junior year for Spring Break, Shauna Case (her new last name not mentioned to protect her identity) was set to compete in the Senor Frogs pudding wrestling contest (turns out, against a girl twice her size).  The problem was, the contest didn't even begin until 4 am.  So around 2:00, all the Transy kids start petering out.  Before I knew it, we were all on the couches outside the restrooms, in the back of the club, some laying down, and some (Meg Coors) even sleeping.  She looked so angelic laying there, music blasting, and cuddled up snoozing at Senor Frogs.  Shauna didn't win, and I'm not even sure any of us were still awake at that point to see it.

I also remember numerous times at various establishments when we were tempted to ask them to turn down the music because it was "too loud."  I guess we just weren't the party-or-die type people like those who went to other schools.  Unless you're like Ashwin who would "rather be partying."  (EDITOR'S NOTE: I'M TRYING TO ROUND UP THE PHOTO FOR THAT QUOTE) (Editor's Note #2: Found it)

My point is that at a bigger school, people are always crossing paths with someone new.  You get used to it.  At Transy, you already know everyone, or at least those you care to know.  And then there are the people playing Dance Dance Revolution in the Clay/Davis Lobby...............and all of a sudden I feel slightly less socially awkward.

2. I would be a doctor.


Or at least I would have taken more than 1/4 of a semester of Biological Interactions.  I really did think I was gonna be pre-med though.  I took Calculus 1 my first semester, and Biological Interactions my second.  Correction: 1/4 of my second semester.  I thought it was really hard.  I had no idea how to study.  My high school Honors Biology class consisted of watching AKC dog shows, the movie "Dune" (I have NO idea why), as well as Alfred Hitchcock's "Birds."  

That is SERIOUSLY all I remember about high school biology.  That said, I don't know why on God's green earth I thought I was going to be pre-med.  But I sure did have that in my head.  I did go back and forth to physical therapy as well.  But that all went out the window after my first year of college.  My first hint should have been my big fat D- in Calc 1.  But no, I thought I would just go ahead with it and start on my "pre-med curriculum" (which I had no idea what that even meant at the time) and take Bio when all the other pre-med jerks had already knocked that AND chemistry out in their first semester.  Thanks for letting me know guys!  You could have saved me a whole of of time.  

Then, I remember some of those nerds having the nerve to say "you know all the pre-med people already took Bio, don't you?"  Don't judge me, science nerd.  As for me, my first Bio test grade was somewhere in the neighborhood of 50% and I peaced out.  But sure enough, many those same people who judged me from their scientific pedastals were crying at Dr. Csuhai's feet begging to stay in the "pre-med" curriculum, while I was busy analyzing (psychobabble for judged) THEM.  In the mean-time, I had settled nicely into my useless-unless-you-become-a-professor-or-psychologist Psychology courses. The point is that Transy has this really cool, unofficial process where they "weed out" the weak pre-med students.  Maybe at a different (easier) school, I could have gotten my feet wet learned what I should have already learned in high school, and would be a doctor or a physical therapist right now.  

PS. You'll be happy to know I got a B in Chemistry 104 at Somerset Community College.  That was my science credit in college.  Somewhere, I dare say some of those pre-med rejects are still crying in their petri dishes.

3. I couldn't have walked to Rupp Arena.

Crap, posted the wrong photo.  This is from when I walked to the gun and knife expo in Lexington Center, also very cool.

BEST THING ABOUT GOING TO TRANSY AS A UK FAN.  There was nothing better than getting out of swim practice on a random Tuesday, grabbing a pizza, sub, or 7 Gatorades from the 1780, meeting up with a friend and strolling down Broadway to historic Rupp Arena, chanting C-A-T-S all the while (not really, but that's more exciting than just walking, for the purposes of a blog post).  It was the best of both worlds.  Transy and all its.......Transy-ness, and Kentucky Basketball 4 blocks away.  And gun/knife expos.  And monster truck pulls. Monday Night Raw.  Disney on Ice.  Justin Bieber Concerts. 

I've said too much.

4. I wouldn't have been in a fraternity.

I don't know if this really happened in big school fraternities, but I'm just going to assume it did.  Although when UK won Friday night, I did secretly wish I could be on State Street amidst some variation of the above situation.  There's always next weekend...

