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Doki Doki Literature Club

Posted by sm64provider on November 9, 2017 at 2:25 AM Comments comments (0)

I don't usually write reviews about new games, but after completing this game fairly recently these thoughts have been circulating around my head, so prepare yourself for a more serious review than the other games on this page.

Doki Doki Literature Club starts out as your run of the mill Japanese Dating Sim. In fact it does it so well that the opening disclosure 'This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed.' feels drastically out of place. You start off this dating sim like every other dating sim by giving the game your name and I guess going to school (To be fair, I don't play these kinds of games because they're a bit too cheerful and cute for me).

Ok, SPOILER WARNING! I will be rather blunt in this review, but only because of something the game does that has pissed me off (which is the reason I even want to write this review) so be warned...

You good?

Shall we start the spoilers?


The only thing other than the dating sim part I knew about was that apparently the game REALLY begins after one of the main characters die. So I stopped reading the review at that point and went to download this game myself as it seemed interesting enough. The game is FREE by the way, but I donated $1 just because I figured it was better than nothing. The game is available here There's like, a solid 2 or so hours of dialogue before anything 'bad' happens, and if it wasn't for the opening disclosure INCLUDING the disclosure agreement in the game 'By playing Doki Doki Literature Club, you agree that you are at least 13 years of age, and you consent to your exposure of highly disturbing content.', you'd think this was a solid visual novel dating sim.

So, continuing my original synopsis, you start off walking to school. You're joined with your bubbly, childhood friend Sayori. Today is the day you decide to join a club and while you're at it, look for a girlfriend and Sayori sort of persuades you to end up coming to the literature club, with the offer of free cupcakes being what wins you over. I think just before that happens, your character takes a moment to button up Sayori's blazer as she never does them up, to discover that her boobs are too big for it. She blames it on her laziness, the same excuse for her never getting up for school on time.

Before making a decision to even join this club, you arrive there and are greeted by not the club's leader, but the only other members; 2 girls. Btw, I think everyone is like 14? Although to be fair, Natsuki does look 12. Natsuki is the girl who offers you the cupcakes and welcomes you to the club in a very 'tsundere' way (as specifically described later in the game by Monika), and the other character Yuri with her umm...quiet nature? She's later described as 'Yandere' but that just means a person is crazy about someone else to the point of violence. Yuri is the typical kind of character who is quiet, has big boobs, quite smart, has long dark hair and keeps to themselves. Sakaki from AzuManga Diaoh is the same character essentially.

Ok, so far, everything is normal, the characters introduce themselves in a very natural way, there is no Engrish type stuff here, everything is loving and genuine. Monika shortly arrives, apologising for being late due to Piano lessons and then your character is asked to join the club. Because it's now too awkward to say no, you end up joining making everyone thrilled, especially Sayori. I'm forgetting the order of events here but I guess it's not really important. Over the course of the next few days, you do the following: write a poem, share it and read other characters poems, hang out with Natsuki and her Manga collection, hang out with Yuri (I think it depends what timeline you're on), help prepare for a festival where you promote the event (choosing who to help) and some other minor slice of life stuff. In the timeline I chose, I wanted to get close to Natsuki partially because she reminded me of one of my ex's, partially because I guess I liked her personality. Is that weird?

After choosing to help Natsuki with the festival preparations (which you never get to see, almost like The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask because fo the doomsday event), you exchange phone numbers. At this point I was trying to figure out who dies, and why. Does Yuri kill someone? No, that'd be too obvious right? Wouldn't she also be the most freaked out by murder? Hmm, or maybe someone commits suicide? Or maybe it's more natural like a car crash or high school shooting? I knew whatever it was, it'd be organic given this games nature so far. Anyway, the character makes a comment on Natsuki's writing style, using Emoji's or something, I forget and that she was planning to come over to make cupcakes and not the other way around! So she comes over, you make cupcakes, flirt a little innocently, it's basically 'puppy love'? and then because it took so long to make and bake the cupcakes, Natsuki is out of time and can't stay any longer even though she wishes she could because her life is bad at home, and her father is horrible to her (reminding me of my ex again), but will be punished if she isn't home for teatime soon. You both go outside, have a brief moment where I think you almost kiss? (I'm trying to remember) and Sayori intervenes out of nowhere. Natsuki flees.

Sayori reveals that she's happy for you two, and happy you joined the club, but that her heart hurts. She doesn't know why but she felt that if she didn't ask you to the club then you and her wouldn't spend much time together which also hurt her heart. Your character asks what's wrong and she said she was too worthless to have anyone worried about her (This character REALLY reminds me of a friend when I was in Secondary School. I'll just call her MM). You then convince her she needs to tell you, and basically force her to. She says she has depression, and has all her life. She takes medication and has counselling (I think?), and it's the real reason she struggles to get out of bed. Her excuse of being 'lazy' is just a cover for her depression and she doesn't know what she wants right now, other than us the player to be happy. To force us to do anything else would be too selfish and she's basically in a lose-lose situation, saying if she killed herself everyone would be happier as she's a burden (Again, like my friend). You get a choice now. Say she'll always be your dearest friend, fulfilling her earlier request of wanting everything to return to the way things were before, just being friends again, or you can tell her you love her fulfilling her obvious desire for you.

At this point I understood the game's nature now. The warning message. This game is about the cruel reality of depression, how it's about an invisible illness and how someone can be bubbly on the outside, but be hiding scars and suicidal tendencies from their friends, how even if they get 'help' and take meds, this is still a frightful daily struggle for millions and is unfortunately 'normal' as sickening as that is. This reminded me of the time 7 years ago when MM was telling me something similar, about why she was missing from school for 5 months. 5 whole months! I had to take a break from this game to read up on what little MSN convos of us I had saved, as well as her Facebook posts and some other stuff? I felt really bad for Sayori, I really connected with her based on this past experience (except I was the one attracted to MM, not the other way around. I said I wanted to be friends, but she actually rejected me haha 'but u want tht to lead to summink' and 'u want more than tht'). After realising this I wondered where the game could possibly go from here if she commited suicide? Because I had already figured out that no matter what you tell Sayori, it was game over for her (Be friends = ignore what her heart wants, make her feels useless, kill herself. Be lovers = tell her what she wants to hear, make her feel like she's being selfish and holding you back, kill herself). Except NOOOOOOOOO, the game wasn't trying to give a narrative on depression. It was actually something stupid. The whole premise of this game was stupid, and I can't explain what I'm even talking about right now because it fits into the end of my review and not here. For word fluidity, I'm going to continue writing about my thought process about what this game MIGHT have been, before dropping the bomb of disappointment.

I told Sayori I wanted to be friends and for things to return to normal, knowing her fate. The next day your character goes to school without Sayori, thinking she overslept again because this guy is oblivious. I don't mean that as an insult, he has reason to be. The only reason I know it isn't because she overslept is from the warning message and experience he doesn't have. You make it to school with your cupcakes/Yuri's decorations or whatever happens in her timeline/ is Monika even a choice? And Sayori isn't there, surprise. I think Monika is the first to greet you, even though she has a habit of 'being late' as you'll come to learn through playing this game. You deliver the cupcakes and Monika basically says she knows what happened between you two yesterday and that you should probably go check on her as 'you kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?' She then tells you that she's finished printing off the pamphlets. You pick one up and find the poem equivalent of a suicide note by Sayori in there. Panicked, you feel the need to check on Sayori and zip off.

