You say you’re not a cult,
But your members are not allowed
To think for themselves or to question
The words that come from your mouth.
There will be no "higher learning",
Where critical thinking is learned,
No reading of dissenting books--
Everything "worldly" must be spurned!
Afraid that they will question
And conflicting thoughts will arise;
Afraid you’ll lose your grasp
And they might see through your lies.
Spoon-fed on your falsehoods,
Interpretations and prophecies all your own.
"Listen to only the Governing Body!"--
That is what they’re told.
Your prophecies won’t come to pass,
Then you’ll retract your teachings.
Set dates will come and they will go,
Still you’ll make them go on preaching.
You contradict what you previously said,
Proclaiming it’s "New Light".
You insist your words have been mistaken--
They’ll accept it all, without a fight.
Posing questions to your Sunday masses
For which there’s just one answer—
Regurgitating back your words;
Scriptural validity doesn’t matter!
Parroting with no thought process,
They follow your cloning indoctrination
Right to the smallest letter.
Side-stepping the label of "Apostasy",
The fear of being ostracized
Is the only thing that matters,
Convincing your members to fall into line
Thinking it’s for the better.
You call them "Brothers" and "Sisters",
But just like prison inmates,
They are asked to inform on each other
For the organization’s sake.
You hold their family and their friends
Constantly over their heads,
The threat of being shunned by all--
It’s nothing short of arrogance!
You take away all they have
for yet a second time--
Their loved ones, their possessions,
Their self-esteem, and plenty of their time
You demand they sell your literature,
From one door to the next,
filing reports, and giving an account
of many long hours spent.
Soldiering for your cause,
They are taught to force your teachings
Down the throats of people
Who are, as yet, unbelieving.
When they’re despised on your account,
You say it’s because they have "the Truth".
Cruel and pompous to a fault,
You’re a thorn that needs to be removed!
Frightened that God might withdraw
His loving, Holy Spirit,
They hear the truth from somewhere else
But they cannot believe it.
Thinking they’ll come under attack
By the devil and his demons,
They prefer to stay in darkness,
Rather than run the risk of leaving.
A people held in bondage;
They have not eyes to see
The fallacy of your teachings
Nor the error of their ways.
A people working toward a mock salvation
That will never come to pass--
True salvation is by grace,
Without it, there’s no assurance!
Your "good works" our God despises,
As you spurn His free gift and mislead.
The fear of Armageddon is
All you have to show for your deeds,
And the hope that you will be
Deemed "good enough" for paradise--
You cannot see that true salvation
Cannot be had from Bethel’s lies!
By Candy G. Pouliot 8/16/06
WELCOME TO FREEDOM BEACON MINISTRIES
Counter-cult evangelism & ex-cult member support network.
New Facebook page
Create Your BadgeIf anyone is interested in connecting with me on Facebook (and, by extension, the whole xJW network over there), you can send a friend request to me under the name Candy Lopitz at www.facebook.com.
DISCLAIMER: The facebook page is my personal page and is not, specifially, a Freedom Beacon Ministries page. For anyone not familiar with facebook, please be aware that whatever one of my contacts posts on their "wall" will appear on my wall, too. So while most of my contacts are Christians, I also have non-Christian family and old school chums over there too. Therefore, it is always possible that one of them (especially teenaged relatives) might post something which might not be Christian-appropriate, and which might appear on my wall. I want this to in no way reflect upon FBM but I do want people who might be interested in linking up with my xJW network on Facebook to feel free to connect with me so they can connect to other xJWs there as well.
CARDBOARD TESTIMONIES
New Cult Documentary--"Out of the Cocoon" Author . . .
NEW Cult Documentary - "Out of the Cocoon" Author to be
Featured
Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:18 PM
From: "BrendaLee567@comcast.net"
In 2009 I will be one of four women (cult survivors) featured in a
nationally televised documentary entitled, "The Secret Lives of
Women," produced by Pangolin Pictures, New York.
http://www.wetv.com/secret-lives-of-women/index.html
In preparation for this film, I am going to be offering two events
next month in Colorado (no fee). Both will be filmed:
1) On November 22, 2008, from 12-1 p.m. I will be conducting a
seminar at REGIS UNIVERSITY in Denver, Colorado,
entitled "Brainwashing: Are You Immune?" In this seminar I will key
in on several important points, including Robert J. Lifton's eight
points of mind control/thought reform. Please RSVP if you plan
to attend as lunch will be offered to all participants.
