Armageddon is the first completed battle by Red Clay Studios, which is ironic, as it is also the last battle set in that particular universe. Now, without further ado, the battle report, for Armageddon.
A birds eye view of the field. In the center there is the Garn-ok swamp. On the south side (closest to this text) is the mountain of doom, and the desert. On the east side there is the Oddandoutofplace Glacier, which is flanked by two towers, and is in front of a Dimmie breeding ground. Bottom left is the citadel, which is also flanked by a tower. Furthest north, the giant castle.
Daniel's army, sitting in the bottom right hand corner of the universe. His objective lies at the top of the giant castle, to which only one army can obtain the key... All Exo-Force minifigures, and not very many at that, Daniel's forces will be hard pressed to survive this climatic battle.
The army led by the mysterious "Matt". The figure at the foot of the steps is not in his possesion. "Matt"'s objective is to obtain the banner at the top of the large grey tower next to the Oddandoutofplace Glacier. He must cross perilous swamp, forge through blistering cold, and fight through several armies to get there.
WHATS THIS?!?!!?!?!? DIMMIES?!!?!? IN A BRIKWARS BATTLE?!?!?! ANARCHY I SAY!
Yes, the Dimmies have massed what little forces they could arrange a meeting with, due to their incapability of intelligent communication, intelligent methods of transport, or anything intelligent in general. Armed with what they can find, the Dimmies will fight... FOR STUPID SETS AND HORRIBLE LEGO CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE!!!
Portrayed in this accidentally shrunk picture, the core of Adam's army. Hidden behind the citadel, lies an ax wielding ninja. The forces of Adam's army must obtain the frozen key in the Oddandoutofplace Glacier, and use it to lower the drawbridge in the castle.
A better shot of the core of Adam's army. Visible are, from left to right: An angry jedi, the minigun wielding capitan of the intergalactic legion, a resident of Pueblo (Resident Evil 4) an ax wielding ninja, a Grunt, 2 more Pueblo residents, a demolitions expert, and a warhammer wielding knight.
The semi-intelligence behind the Dimmie assault: The fearsome Dimmie mage! Capable of summoning up terribly constructed creations, the Dimmie feels fit to call himself a mage. He will lead the Dimmie army to an amusing and death filled end, whether it be filled with their own death, or the death of others.
As Adam's turn is about to begin, Daniel feels the need to take some ominous looking overhead shots by standing on a chair, absolutely determined to make Adam's camera run out of memory. This shot reveals the intricate positioning of the core of Adam's forces.
Read above caption for the reason for this picture.
Also, only now revealed is a desert hover board.
A shot of the glacier.
A shot of the swamp.
A shot of a tower, and a set of bunkers.
Because we forgot to do it earlier, an overhead shot of the mysterious "Matt"'s army.
The Dimmies have cornered a bunch of nervous peseants, and are proceeding to torment them with their idiotic attempts at attacks.
Now, with all that said, the battle can begin. We will be periodically showing overhead shots of the current state of carnage and gore. Hope you enjoy!
Adam's turn begins.
The captain of the Intergalactic Legion moves from Adam's primary formation, and decides to attack 2 members of Daniel's army, which was unwittingly positioned within firing range of Adam's minigun. Only one member was killed, the other got away.
Although the dimwit who took this photo removed the key items from it, the angry jedi, seen in the bottom right hand corner took the desert hover board, and moved it to his current position, where it was taken by another member of Adam's army, and driven through the swamp.
(Daniel is taking the photos)
The black knight rode through the swamp, expending the movement he had to end up right next to the first part of his objective: The key.
The pueblo farmers march up from their original positions, and the demolitions expert takes aim at the left wing of Dan's army, where 1/14 of his troops lie slaughtered due to a minigun. Adam's dice prove to be loyal to his cause, and the below result is achieved.
2 robots, a human and a corpse are blown to pieces by a well placed rocket and a nice critical success. Dan is laughing until tears are coming out of his eyes at this point, because that is about half his army gone. I think he's going hysterical.
Dan decides to run away, but leaves a single iron drone (the only one he has left) to attempt a retaliation. He fails miserably, and passes the measuring tape and dice to the mysterious "Matt".
The mysterious "Matt" decides to get straight to the point, and organizes his army into semi formation, by dropping several down from the wall, and advancing several forward.
The peasants tremble in horror as a disgrace to their kind stands before them. The Dimmies begin to advance, attempting to do something to the peasants.
Which fails miserably... One Dimmie attempts to throw his paddle at the peasants, and manages to hit himself in the face.
This one drops his frying pan on his leg, and proceeds to yell in pain.
This Dimmie steps backwards, and trips over another Dimmies lance, and almost cuts his head off, stopped only by the fact that he didn't know how to turn the saw on.
Much more sinister than his comrades, the Dimmie mage summons "Horrible and poorly constructed wall" in front of the mysterious "Matt"'s army, and teleports away.
Self explanatory. The food of the human overlords, accompanied by Mountain Dew.
The current state of the battlefield. This is kind of like a recap. The angry jedi stands there, waiting for something to happen. The black knight is charging up the desert board's I0n laser, aiming it at the blue flag that holds the key.
Well, the Captain of the Intergalactic Legion decides to take another shot at Dan's army, but fails, and spins around from the force of his gun, shooting one of Adam's own ax wielding ninjas.
As seen there.
A brief laser blast later, the black knight is in possession of the key. Now all he needs to do is get to the castle... But wait... The Dimmie's wall is still there! What to do?!?!