You find Sayori in her room. Her parents don't seem home. You check her in her room and...she's hanging. from the ceiling, by her neck, already dead from suffocation. I didn't even notice Monika's poor taste in play-on-words choice there. I was shocked but knew something like this would happen. The character basically says fuck everything and the game just...ends. But it doesn't end, time resets, but at the same time it doesn't...

Ok, that's uhh...fine. Where do we go from here? Do we now get to see the events after the festival? Like, Yuri reveals she has depression from having to deal with Sayori dead now and cuts herself, bleeding to death? Causing Natsuki to no longer feel the club is her safe space, also commiting suicide like a mexican-wave of despair? Ending with another disclaimer from the game where it says something like:

'Despair is an invisible illness. Statistics from the Jason Foundation have found that there are 5,240 attempted suicides by kids in grades 7-12 daily. If you see a friend who you think is depressed, please call the national helpline service on 1-800-784-2433'

...or something. But guess what? The answer is NO. The game does not do this because that would be too clever. In fact, the game BREAKS CHARACTER and goes for a CHEAP story-arc type deal involving a villain. Why. WHY? This is wasted potential and I am mad. They have a villain end up basically admitting 'they killed themselves because of me! I manipulated them, and have hacked time and space to make me a God!' Ok I'm getting ahead of myself here, this belongs at the end of the review. But basically the villain is the same concept as Flowey from Undertale. If you know who that is you pretty much know how this is going to play out, including the multiple timelines bit...except instead of guilt tripping you like Flowey did, this villain trades that for alluring you because they love you.

So time resets, and you're taken to the title screen but uhh, it's a little glitchy. Sayori's sprite is a mess of squares made from two of the others in an uncoordinated mess. Your save files are gone so you start a new game. It starts almost like normal but sometimes there are slight jump scare moments, and any mention to Sayori is replaced with a random string of text, and any story involved with her is re-written as if she never existed, and I think Monika ends up bumping into you and introducing you to the club. This time they want you to join because the club needs 4 people, Sayori would have been the 4th, so you join. The game plays mostly the same but there are maybe 2 instances where characters dialogue have text that has an extremely thick outline, usually being dialogue that is changed  to be more negatively emotional. 1 such instance is where Natsuki is saying how she keeps her manga in the club and not at home because "My dad would beat the shit out of me if he found this.". I was a little surprised everytime this happened becaue OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO HER EYES AND MOUTH, WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT. Is Natsuki a robot powered by black, smokey squiggles? Monika comes over CASUALLY like you do when a human being stops being a human being, and gives her a chocolate bar. "If you're interested in Natsuki, then always keep a snack on you." explaining that she passed out due to low energy as her father doesn't feed her (This reminds me of my ex again. I don't know anything about the stepdad she hated, but she used to get so hungry she would steal from shops. I used to give her some of my packed lunch, I felt really bad for her). 

Next she gets up and it's time to present our poems to each other. I don't think anything was off here. I'm not sure? But it's what happens after. Natsuki and Yuri get into the same argument as last time. Before it was barely an argument, more like Natsuki being stubborn and Yuri standing up for herself over something they disagreed on? It was a bit cute. This time, it was a catfight of words (actually something closer to what my ex would've gotten herself into) "Me? Look who's talking you wannabe edgy bitch!" Natsuki says to Yuri. Yuri makes a comment on Natsuki's dad not feeding her and how she's really thin or something? It gets aggressive. Before it ends Monika steps In front of the dialogue box (is she allowed to do that?) "Why don't we step outside for a little bit?" as the 'game' fades away in the background. Wut. Oh by the way, in this timeline I tried getting with Yuri (picking keywords for the poem your character writes trying to target Yuri, but staying away from the scary words WHICH does seem to change how things play out later. Words like 'Ambient', 'Universe' and 'Disaster', 'scars' are both Yuri words, but are different sides of her). So if targeting Natsuki in this second playthrough yields a different timeline I'm sorry I'm not covering it here.

After the vicious argument, Natsuki comes out of the classroom where you and Monika are standing. She has tears running down her face and she just flees. Going into the classroom where Yuri is, she is seen chanting "I didn't mean it..." over and over, as if she had been in a trance. Yep, that's true. Unbeknownst to herself and Natsuki, they were both being controlled. Manipulated is kind of the wrong word here, even if accurate. She apologises and everyone goes home. The next day she apologises again, this time to Natsuki who's casually reading a manga. Natsuki is confused. She has no memory of the argument. At all. None, so she just accepts the apology to get Yuri to shut up. Monika arrives late! Woo! I know what you were really doing, and it wasn't masturbating or 'Piano' lessons. Things have returned to normal, for the most part. Yuri asks to read a book with you. After agreeing she offers to make a cup of tea and leaves the room to get water for the kettle. 10 minutes later you find her elsewhere in the building, cutting herself. She freaks out. Suddenly time rewinds like on a VHS tape and you're back in the classroom waiting for her. She comes back with the pitcher. Was that moment paranoia? Is the game going to have her kill herself next? 

You get ready to read the book and end up sitting on the floor because she's too embarrased to tell you that her boobs give her back problems when reading comfortably at a desk. Similar to Natsuki, you sit next to each other against a wall and read almost in sync. Your character helps Yuri eat some chocolate by subtly placing a square in her mouth. Surprised yet endeared, she eats the chocolate, blushes and yanks you to her feet. She talks about her heart pounding and how she can no longer concentrate on reading the book. The lights turn off. She begins describing her confusing feelings (she's definitely in heat right now), she basically shows signs of 'Yandere' toward you. She leans in to take a closer look at your face, and she has hyper-realistic GODDAMMIT eyes that are twitching unnaturally. Suddenly Monika appears, the lights turn back on and Yuri steps back. Time to present our poems, lol! You know, despite this games shitty ending, it does have some brilliant moments like this.

I just realised I'm talking about Yuri WAAY more than Natsuki even though I was interested more in Natsuki. Whatever haha. To keep things short, Yuri gradually gets crazier and crazier, to the point Natsuki and Monika both warn you to keep away as the more excited she gets, the more emo she becomes, but it happens anyway. She gives you a pretty creepy poem about human eyes splitting open, 6th dimensional gears, a clock ticking 40 times every second tick, there's even a part which says 'a kaleidoscope of blood written in clocks'. It's not even a poem, it's just edgy shit that someone writes when thinking passionately about something. She later reveals that when she wrote that, she was masturbating with a pen she stole from you! What!!

