“I assure you, Mr. Malfoy, this is just a routine visit.” Hermione Granger sighed deeply as she ignored the disgusted look on the man in front of her. “This really isn't to inconvenience you.”


“You could fool me,” he said icily. “My wife's body isn't cold in the ground and already you want to search the Manor.”


“Your wife was interred three weeks ago,” Hermione pointed out. “Scorpius is off at Hogwarts. It won't take that long and--”


She paused as a strange sound came from somewhere in the Manor. Lucius whirled around at the sound.


“Has the Ministry taken to breaking into homes if not granted access immediately?” Lucius snapped at her.


“That's none of the Ministry's doing, I assure you,” she said in a stiff voice as she pulled her wand out.


“You think an odd noise is worth pulling your wand out for?” Lucius sneered.


“I would think with your background you would, to.” Hermione gave him a sideways look as his eyebrows twitched and he pulled his wand out as well.


They crept through the manor until they neared the large aviary that was attached to the back of the house. There were small creaks and sounds that made them stop and look at each other for a moment.


Hermione poked her head around the corner and her mouth turned into a small 'o' of surprise.


“What? What?” Lucius asked, his nerves obviously on edge.


“It's a police box,” Hermione said in a bewildered tone.


“What?” Lucius peered around the corner. “Like the phone booth to the Ministry?”


“Not quite. Will you stop it? I'm not here to haul you away.”


Lucius snorted as he put his wand away and approached the box. He knocked on the side of it. “Hello?”


“Anyone answer?” Hermione asked curiously.


“No.” Lucius pulled his wand out again. “Do you know what it is?”


“No,” Hermione admitted. “I've never seen anything like it.”


“Do you think it could be some sort of Vanishing Cabinet?” Lucius asked as he gave the box a poke. A spark snapped the wand from his hand and caused it to skitter across the stone floor. “Ow!” He sucked at his thumb as he went to retrieve his wand. “It fights back.”


“Might just be some sort of security spell,” Hermione pointed out.


“Secure from what? A stray canary?” Lucius' eyes went up to the small birds that were perched overhead, looking down curiously at the scene below.


“Maybe it repels poo?” Hermione said cheekily.


“There's no need to be nasty,” Lucius chided her. “And the room is charmed to vanish all debris that comes within seven feet of the floor. Even if they all let go at once, there's no danger to anyone or anything in the room.”


“Really?” Hermione asked, sounding genuinely impressed. “That's a neat little trick.”


“You'd be surprised how fast goals are achieved at moments of need,” Lucius snorted. “I got married in this room.”


“Really? I'd have thought you were the giant affair type,” Hermione said as she gently prodded the box with her wand. Lucius scowled when it didn't shock her.


“Believe it or not, Narcissa has-- had terrible stage fright,” Lucius said as he ran his hand along a smooth blue panel. “Thought she'd faint dead away if there were more than a few people.”


Hermione chuckled. “I know the feeling. I was a Weasley once.”


Lucius seemed to stiffen at this. “Yes, you were.”


“It does get easier, you know,” Hermione said from the other side of the box. “Then you'll find yourself feeling guilty that you aren't feeling as sad as you did the week before.


“I'll have to take your word for it.”


“You should. I think I need to call in the Department of Mysteries,” Hermione said, quickly changing the subject.


“What if something comes out of it in the meantime?”


“We run?” Hermione suggested as she pulled a small scrap of paper out of her robes. She whispered into the end of her wand before pointing it at the paper. Lucius watched words form on the page before it folded itself into a small bat. It fluttered away from her, and to Lucius' surprise it went right through the wall as if it wasn't there.


“What was that?” Lucius asked, his voice full of curiosity.


“Experimental phase paper,” Hermione explained. I was playing around with some stuff last year and discovered it by accident. “Won't go through everything, but it's still handy.”


“How do you discover something like that by accident?”


“I was trying to make temporary invisibility paper. I threw a wad at the trash can, and it went through the wall and hit Owens on the side of the head.”


Lucius found himself laughing, in spite of himself. “Well, that explains it.”


“Explains what?” Hermione asked stiffly.


“Why you were always top student and Draco was second when you were at Hogwarts.”


“Draco was always second because he was more worried about impressing others with his actions instead of his head,” Hermione snorted.


“Perhaps he was,” Lucius said in a musing tone. “Got that from his mother.”


Hermione didn't bother to cover up her snort.


“And just what did that sound mean?” Lucius said defensively.


She popped her head from around the other side of the blue box and gave him a withering look. He was about to say something nasty, but suddenly something Narcissa said years ago seemed to return to mock him.


