Knightmare Episode Guide

Knightmare Episode Guide
A guide to every episode of Knightmare



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Series 1


Series 1




Series 1 Episode 1


The opening titles roll for the first time ever.

The camera focuses on the fire and then zooms out to show Treguard.

“Welcome watchers of Illusion, to the Castle of Confusion.  Phase with us now for this is the time of adventure.  I, Treguard, issue the challenge.  Beyond that portal [points to door into dungeon] lies the dungeon of deceit, which I alone have mastered but those of you who cross the boundaries of time must master it also.  The first is now without so… enter stranger!”

A dungeoneer appears in front of the door.

“Who challenges my dungeon?” Treguard asks.

“David Campbell,” David Campbell answers.

“You have some previous experience of dungeoneering I hope,”

“Yes I have”

“And what reward do you seek?” Treguard asks.

“I seek knighthood”

“That will not be possible, only the first step to knighthood can be taken here.  Squiredom is the reward for surviving the dungeon for silver proceeds gold and the silver spurs of the squire will be yours, if you survive.  Now you know you may have three advisors to aid you on your quest.  Call them to us please.”

“David, James, Lucien, come!” David calls and three advisors appear in the chairs.

“There, well I can’t say I’m over impressed but then appearances as we know are so often deceptive.  Who guides this dungeoneer?

“I am David Hemp from Cranfield in Bedfordshire.”

“James Hogget from Wooden, Bedfordhire.”

“Lucien Morris from Cranfield, Bedfordshire.”

“Well I’m sure you’ll do and if you don’t someone will find the results amusing.  Now, to matters of the most serious.  David, your quest through the dungeon is for truth and justice.  Justice, of course is blind and when you don this helmet, you’ll also become blind though you’ll find there’s just enough vision to find and examine objects directly beneath.  You others that remain, with magic, can be your eyes.  Their voices will reach you through the helmet.  Now the dungeon ahead is an aliant place, and so to sustain your progress a sprite of energy will travel with you [life force appears on screen].  This is it's manifestation.  It is your own life force and must be fed with food, which will be occasionally found on your quest.  This is condition green.  On condition red, you are in great peril for this is no game for a player with numerous lives and when this one's done, your adventure is over [hands knapsack to David].  To feed your life force, you place any food in this knapsack.  But place only food there because any other objects will also be consumed.  You will of course find other objects on your quest, choose them and use them with care.  And remember, you may only carry two at a time.  Now, I'm constrained to offer you certain final warnings so listen to my words very carefully.  On your quest, I shall be with you and yet not with you for there are places in the dungeon where even I may not safely go.  The way to truth is tortuious, there is no correct route through the dungeon but the right path can be found using logic and gial.  The only way is onward, there is no turning back..."

"Well, David, do you still wish to enter the quest?"

"Yes, I do."

"Very well [hands David helmet which he puts on], turn then, face the door and take a step forwards..."


Level 1

"Where am I?"

David walks into a grey room with foor doors.

"You're in a reasonably large room.  Ahead of you, on the wall, there are two doors with portcullises in them.  To your right and left diagonally there are also two portcullises.  Two exits with portcullises in each of them."

Four yellow letters appear randomly on the floor - N, O, E and P. 

"On the floor, there are four letters.  These are N, P, O and E.  The letter in front of you is E."

One of the advisors noticed that the letters spelt 'OPEN'. 

"You're wasting energy, Team." says Treguard.  He tells them that this puzzle is indeed very simple.

"Take the right steps for further progress!" says Treguard.

They direct him to the P. 

"Remember, that that does not read right must be spelt correctly."  Treguard gives another clue.

They tried making him say 'Open' even though Treguard told them to take the right steps!!

James Hogget realised that he could pick the letters up.  They direct him to the P again.

"Remember, spelt correctly!" Treguard reminds them again.  Not a very, good team I think!

They then direct him to the O after a long while.  The life force appears on the screen as they direct him to the P.

"Hurry team, life force energy is fading."

They collect the P and then the E and then the N.  During the process, the letters appeared above the four doors in order.  The door under the E opens and they direct him to it.


"Where am I?"  Indeed, David and Team had reached the clue room.  There was a table in front of him with some objects on it.

One of the advisors then gives a very posh and accurate description of the room!

They direct him to the table and he picks up the meat pie for life force.  They try taking the ruby but Treguard interrupts them and tells them to stand still because manifestation is occuring.

