Welcome To Sprague River, Oregon

Just past the end of the road...turn left....

Sprague River Newsletter

"Your Community Connection"



Newsletter Editor: Linda Bermea

Phone: 533-3490

Email: spraguerivernews@msn.com


Website Version Editor: Tim Henry 

Email: mail@spragueriveroregon.com



 The pictures and images on the front page of this website have been disabled so that the main page can load faster, and due to copyright issues and/or photo releases not being on file. You can get the full version of the newsletter, with all photos, by email by contacting Linda Bermea at the address above.

                                                                                           Thank You! Tim Henry, Website Editor  




The Lastest Newsletter!

Winter Give-A-Way

Are you or someone you know...

  • Doubled up or couch surfing?

  • Sleeping in your car on the street or camping?

  • Living in motels, hotels?

  • Sleeping in transitional or emergency shelter?

  • Or living in a place not meant for humans?

If so then please attend our two hour event where individuals and families will have access to new or gently used winter jackets, blankets, winter hats and gloves. Items will be available to those in attendance while supplies last. There will also be free refreshments.

Event Location:

Sprague River Community Center

Sprague River Highway

Thursday, January 30, 2014

1:00 pm to 3:00 pm

Klamath & Lake Community Action Services will join community partners and volunteers to host the Winter Give-A-Way in Klamath Falls. For more information call: (541) 882-3500 or visit www.klcas.org.

Valentines Day Brunch

When: Saturday, February 15th

Time: 10 am – 12 pm.

Where: Sprague River Community Center

What’s available: quiche, frittata, biscuits and gravy, fruit salad and beverages

(Also available - our delectable candies, including those sinful Truffles!)

Donation: $5/Adults, $3/Children

Sponsored by the Lioness Club of Sprague River!

Homemakers Celebration!!!

We celebrated the new lights and decorations that the Homemakers provided for this year’s Christmas tree. A BIG Thank-you to Randy and his buddy for stringing the new lights for us!!!!

CAT Team Meeting:

Our next meeting is on Saturday, January 18th, 2014, 3:15 pm at the Community Center.

Frank’s Corner:

Next meeting will be January 17, 2014 @ 1:30pm in the Sprague River Community Center.

Wedding Renewal – December 9, 2013

Submitted by: a mystery guest

On December 9, 2013 Mr. and Mrs. Terry Amos of Sprague River renewed their wedding vows to each other. It was a very very nice ceremony. I was there in attendance and was impressed that you greeted all the people that were there, which was great! Thank-you a bunch Mr. and Mrs. Amos, you guys are great as were all your guests.

Chiloquin Open Door

Hello, I would like to introduce myself-My name is Jonathan Neal, I am a Physician Assistant in family practice-

I will be one of our two new medical providers serving at the Chiloquin Open Door on Tuesdays and Fridays- alongside a female Nurse Practitioner covering Mondays and Wednesdays starting in March.

I have worked at Klamath Open Door Family Practice, the sister clinic to Chiloquin Open Door,  for the past 8 years and recently relocated to the Chiloquin area and am looking forward to serving this community. We will be offering a wide array of family practice, women’s health, pediatric, urgent care and in-office surgical procedures for your convenience as a primary care home.  As your primary care home we also  handle referrals to specialists as needed and offer nurse care management for nutrition, diabetes and smoking cessation with Janelle RN.

  Don’t forget, every Wednesday is our dental clinic day, so schedule early and get those teeth in top condition!

We are currently accepting new patients and will do our best to provide you with the medical care that you and your loved ones need.

We have changed our hours and now offer extended hours until 6 pm for those needing later appointments.

We also offer a sliding scale for those without insurance so please stop by and pick up a new patient packet.

Contact Cindy or Penny for more info or if you have further questions:

  Clinic Phone number- 541-783-2292  

Clinic hours- MTWF- 8 am to 6 pm

                         Closed Thursdays

It is time to get back in control of your health- schedule today!

Jonathan Neal MS, PA-C

Chiloquin Open Door Family Practice

103 Wasco Ave

PO Box 695

Chiloquin, OR 97624




Randy Jarvis is generously donating a trip to take you on a fabulous fishing trip on either river

on a date of your choosing, July thru October 2014

Buy raffle tickets for $1.00 each or 6 for $5.00

Drawing will take place May 30, 2014

Trip value $350.00



Contact Sandie for tickets 541-892-2336 

Two Rivers Gallery presents:

Richard Johnson – singer, songwriter, guitarist - In concert at the Chiloquin Community Center.