Eventually Friday comes. The festival is on Monday (this is where I found that out), and Yuri scares everyone away from the club. She's basically beyond saving at this point, having gone full psycho. Just after telling you that she wants your poem to give her papercuts so that your skin oils can enter her bloodstream (see what I mean?), she gets out today's knife (Monika says Yuri owns a collection of blades which she cuts herself with) and stabs herself 3 times, bleeding all over the floor, dying instantly. Glitched dialogue fills the dialogue box in front of Yuri's corpse. You can advance text manually, but there's over 1,000 lines of garbled text, so you have to fast-forward using the 'Skip' button. It takes a few minutes, and you see sunset, night, sunrise a few times until Monday comes, meanwhile Yuri's body slowly looses shape and colour, and the blood slowly turns a crusty dark red colour as if your character has just been sitting next to a corpse all weekend. Monday comes and Natsuki is the first there. She screams, and vomits. I thought that artistic choice followed by that payoff was brilliant and would like to see it somehow re-worked into a game about depression. But the moment is instantly ruined by Monika who comes along and decides to break the fourth wall. In fact she says she has control over Doki Doki Literature Club and shows you deleting the Natsuki.chr and Yuri.chr files. WHAT THE FUCK! Game, why? This is your villain I was talking about. The villain is Monika. And by the way, the garbled text Yuri's corpse mumbles is translated in the 'History' tab in game which usually shows a list of recent dialogue. It's Monika talking to you, introducing Doki Doki Literature Club in a loop until Monday comes.

I'll say it again as this is a new paragraph. Monika is the villain of this game, who comes off as sentient, just like Flowey from Undertale. She says her motive was to make the other characters 'crazy' so you'd fall in love with her and no-one else. Sayori was only depressed because Monika changed a few values here and there. Yuri killed herself because Monika changed some of her values too. I'm not sure if anything happens to Natsuki, but yeah, cheap cop-out ending. There's more gameplay after this, where you 'kill' Monika by deleting her file, time resets as if she never existed, blah blah blah, and to get the true ending, you have to start a new game, paste her back in, she deletes herself, paste her back in, she intervenes and then you get a credits sequence where a bunch of important pictures you collect scroll by, getting deleted? The game ends by deleting enough of its files to not be able to launch anymore.

I'm so mad that they went with that kind of sub plot. It's not like people that age actually get depressed and attempt suicide. That speculation I gave earlier? 'Despair is an invisible illness. Statistics from the Jason Foundation have found that there are 5,240 attempted suicides by kids in grades 7-12 daily. If you see a friend who you think is depressed, please call the national helpline service on 1-800-784-2433' Yes, that's real, here's the link to the page I copied some of that dialogue from and here's the Jason Foundation link that article links to

What a wasted opportunity :/

I don't even know what to rate this game.

The graphics were brilliant, the music was brilliant, the marketing, characters and almost everything else was brilliant, but handling the end of the game the way it did, and structuring the narrative of the game around it is the only thing that let it down.

I'm stuck between a 8/10 and a 5/10, so take your pick

Animal Crossing New Leaf

Posted by sm64provider on November 20, 2013 at 9:15 AM Comments comments (0)

I'm going to be completely honest, I have never played an Animal Crossing game before (until this game came out) and the reason isn't because I had no interest in it or didn't have the money, but simply because I was just like 'meh' to it since I didn't understand it.


When I was a kid, I used to love the idea of customisation in the digital world, anything you could edit seemed like an amazing idea that few games did but all that was available at the time to me was the 3D Maze screensaver for Windows 95, and WinBrick95 (I think it had an edit level option, but it was hard to use). Over the years I would come across games that gave more freedom like the Terrain editor in Yu-Gi-Oh Dueslist of the Roses, Lego Star Wars (absolute minimal), Crash Bandicoot's Level Editor (lets you place any crate you like in a VS map, then play in it) and I'm pretty sure there are more. Tetris and YuGiOh (arranging cards in a deck) don't really count since these are puzzle games. You know, games made up of puzzle elements. Anyway, these games were already awesome as it was and these extra little things were nice touches which I'm sure increased replayability (like a forever alone version of DLC) and it only got better when I finally got a DS. BOOM! I've talked about this before I know, but this is the point in my life when I came across Mario Kart DS's 'Emblem' editor application which let you draw anything you liked with a grid of 32x32 and 15 colours to choose from! How awesome is that! Actually, looking back, I REALLY would've loved Mario Paint if I had came across it as a kid (I didn't get to play it until I was a teen, and that was a SNES emulator running on my R4 magicom card).


The editor in Mario Kart DS was the first time I looked at a game and said to myself "Yes, this is brilliant! More games should do this, I wish other developers would learn from this because this is such an amazing idea!" (or somethig along the lines of that) and it was many years before I came across another game like this. I'm tempted to say Animal Crossing Wild World but that's not completely true. At some point in my life (I don't remember the order so I'll just assume I saw this next game first) I came across Worms Open Warfare which had it's own version of the emblem editor, a 'Flag' editor for teams! Where as Mario Kart only had 1 space for customised drawings (so 1 drawing per copy of the game which sucks), worms had something like 8? This was unbelievable! And you got more colours to work with! I can't remember how many, I think it was 24? 32? Something crazy like that, but thedownside was you only had a 24x24 size grid. Not a bad loss for what essentially is more. The only downside to this was that the colour selection was not really that good for it had no colour for pink. It had a weird skin colour which could be used instead but it was annoying trying to draw Princess Peach with skin-like colours for her dress (haha). All of this aside, I didn't think it could get any better.


Earlier I mentioned that I hadn't played any other Animal Crossing game before. I'm not entirely sure that's true since I did on one occasion while at a friends house load his copy of the game, walk like 4 paces inside his house (completely confused) and in my confusion I powered the game off which he yelled at me for, so if this counts as playing (more like brief observation) then I guess what I said earlier was wrong. At the time I had no idea that you could customise drawings in the game (I still haven't played it so I don't know if it's the same as New Leaf or not..?) so I had no real intrerest to get the game. Also, what do you even do in Animal Crossing??? Colelct bells, pluck weeds, buy furnature and clothes...why is this fun? You're essentially looking after a clumsy pet that occasionally has days where they trip and constantly need picking up, in fact this is essentially a game an alien would pick up to learn human interaction skills. Anyways, I had no motivation to play again, especially when my friend revealed Mr.Resetti to me (saying he yelled at me because I didn't save. Wtf?) and from what he was reading out loud to me, Mr.Resetti sounds like a pretty crappy game mechanic to me. If I made a game that included something like that I'd either get sued for making kdis cry, or no one would buy my game. And there was me, not buying their weird ass game.


Looking back to all the customisation bits in ACWW, I am pretty certain I would have loved this game as a kid...maybe...I'm not sure, this game (New Leaf) is the game that's gotten me thinking soo much about video games, and why even bother to play them anymore (I don't even know how to enjoy games anymore, I've even been writing a huge document for this very Video Game Reviews page where I ponder about games for like 10 or so paragraphs and I'm not done yet because I still can't come to a conclusion). So basically New Leaf destroyed my enjoyment for Modern video games. I had been playing this game continiuosly over the course of the first 3.5 months since it's release (13th of whatever month, June? 2013) and to this day I have not worked out what to do or how to enjoy the game. Seriously. It's 1 of the few multiplayer 3DS games and there isn't a lot to do other than play the role of a mailman and deliver stuff to people from anything you can store in your inventory, to letters, money, umm...probably other stuff too.


This next section is where I'm going to give my thoughts about Animal Crossing New Leaf as I first thought about them.