2) Later that same day, at 3 p.m. I will be delivering a reading of
my book, "Out of the Cocoon: A Young Woman's Courageous Flight from
the Grip of a Religious Cult" at the Barnes and Noble book store at
96th and Sheridan in Westminster, Colorado.
My ongoing goal is to provide cult education so that people can more
readily recognize the warning signs when a cult or any destructive
organization comes recruiting.
I've attached a flier to this email announcing the seminar at Regis
University. If you live in the Colorado area, or if you belong to a
church or other activity group in Colorado, please let your family
and friends know about my seminar.
Please remember: Cult education is the vaccination to cult
involvement. Don't let a cult steal away your family or friends
someday.
--
Truth, love & light,
Brenda Lee
"Out of the Cocoon: A Young Woman's Courageous Flight from the Grip
of a Religious Cult"
www.outofthecocoon.net
Candy's Story (FBM's founder)
NOTE ABOUT THE AUDIO TESTIMONY:
Please give the recording about 90 seconds before my testimony begins. It was taped over another testimony and given to me this way when I presented it in another ministry's Paltalk room. What you will hear in the first 90 seconds or so is a fragment of the testimony they taped over. I do apologize for this.
If you prefer to read my testimony for yourself, it is below:
|
FROM JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES TO LIBERTY My Testimony by Candy G. Pouliot My mother became a Jehovah's Witnesses when I was 4 years old. Her aunt, Donna, was a JW and had been trying to get her to come to meetings for a several years. When my mother finally gave in, she was impressed by the friendliness that was shown to her at the Kingdom Hall. After several weeks of attending the Kingdom Hall, in Rome, NY, my step-father asked my mother if she intended to keep going there every Sunday. When she said that she did, he said he was going to start going too, because he was tired of her leaving him home with me whenever she went. My mother and step-father were legally married in the KH several months later, making their bond with the congregation even stronger. That was in 1972. My parents are, to this day, still active JWs, in spite of the fact that they were still relatively new JWs during the infamous 1975 fiasco. My father has been asked to be an elder several times but has always declined for one reason or another. I attended the KH with my parents, participating in the door to door ministry and platform appearances from the ages of 4-18. Meetings at the KH are very long and boring for a small child, who is expected to sit with the adults for the entire time. My mother, who took copious notes at every meeting, would write threatening messages to me in her notebook and pass them to me, if I had problems sitting still. I got pretty used to expecting a beating when I got back from every meeting, since I’ve never done well sitting still for hours. Just imagine the beatings I got during the long days of the district and circuit assemblies! Even as a small child, I had some bad experiences while participating in the door to door ministry. Sometimes, dogs were commanded to come after us and I can remember one particular incident where a Doberman Pinscher grabbed the leg of the brother I had gone to the door with. I was about 9 years old at the time and it scared me to death. I don’t think I’ve been too fond of dogs ever since. Once, our group was even chased by an angry gaggle of geese. Those whose turn it had been to take that particular house, had to jump onto the hood of the car to escape. There were also times when the people at the houses spoke and acted threateningly toward us. I have never forgotten one particular incident when a large, disheveled man came to the door with a rolled up newspaper in his hand. He just stood there, as we spoke to him, slapping the paper into the palm of his other hand and glaring at us threateningly. It being the 80’s, when Heavy Metal music was all the rage, I can also remember times when people would have their speakers blaring from within the house, probably to frighten us away. It often worked, too, because the WT had convinced us that people who listened to that kind of music were all Satanists. Many times, we passed such houses by, especially if the house itself looked pretty ramshackle to begin with. Truth to be told, though, I wasn’t afraid of such houses: I had a secret passion for the hard rock/heavy metal music of the 80’s myself, and I tried to sneak off at every opportunity to indulge. My teen years were very tough as a JW. I felt like a social outcast in high school because of my religion—a religion I was told I was supposed to care about but really didn’t. To me, the WT was just more rules and more reasons why I was not permitted to participate in anything fun. In school, I was not allowed to participate in extra-curricular activities, even thought I would have loved being in Drama club. I also loved to play volleyball and was every bit good enough to be on a team. I also wanted to be a cheerleader but was not allowed to do so. I was not allowed to participate in holiday-related activities and, rather, than my parents keeping me out for the day of the holiday parties, I had to sit in the hallway, like some pariah, while I listened to my classmates having fun on the other side of the door. When we all came back from Christmas vacation and the classroom was a buzz of children talking about the gifts they’d received, I had nothing to say. I was so embarrassed that I would often pretend that something my parents had recently bought for me had, in fact, been a Christmas gift. I was further embarrassed when the rest of the class said the Pledge of Allegiance each day. I had to stand stock still and mute, with my hands down at