140 S. 1st Ave., Chiloquin, OR

Join us for an evening of music from the 20’s-60’s, traditional Irish and American folk songs and Richard’s own songs and guitar compositions.

Friday, January 24th 7:30 pm – 9:00 pm

$8/person, advance sales

$10/person, at the door

Buy advance tickets at Two Rivers Gallery, 541-783-3326

Performance donated by Richard as a fundraiser for Two Rivers Gallery. Join with him to help support the local artists of this area.

Quotes and Stories 

Texting For Seniors

Submitted by: Michael Perdue

Answers for Seniors 

Submitted by: Michael Perdue

Questions and Answers from  the Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy.  If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible.  Is that true? Where can it be  found?

A: Yes.  Matthew 14:92: 
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt. ;

Q: I How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless.  It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem.  

Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus 

year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

Household Tips & Tricks and other useful information.

Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)

Submitted by: Frank Quinn 

Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!!

A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!!  (or over 60)

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship... When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 60 I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are plenty to handle.



TUESDAY – January 21 @ 1pm –3pm

THURSDAY – January 23 @ 2pm – 4pm

With attendance, participants will receive a variety of energy saving products and eligible Energy Assistance Clients will receive an additional $25.00 payment toward their Utility Bill.


THURSDAY - January 30 @ 2pm – 5pm

Klamath Assembly of God Church

235 Laguna off Crater Lake Parkway

CALL (541) 882-3500 EXT *8 28

Klamath Lake Community Action Services

2300 Clairmont Drive, Klamath Falls, OR


Just for fun!

Oh Know!!

Submitted by: Dave Burnett

Men Vs. Women Jokes :: #16405
Submitted by: Michael Perdue
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora") because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador") because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.

 To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:  Submitted by: Sal & Diane 

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. Watch 'em Slow Down. 
2. On all your check stubs, write 'For Marijuana'

3. Skip down the street, rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 
5.   Sing Along At The Opera. 
6.  When The Money Comes Out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

7. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives!  They're Loose!'

8.  Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, we are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' 
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:
9.   Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

Requirements for Newsletter Submissions:

All submissions for the Newsletter must be submitted to (received by) Linda Bermea by the 29th and/or the 13th of each month. You may submit by email, phone or by mail: Linda Bermea, 24713 Kootenai Street, Chiloquin, OR 97624. If the publication date falls on a weekend (the 1st or 15th) then the Newsletter will be published on the Friday before.

Copies can be found at Squaw Flats, the Post Office, the Trading Post and the Library.

Receive the Newsletter via Email…

If you’d like to receive the Sprague River Newsletter through Email…. just send an Email to: spraguerivernews@msn.com and you’ll be added to the Email distribution for the Newsletter. You can also use this as a heads-up that a new edition is available. You can then RUN to get a printed copy from our local distribution sources (Squaw Flat Store, the Post Office, Trading Post and the Library).

Ad Placement in the Newsletter

A fee for placing ads is requested to cover expenses of the Newsletter.

Small ads $5/month

Business ads $10/month

Full page ads $20/month

Cash or checks, please make checks payable to

Linda Bermea” and mail to 24713 Kootenai Street, Chiloquin, OR 97624.


Local Services:



Lloyd Long, Jr. owner

(541) 891-0833 "Painting to remember"



Fine Quality Printing



Brochures * Catalogs * Stationery * Forms * Books Posters * Newsletters * Flyers * Postcards etc.

Full Color Copy Center & Fax Service

Quality Printing in a Timely Matter at Competitive Prices!

401 So. 6th St. - Corner Oak & S. 6th

Klamath Falls, Oregon 97601

541.883.3010 • Fax 541.273.1081


For Rent

The Sprague River Community Center is for rent. Need a place for meetings, family reunions, a party, etc. Rates are based on usage and by the hour or day. Use for a fully equipped kitchen or just coffee.

Rates: Without Kitchen use: $10/hr ($30 minimum) With Kitchen use: $15/hr ($45 minimum) All day use, including kitchen: $75

Call Linda Bermea for more information at:

(541) 533-3490

Massage Therapy in Sprague River!

Do you suffer from back pain, neck and head pain, other issues including auto accident injuries and sports injuries? There is help in Sprague River. Call now to schedule an appointment for a healthful massage by Jan Stephens LMT. Times available Wednesdays through Fridays. 541-880-3252 .