So here it was, June the 13th (I checked, yep), the game has arrived a whole day early (but I'm at Uni when it arrives, in a long lecture), anyway I get back to see my package and I'm like "OMFG!" I can't wait to play and see what all of the hype is about. I put the game in and "Ohh cute a puppy running around the Icon" and I load the game. Blah blah blah, I made a file, got on thetrain with that really f*****g nosy cat that you swear is going to kill and eat you, then you get off at a town which you named seconds beforehand. Imagine if it was like that in real life:

Cat: "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Umm, Buttspoopville"

Cat: "Really? I haven't really heard of that place before, hmm let me see, umm, is this the place?"

*Hands scribbles on a piece of paper*

Me: "Uhh, yeah" *Town pops into existance"

Conductor: "Uhh, yeah, everyone please keep calm or whatever but a place named 'Buttspoopville' has just materialised in front of us, would anyone be interested in visiting this place? Probably has a society full of wizards if they can just make it pop into existance like that. Anyone?"

Me: "Lol, yeah I'm totally getting off here"

Cat: "Back in the old days, I used to travel on this very train. This was back in 2002 when..."

Me: "SEE YA!"

Anyways, that was kind of a weird concept to me but I suppose it's pretty smart compared to Pokemon's 'Are you a Boy or a Girl?' which is a similar thing, but a different, more blunt approach. So I arrive there thinking "Wow, I'm the Mayor of this forsaken place!" and everyone is waiting for me outside the station. Typical responce, but my character on the other hand idiot. Every time Isabellend asked my character a question, the options were like 'uhh' or 'W-what is this?' or 'I'm not mayor, you've made a mistake', I mean c'mon, seriously, how dumb is the character supposed to be? Of course you're going to be mayor, it's the selling point of the game, It's written all over the box likea ribbon constricts a present. Anyways, after that Isabelle is all like "Come to my office" which convieniently is in the exact centre of town (makes sence, like a town hall) and so I go there and...pfft, I can't be mayor without a house. Ok, cool, I know this part, I get given a tent and have to pay 10,000 bells for it....bells? Why are they called bells? They look like regular coins and coin bags to me? I wonder if Isabelle's name has anything to do with it. Probably not but bells? How random? Why not call them spinning tops, or glue sticks or drumkits, I mean becasue this is completely random! Yes, in Zelda, the currency is Ruppees (I probably spelt that wrong) but that's becasuethe money is low poly capsule shaped gemstones that could be called anything, and so is named after an existing currency that is used in India. Why? I have no idea, but Zelda does borrow a lot of terms, and symbols from economies, religions and other stuff around the world.


So the first thing I'm thinking is "wow, this place is soo big! I wonder how you make money?" and I'm looking around and all I see are cherry trees and (on the beach), shells. It doesn't take long to find out that I can sell just about anything to Re-Tail (R Parkers in Japan) and they will buy it. Imagine in real life picking up stones or snails, rubbish etc, and going into a shop expecting the keeper to buy everything from you. That's just not a system that will work. But as you do, I picked up some shells and cherries and sold them thinking "I am an outsider, and I have come to your town, picked up your own fruit, and am selling them back to you for my own personal profit. What right do I have to do this? Yeah I'm Mayor but it's your own stuff, why would you even buy this?" but that feeling soon went away because I realised that there were no consequences so this was a good idea for money. Soon I had enough money to buy a shovel and a fishing rod and so I started fishing and digging holes. I had my own thoughts about these actions. When I first started fishing, it was really exciting catching more and more new fish but it didn't take long to dawn on my that I was destroying the ecosystem, and this made me feel really guilty because when a species of anything is caught in mass numbers, it has a chance to die out proportional to the demands for it. Sicne you call sell just about anything to Re-Tail (and always get the same price or more on specific days), it seemed that I was destroying the natural environment for my own profit, kinda like how poachers make a living, which is bad! And the scary thing is that the game is ok with it, it rewards you as you destroy it because well, it's just a game and fish technically just spawn so I shouldn't have been thinking about it too hard. What I was afraid of was 1 day in my town (which is supposed to evolve over time) someone would come up to me and make me feel guilty for everything I had done, stealing all the fruit, digging holes everywhere, or whatever but nope, it's totally ok.


The other thing that came into mind with these 2 new items was the shovel, and because I play a lot of Zelda games I assumed it worked the same way but it doesn't. Hmm. You use shovels to bury items, unbury items, and stab rocks until valuables come out like insects, bells and gems. What? Because I was used to Zelda, I assumed the holes would despawn if I entered a house but this wasn't the case. Something I noticed almost immediately about the game was how much it reminded me of The Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass for the DS because the characters walk/run the same, they bop the same as they move, the way the main character turns, the way he holds a shovel and digs, just about everything feels like Phantom Hourglass, and eventually I found out why! The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time is a game that was made using a heavily modified Super Mario 64 engine, making this the OoT engine. This engine made it's way into TLOZ The Windwaker and Animal Crossing (The original N64 version in Japan). The Windwaker Engine was modified for Phantom Hourglass on the DS and the N64 AC made it's way onto the Wii. Ok, basically this engine floated around a lot between quite a few Nintendo games and perhaps were modified by the same staff that created it for those wanting it in their games? I have no idea but for whatever reason the engine pretty much is the same as Phantom Hourglasses. That's pretty cool.


Playing Animal Crossing New Leaf was always the same formula for me. Open the game, do activity 1, possibly unlock something which I would get excited for maybe about a day, do activity 2 and then quit. activity 1 would be the same repetitive stuff, check the mail, water the plants, pluck the weeds, dig up the fossils, shake the trees for money bees and furnature, find the gem rock, find the money rock, get the fossils analysed, donate if neccessary or if not sell them, and then do a bit of shopping. That's too much repetition that I wish I could just not do -.- Activity 2 would then be to go to the island, catch all the expensive bugs, return and sell them, then either bank the money or get an extension on my house, and each trip to the island would get me between 320,000 - 600,000 bells, normally around the 400,000 mark since sharks did not appear that often. Sometimes I would do the random thing like start a town project, decorate my house, plant a bush, write a letter or whatever. But to this day, I still do not understand what you do in Animal Crossing, so I just eventually...stopped. This game lets you make 10 custom 32x32 designs with well over 80 colours to choose from, plus an additional 10 if you save some designs at the Able Sisters shop, and even more beyond that if you get the Able Sisters to save the designs as QR codes, and not only can you design things, you can decorate furnature with them, and then use them to decorate your house, but I just don't seem to enjoy it as much as I thought I would've, especially now as an adult, and that's why I'm going to have to give this game a low rating.


Overall, as a game that keeps you hooked, you either have a reason or you don't, so I'm going to put this in the middle with a 5/10.

Mario Kart DS

Posted by sm64provider on November 30, 2012 at 12:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Ahh Mario Kart, a classic series starting on the SNES in 1992.

This section might as well be devoted to all the games in the series, but 1, I don't want to drag on about all 7 current games (ignoring the Wii U's which is coming out very soon no doubt), and 2, I haven't exactly played them all yet. Some day though...

Back in 2004, the Nintendo DS came out. I can't remember if i've said this already but whatever, it doesn't matter. When I first saw an advertisement for it, I wasn't impressed. The DS to me looked like a failure that could never replace my trusty GameBoy Advance / GBA SP, and so I never asked for 1. It did however have 1 feature that excited me, but It was hard to understand what the magazine was trying to say because either A, they misunderstood something, or B, Nintendo chaged their minds on it. I am talking about a little feature that said it could read GBA games, and display them with extra, enhanced content...of course, I was just a little kid, so maybe I just read it wrong? Anyways, I didn't intend to get 1.