my sides. I often wondered if I should participate to avoid the embarrassment, but I was scared that Jehovah might strike me dead, right there, in the middle of the class. Worst of all to me, was when my parents even forbade me to attend my High School graduation because it was a "worldly ceremony". Another boy at the KH had foregone his graduation ceremony and they forced me to follow in his footsteps. I was not one bit happy with that turn of events and wondered why the other kid had to be such a "goody two shoes" anyway. When all of my classmates were making plans to attend college or to enlist in the military, I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation. JWs did not allow their children to attend such "worldly institutions" of higher learning. Most of the parents at our KH were pushing for their kids to go to Bethel, be a "Pioneer" or to do missionary work overseas. We certainly were not permitted to enlist in military service because all JW s are required to take a "neutral" stand on political issues and do not take up arms for any nation. I have often wondered what my life would have been like had I accepted the offers from the Navy that kept coming my way as I was preparing to graduate. I am relatively certain that, had I accepted such an offer, my life would not have taken the downward spiral that it eventually did. Most teens have a hard enough time feeling misunderstood by their parents, but as a JWs teen, I felt misunderstood by the organization as well. Whenever I did some little thing that my mother thought was rebellious, or not in line with JW teachings, she would call the elders in the congregation to come out to the house to "have a talk" with me. The things she called these conferences over were so petty. I can remember, for example, having the elders called on me because my mother thought my earrings were too big. Another time, she thought I was wearing too many rings on my fingers because she saw me with four rings on. These conferences would often last into the wee hours of the morning, and with only a few hours of sleep, I'd still be sent out to school in the morning. Needless to say, as a result of all of this, I became very resentful of my parents, the congregation, and the Watchtower Society. At the same time, I could see that the wedge between me and my parents was steadily broadening. I did not want that to happen because, considering the way I’d been raised, my parents were all I had. I wasn’t allowed to make friends with the kids at school, I had no siblings, and my parents kept me extremely sheltered in every aspect. Even the majority of the JW teens were considered too "worldly" for me to be friends with, as far as my parents were concerned. I really had no one and felt so alone. It is no wonder that so many of us who grow up in devout JW homes become dysfunctional adults with very little in the way of social or coping skills. Finally, I resolved to succumb to the organization--just to keep the peace with my parents--in spite of the fact that, even at that age, I did not feel comfortable with some of the things I was hearing taught at the KH. I guess I figured, "If you can’t beat them, join them". It seemed the path of least resistance. Since I was a very smart child, it was a breeze for me as I had bluffed my way satisfactorily through all of the questions during my pre-baptismal meetings with the elders. I was baptized at a circuit assembly, in the fall of 1985. I was 17 years old. At that time, I suppose that if I believed anything at all, as far as religious doctrine is concerned, then I probably did believe the JW teachings regarding the Trinity, Hell, etc. After all, I had never heard anything different, having grown up in the organization. There were other teachings, however, that did bother me because they seemed so morally wrong to me. The biggest issues that bothered me were: 1. The no blood transfusion rule; 2. The way the congregation treated the disfellowshipped, the disassociated, or those whom they called "apostates" because they had questioned the teachings of the Watchtower Society; 3. The use of the "spare the rod, spoil the child" scripture to justify the frequent beatings I received. As far as the first issue, my thought was that, if something happened to me, whereby I needed a blood transfusion, my parents would certainly let me die. It was pretty apparent to me that they loved the organization more than they loved me, and their subjection to the blood transfusion doctrine only reinforced that notion. I felt more alone than ever, knowing that not even my own parents loved me enough to do whatever was in their power to do to save my life. If that wasn’t bad enough, I was still around in the mid-80s when the WT reversed its stance on organ transplants. Previously, they viewed such transplants as akin to cannibalism, only to completely reverse this doctrine. I couldn’t stop speculating about how many people might have died because they were denied such a procedure, only to have the doctrine later repealed anyway. I wondered whether the same thing would happen with the blood transfusion doctrine, and whether it would happen before or after my parents or I might ever need one. As for the second issue, I just was incredulous at the way the congregation ostracized its former members. These were people that they had once claimed to love. There was always so much talk about forgiving your "brother", and of God's great love for the sinner, and of the great love we were supposed to have for each other. Yet, it all seemed to go right out the window when the congregation dealt with former members and those who had allegedly succumbed to "sin". Even when such ones were repentant, and were striving to get back into the good graces of the congregation, this behavior towards them didn’t