Rose Ann Cleveland, EA

Income Tax Preparation

Bookkeeping & Payroll Services

Call for an appointment

(541) 892-5698 or (541) 533-0963

Local Want Ads:

Klamath Honey for Sale

Sprague River area

Quart: $14.00

Pint: $ 9.00

1 lb. squeeze bottle:   $7.00

Call Doug @ 541-591-5517

Klamath Honey for Sale - Sprague River area

Quart: $14.00

Pint: $ 9.00

1 lb. squeeze bottle:   $7.00


Call Doug @ 541-591-5517

Keep Fit and Healthy - This Winter for fewer injuries in the Spring.

Join our low impact exercise class for men and women. The second and fourth Thursday’s from 10 – 11 am at the white building across from the Bridge Connection (the Sunday School Building). These classes are FREE!!! Have questions???? Call Jan Stephens 541 880-3252.

Local Eating & Shopping:

(541) 533-2327

Great food, tacos, burritos,

Delicious HUGE sandwiches

New items often. Try it!

Stop by and check it out !!


Church Services

Sprague River Valley Christian Fellowship (SRVCF)

Pastor: Ron Willis

541 533-2329

Sunday Services: 10:30 am

Friends Community Church

541 533-2595

Sunday Services: 11:00 am

Community Contacts

Bridge Connection

Sharon Quillen 541 274-0317

Community Center

Linda Bermea 541 533-3490

Fire District #3

Allan Moors 541 591-3405

Friends of the Library

Cass Anderson 541 533-3189

Good News Club

Lee Dickerson 541 533-2138


Dianne Canfield 541 533-2757

Library – Sprague River

Joyce Hardman 541 533-2769

Lioness Club

Pauline Middleton

Lions Club

Linda Bermea 541 533-3490


Linda Bermea 541 533-3490

Senior Noon Meals

Carol Firsick 541 533-2273

Sprague River Community Center Phone

541 533-2233

Sprague River Post Office

541 533-2251

Sprague River Volunteer Fire Dept.

Allan Moors, Chief 541 591-3405

Library Hours

Tuesday, Wednesday &

Thursday 11am – 4pm    


Saturday 12pm – 3pm

January 2014









Bridge Connection-9am

Heaven’s Garden-10:30am

Merry Widows-4pm

Bible Study & Potluck-6pm

Bible Study-7pm



Heaven’s Garden-10:30am





SRCC Board-10am




Bridge Connection-9am

Heaven’s Garden-10:30am

Bible Study & Potluck-6pm

Bible Study-7pm


Fit & Healthy-10am


Heaven’s Garden-10:30am





Physician Services-2pm


Bridge Connection-9am

Heaven’s Garden-10:30am

Bible Study & Potluck-6pm

Bible Study-7pm


District #3 & SRVFD Mtg-5pm


Heaven’s Garden-10:30am









Bridge Connection-9am

Heaven’s Garden-10:30am

Bible Study & Potluck-6pm

Bible Study-7pm


Fit & Healthy-10am


Heaven’s Garden-10:30am






Bridge Connection-9am

Heaven’s Garden-10:30am

Bible Study & Potluck-6pm

Bible Study-7pm



Heaven’s Garden-10:30am

Location of meetings/activities….

AA Meeting: Friends Church Kids Lunch: Friends Church

ASL Class: Community Center Kids Summer Reading: Library

Bible Study: SRVCF Sunday School Lions Meeting: Community Center

Breakfast: Community Center Lioness Meeting: Community Center

Bridge Connection: Next door to Library Lunch: Community Center

Community Meal: Friends Church Merry Widows Friends Church

Fire Dept. Meeting (SRVFD): District #3 Firehouse Physician Services: Bridge Connection

Fire District #3 Mtg.: District #3 Firehouse Bible Study & Potluck Friends Church

Friday Breakfast: Friends Church Senior Meals: Community Center

Friends of the Library: S.R. Library SRCC: Community Center

Good News: SRVCF Sunday School SRVCF: Community Center

Heaven’s Garden: SRVCF Sunday School SRVFD Dinner/Bingo: S. R. Fire Dept

Homemakers Activities: Community Center


Sunday Sermons By Pastor Tim

Word of the Day

Article of the Day

This Day in History

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Quotation of the Day

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Match each word in the left column with its synonym on the right. When finished, click Answer to see the results. Good luck!



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