Perils of Hindu Marriage Act
A question that has haunted me for several years - does man woman equality guarantee stable family? I think the answer is NO. I dont intend to say women should be denied equality. But then men should be protected adequately from the hazards of "gender equality". Even if the gender equality is granted, certain assumptions made by society are very disturbing
- when a man makes a mistake it is punishable crime
- when a woman makes a mistake, it is to be pardoned
Recently I read a news in local news paper that a (hindu) marriage was cancelled at the last minute in Gurgaon, India because the boy insisted on contract marriage. The couple was dating for quite sometime.
I am confident that 99.99% couples who want to get married are UNAWARE of the LAWS under which they are getting married and the implications of these laws.
I think it is important for the individuals desirous to get married to know provisions of the law that may make their existence miserable if the marriage fails to exist.
The two marriage acts which are most relevant in this discussion are Hindu Marriage Act and Indian Special Marriage Act.
Hindu Marriage Act - If a couple gets married under Hindu marriage act then as part of ritual the couple takes reciprocal oath that the husband and wife will remain faithful to each other through out their marital life. It is this oath that makes normally man’s life miserable when the couple decides to end the marital tag.
Indian Special Marriage Act - The marriage performed under this act is simple (and legal) acceptance of an individual as husband or wife. There is no “oath” involved to stay together for the entire life. If the marriage fails, the miseries man may face are much lesser compared to the provisions of Hindu Marriage.
The issue that comes up in that light of discussion on love marriages and arranged marriages is who should marry under what law - and I think the decision should be made consciously -
a. If the couple is really in love with each other then should marry under Hindu Marriage Act
b. If the couple is in love but “doubtful” about future then Indian Special Marriage Act is most suitable choice. Do NOT get influenced stupid ideas of religious rites and samsakras.
c. In case the marriage is arranged then the risk of failure is at its highest and therefore such marriage should take place under Indian Special Marriage Act
498-A IPC - This provision in the IPC gives extraordinary power to women to harass her husbands family legally. A woman can lodge a fake police complaint and make a man’s life miserable by bringing him on her own terms. If the matter goes to court then man is guilty until proven innocent is the generally accepted principles. If a woman fails to prove that she was harassed then then there is no penalty for her even she is educated and earning. In the family matters whatever mistakes or crime a woman commits are practically ignored.
Please note that it is the proceedings of the case rather than final outcome kills men. And there is no antidote to 498-A IPC.
So if please be aware of the laws before you are marrying. Women are becoming ‘equal’ in all respects.
As an aside ...
I want to bring out some issues about the oath taken in the Hindu marriage that needs to be given adequate thought with balanced mind (this is the necessary condition). Ancient Hinduism placed great emphasis on sexual satisfatction of married couple. Yajnyavalkya smriti, a foundation stone of Hindu Law, says that "gentials are the source of all happieness" (pls refer Yajnyavalkya Maitreyi Samvaad for more details).
Do you think that taking such OATH is justified when one doesnt know anything about the compatibility of partner in bed?
Age of marriage and procreation is getting delayed becasue of career
compulsions. We have today a compulsion of satisfying our business clients at
the cost of sexual needs of a partner. Add to
that early onset of puberty in girls and boys ( I heard this from a doctor that
the main cause of early onset of puberty is stimulation through TV). So you
mature (sexually) early and marry late and that to with a single partner with
lesser and lesser opportunity for intimacy and sex. This scenario is spreading like epidemic and do you think it is justified
to take an oath - "DharmE cha arthE cha kamE cha naaticharaami" which makes
man's life miserable if the marriage takes unpleasant turn?.