A wall monster appears on the wall.

"You are relatively fortunate, this is a wall monster, category Level 1.  Such minor malignance feed on life force but usually allow their victims to survive," Treguard tells them, "because they're not very bright, they delight in stupidity.  In this case, your stupidity."

"I am Olgarth of Legend.  I have riddles of different times, of different legends.  Three riddles have I, and truth I seek.  One truth will pass you, two may aid you and three commands me.  Fail all three AND I FEED ON YOU!"

Treguard tells the team to listen and repeats what Olgarth just said, which is a bit pointless really but says that he would give them magic for a perfect score.

"Here is my first.  On Earth I was born.  Deep fires tempered me.  Mountains slept on me.  My father was younger than I and a sculpter gave me my face.  What am I made of?"

The team think it's stone.

"Truth accepted.  Here is my second.  Made like me, the mountains stand.  The tallest object in our land.  Give name to him."

The team don't know but after a lot of discussion try stone again!

"Falsehood.  Ben Nevis was the truth I sought.  Here is my third.  Once by magic I was cleft.  In my chest a sword was left.  Ten years of pain I then endured.  Then came a prince who pulled it forth.  Name him now and gain reward."

After a bit of discussion but not as much as last time, they try King Arthur.

"Truth accepted.  Two is the score.  You may know more.  Justice lies on the right but he who seeks it must be fleet of foot.  I hunger yet we may meet again."

"David, you'll have to leave the objects now!" one of the advisors says.  How stupid! Why leave them because the wall monster's gone!

"You must take some objects!" Treguard reminds them.

They decided to take the ruby and the charm and they just stopped him putting the ruby in the knapsack!

They direct him out.


"Where am I?"

The team are in a bomb room.  David has just came out of a door and there is a bomb in front of him.  To his left is a door. 

"David, you're in a smallish room and there are two exits.  You just came through one.  There's another one to your left."

The bomb is lit and they decide to get him out!


David is in another bomb room! There is a door quite a long way in front of him and a door on the left wall, which is portcullised.  The bomb is already lit.  They decide to get him out again!


They are in a rocky cavern and Lillith is on a rock on the opposite side.  The team give a long description of the cavern.

"Warning, Team.  She commands here.  She will not tollerate my presence.  Even as I speak, she rejects me.  She rejects me!"

Lillith is moving her cloak about and the view of Treguard soars into the serpent's mouth.

"BE GONE!" Lillith shouts, "no master but a mistress rules here.  I am called Lillith and this is my domain.  And the only way on is through the serpent's mouth."

And of course there was a pit on the path to the mouth.  Lillith laughs.

"What is more, I do not particularly care for visitors.  You certainly cannot stay.  So you must leave.  And when you do so, kindly use the alternative exit.  Just a few steps forward please.  Come on.  Hurry."

One of the advisors tell David not to move.

Lillith tells them to be silent and says she can see and hear them.  She says that she might just spare him if David had anything that might interest her.

He offers her a ruby.

"Hurry hurry!" The advisors say don't move.

"Wait, wait." Lillith summons the causeway.

"Rock to rock and stone to stone,

"Span the pit and cross the zone!" The chasm gets longer and leads to the serpent's mouth.

"Now bring it to me, boy!"

They direct him to Lillith and give her the ruby.

"Farewell!" Lillith laughs.  It appears at this point that David walks through a rock, but never mind.

He goes through the serpent's mouth.


David is in a long corridor with a door on the left and right wall.  They have symbols below each of them.  The one on the left is the same as the charm in David's hand.  Treguard warns them because it is the Corridor of the Catacombs and tells them to exit with haste.  I don't know why Treguard always tells the team they are in danger in this corridor because sometimes there's nothing there of danger, like now!

Because it's the same as the charm in their hand, they go for the door on the left.


They are in a dark room and there is light only just to see David and they ask him to walk forward, just a bit.

The light doesn't move with them, they walk into black.

"Warning, Team.  You should have taken the magic lamp when you had the chance.  It would have been enough to have remembered the symbol.  Now I can do nothing for you, even if I wished.  This darkness is caused by something that doesn't like intruders.  Even now it's taking it's dislike felt.  Look at your life force lock, condition red.  Their last idea is to hold the charm up but that doesn't work.