Later that year (I swear the advertisement was early 2004?), my friend Ben (and his brothers Jamie and I-Forget-His-Name...let's just call him Boy#2) all got Nintendo DSs for...pfft...I can't remember...Summer? Their birthday? Maybe a shop exploded somewhere or they just got lucky... You know what? I don't even remember if it was 2004 as Wikipedia says it didn't arrive to Europe until March 11th 2005, so uhh...maybe they got imports? Ok ok, let's just say this happened in 2005. It makes more, when I went around his, we would play games, like N64 or Gamecube or card games or lightsaber fights, etc, and every now and then, I would be allowed to play Super Mario 64 DS (This was during the summer, so maybe they got it at March?) and get really far (I'll probably explain my experience of this amazing and yet, not quite amazing game another time...Damn you Boy#2, deleting my SAVE FILE!!!). Anyway...

So, my decision to getting a DS was slightly swayed towards getting one, but it was not that big of a deal, I had my GBA & GBA SP, I was happy (did I mention that I got the gameboys as surprise gifts?), also why bother if I could borrow Ben's?. Eventually christmas came, and i'm like 'WOOP!' and i'm opening lots of presents...all of which I have forgotten which is sad as 2005 was my favourite year...Don't really remember why...but I do remember 1 thing. There was a box, which when I- yep, you guessed it. My real parents (who I didn't live with) somehow managed to buy me a brand new Nintendo DS with the tiny amount of money they live off (my mother has epilepsy) as a surprise gift. When you're given something like this, don't you just feel horrible for not being bothered about it in the first place? It makes you feel ungrateful!! Anyways, I learnt to love it. I'm pretty sure it came with MKDS- FINALLY I get to talk about Mario Kart DS!

I'm there like 'omg, a Nintendo DS!!'. I turned it on asked me a bunch of questions which surprised me. Enter your Date of Birth, select your favourite colour, What is le time? After all of that was over I...think I had christmas dinner...whenever I first tried Mario Kart I dunno, but yeah, I popped in the cartridge at...whenever and erm, configured MKDS. I played a few races and got bored...

The last Mario Kart game I had played was the SNES version as a kid. This DS game disappointed me. The graphics looked bad, there was no Feather item, I kept losing, the Karts were limited and boring, and I had no motivation. I liked designing my own Kart icon though. That was awesome XD. But other than that, I barely touched the game. It just sat in my draw or whatever I left it in, for aaages. Sometimes i'd get it out to race people I'd come across which wasn't that often, and like 90% of the time, I'd lose. I even resorted to cheating with an Action Replay but meh, my love for the game increased over time...btw, I stll don't love the game, but I appreciate it more than whatever we have today.

Looking back at this game, it fits well into Nintendo's history. It showed off what the DS could do, delivered good sound, a nice design, even some interesting ideas to keep players coming back (Custom icon, Player names, the ability to hop into a drift, see all players current items, wireless racing, missions mode, time trials, free play for battle mode...). If you've ignored all that, then you'll probably see this game as having ok music, ok sound, bad graphics, boring gameplay, not enough extra features.

An over-rated game deserves a fair rating.


The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/3D Version

Posted by sm64provider on July 12, 2012 at 6:45 AM Comments comments (0)


Back in 2006, I bought a Nintendo 64 offline (with help from our neighbour) because I really wanted to own 1 as I felt like I missed out on that generation, seeing as I was about 3 when it came out (and was expensive!). After being absolutely mesmerised with Super Mario 64, I decided to buy some more games, and ended up with Pokémon stadium and Banjo Kazooie, of which I didn't really play much! Later on, I was thinking back to my childhood, and I remembered a game where I was a character in a giant tree, climbing higher inside, and falling down, having to start again (this must've been 1996/1997, so what game could his have been?), so I decided I wanted this game. Somehow I came to the conclusion it was The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina fo Time, a game I did not know ANYTHING about. In fact, I didn't really like Zelda. I just saw it as a game with a sweaty guy named Zelda, running around, chasing pigs and stuff (the first Zelda game I ever saw was the Windwaker btw), but just because of that memory, I got the game.


While waiting for Christmas to come so I could play it, I got tempted to download it onto the computer (which I did), and the first thing I opened up was the cheats (part of the emulator I used). There were soo many cheats; I was thinking "Ok, woah, this must be one COMPLEX game. I better not play it until I get it in real, so it can teach me how to get through it", because obviously, I won't know what I’m doing. So, it's finally Christmas, and I’m there, dead excited to play a game that I dared not research, a game I had NO IDEA was about except that all I knew was the main character is called Zelda (Which I thought was Link's name...oops :/ Don't worry, I did find out later who Zelda REALLY was), he (Link) wears green clothes with brown boots, and...He has a sword and shield.


So, the title screen comes on, and I’m thinking "this is nice", watching adult Link ride Epona through Hyrule field as it transits to day. So, I press start, enter a name (I think I put 'MJS' or 'MSmith' or maybe 'M.Smith' whatever haha), and start the game. Immediately I was worried this was going to be some kind of RPG (the only RPG I had ever played at the time was Pokémon) with like a million quests, hundreds of clothing options, loads of items, spells and sh**, and required me to level up, like some kind of mage. What gave me this idea? Well, I saw fairies everywhere, and erm...A VERY blank item screen, so imagination went a bit crazy haha.


So here I am, thinking "wow, a forest! Ooh, what’s this?" I find some Kokiri kid telling me that I can never leave the forest. I'm thinking that I must be able to when I’m an adult, otherwise, why would they put this in a game? (Because I saw adult Link on the title screen, I assumed I would grow up at some point) So I took it easy. I thought, "Why not explore? Sooner or later I'll come across what I need to find". I must've been exploring for DAYS (in real life) before I actually got anywhere, like I found this hole (you guys know what I’m talking about) which I crawled into, and BOOM! I found the Kokiri sword! It said it was 'a hidden treasure of the Kokiri' but I could only 'borrow it for a while'. As soon as I saw this, I felt REALLY guilty. I thought I had done something wrong if I was borrowing something without permission! I desperately tried to work out how to put it back so I could do so later, but it was no use. I was stuck with this treasure until the end of the game (heck, Link MODIFIES IT in the sequel, Majora's mask. Not once, but 3 times!!!). Anyways, knowing I was stuck with the sword, I was thinking "If the game wants the sword back, they'll have to do it for me", because hey, if I’m stealing, I’m sorry! I can't return it!


Not long later (or might've been before), just as I was till getting my bearings in Kokiri Forest, I came across Mido, a Kokiri who is jealous of Link, and tells you that you need a sword and shield. So I buy the shield, and the fat head moves. Yay! Btw, did I mention there's a shop you have to go to, in order to buy the shield? Yeah, you have to have money. Where do you find it? In rocks, hidden behind walls, in grass, and you can fabricate them by skipping across the stepping stones that lead to the shop. Erm, who paid you to do that anyway? Was it Fado? Or the other girl? Whatever, but the shop sells some interesting stuff. Arrows "Wow, i'll need these when I’m an adult!" Deku nuts "Ooh, what are these?", slingshot ammo (? yeah, it had confused me haha), a heart, a stick, and a shield. I bought WAY TOO MANY Deku sticks, because I loved the way I could break one against a wall, and keep the shorter half, like a temporary sword. Yep, that's right, I performed a glitch, without even realising it was a glitch. Every time i broke a stick, it would ALWAYS let me keep the remaining half. Dunno why!