Let him find himself, Lucius. It won't be good if he's so busy impressing you he never figures out where he fits into the world.


“Maybe a little from the Malfoy side,” Lucius conceded with a sulky look about his face.


“I read letters Abraxis Malfoy wrote and the correspondence Brutus Malfoy made with the Ministry.” She came out from behind the box and put her hands on her hips.


“Why are you so interested in my family line?” Lucius demanded, trying to change the subject..


“I'm not specifically,” Hermione retorted, her cheeks darkening. “I did a paper on the history of the Ministry, and Malfoy's kept popping up.”


“Did we?” Lucius asked, astonished. He quickly covered up his expression with a haughty look. “Well, of course we did. Malfoys have always been around to inspire civility in the Wizarding World.”


“You have got to be joking!” Hermione laughed as Lucius furrowed his eyebrows at her.


“What do you mean by that?” Lucius asked coldly.


“Sure Abraxis and Brutus were influential, everyone knows that, but what about all that trouble in between?” Hermione looked at him with disbelief. “Your great-great-great Aunt Heather and her string of brothels? Great-great-great-great-great Grandfather Timothy and all that trouble with the hens? Your great-grandfather and that Muggle girl--”


“I have no idea what you're talking about, but I assure you that my great-grandfather was a fine upstanding--”


“Lovesick maniac that got his girlfriend burned at the stake for writing her name in the sky with stars,” Hermione finished for him. “She was only fourteen.”


Lucius blinked.


“Well, I wouldn't know anything about that,” he said snootily.


“I have a feeling there are a great many things you don't know about,” Hermione sniffed haughtily before she stepped back around the side of the box and out of view.


Lucius felt his mouth drop.


Of all the nerve! That cheeky little Mudblood really does think she knows everything.


“Has anyone ever called you a know-it-all?” Lucius snapped.


“Yes. It was Severus' pet name for me when I was sleeping with him. I thought you knew.” She had a cocky tone to her voice as if she knew perfectly well he did not know.


“What?!” Lucius blurted out.


“Oh, is that something else you didn't know? What a surprise.” She looked around the corner at him, a smirk on her face.


For a moment Lucius' head swam. Severus? Severus with this cheeky little whore? Was she joking?


He felt his arousal building and he swallowed, trying to quell his urges. “Severus tended not to speak of his minor conquests. He didn't want to bore the rest of us with what he'd quickly tired of.”


“I wouldn't call three years 'quickly tired of,'” Hermione snorted. He heard sounds as if she were scraping her wand against the wood of the police box.


Three years? Lucius felt his head reel. He'd been up in this girl for three years and not a peep from him? Gods, what can she do if he wanted to keep this little secret to himself?


“Fancy some danger in your life, Granger? Or do you just like putting out for Death Eaters?” Lucius laughed cynically.


She stepped out from behind the box and leveled a glare at him. “I like it when they cry because they've come so hard it hurts. I like it when they beg. I like it when they pant for more when I--”


“Stop.” Lucius said, putting a hand up as he felt his erection ache beneath his robes. “As I said, my wife hasn't been gone long, and foreplay this soon after her death is in bad taste.”


“Not if no one finds out,” Hermione pointed out as she cocked her head to one side.


It took him three strides to get to her. He roughly grabbed her and pushed her up against the police box, groping a breast with one hand and trying to pull her robes up with the other.


She waved her wand and their clothing was gone, revealing an enormous tattoo of stars, planets, and mystical signs that wound its way up her right leg and disappeared around her back.


“It looks like Severus wasn't the only one into pain, Granger.”


“Shut up, Malfoy and stretch me out with that enormous--” She cried out as he picked her up roughly and found the dip within the soft tissue between her legs. He thrust hard, and she cried out and mashed her lips to his.


He pulled away and growled, and he began to pound into her, her fingers digging into his shoulders and her head thrown back.


She shrieked as she came, and he found himself groaning as she tightened around him.


She gingerly lowered one foot to the stone floor, and when she regained her balance, she roughly shoved him away.


He stumbled backwards, but managed to stay upright. That was when she picked up her wand, and he was slammed into the side of the police box, his legs splayed open, the magic keeping him pinned.


He cried out as her mouth engulfed him and began pumping at his member. When he looked down, he saw she was staring at him, and he was glad the magic was preventing him from grabbing the back of her head and forcing her down on him. Sleeping with a Ministry official could get him into enough trouble, but overstepping his bounds might get him thrown in Azkaban.


The idea of Hermione cackling at him at the Wizengamot and throwing him into prison for not screwing her well enough was too much for him to bear. He growled as he drained himself into her mouth, causing her to pull back and allowing his spunk to shoot over her mouth and breasts.


