Red Clay Studios

Division by Zero - Introduction

Well, we promised a battle report and so we deliver. Full of pop culture references as we're going to get, this Brik War took place over... Alot of time. So, enjoy mulching, 9000 attack, forging legendary weapons, and Monty Python's treasure.

The Field.

Somewhat similar to our old one, our field includes a devastating new presence...



Top left is the new Mountainside Fortress, and a new castle set flanks the field on the right. A pit of magma crossable only by bridge forces the army into a long line of men... Assuming they survive.

 

A view of Dan's side of the field, complete with glacier, castle and blurry army. 

An overall view, because we really need more of those.

 

 Some more generic views of strategic positioning and awesome field.

The armies

 My skeleton army, a force to be reckoned with. Skeletons get +1 to all rolls when near skeletal mage (not very visible in this picture)

 

 

 A rather squashed version of what would have been a magnificent fortress and King Dragon. Both will be uploaded to our upcoming "Creations" page, where you can look at stats and cool views.

 

Probably the most intimidating picture in the entire report, the King Dragon glares at Dan through the camera lens. Dan shortly after had to go to the bathroom... Is it really THAT scary? 

 

 Dan's noble army of knights in shining armor, several of which are cowards in disguise, but you'll find out about that later.

The battle begins... slowly, as usual.

Both armies stare each other down, despite them not being in each other's field of vision. It's a mental stare down. Objectives... Well, Dan needs to kill the King Dragon, who can't be killed. Good luck with that. I need to find the Holy Grail and corrupt it with demonic magic in order to bring upon the world a plague that would eat away at all flesh, leaving a skeleton army for me to command. On that happy note...

 

My army, with mage and Fallen Angel at the back, ready to corrupt the Holy Grail with demonic magic in order to bring upon the world a plague that would eat away at all flesh, leaving a skeleton army for me to command.

 

We move up, and the Fallen Angel ends up at the front due to flight.

 

Dan's army knows what their up against, so they sweat inside their armor, hoping nobody will notice.

 So he moves up somewhat, the pre-battle anxiety lowering his movement slightly... Or that could be the lack of possible ways to continue towards his objective.

 

Now, skeletons are either stupid or determined. The intelligent thing to do would be to mobilize, hack away all movement reducing plants and continue with a clear path of retreat if necessary. Instead, we prepare to plow through, losing about an inch of movement on all minifigs.

 

  Dan's archers move up, hoping to pick off some skeletons to make progressing much easier. See, top left hand corner, is a Demon Gate. To get past it, you need to despawn it. To despawn it, you need a sacrifice and a high roll. On the left, there is a void. Unpassable unless a structure is built over it. No raw material, hence no structure.

  Slightly unclear, but my Fallen Angel has flown up to the citadel, where the holy grail lies. A genius plan hatches. My Mage will attempt a destructive blast to the citadel to knock it over, while my Fallen Angel will attempt to use a whip to catch the falling Grail which is at the top of the Citadel, Indiana Jones style.

 Nothing is perfect. Even less so was this idea. The citadel fell over the wrong way, my Fallen Angel lost his wings, reducing movement by quite a bit, and the grail...

 

Got... eaten by the demon gate. Who's idea was it to put that there? I really don't think it was mine... Was it?
Dan edits: Ya, it was. good job.

 

My mage and I equally disappointed, but since he's a minifig, he gets a picture.

 

 Taken at an odd angle, my skeleton comrades wave a bony goodbye as they separate into two distinct parties: The group that would guard the bridge, and the group that would go to reclaim the holy grail.

 

Dan cleverly positions his archers to snipe out my skeletons as they go through the gate... Which I planned to despawn.

 

 Some more random positioning. Can't be bothered to remember whats going on. So I'll take this post to subtly inform you that the layout of the field will be changing soon to make for a more generic battlefield, as well as eliminating all the suck and creating a more geographically realistic landscape. Which involves money. Our seafoam baseplate will be gone soon, so if you like it, tough, and if you hate it... So do we. Our citadel will be improved, seeing as it plays a good objective marker in most of our storylines, and is a cool idea in general. More on that on our front-page though. I've stalled for thinking time enough.

 

Brilliant idea. While Dan's archers were perfectly positioned to snipe out skeletons coming through the demon gate, they weren't in a position to... AVOID GETTING HIT WITH MASSIVE CHUNKS OF MARBLE LEVITATED OVER FROM THE CITADEL AND BROUGHT DOWN WITH TONS OF FORCE ON THEIR HEADS WHILE THEY WERE WAITING FOR ME! OWNED!
Dan edits: shut up.

 

Soldier: "... LEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY!!!111!one!!!eleven1!"

 

 The mage quite pleased with himself.

 

I'm almost convinced that this happened earlier, but from the marble at the base of the ramp, I'd say it was my imagination. Whip and sword combo on a sneaking archer results in a severed head at the base of the ramp and a bruised and decapitated body just off the precipice.

Once more, not sure whats going on. Dan takes too many random photos and doesn't mention why.  I swear I only use half the stuff we upload, since most of it is concept shots and other random stuff I don't care about. We'll create a "Useless Photo" page for you to have fun with Dan.
Dan edits: ok. it cna be usd for pics of the feild

 

Dan appears to have some type of strategy here. I highly doubt he's going to attempt to cross the bridge.

Dan's wizard has discovered the mystical Questing Gate. What awaits him? A brief vision is all that can tell.

The brief vision. Yes, that is my couch in the backround. Incredibly comfortable, really. It folds out into a bed. I've had it for a while now... Why am I talking about my couch?

A brave (or stupid) soldier progresses toward the stick laying on the bridge. I'm wondering what it's for... Well, actually, you are.