So anyways, the fat head moves his weirdly orientated ass out of the way (he just...kinda pivots against you ), and you can finally go through the passage to the Great Deku Tree who summons you at the very start of the game. But what do you find in your way? 3 Deku babas. And guess what they drop? Deku nuts and Deku seeds. As soon as I saw this, I was thinking "Grr! I've been buying this stuff, and the guy has been getting it all for FREE!". Anyway, I see the Deku Tree, he lets you enter his mouth, and go into the first dungeon of the game. I'm not going to spoil it for those unfortunate enough not to have played this game, but trust me, playing this game without knowing any of the puzzles from watching other people, is sooo satisfying! XD


This game has an amazing story, dangerously addictive gameplay (at least I thought it did. I could barely sleep!), amazing characters, dungeons, miniquests, items, lighting, playability, and the best thing is, it takes itself so seriously. Even though it's a fantasy game, you get so immersed, it's like playing chess. You concentrate on it, but it's fun to do so, and they throw in action, adventure, cinematography, lighting (mentioned above), and a good story, it all feels so real, and when you see the world as adult Link, the impact hits hard (the world is almost in ruins). If you haven't already, buy this game, and play it to the end (or, be lazy and watch a Let's Play or walkthrough), you will LOVE IT. 1 thing I might like to suggest in order to help you, is you might want to find some kind of map of Hyrule (or use the one on the pause screen as you automatically fill it in) because it does require that you take your time to explore the field a LOT, and if you're impatient, you'll be moaning at the game "where do I go? I'm lost!"


Overall rating, 10/10


Ok, now for the 3DS version. GREZZO did a fantastic job carrying the game over to the 3DS, including some small updates, but I have noticed a number of differences, both good and bad. I shall list them below:

They converted the game to 3D!

The 3D camera is really well coded. When Link gets too close, you'd expect the 3D to invert, and distort, but they coded it, so that it automatically refocus's, making close ups without any eyesore!

The engine seems EXACTLY the same. It's like they ported it, meaning that yes, a LOAD of glitches from the original game carried over. The secret coloured gauntlets have been found in the game, so it's possible that other beta/unused items had to be added too (maybe the people at GREZZO never played the game, or, they would have to put them in to make the rest of the game function correctly?)

They've improved the graphics, increasing polygons to make full use of the 3DS's capabilities. My only complaint is the appearance of Young Link. He looks like a skinny, bunny kid, as opposed to a typical, grubby boy.

They've improved/re-created the animations for characters, some looking better, some worse (better would be like the animation for Link rolling is now more fluent, and he rolls more accurately, but worse would be the sinking death animation for King Dodongo).

The lighting. Granted, this is a handheld game, it's a specification (or seems to be) that handheld games be vibrant, and games for your TV be duller and TV friendly, but the lighting in the original was revolutionary for its time. So much mood and atmosphere was added in the original, but in the 3DS, it's just...hey, let’s just stick some lights over here, and over there. I'm not sure if GREZZO intentionally ruined it, but 1 of the best examples is the battle against Ganon on top of the destroyed tower. In the original, you can only just make out his silhouette against the night sky, and the reflections of his blades, and his eyes are glowing too, so you've got this suspense to what he looks like. You only get a few glances as lightning strikes, and it really adds tension to what's going on. When Link finally thrusts his sword into Ganon's skull, you can just barely make out what's going on (because of this 1 scene, the game was nearly a Teen game in America/12+game in Europe. So in order to still make it available for everyone, they had to make the blood green, and make the final blow darker compared to version 1.0. See these pictures for comparison:, but in the 3DS version, it's just like you can see Ganon, lit up, and erm...not much drama then haha.

Also they improved the textures. In some cases, they remade the older textures HD, but other cases, they re-invented it. A minor re-invention is the wallpaper in Ganondorf's Tower. In the original, it's a white skull (on parts of the walls) with glowing red eyes, but in the remake, it's changed to look less like a skull, and the red eyes are not present. But an improvement is the boss battle for Koume and Kotake (Or Twinrova), as the walls just light up with mystical colours. It REALLY adds more depth.

The controls. Using the Gyro in the 3DS feels so naturally when aiming at objects in the game world. Unfortunately, if you want to keep the 3D on, you might as well be standing up, twirling in circles, otherwise it'll distort.

The sound and music are pretty much identical. Obviously the 3DS has better sound processers than the N64, so they were able to use the original soundtrack rather than convert it to as small a file as possible. They've even gone a step further, and made some sounds 3D (yes, the 3DS has digital surround sound).

They've changed Link's facial reactions, and this is rather annoying. In the original, whenever Link made a noise, he opened his mouth. In the 3DS, they removed this, so that his mouth is almost always closed, except in cutscenes, where they're more scripted. For some reason, they didn't include the one of where he puts the master sword back into the pedestal as an adult, and so they've re-invented that cutscene which is a small disappointment.


But other that the bad stuff above, they've done an excellent job of re-introducing the game to the next generation of kids, and a sequel (sorry, THE sequel) is in the works right now, woo! Majora's Mask comes out in 2013, so look out for it then! :D



Final Fantasy VI (Was once known as FFIII in the US)

Posted by sm64provider on June 8, 2012 at 4:25 PM Comments comments (0)

The reason I own this game is kind of an odd 1. About 6 or 7 years ago I remember thinking to myself that I wanted to try and get myself into the Final Fantasy series because of how awesome I remember Final Fantasy VII was when I was a kid (even though I don't really remember much about it because I was 4 years old). Around this time (6-7 years ago), I had recently gotten myself another childhood game which was the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time which is technically the first Zelda game I ever played, and it got me into the series, and so I believed that FFVII would do the same. I went into a shop looking for it at asked the owner if they sold it. They then joked that if they did have it, they'd sell it for at least £20 because it's 1 of the greatest video games of all time, but like I said, they didn't have it so I looked to see what was available.

I found a copy of Final fantasy VI and thought to myself "Well, it's close enough. Maybe I can learn what happened 1 game before FFVII. I mean how different could it be?". Well I went home, put it into my playstation (as far as my research tell me, only America and Japan got the SNES version in 1994, and we got a PS1 port about 5 years later), and the first thing I saw (because just liek when I played Ocarina of Time, I had absolutely NO information about the game except for the blurb on the back of the CD case and the instruction manual which I didn't even bother to read) was about a minute long CG cutscene which gave me a positive impression about the 3D game I was about to play...or so I thought. Yeah, it came to a great surprise to me that they went to all the effort to put in a 3D cutscene for a game that's 100% 2D which is completely misleading.

