1.Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2.Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is
rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3.Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because
there is no air to get in the way.

4.Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5.Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored
Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6.Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does
something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends
and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a
fight.

7.First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either
so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of
society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side
down.

8.Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical
damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they
didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are
dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the
Reality Lobe of the brain.

9.Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with
either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).

10.Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks
the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different
angles.

11.Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive
substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular
seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes
referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12.Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13.Law of Energetic Emission

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an
energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire.
Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that
this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14.Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its
size.

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big
and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15.Law of Inexhaustability

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless
they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16.Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of
fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The
accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases
when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the
Stormtrooper Effect)

Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside
down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions
of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less
likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with
insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows,
allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of
automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit
by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually
a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the
'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than
driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating
heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17.Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo.

18.Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes
more, under high pressure.

19.Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes,
loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not
unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20.Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines
full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and
defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving
emotion or a song.

21.Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't....

22.Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or
wounds the size of Seattle.

23.Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as
annoying.

24.Law of Americanthropomorphism

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really
nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid
than the big dumb Americans are the American translators.
(Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid
than the American translators are the American editors and
censors.

25.Law of Mandibular Proportionality

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume
at which they are speaking or eating.

26.Law of Feline Mutation

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

1.be female,
2.will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation,
3.and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27.Law of Conservation of Firepower

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an
opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only
as a last resort.

28.Law of Technological User-Benevolence

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is
inversely proportional to its complexity.

29.Law of Melee Luminescence

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess
and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura.
This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'.
This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic
spectrum than Evil.

30.Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually
hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31.Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color.
This color can change without warning or explanation.

32.Law of Follicular Permanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any
amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to
hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with
bladed weapons!

33.Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime
Aero-Dynamics

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is
automatically aerodynamic.

34.Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female
with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her
clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no
opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then
she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also
known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).

Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably
wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows
out dramatically behind him.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters
are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not
need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis
render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35.Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an
instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more
"simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an
intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never
attempted these things before.

36.Law of Quitupular Aggultination

Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group
together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:

1.The Hero/Leader
2.His girlfriend
3.His Best Friend/Rival
4.A Hulking Brute
5.A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes,
which include:

1.Extreme Coolness
2.Amazing intelligence
3.Incredible Irritation

37.Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of
variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can
instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common
item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with
unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other
common items include costumes/uniforms, power
suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38.Law of Hydrostatic Emission

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain
several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at
high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water
contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to
suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out.
The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime
characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or
worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of
sebaceous fluid.

39.Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how
desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get.

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to
Otaku in the real world...

40.Law of Nasal Sanguination

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they
get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner
sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds,
but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across
the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41.Law of Xylolaceration

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if
not sharper.

42.Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the
time and twice the angst.

43.Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia

There is no Law #43.

44.Law of Nominative Clamovocation

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts
attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name
of the attack is announced.

45.Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence
or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys'
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to
do anything to interrupt it.

46.Law of Flimsy Incognition

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can
make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and
relatives.