She looked up at him with her face still dripping[,] and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She waved his wand and he was freed. He felt himself slump to the floor, his legs not strong enough to hold him.


He looked at her and felt himself get aroused again. You're going to regret this tomorrow. You're not a young wizard anymore, a small voice in his head reminded him.


He picked up his discarded wand from the floor and cleaned the both of them off. Then he pounced and wrestled her to the ground. To his annoyance, she giggled at him and squirmed in his arms.


When he finally got her pinned, she was face down, his erection pressing him into her bum and his hands on her wrists. “I should fuck you in the ass for humiliating me, Granger.”


“Oh no! Anything but that!” The cheeky tone to her voice told him she would very much like that indeed. He quickly picked up his wand and waved it at her arms, the stone around them growing up and over them to pin her to the floor. The floor rose under her stomach to raise her butt in the air.


Lucius ran his hand over it before he pulled her open. He prodded at her clit and she began groaning.


“Oh god, what is that?”


“You shouldn't worry about that,” Lucius said as he spread her ass open. He began licking her and she started groaning. He flicked his wand at her and she came. “You should be more worried about what I'm going to do to this tight little ass of yours.”


He flicked his wand so he could have lubricant, and he got to his knees behind her. He thrust into her pussy, causing her to cry out and clench around him.


“But I think I've had enough of that,” Lucius said silkily as he pulled out of her. He began rubbing the head of his cock between her ass cheek, and when she began groaning he began pushing gently. He wasn't at all surprised when she pushed back on him roughly.


“Do you like that?” Lucius asked as he felt his scrotum settle against her when he was all the way in.


“Yes,” she whispered. “Please?”


“Please what?”


“Please make me.”


“Make you what?” Lucius prompted. He was enjoying himself immensely.


“Make me come when you fuck me up the ass.”


Severus did have this one well trained, didn't he? Lucius thought to himself as he pulled out part way and pushed back into her.


“Like this?” Lucius asked innocently as he flicked his wand at her and she came again. His eyes bugged at how tight she felt around him, and he heard her cry out again.


“Enough of this,” Lucius said in what he hoped was a bored tone, but even he could hear the excitement in his voice. He tossed aside his wand and started thrusting into her.


She cried and groaned as she ground against him, but it only angered him. He grabbed her hips and began pounding her as if he were trying to split her in two, and she screamed when she came again.


Finally, he screamed as he spilled out into her, his body spasming as he felt himself drain out.


He slid out of her, falling to his hands and knees beside her. He picked up his wand and cleaned the both of them before charming their clothing back on.


“Already?” Hermione said, her mouth in a pout.


“I don't know how long it will take for the Ministry to get here,” he said, surprising himself by kissing her on the forehead. “Wouldn't want to get in trouble.”


“Suppose so,” Hermione admitted.


They both jumped as the door in the side of the blue box opened. A short man in horrible plaid pants and his black hair in a bowl cut scowled at them. “This isn't Orius II, is it?”


Hermione blinked. “Err... no.”


“Didn't think so.” The man shook his shaggy head and went back into the box, closing the door behind him.


Lucius and Hermione looked at each other open-mouthed as the light on the top of the box began flashing and the strange noise started up again. The box started fading to the pulse of the sound.


When it was finally gone, they looked at each other.


“No one's going to believe this,” Lucius said firmly.


“Then I've got to get back to the Ministry,” Hermione said quickly as she jumped to her feet. “If I just send a message canceling the request, this place will be swarming with Aurors thinking I've been Imperioed.”


“There's a Floo in the den,” Lucius said as he forced his weary body to stand.


“Perfect. Listen, there really never was an inspection so I'm going to have to follow up next week,” Hermione admitted.


“I'll be looking forward to it,” Lucius chuckled.






“Now don't start that again,” she said with a grin on her face.


“Wouldn't dream of it,” Lucius said, his eyes wide with disbelief.


She peered at him suspiciously as he feigned innocence.


“Then I'll see you next week.” She turned to make her way to the Floo, but turned back at the last moment. “Oh, and Malfoy?”


“Yes?” Now he was amused.


“Four drops of Helio Potion, a bar of chocolate, and a Relaxing Charm should do the trick. Otherwise you won't be able to walk tomorrow.”


“I'll keep it in mind.” He grinned as she walked into the adjoining room to use the Floo. “If that's the way all my inspections are going to go from now on, I'll have to keep some on hand.”


She smirked at him, but said nothing as she threw a handful of Floo Powder into the fireplace and disappeared into the green flames.