I pretty much was like "Oh dear, the graphics look underwhelming now. I'll try to get into this" and So I started a new file. About 5 minutes later when the game finally let me move about (in a dull town, full of machinery and no music in the background) I immediately became broed especially as I couldn't explore due to my mech suits size, meaning the game was forcing me to move upwards which I believe is known as 'scripting'. Basically this si where the programmers make the player think they're moving forwards in their own way when they're really being forced to do 1 thing. Anyway, I got into a cave, soemthing exploded...I pretty much didn't care at this point and I turned the game off. But this isn't the end of the review, oh no. If I had stopped playing the game here, I would've rated this brilliant game terribly.

So, I was telling my friend that I had this game and he got a little excited and asked to borrow it (in return i got to borrow one of his games...I think, I don't remember!). about...9 months later (I think? Yeah, we were starting to fall out as friends)  I finally went over his house, and got the game back (Becuase he told me ages ago that he'd finished with it, but I was too lazy to actually get it back). For about 5 years (maybe 4, 3.5) the game sat in my room, doing nothing. Until 1 day when I was home from college, I decided to give it another chance SOLELY because NintendoCapriSun was doing a Let's Play of Final Fantasy IV on YoiTube and was explaining what all these weird items are (another reason I stopped playing the game.) like Tinctures, Potions, AntDot, Tent...weird stuff...and what the atatcks were like Bio, Muddle, Doom, Break, X-Zone etc. 

OK, enough of my life story...again! Hahaha

So, before I start my review, I want to say this is a really good game, it's just it's REALLY slow at getting anywhere or doing anything cool. I can imagine people would enjoy it more ONLY if they've already completed a Final Fantasy game because a lot of boring stuff happenes, and you don't really know what's going on and the cutscenes go on forever. But yeah. ok.

You're a woman named Terra, but you've recently been suffering amnesia (and there's a reason for this). You're working for a villain named Kefka (sometimes witten as Cefka of Kefca) and he's using you to gather special rocks called espers. When you go into the cave I mentioned earlier (happens in the first 2 minutes of gameplay which btw you're introduced to the battle system and are shown that your mecha suit kicks ass against all enemies which is useful info for later) there's some kind of explosion..I dunno (a light flashes and the 2 guards who tagged along with you suddenly vanish from the game as well as you the player suddenly ending up on the floor with no mecha suit on) and then there's another cutscene of a man named Locke coming to the rescue while fighting off all the bad guys who want to capture Terra.

It's also at this point you're introduced to the Mogs which are basically clones of that white cat that sits on the floating island in Dragonball Z, and they attack by dancing...yay...So Locke saves Terra and takes her to a nearby base to nurse her back to full health. It's then revealed that she was found wearing a tiarra which was brainwashing her but it's no longer in effect because they removed it and now she can think for herself except the fact it was on her for so long that she cannot remember who she is anymore. 

The game starts to pick up a bit of pace here, but all that happens is you grind, go to a new location, meet someone new, grind, nw location...just a few times, but not long enough to get annoying, merely a way to get the player to remember locations for later. So much amazing stuff happens in this game, but the game does feel a little bit dated from time to time but can be rather fun if you already like RPG's to an extent (I like Pokemon ebcause it's simpler). After this a lot happens. You see a castle rise, a castle fall, a war, an opera, an airship, character development, deaths, quirky stuff...the end of the world...Just, play the game and you'll see what I mean.

All in all, i'd rate this game an 7.5/10 for what it is today

an 8.5/10 for what it is, and how clever it was trying to be


a 9/10 for the experence it gives you despite starting out slow.

Spyro Adventure (GBA)(Attack of the Rhynocs in the US)

Posted by sm64provider on October 15, 2011 at 12:20 PM Comments comments (0)

First of all, why oh why did Europe rename the game to 'Adventure'? Whta's wrong with the US name for it!

Well, to be fair, it's kind of both, but seeing how BIG this game feels, calling it an attack seems like it could be a war game, or RPG, which it is definately not... I'm not trying to defend Europes choice of the title, i'm just throwing that explanation of a 'maybe this is why' out there.

Ok, this game is a worthy Spyro game (Now that I think about it, ANY Spyro game is better than THIS Spyro game), as it keeps the traditional Spyro formula, which is to learn your attacks again (charging, ground pound, fire 1, fire 2, wind 1, wind 2, ice 1, ice 2...umm is that it? haha), collect gems, and kills monsters and animals, because you are awesome. 

The idea of this game is rather silly, which is, it's your birthday! yay, and to celebrate, this professor dude has made you a robot teddybear slave. You open your eyes (after being blindfolded, as the lab IS top secret), to see that lazy professor hasn't finished it yet, so he tells you to look at this hole he made. You go over to the table, to see a hole in a box, of which you can see Ripto planning doom (or maybe an attack involving Rhinocs), and the professor dude tells you that the hole is indeed, a rip in the fabric of space, meaning, that it's basically a tiny portal. While he does some last-minute adjustments, he tells you to go into his 'Virtual Playground', which is a test course, explaining the basic controlls. After about 5 minutes, you leave, and he then he shows you his teddybear in action as its ready now, and he asks it to get Spyro some milk and cookies. Because the professor assumably cuts corners, the robot goes rogue, and starts charging at Spyro (did I mention, the robot teddybear is 2x the height of the professor?), until Spyro leads the robot  into a nearby electrical twin-metal-bolt-thing sticking out of the floor, in plain sight (geez man, talk about 'Safety first'! I'm surprised Spyro hasn't fallen into a pit yet), causing a massive electric excitation, de-activating the robot, but activating the hole (portal), so that it can become big enough to fit a person through, like...umm...Ripto?

So basically Ripto is like: Awesome, I was thinking on how to destroy you guys, when a portal into your lab appears in front of my eyes, so yeah. I'm invading. Spyro is about to attack him, but decides to argue back saying "Ripto! Grrr... I'm gonna kick your..." and Ripto presses a button on his 'Warp device' that warps you to Dragon Coast beach. The rest of the game is learning all the powers, collecting gems, secret objects, doing a trade quest like thing, defeating enemies, and playing as different characters in minigames.

This game is satisfactory from start to finish, and each land has it's own special makeover of gameplay mechanics, and decorations, which make each area unique, and it keeps the game new and refreshing. Some of my favourite things are changing Spryo diffferent colours, walking on water which you just froze, getting lost in a big area, collecting secrets, and using new items in previous locations (as this happens a LOT, meaning you get to re-explore previous locations).

I love this game, but the only thing that lets it down is it's multiplayer gameplay, as its repeats of the minigames, which to be fair, were fun when completed once, as they're tedious, which is challenging, but not something you wanna play again and again with your friends. 

Overall rating: 9/10

(But for a Spryo game, and what it is as a game on it's own) 10/10

Game and Watch: Gallery Advance (Gallery 4 In the US)

Posted by sm64provider on October 15, 2011 at 11:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Ok, I need to update this website more (or the newer one...)

Ok, Game and Watch Gallery Advance is a game for the Gameboy Advance, and it lets you play old Game & Watch games (as the name suggests),but has it's own remakes for each one, called the 'Modern' version, which has been remade for the Gameboy Advance, and even has added music. The game starts out with 6 games, which is what it says on the box, and at first, you may be disappointed, but that's ok, because there's a reward system that allows you to collect stars (each game has a potential of 5 stars, 5 for modern, and 5 for classic, which are earned when the highscore goes up in 200's)...umm, so basically, say you get 199 points in classic easy mode. You don't get a star, and when you next play, you make your way up to 200.