Fraternities at big schools seem sorta like you have to sell your soul.  My friends that were in them, while they seemed to have a (very) good time, it was almost like that was their entire identity.  Plus I just wasn't the type at that time to move in a week early and throw myself into the middle of a week of social events with people I didn't know (OK, so maybe the socially awkward thing wasn't TOTALLY a product of Transy, but Transy didn't help).

5. I probably wouldn't have lived in a dorm for very long, if at all.

Transy is pretty lenient on the on-campus social life.  Let me rephrase that...it USED TO BE pretty lenient.  I don't know what it's like now, but I hear they've tightened the reins a litte. Seriously, we got away with a lot of stuff my freshman year.  Then, by the time I was a senior, they had started to crack down on "hall parties," (seriously, you young folk have no idea) and they even took away our bid day (again, while I'm sure you guys find a way to get around the rules, it was anything goes back in the day).  I'm pretty sure the actual dorms at UK (from the ones I saw) were relatively tame.  When I visted friends, it was ghost-town-like.  I never thought I would like living in a dorm, but turns out, Transy dorm life was pretty awesome.  One time, someone ripped a sink out of the wall.  If I'd been at a big school, I never would have had that experience.  Because I either would have just stayed in my room all the time (remember where I am right now: socially awkward, not in a fraternity, struggling through those pre-med classes, not going to basketball games), or I would have moved off campus altogether and...probably had the same lame existence.  

6. I never would have spent the night in a tomb with a dead botanist.

Let's be honest.  I didn't do that crap anyway.  Creepy, and kinda weird.  Plus, i went in there once, and it was really cold.

There are so many other quirky things about Transy that I never would have gotten to experience.  Letha, Ada, "Raf Week," T-Day Ball, REAL bid days, Back Circle, the grand ribbon cutting of the Beck Center steps (remember that?  you probably don't - I'm OLD), Jazzman's cafe, the renovation of the Raf, just kidding, I had to endure the wooden planks, musty smell, and dim lighting for my entire 4 years (What about the sweaty sub maker, the lady who would say 'WHAT ARE WE DOIN HERE OR TO GO WHITE OR WHEAT' whilst wiping her brow sweat with her forearm?  Was she still in the Raf after I graduated?)

Also, one time I got to see Jason Taylor and President Shearer shake hands, and, neither one of them knowing what to do next, go in for THE MOST AWKWARD, OUT-OF-SYNC HUG OF ALL TIME.  Seriously.  President Shearer went in for the hug, but Jason resisted, then Shearer got the hint, but not before Jason had already started to go in for it.  All the while, their hands remain grasped in a tight handshake.  

It was one of my top 5 moments at Transy.  And let's be honest...I never would have gotten that, or any of the other things on this list, had I gone to school anywhere other than Transy.

^Used to be a whorehouse.  Cool!  Go Pioneers!!!1!!1!!

An Open Letter to Water Wars 2011 Belly Flop Participants

Posted by Richmond Bramblet on March 25, 2011 at 12:20 AM Comments comments (2)

Dear Water Wars 2011 Belly Flop Participants,

For the second time in seven years, I'll be missing Water Wars this year.  I double booked myself and will be in Cincinnati for a concert.  That being said, I will be paying very close attention to Water Wars, and someone is going to video tape the belly flop contest this year for me.  Before I address this years contest, let me give you some background on my belly flop experience.

I crowned myself King of the Belly Flop in the winter of 2005, my freshman year of college.  It was a very different time in the Tri-Delta Water Wars Belly Flop competition.  Two members from each organization were allowed to participate, and the men were required to go from the 3-meter board.  Women didn't have to go off the 3-meter, and only one was brave/crazy enough to do it.  I will always consider Cole Adams as "Queen of the Belly Flop."

I went first between myself and Travis Graves (the 2004 champion) as the KA representative.  Beforehand, Joe Wiseman gave me some words of wisdom, telling me I was going to be in big trouble if I folded before I hit the water.  I went up to the board, jumped off and did a full twisting belly flop.  I swear to you, I got so much height that I had enough time to look over at Joe in midair, wink, and then spread my arms back even more before I hit.  *WHAM* My head never went underwater, and the place went nuts, receiving the very coveted "10+" scores from the judges and ultimately winning the competition.

