Baby Hope

we miss you Princess

Our Baby Girl xxx

Our special daughter Hope xxxxx

(16th Novemeber 2005)

      The weekend we found out i was pregnant we were at my cousin's house. She told me to go and do a test as i was 2weeks late. I did a test. It came back positive. I did another test to be sure!!
      I made a doctors appointment for the Monday and he said i was exactly 6weeks,and gave me my EDD. I got my ante-natel appointment date through,went to that,then had to be referred to a consultant as Kenny, (Hope's daddy), has got Muscular Dystrophy.
      All was going ok until i was 10w+6days. I had a big bleed....We rushed up to the early pregnancy unit and was told i was having a threatened miscarriage so was booked in for a scan the next day.
      At the scan we saw lil' bubs heartbeat,which was reasurring! We were told there was no cause for the bleed, and went home.

     We had our 12wk scan a week later, (7th November), and they detected some adnormalities. Our lil' bubs had 'bilateral talipies', and' adnormal wrists'.We were worried now. They sent us down to our consulatant early, as we had an appointment the same day. He took one look at the scan picture's and said that we needed to go to the feotal medicine unit in London. He rang through (to St Georges,in London), and got a appointment for us the next day.
     Me, Kenny, and my mum,  went up there the next day. I was so scared. We got called in.....The sonographer was looking really closely.  I was asking him questions, but he wasn't answering me. Then he said he needed to go and get a doctor. In came the doctor, who took over. I was still asking questions, but he didnt say a word either. SILENCE...He checked the blood flow etc... Then he turned to us. He said that the blood supply from the umbilical cord wasn't getting through properly, and our baby wasn't getting enough oxygen. She was also brain damaged, and wasn't going to make it to full-term. We were told that we should should highly consider a termination. After that it was all just a blur to me.......The next thing i really remember is leaving the hospiatal totally devistated,and headed home.
      I had a phone call from a midwife. It was to arrange an appointment to take the first tablet, andi was  told i would have a mini-labour. Going to the hospital to take that tablet was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. To this day i will NEVER,EVER, forgive myself for doing it,( even though it was for medical reasons.)

      We had to go back to hospital on wednesday,(16th November), to start the mini-labour off.At 5.00pm our baby was born, 13wks+2days gestration. We were advised to have a post mortem.They found out our baby was a girl. We named her Hope.
      We held Hope's funeral on Monday,(19th December), at 9am.It was one of the most difficult days.We  scattered Hope's ashes with my nan, on the 22nd December 2005.
      We have since found out that our baby girls abnormalities were caused by Amniotic Bands Syndrome which effects 1 in 1,200 pregnancies.

       Love and miss you so much Hope
                                    MUMMY and DADDY




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