A spooky version of the Knightmare theme tune is played over the death sequence which is a bit weird actually, because it is usually shown by gongs.

"Oh dear, what a pity.  Never mind.  If you're worried about David and what you're going to say to his parents, you needn't be.  Just look in your magic mirror and you'll see that David, although he perished in the dungeon, has survived in the reality your call 'your time'.  Time now for you to join him.  Spellcasting: D I S M I S S." Treguard says farewell and tells them to take the scrolls on the rock.

"Ah well, life goes on or not as they say and there are still deeds to do before time flies."

And that deed is to start a new quest.



"Enter, stranger.  Who dares the dungeon next?"

"Mave Macavoy."

"Call your advisors to us."

"Christina, David, Lee, come!"

"And name yourselves!"

The team introduce themselves.  They are from Lancashire.

"Now that we have the next victims [laugh], I mean team, we can commence."

Much of Treguard's speech is repeated so I will leave it out.

"Turn then and take a step forward..."


Level 1

There are in the same room as Team 1 started in.  The foor doors are portcullised and the letters S, M, A, E, S and E appear on the floor.

Treguard gives them a clue.  "To open the way ahead, you seek a magic word and just as with all spells it must be spelt correctly."

They realise it spells 'Sesame' and they direct Mave to the S.  They turn her right and onto the E.  This time the letters are appearing above the two far doors.  They direct her to the same S as she stepped on before.  She steps on the E and then the team realises that it's A next.  They then take her to the A and then the M.  She then takes the final letter, the E.  The far left door opens.  They direct her.


The camera then focuses on Treguard and the fire.

"Warning, Team.  Complete temporal disruption approaching.  Time is now the enemy," Treguard says.  The fire stops burning.

"Oh dear, temporal disruption complete.  Time flies as the Romans would say although all continues in your world, here time has flown.  All adventuring must now cease until you phase with us once more.  Will our team triumph on the next level? [the camera focuses on the frozen team] or will our dungeoneer come to a sticky end? [the camera focuses on the frozen dungeon]  And if so, why should you care? For here, nothing is real and everything must surely be an illusion.  Join us again for Knightmare and just keep telling yourself, it's only a game, isn't it?"


The credits roll over Mave frozen in the first room.

Series 1 Episode 1 Poll

Series 1 Episode 2


The opening titles roll again for the second time ever!

Treguard welcomes us to the dungeon.

"Welcome, watchers of illusion, to the Castle of Confusion.  Phase with us again once more for this is the age of adventure.  I, Treguard, master of the dungeon, give you audience.  Watch now you, armchair adventurers while others braver than yourselves challenge the secrets of my lair.  A quest is now in progress, so here's a progress report."  Here is the first progress report of all time, in the early series it was a little poem!

"Our first team came from Bedfordshire,

They boldly went and bravely tried,

And though they bribed their way to fame,

They still forgot the vital flame,

And so when darkness blackly fell,

Their game was up, and so farewell,

Now the dungeon is challenged by dungeoneer Mave

And her three advisors, four adventurers from Lancashire,

They're out to prove that Northern Brits

Can conquer all by broad and wits,

And now time turns, the fire burns, time out is gone, the quest is on!"


Level 1

The quest continues in the first room with one door open under the word 'Sesame'.

Treguard congratulates them but says the way ahead could be mined and that they would have to step quickly.  He says that the bombs make an awful mess and that they've been having some problems lately!

They direct her out of the room.


They're now in a bomb room.  There is a door to Mave's left.  They start directing her forwardbut stepped back and got out just in time!


Mave is in a room with two exits at the end but the one on the left is broken down.  Treguard warns them that worms would be present and warned them that all contact is deadly.  A snake appears in front of the left door.

After some quite bad guiding, they get her out of the room.  I don't see how the snake could kill them but oh well...


The next room is the Level 1 clue room, the same clue room as David was in.  There is a table in the middle of the room and it has objects on it: some bread, some soap, a bar of gold and a comb.  She takes the bread to put her life force back on status green.  Treguard says that they have delayed too long in this chamber (I don't think they have because every team that come into this room face the wall monster!) and a wall monster appears on the wall.  Treguard says that they are fortunate because it is only a wall monster but there never has been anything else guarding this room.  He tells them that he is called Olgarth and to defeat him with wit.

