Eiji did as told, and licked every last droplet of seed away, swallowing it hungrily.
He was quickly appreciating this Owner, though there was still quite the level of distrust for him. Going from slapping Eiji to suddenly so sweet only made him all the more cautious-- this was the sign of the dangerous type who kept their aggression under wraps.

Nonetheless, he didn't object at the prospect of a bath as he was pulled off the bed.
Eiji stumbled slightly, unused to walking at the speed his Owner was, but did manage to reach the bathroom door, holding onto the doorjamb tightly as his owner moved about the room, preparing a bath.

He was salivating at the idea of being completely clean, but kept his expression blank. Eiji moved towards Owner when a hand was extended to him, and did his best to get into the large tub. He looked up at his owner half-expectantly, waiting for something, anything...

To be pushed underwater in an attempted drowning, to be joined in the bath... just... something.

Reven sighed. He handed him the cloth, and wondered if he would have to wash the man down - he looked confused still, though he'd seemed eager enough at the sight of the tub.

Reven had noticed the shiver of pleasure in his body, though he'd kept his expression very blank. Reven wondered for the first time whether there was more behind this dulled persona than he'd thought.

"You want me to do it?" he asked, his voice low. Not that he would have minded... there'd been many times when Inoue had bathed him, when he'd been too exhausted, or injured, or just plain playing for the attention...

To his surprise, the man took the cloth quite quickly, and there might even have been a shake of his head. Reven nodded back, pleased. Eiji's eyes still stared up at him though, as he stood at the door. That same expression as when he'd knelt at his groin to serve him.

"No," said Reven, understanding. "I'm not expecting anything else. You just need to get clean, OK? And you'll be safe enough here - there's only me here, and I'm going to go see to supper." The man's eyes flickered again, and Reven wondered if this was the only way they'd ever communicate. "For both of us, Eiji. Inoue. We'll eat together."

Eiji washed himself quickly but thoroughly, not knowing how long it might be before he got to be clean again.

When he was satisfied he was done, he simply sat in the tub, staring off at nothing and thinking minimal thoughts.

Several times his mind tried to wander into deeper territory such as where this man got his money and if he would explain the tattoos, but he blocked them off instinctively, not wanting to use his mind much at all.

Body instincts, body reactions, that was what he lived on now.

Now? What was he like before?

No. He felt a chill run down his spine as he extinguished the thought.

Those questions brought him pain, and he had come to loathe pain. Fear it.

Owner came back to the bathroom and made a motion for Eiji to get out of the tub, so he did, standing dripping wet and waiting for the next command, his entire line of thought while in the tub completely erased from his memory.

Reven held out the towel - the damned man seemed to have no initiative at all! So different from Inoue's assertive ways...

"So what would you like to wear, Inoue?" he asked softly. "I have some of your shirts still here...some pants that should fit you, in the style you like... liked..."

He felt a fool! First, that he'd hung on to Inoue's clothes, like he was just gone for some kind of a fucking vacation. Secondly, that the naked man in front of him just stared at him. The body of Inoue, with all its shape and contours - the mind of something very vacant. "I've got a pink shirt," said Reven, a note of hysteria in his voice. "I know you liked that with the orange waistcoat, didn't you -?"

There was the slightest shrug from Eiji, as he so obviously was now, and Reven cursed his stupid game-playing. He sighed. "The black it is, I think. I'll finish breakfast."

He'd reached the kitchen before he realised that the man hadn't followed him. He felt the anger rise up in him again, but it was obviously not only Inoue/Eiji who had to play a role. At least for a time. He marched back to the bathroom, scooping out clothes from a bottom drawer as he went.

"Put 'em on," he said, too harshly, but it was too late to bite the words back. "Then follow me to the kitchen, we'll eat there and decide what to do."

Eiji dressed quickly and followed Owner to the kitchen, where he took the seat that was pointed out for him.

"I know you liked that with the orange waistcoat, didn't you -?" He thought over the words.

His mind was spinning again... this man kept making implications like he knew Eiji before, and not just as this Inoue person, but he was acting truly as though they had once known each other.

Eiji was excellent at picking out people when they lied... and this man seemed honest from as far as he could tell.

So, what if Owner actually did know Eiji before he was a toy? What sort of life did they have together? What kind of...

A sharp pain filled Eiji's gut and head at the same time, and he doubled over, smacking his forehead on the steel countertop as his arms wrapped around his torso and he ground out a restrained cry of pain, barely a whisper after months of learning to keep quiet when in agony.

Block it out, block it out, block it out....!

He sat back up slowly, all pain gone from his body and his expression blank, like nothing had happened as blood trickled down between his eyes and across his cheek like a crimson tear from the cut on his forehead.

Christ! what the hell had happened to him? Reven dropped the bowl he was spooning thick soup into, and ran across the room. Even as he reached Inoue, the keening had stopped and the man was sitting back up as if nothing had happened, except for the evidence of yet another mark on his face.

"What the fuck was that?" urged Reven. "Why won't you tell me? Inoue - give me a clue here!"