However I will contest that I wasn't the best that night.  Travis Graves went after me, jumping higher than me, tucking into a ball, and then at the very last moment opened into the belly flop position.  It may have been one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.  The sound of the smack was perfect, great vertical trajectory... It was PERFECT.  But I still won...

In 2006, the Water Wars committee decided to cut back to one representative from each organization, and I took a back seat to Travis, who I had felt was robbed the year before by me.  Travis won, again, with a PERFECT belly flop.

I was also absent from the 2007 competition because I was at the Bluegrass Mountain Conference swim meet.

Finally in 2008, I made my return to Water Wars to solidify my reign as "King of the Belly Flop."  I had been diving for almost three years and I had a new trick up my sleeve.  I had prepared all week to do this dive off of the three meter until Betsy May told me that we were no longer allowed to compete off the high dive.  Distraught, I came up with a new plan.  I walked up to the end of the board, hushed the crowd for the amazing sight they were about to see, and bounced on the board 3-4 times (Betsy was trying to get me to stop bouncing over the microphone).  As I left the board, I pulled off a full twisting, reverse somersault to my stomach.  I found the water and like my first year, my head never went underwater.

As you can tell by my splotchy chest, It was a pretty good belly flop:

I once again etched my name into the metaphorical record books and solidified myself as "King of the Belly Flop."  However, I didn't know that what I had just done, would ruin the belly flop competition for years to come.

From then on, for the guys, it was no longer about trying to do a quality belly flop.  It had become a spectacle of who can do the hardest trick into a bellyflop.  Gainers, "misty-flips" (not a diving term, thanks Tony Hawk), it became almost embarrassing.  If you watch the video of last year's competition (below), you can see exactly what I'm talking about.  I even fell in to that trap, trying to use too many gimmicks, and ultimately, performed a subpar flop.

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The one belly flop that stands out is Laura Clark's (the winner) because, while against most of my rules, it was well executed, she knew what she was doing and not just trying to throw something silly.

In pro wrestling, when a performer leaves the business, they have matches with up-and-comers and lose to them so that the rookie can look better by defeating a great veteran.  That action is called a "rub," a nod from the veteran saying that the rookie will be great one day too. 

While not scripted like wrestling, I would like to say that Laura got the "rub" that day by defeating me, because now at Transy she is known by all as the reigning belly flop champion.  People are already talking about what she is going to do this year, and let me tell you she has some tricks up her sleeve.


I said all of that to say this, participants of the 2011 belly flop competition:  GO BACK TO BASICS.

If I were you, I would follow these rules in trying to win the belly flop competition outright:

1) Unless you have practiced it, DO NOT FLIP - this is only going to result in you looking stupid.

2) Do not run on the board - most people try and sprint and jump as far out as possible so that they just glide across the water when they land.  The slower you go, the higher you have a chance of going.

3) Get some ups - Travis Graves' flop was perfect because he went slow, jumped high and achieved almost a perfect vertical trajectory.  If you aren't going to try that, don't waste the judges time.

4) DO NOT FOLD - If I were a judge, and someone's arms hit before their stomach/chest, I'd give them a 0.  By taking all the impact on your arms, it lessens the pain, which is so worth the effort you put into the flop.  The Redder The Better, I always say.

5) If you do not have the ability to make your body horizontal, DO NOT COMPETE - I believe this is self explanatory.  It is a waste of time, especially when people want to see some awesome flops.

Participants, I'm asking you, NAY, I'm BEGGING you, bring this contest back down to reality and put on a show.  10 participants, 10 quality belly flops.  I hope you do everything to make this competition about the flop and not about gimmicks or trickery.  Make sure that all of the hard work that Cole, Travis and I put in wasn't all for nothing.


Richmond D. Bramblet

P.S. If someone is reading this that is going to be in the smallest splash competition, stop doing that thing where you sit at the end of the board and lower yourself into the water.  That isn't what the competition is about.  Do a jump, or a dive, or anything other than that.  PLEASE!!!!!!!!