"This one is most definitely not called Olgarth! I AM GRANITAS OF LEGEND!" He says that he should not be confused with Olgarth! They don't seem to like each other...

He says that for some reason, some humans find his name amusing.  He says that he is not amusing.  The team start to decide which objects to take!  Granitas interrupts them in mid-decision!

"I have riddles, of different times, of different legends.  Three riddles have I and truth is what I seek," Granitas says and then he explains what the scores mean and yet again Tregaurd repeats exactly what Granitas just said!

The team know the answer really quickly and they are correct! Mave starts saying 'shall we take the soap?'!

"Wait for the next riddle!" Granitas says.

They take a while answering and eventually get it right!

The third riddle requires them to name the sword that was found in a stone.  They get that right aswell!

"Three is the score, you may know more.  All that glitters is not gold but you may have to wash the mouth out."

Treguard reminds them to shout 'I command you'.

"Oh very well! Magic have I none but this I know.  All that glitters is not gold (he's already said that!) and she that lies in wait cares more about her appearance more than base metal."

They pick up just the soap and then direct her out of the room.  I don't get this because you can have two objects, can't you!


They are now in Lillith's Lair.  Lillith is on the other side in a bundle.  She shouts at them for being unannounced visitors and shows them that she hasn't even had time to do her hair and tells them to apologise.  She tells them that their is just some chance that they may be able to be allowed to pass through the serpent's mouth if they give her something.  They offer her the soap and she shouts at them.

"A BLOCK OF SOAP?? Kindly explain how I am supposed to comb my hair with that! I lose all patience with you! I will have to throw you out, I have no time for those who bumble so boulders crack and that ledge crumble!! Nice of you to drop in!" Lillith laughs.


"Oh dear, what a pity, never mind.  Mave appears to have suffered a fatal fall.  What a shame you didn't take the comb when it was so obviously needed.  Now your adventure is over but I'm glad to say that's not the end of Mave.  Look in your magic mirror and you'll see that although she perished in the dungeon she has survived in the reality you call your time.  Time now for you to join her.  Spellcasting: D I S M I S S.  Farewell, Mave.  Take those scrolls for proof of your short journey through the dungeon.  You did well, but I'm afraid you fell.  The path there leads back to your time so farewell, Mave, Christina, Lee and David.



Treguard starts a new quest: "Enter, Stranger!"

"Who dares the dungeon next?"

"Simon Nickles."  Simon calls his advisors and they all introduce themselves.

Treguard goes through the usual start about life force, the helmet of justice, etc.


Level 1

Simon is in the four doors room.  Three doors have portculisses over them and one has a key hole in it.  Three pieces of a key appear on the floor.  They direct him to the three pieces in order and the key appears above the two far doors and the locked door opens.


Simon is on a ledge and there is a giant's head to his right, standing in a pit, snoring.  The giant wakes up.

"Go away, humans.  Humans is nuisance.  Humans is just too small, careless too.  Humans should stay away from real-sized people,"

Treguard says: "Charming, isn't he?" He warns them that he won't harm him except if he's really hungry.

The giant says that he gets human when he sneezes and says he's going to sneeze now.  The team wisely direct Simon out.


Simon is now in the Level 1 clue room.  They direct him to the table which has objects on it: a pie, a talisman or charm, a key and a cloth.  A wall monster then appears on the wall.  Treguard guesses it is Granitas.

"I am Olgarth of legend.  Granitas is unworthy to be called a rock!"

"Oh well, wrong again! The trouble with wall monsters is that they hardly have any personality so it's hard to tell one from another," Treguard says.

"As do dungeon masters!" Olgarth argues back.  He tells them that he has three different riddles.

The first riddle Simon and team get right.

They get the second riddle right, naming the four elements.

They get the third riddle right again! A perfect score!

"Three is the score, you may know more.  The key to the door is not always key-shaped.  I hunger yet we may meet again." 

"I command you!" Simon calls out after a reminder from Treguard.

"Oh, very well! Magic have I none but this I know: she who lies in wait desires her favour," Olgarth tells them.

They take the cloth (or silk scarf) and the talisman.  They direct him out of the room.


Simon is in a bomb room.  They quickly direct him through the door on his left.


Temporal Disruption Time! It's the end of the episode.  They just have got through the door in the bomb room yet where they are next is unknown until the next episode...

"It's only a game, isn't it?"

Series 1 Episode 2 Poll


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