And then, as Reven cried out his name, the man gave his first sign of proactive movement - he turned his head away slightly. Not enough to give offence to someone he still obviously perceived as a client of some kind - but enough to show Reven that his words had disturbed him. Particularly the use of his name.

Reven sucked in a breath, reaching for a towel to wipe the shallow wound. Something had got through to Inoue - but it had caused him pain.

He knew he wouldn't be dragging information out of this guy for some time yet - he had to be treated carefully - else maybe he'd harm himself badly - or at the very least, crack up.

"Eiji," said Reven, softly, and this time the man turned to him calmly. "Take the bowl and eat, OK?"

He watched him eat, hungrily, and drink the glass of water beside him in a single draught.
What am I going to do? thought Reven.

Just how deep was Inoue buried inside?

When he had eaten what was given to him as ordered, Eiji felt slight nausea at so much heavy food after so long with crusts and water, but it was better than the gnawing of constant starvation.

He hadn't tasted any drugs in the soup but wouldn't be shocked if he suddenly woke up and the last thing he remembered was eating something; it wasn't the first time and likely wouldn't be the last.

Owner stood and looked at Eiji expectantly, so he stood as well, staring at Owner silently.

He kept looking at Eiji like that... like he was being hurt... like he was searching for something.

Alarms went off in Eiji's head and he halted that train of thought on the spot, a dull gleam crossing his expression as the bliss of nothingness filled him again. He could actually use a few shots of whatever they liked to give him when he was having those horrid fucking nightmares, but wasn't exactly about to ask.

...Damn those nightmares... it was why he barely slept at all any more, he hated waking up screaming with tears running down his face, and having no idea what had so obviously scared him.

Owner was headed into another room, and gave order for Eiji to follow, so he did.

"Sleep," said Reven. Hell, he hated sounding like he was ordering Inoue about! But it seemed the only way the red-haired man was comfortable with him. He remembered the times that Inoue had told him to sleep - had ordered him about, actually. He grimaced at the irony, pulling the bedclothes back for Inoue to climb in. "Take your pants off, you can sleep in the shirt if you're cold." Guy seemed to be shivering slightly, though he plucked at the hem of the shirt as if it irritated him somehow. "You got any complaints, just tell me!" Reven snapped, coiled tight with his own tension from the whole situation.

He was disgusted with himself the minute he said it, but he didn't take it back. Instead, he saw the very slightest glimmer of instinctive anger in the violet eyes. It shocked him, and he decided he'd imagined it - the blank expression was back in place in nanoseconds.

Inoue sat carefully down on to the edge of the bed, and Reven turned back to go clear up the kitchen.

Ahh... this didn't feel right.

The food wasn't sitting well, and he couldn't seem to keep warm.

Before he realized it was happening, Eiji's head was between his knees and everything he had eaten was being expelled onto the floor between his feet.

The nausea felt slightly better, but his stomach kept lurching and he kept gagging, even as only bile would come up, until even that was gone.

His hands were shaking violently now as he gripped his knees, which were also shaking, and tried to run an inventory on himself.

Hands and knees, lips, feet... everything was trembling against his will, and his body felt like it was cold as ice even though his cheek on the top of his hand felt too warm for health.

He had seen and heard tell of this sort of thing happening to others in the last place he had been before here...

Eiji realized with horror that he was crashing, coming down from a constant high, and he knew it was going to get much worse within the next few minutes before getting better. His teeth began to click together as he shivered, his hair falling on either side of his face and matting to his forehead or getting caught between his lips, sticky with everything his body had rejected.

It wasn't the worst pain he had ever felt; the spinning nausea, the iciness of everything around him, the lurch every few seconds as his stomach tried to empty itself of contents that weren't there... But it still wasn't pleasant.

He gagged once more and finally realized that there was a voice in his head, somebody talking to him...

Ah yes, his new owner...

He tried to concentrate on that, rather than the strange way the floor was moving out from under his feet even though he was still sitting.

Reven had been shocked, but he realised what was happening - damn, he should have anticipated this, it had been obvious that the man had been kept drugged to the eyeballs while he was at the brothel, and now it had ceased too abruptly. He swept the covers off the bed at once, scooping up what mess he could, just so that he could get closer to Inoue and try to communicate with him.

"Hang on in there," he urged, gritting his teeth against the stench and the stuff clinging to every surface around them both. He dropped to the bed beside Inoue, and put an arm round his shoulder to steady him. "You're at the apartment - you're with me, Reven. Hang on in there until the worst is over -"

The body beside him shook uncontrollably, the spasms still wracked him. Reven tried to wipe the hair from his eyes, tried to mop sweat from his neck and throat, but the shaking body was difficult to handle.


Reven, Reven, Reeeeeevennnn....

His mind was spinning, and Eiji's eyes slid shut as he let the name slice through him, run around in his brain.

Reven! Reven.... Reven?

He shook his head quickly, trying to block out the name, and the thoughts following it.

Reven, and Inoue...

He knew these names, and they hurt him, they slashed at his insides, they made his eyes burn like glass shards were slowly sliding into them!