A critical moment in history: The angry jedi is forced to call a temporary team-up with Dan's army. Neither side is too happy with it: Adam can't slaughter Dan any more, and Dan can't pay Adam back for taking out a giant portion of Dan's un-reinforced army. But, nonetheless, the treaty is made, and the arrangement is as such: We don't attack eachother until the doors to the castle are open. Adam needs to open the doors to lower the drawbridge to allow an informant of Adam's to escape from the torture chamber, and Dan needs to rescue the banner in distress at the top of the tower.
Allied with Adam's forces, Dan's army can continue on towards the deadly Black Knight without fear of his katana.
The mysterious "Matt" has discovered an explosive device that was hidden in that crate. He makes his way towards it, hoping to blow up the wall.
He manages to warn his other troops, and they begin to move away from the intended landing place of the bomb, either moving to the side of the wall, or backing away from it, leaving a clear space of 6 inches, which is the estimated diameter of the blast.
Adam moves the Captain forward, as well as the Pueblo residents, leaving the demolitions expert to guard the door to the grey tower from a distance of 13".
The mysterious "Matt"'s troops back away a bit more and wait with bated breath as the bomb is thrown, landing 2 inches from the wall.
The blast knocks apart the Dimmie wall, leaving the mysterious "Matt"'s troops free to plow forward. It also leaves Dan and Adam free to proceed to the castle, and attempt to achieve their goal.
The mysterious "Matt" advances 3 of his troops as a precautionary guard against any hostile forces that may be in his way. Little does he know, that there are few forces in this world that are NOT hostile.
Upon hearing the whine of a minigun, the mysterious "Matt" knows the above statement to be true, as one of Adam's minigun wielding troops mulches one of the mysterious "Matt"'s precautionary guards from a wonderful distance.
A wonderful view of the current level of destruction... But don't worry, it gets better!
High above the battlefield, a troop carrier was awaiting the signal it just recieved: bring in backup!
Flying over the swamp, the troop carrier carries out its ordered drop of reinforcements, specially designed to set up a surprise attack on the leading edge of the mysterious "Matt"'s forces.
Dropped into the water, this viking executes a dual weapon attack, using a combination of his sword and his ax to swiftly remove the mysterious "Matt"'s guard's head. His backup has just pulled himself out of the water, and is waiting for further instructions.
On the other side of the battlefield, a peach cleanup crew begins to collect the carnage leftover from the beginning of the battle. His efforts however, are not appreciated.
You killed the carnage cleaner...? Who's going to clean up his carnage?
Some stuff happens... not quite sure whats going on here though. What you can see however, are two minigun barrels moving into position.. I think thats what I was doing to, because I kill something with them really soon...
The Dimmie mage laughs stupidly at the peasants, and attempts another spell. The result is here.
There's nothing going on here...
WHAT?!?!? Yes. The Dimmie mage used his magic to turn the Dimmies into a squad, and teleport them over here. He now begins gathering the Dimmies life force, and starts to assimilate it into a spell.
I was right! Here, Adam's British soldier uses a minigun to mulch one of the mysterious "Matt"'s soldiers, leaving the others unscratched. The atmosphere gets tense here, because the mysterious "Matt" is too attached to his soldiers, and claims that we're picking on him... He is now advised to remember what this game is about. The Captain moves along the sidelines of the bunkers.
Since the peasants had nothing better to do...
They decided to teleport over to this offering table.
Where two were promptly beheaded by a ninja that had remained behind to guard the citadel. We think he was scared of dying.
The fearsome Black Knight opens the gates, and smells victory, but is unable to taste it for two reasons: A) he is wearing a helmet, and cannot eat or taste anything through it B) He can no longer move, due to the fact that he has expended all his movement for this turn.
THE DOORS ARE OPEN! THE DOORS ARE OPEN! In the course of about a second, the team up between Adam and Daniel ends violently. Adam's angry jedi uses his lightsaber to decapitate one of Dan's guys... Now, the funny part.
Afraid of what Dan will do to punish Adam for not ending the team up in a civilized manner, and walking away, Adam decides to eliminate all of Dan's surrounding troops in order to allow his units to escape from Dan's army. A spider drone is ransacked by an ax+mace attack.
Adam uses a minigunner in the swamp to kill two of Dan's soldiers, in order to give the angry jedi a safe getaway.
But one of Dan's snipers gets a headshot in, and takes out the angy jedi.
Not quite sure what happened here, but I'll take a guess: Dan tried to use his lightsaber wielding robot to execute a spinning attack against Adam's Ax+mace knight, but rolled a critical failure, and killed two of his own guys.
A shot of what this section of the battle looked like at that time.
An overhead view of whats going on.
The mysterious "Matt" summons some skeletal reinforcements.
The minifigs can feel it. It's happening. The world is at an end. The Black Knight stands so close to his goal.
He throws the key into the keyhole.
THE DRAWBRIDGE IS OPEN! THIS MEANS ADAM WINS... The earth trembles. It trembles again.
The Dimmie mage casts his spell. The god governing the use of magic, Kime Hwakary (Unscramble the letters) decides that the time has come. If Dimmies can use magic, than this world is no longer sacred. He begins the end of the world.
The world grows dark.
Then it grows darker.
Flames begin to envelop this perverse creation, where Dimmies are as gifted as minifigs.
If any of these armies meet again, it will not be in this world.
Because this world no longer exists.
And that was The Battle Of Armageddon.
Yay! Our first battle done! Tell us what you think at the Brikwars forums!