His efforts are not rewarded.

Faltering at his comrades death, the soldier proceeds to "put his brave face on" and press on.

The soldier with his "brave face on", grabs the staff and progresses somewhat down the bridge.

Two skeletons are impaled by a sword through the chests. The reason? The soldier has attained "Hero of War" status, giving him temporary Hero stats. "Hero of War" status is given to those who play a major role in the plot or completion of objectives. It cannot be given to heroes.

 

 Not happy, the skeletons begin to lose contact with the mage due to an interference in the signal known as "pain", or the magical equivalent of it.

Miniquest: Quest for the Dragonstone

Well... The wizard has arrived on the dreaded Quest Island. It takes any shape it needs to. The Quest Island now takes place on a beach surrounded by a little water, and Nothing-ness. The Miniquest revolves around the concept of success and failure. In otherwords, anything less than success is failure. Any non-critical success rolls are discounted. The mage is given 10 health, while each dragon dies with a critical success on the attack die... A D20. Banishment allows the mage to dispel any attacks from a particular dragon for a turn, by moving it out of reach. As a side note, the entire miniquest occurs  before anything else can happen. The amount of turns it takes is then compensated for, before resuming the game in real time with the Quester returned after the final turn he took is compensated for. Onto what becomes a 7 turn Quest.

Begin.

 

 Dragon advances.

First dragon is destroyed. The wizard incinerates him into nothing.

 Wizard loses some health. The main thing to look at is the blocks at the back of the picture. It's what is actually happening.

 A small change.

 

 Wizard takes a hit.

 

 Dan is useless at rolling die, and manages to do nothing.

 Slight regeneration. You know, I could be using the same dragon picture and just photoshopping the blocks in for all you know.

Well, actually, I couldn't. I use GIMP, not Photoshop.

 

 I find GIMP to be better... Much easier to use, with similar results.

 Plus it's free, right? Much better deal.

Everything is nicely organized, so adding brushes is as simple as dragging and dropping.

 

 Who can't drag and drop?

You don't deserve a computer if you can't.

You seriously don't.

 CHRIST DAN, HURRY UP!

 The wizard is successful. About time if you ask me. There lies the Holy Dragonstone of Antioch.

The Battle rages on.

Thank god, finally. A brief overview of where we left off before Dan decided to suck so much with the die.

A competent craftsman arrives, and opens up shop conveniently near the quest gate.

 

Dan's army decides to grab all the marble that brought about the demise of his archers and do something with it.

 Perhaps an alternative method of getting to the craftsman.

 The bearer of the stick uses up the rest of his "Hero of War" status to zip past my waiting skeletons.

More random overview.

I catch up with the stick bearer and with an "Attack from Behind" bonus, sever his head.

 

 The stick lands over there.

 

 Dan's shirt plus overview.

Dan manages to get some man-power on the rubble at the cost of dropping some weaponry.

 

 Some rubble is laid across the void, but here at RedClay, we never half-ass a job. So we took the few extra turns.

 My Mage manages to get the Despawning spell right, and ends up with the Grail.

 

 Triumphantly advancing.

 

 Demon gate back where it belongs.

 

 A job well done for a few marble scraps, no? The craftsman sleeping from boredom can be seen.

 

 The wizard returns with the Dragonstone.

 No idea. I honestly don't know what just happened. I think that the knights hastily prepared for an assault from the area where the Demon Gate was.

 Some soldiers progress to the craftsman over the bridge, and some remain to hold off my army.

 

 Not really successful. I come in and massacre.

More.

 

 The wizard proffers the Dragonstone to the craftsman, who says there isn't a lot he can make with it at the moment.

 

 The King grabs the stick, only to be confronted by some skeletons.

 

The king calls for some backup.

 I continue to massacre Dan's army. He really is useless with a die.

 

 I think Dan landed a hit on me there... Not entirely sure.

 

 

 The king dies... And the two faithful knights loot his stuff.

 

 And run away. They present both the Dragonstone and the Stick to the craftsman, who mutters something about a legendary weapon.

 

He looks at it for a moment, before procuring...

 

 The legendary Dragonspear of Antioch, the only treasure in the history of universe #02 to be able to kill a King Dragon.

 

 The mage makes it to an ancient alter where he can begin to corrupt the grail.

 

 The wizard, with power flowing through him, makes a giant teleportation spell.

 

 All the Knights are taken with him.

 

 And so it begins...

The final Showdown

The knights bravely rush the King Dragon, inspired by the presence of the spear.

 

 The King Dragon simultaneously bites the heads off two soldiers.

 

 Ripping them off and enjoying the taste of warm blood rushing down it's throats.

 

 Another stupidly rushes the Dragon...

 

 And the Dragon grabs it...

Flies up... And...

...Places him gently back down on the ground.

 The Dragon decides to roll for an actual attack. Yes, those were just "Quick Actions" for the King Dragon.

 

 In addition to the King Dragon Bonus to all rolls (+8859 to all rolls), this makes his roll... OVER NINETHOUSAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 The result is complete and utter oblideration.

 

The dragon roars, and the Wizard noticed it's weakness just as Antioch had. He goes for it.

 

 It hit... He actually hit.  Maybe Dan doesn't suck with dice so much...
Dan edits: i didnt rol for tht, member/

 So much stress on that shot, the wizard has a heart attack. He'll pull through, assuming...

 

 Assuming my mage doesn't corrupt the world by sacrificing the King Dragon to the Holy grail... Wait, what? The King Dragon... But that would be sacrificing nothing...

 

 Ladies, Gentlemen and dimmies alike, thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed and continue to enjoy as you take battles much like these in your own hands with the fantastic world of Brikwars.