Now you get the first star (which can't be re-collected), and you keep going untill you get to 1,000 points. everytime you collect 10 stars, something special happens. you get access to 1 of the extra 6 games! It starts off in order, until they're all unlocked, and after that happens, do you still keep getting rewards? Yes! You start getting cool stuff in your Gallery (you can acces this on the menu screen, but all thats there is the toy box which lets you see how many stars you currently have won from the game). You get a Game&Watch Date book, which says the names of the games next to the year they were released, a bill board, letting you see all the previous dialogue boxes from the games and item you've unlocked/played, a music box, and a museum,which has some of the most fun (yet pointless to play as they do not earn you stars) G&W games, ever.

Umm, ok, now to review it. This game is brilliant if you're a casual gamer that likes beating highscores, and getting that satisfactory feeling you get when you achieve something, and unlock something new. There are plenty of games (I think it's 18 ), and the modern ones have lots of gorgeous colours, and catchy music that will stay in your head for hours after playing. This is an ideal game for on the go, like waiting to get onto an aeroplane, or maybe a long car journey, as there is a lot of playability, and something for everyone.

If you're a person that likes a linear game, this isn't for you, as it's just minigames, repeating forever, getting harder as they go along, and there's no real goal. 

My favourite ones are Boxing, Donkey Kong 3 (I love standing in the middle, firing 3 bubbles, then collecting a drip, then firing on the spot, collecting another drip, like some kind of machine, until Donkey Kong dies...but the AI seems to learn your pattern as soon as 500 points), Donkey kong Jr (as it's one of the ONLY minigames that has different playable platforming levels), and The Legend of Zelda.

Overall rating: 9/10

The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Posted by sm64provider on February 1, 2009 at 3:13 PM Comments comments (1)

Ok, wow, this game is EXTRAORDINARY! A successful sequel to The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time, this game fills in some gaps and has a phenomenal story plot forcing you to explore everthing's movement within 3 days, of course, using time travel. the whole basic plot is to collect Masks, some with powers, some with extra meaning, some which work with certain people, just so you can FINALLY collect the most powerful of the lot. Majora's Mask. now you can use ALL the arrows! ride Epona, and...well, become Feirce Deity (Originally planned to be Adult Link, mabey it was removed because the idea of holing the face of your own future self would be TOO weird or something...). almost everyone is the same to everyone in Ocarina Of Time. untill you read the Manual (i dont have one, PRE-Owned GOLD cartridge V1.2) it says that you venture into a 'warped dimention'. ok, that explains why EVERYONE LOOKS FAMILIAR!!! the postman, the itinerant girl, her dad, the ranch brothers, the builders, guru, skull kid and even THE FROGS ALL LOOK IDENTICAL TO OCARINA OF TIME!!!!!!!!!


ok, got distracted, the whole idea is to go back in time. listen to this BREIF OF A BREIF i have planned... you change into a wooden shrub. you get magic, you tag some kids, go into their observatory, you collect an item for there, you sell it, you go into the clock tower, you shoot a bubble at the skull kid. you collect the Ocarina Of Time. You go back in see the great fairy and turn human, MASK 1, Deku Shrub. you go into the woods, find out the water's polluted. you see the deku king who is cross because his daughter dissappeared. you go into a temple, defeat a monster, collect his mask, find the deku princess, bottle her, give her to the king. water isn't polluted, so you leave. You go back in time... you go to the snowy mountains after finding arrows. find out its not meant to be snowy here...EVER. you find a ghost at some point he gives you the path to The Lens Of Truth. you use it at the snowy mountain place. you climb a invisible ladder, watch a goron die, steal his face, turn it into a mask...AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! this is too much! ok, ok, lets try explaining this in ONE sentence.


You collect masks from the four corners of the game and you assemble them to save the world so you can battle Majora's Mask the world again...all because Navi abandoned Link and dissappeared. What a B****!!!


well, enough on this game, my personal overall rating is 10/10

The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Posted by sm64provider on February 1, 2009 at 2:01 PM

Ok, somewhere near the end of December 2008,  I was getting desperate to get what seemed like the best Zelda game so far, Twilight Princes...or, so i heard...


Eventually, after looking in ALL the shops for the GameCube version (a Wii doesn't have enough area space for lots of movement in our bungalow), and there were none. then i found out it was rare because it was so good AND there were a limited amount made because it was the last game to be made on the GameCube...or yet again, AS I heard...


Anyway, near the beggining of January 2009, i had an option to have someone buy it offline for me. when it came i couldnt wait to play it. ok, ENOUGH OF MY LIFE STORY!!!


So, the first thing i noticed is that (GCN Version) it has poor graphics compared to the Windwaker. also, why does Everything/Everyone Except Link, Epona, Zelda, Midna and the Mayor's Daughter look demented??? Think about it, a parrot with an afro? a guy with HUGE pointy lips? HUGE headed monkeys? ETC. as i was trying to ignore these first 2 things, ANOTHER pops up. round up some goats. anyway, then i get the day off. cant ride epona, says the Mayor's Daughter. ok then. anything else? she then tells you that your FIishing Rod(100% ESSENTIAL TO CONTINUE AT THIS POINT OF THE GAME!!!) is finished, but you have to get it yourself. oh GREAT! here comes the headache (no, i really mean it, i was up all night with the bugger...), you go to the house where the fishing rod is in AND... "HEY!!!" you cant go in there, because the mayors wife is in there going nuts. as you're just about to leave, "HEY!!! A GOAT GOT LOOSE!". GOTTA STOP IT, Gotta know how. The game decides its appropiate to tell you AFTER you fail to stop a goat , as if to not waste time. this next part defies logic. how do you get the first chained item(Fishing Rod) without physically entering the house and simply collecting it? ask EVERYONE and look EVERYWHERE, you wont find a clue. i know, i spent 5 hours on this part, STILL AS PEASANT LINK!


So, HERE'S the chain... you get the fishing rod to catch a fish (you are next to a cat when you catch it, BUT), instead of giving it to the cat, Link puts it back. you need two more fish to watch a cutscene of Link giving the cat the fish. 3 fish??? it would make sense if Link did it the first was i supposed to figure that out??? next, the cat runs to its owner, the shop lady who give you 1/2 a glass of milk. she says to keep it and store things in. first instinct is to leave, looking for more clues. i spent a lot of time on this part... it turns out, you're supposed to stay in the shop and MAGICALLY have 40 rupees so you can buy a slingshot. so you EVENTUALLY or PREVIOUSLY find out that the kids want a go. you shoot some targets and they get kidnapped. you turn into a wolf, Midna, a possesive little minx takes, well, rides you constantly while saying things like "Listen, i like you, so i think i'll get you out of here. But in exchange for my help, you have to do EXACTLY as i say! If you need anything from me, just press  to give me a sign!" right... ok then.

So, the Objective is not always clear, the majority of the characters are not well made or presented, the graphics could've been better (is the Wii version like this with graphics?) and i now havent played it for a few weeks. if your wondering, not long ago, the postman greeted me twice. oh MAN is he ugly, he used to be AWESOME! look at Majora's Mask...that game was cool.


In conclusion, my personal overall rating would have to be: 3/10