He shivered uncontrollably, his eyes rolling into the back of his head before closing once more.

Ohhh.... Reven....

That name, and Inoue, both of them, together.... until death took one of them away?
Where had that come from?

A cold chill wracked his body as an image flashed in his mind... Owner was there before him, laughing, making a joke which he didn't find very funny but that was ok, because he just enjoyed hearing Reven talk, and look happy...

Eiji gasped and let out a wail as his head began to split with agony once more and he clutched at it with his fingers, clenching his teeth and trying not to make noise.

Reven! he seethed through his teeth, the word mauled and barely understandable because of his ruined tongue, tears sliding down his cheeks at the pain both inside and out. Reven!!

Reven thought he'd misheard - thought Inoue had just retched again, or groaned. But it sounded like a word - a tortured, slurred word, but definitely speech. The body shuddered in his arms, and he strained to hear what Inoue was saying, but the wailing drowned it out.

"Let it out!" he begged. Was Inoue trying not to make a noise? What the fuck had they done to him in that place? His mouth was clamped shut, but the wails of pain and misery couldn't be stopped. Reven would have tried to pry his hands away from his head, but it was as if it was the only thing keeping him together. All he could do was sit there and help him through it.

"W--Wr--wre'en!" Eiji sobbed, his eyes burning as the tears continued to fall, hot on his shoulders like acid.

His head fell back and he collapsed face-up on the bed, clutching his head and rolling it back and forth.

He saw Owner's body beneath him, heard Owner whispering confessions of dedication, and he felt himself thrusting into Reven's body, watched Reven moan...

Impossible! He couldn't get hard any longer, he hadn't for as long as he could remember! This was a hallucination!

His voice came out in broken syllables, most of them meaning nothing when they hit his ears, but in his mind he kept saying, Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!!

His arms grew limp as he lay there, and his body seemed to suddenly be relaxing even though he was just as cold, and Eiji shuddered as the pain seemed to dull and he embraced coming unconsciousness.

Reven had a hand around him, trying to keep him from harming himself, and this time he heard words more clearly. The vowel sounds were easy enough - it was the consonants that confused him. The injuries to Inoue's tongue had been more extensive than he thought, they obviously prevented him speaking properly. And Reven doubted he'd been encouraged to speak up, anyway - everything about this seizure supported his suspicion that Inoue was actually afraid of making sound, of expressing himself.

The gripping of his head was continuing - the wails - the agony. And then the peak seemed to be reached, Reven clutching on to him even harder. He tried to call out to Inoue, but the sound of his voice seemed to confuse the man even further, so he stopped.

The tears distressed him - the pain Inoue was feeling wracked through him too. But when he collapsed back on to the bed, Reven could see the storm passing. His eyes rolled - he was lapsing into unconsciousness. Reven's last action was to grab at clean sheets and blankets and drape them around Inoue, even as his eyes closed, and he rolled over into an exhausted stillness.

He felt better, calmer, relaxed...

More in control of himself, even though at this point he had no control at all.

Eiji was on the brink of complete unconsciousness, halfway into dreaming, when the visions, or memories, or hallucinations-- whatever they were, they started once more.
He was seeing Reven before him.

"Sit here with me," he asked, a little shyly. "Tell me some more of the stuff in the books. Tell me some more about all the things I've gotta do."

Inoue's lips parted slightly as he heard his name whispered from the kid's mouth, and he felt his cock twitch inside its tight leather chamber...

Inoue's eyes snapped open with a horrid gasp, and for just a few brief moments, he knew Reven's face, knew his own mind, knew everything. His hand shot up lightning-quick, taking hold of Reven's wrist as he stared at the kid in disbelief; he was alive, the bastard was alive, he couldn't even place the happiness and relief he felt at that, he had thought they had perhaps caught Reven and killed him before he could escape...!

Eiji screamed bloody murder as his head felt like somebody had taken an axe to it, and he released whatever was in his hands to grab at his head once more, curling into the fetal position, teeth clenched so tightly that he could taste his own blood in his mouth.

No! screamed a voice inside Reven's head. There'd been life there, hadn't there? Life in those wide, violet eyes - and sudden recognition - and Inoue! Inoue! But then it had gone - then it had been replaced with the unintelligible screaming from Eiji, and the sudden jerking away of his body in spasms on the bed, curling up into himself, wrenching away from Reven as if he were living poison!

No! he wanted to shout. Come back! Hold that - hold me!

But all there was, was pain.

Eiji wanted to be put out of his misery, wanted to make this stop...

He knew the fastest way to do it; he had reverted to the method when things had been so terrible that he needed the release of unconsciousness.

He reached up with one shaking hand and clutched it around his own throat, his fingers searching until he found the soft spot he was looking for on his neck, just beneath the jaw. He pressed upon it, and gagged at the sudden wave of pain, then fell limp, lost in the wonderful world of sleep.

The nightmares tortured him still, but he wouldn't remember them this time, and his cries were reduced to only the rare whimper.


A/N: read and review for clare and I please! ^_^