change. I often witnessed this treatment continuing for a year or more after the person had repented. I thought, "Why on earth would anyone allow themselves to be treated this way? Why come back for this?" It all seemed so pointless to me and I began to wonder whether the only purpose it served at all was that of humiliating the person. It certainly did not seem loving to me on any level. These discrepancies nagged in the back of my mind, even as I was going through the preparations for baptism. As for the third issue, I questioned how a loving God could allow parents to physically abuse their children and then to justify those beatings by quoting God’s Word. I assumed that the same thing must be going on in other JW homes because my parents seemed to indicate that the WT sanctioned such treatment of children. When I went to school, I usually had wear long sleeves and pants to cover the bloody welts on my arms and legs that were caused by the switches my parents would take of the trees to whip me with. Not only was the infliction of these wounds painful, but it was terrifying as well: many times, my father would take me into the bathroom for my beatings and shut the door. Since there were no windows in that room, it was pitch dark in there. I would hear the switch whistling through the air but I never knew where it was going to cut me. The sound itself would strike terror into my heart. Enough was enough, so when I was 18, I moved out of the house and got a job and my own apartment in town. For a couple of weeks, my parents were still picking me up for the meetings on Sunday and I went along just to maintain the relationship with them. This continued until I came down with the flu one weekend; my parents thought I was just making excuses to not go to the KH and became very angry with me. They stopped talking to me after that day and they no longer came by to pick me up for the meetings. I suppose they thought they had given me over to the power of the devil. In the meantime, I started seeing a guy who I'd gone to high school with, and who now worked at the same job as I did. We both finished our shifts at 1 AM, and he would sometimes come back to my apartment to grab a bite to eat before he went home to his parents’ house. One particular night, my father showed up and began accusing us of engaging in pre-marital relations, before he stormed out again. I followed, trying to reason with him, and told him that we were not doing what he was accusing us of doing. Rather than listen to me, however, my father swore that he would get me disfellowshipped from the congregation. Soon thereafter, I received a registered letter from another sister, urging me to come in and talk to the elders. I though, "why bother?" I really didn’t want to be part of that whole mess anyway. In the absence of any response from me, the elders did disfellowship me. I never received a "shepherding call" nor any chance to defend my position. Even though I hadn’t put forth any effort to reconcile the situation, I was still very upset at how the whole thing had been handled--hearsay had gotten me disfellowshipped! Now I, too, was an outcast, just like the others I’d previously taken pity on. All of the hours I had spent studying Watchtower literature and going door to door didn’t account for anything. From now on, I was to be ostracized by everyone I’d known my whole life. If I’d felt all alone before, nothing compared to the loneliness I now felt. I was very angry and very hurt. I had a vague feeling that I needed to find another church to attend, but where would I go? The JWs were all I knew, and I was afraid because I had no idea what to expect should I try to go to another church. There was also the fear that the Watchtower Society indoctrinates all JWs with: all other religions are false, are controlled by the Devil, and they will be destroyed. Woe to anyone found in Christendom's churches when Armageddon begins! I’d heard that theory since the age of four, when my mother had used it to justify not attending her own father’s funeral at the Catholic church, an incident that has been a thorn in the side of some of our Italian relatives ever since. In my confusion and hurt, I rebelliously decided to do whatever I wanted to do. "The heck with religion anyway; who needs it?" I thought. I decided that I wanted to try all of the things I had never been allowed to do while I was growing up. I was going to date whomever I wanted to and live only for myself. I resolved not to care what my parents thought, what the elders thought, or what anyone else thought about my choices. Basically, I started going off like a loose cannon--hanging out with a new crowd where I experimented with drugs and over-indulged in my drug of choice: alcohol. These new friends were all I had now and they all understood what it was to be the black sheep in their families. I thought I’d finally found my niche. Of course, such a life-style was bound to get me into deep trouble, and it did. Finally, the day came, just a couple of years into that lifestyle, when I found myself in a predicament so severe that I knew I did not have the ability to deliver myself from it. At last, I cried out to God. I wasn’t sure that I knew who He was, but I still thought that there must be someone up there, somewhere. So, I called on Him and I lamented my life. I asked a lot of "WHY’s? WHY did my parents and the organization treat me the way they did? WHY did my life so quickly go down hill and find me in this desolate place? WHY did a loving God let all of this happen to me? I think I prayed for about two hours in this fashion, but I still did not feel I had been heard. No one came, no spoke to me, and no miraculous sign appeared. There was nothing but the sound of the clock ticking and my tear stained face. With nothing left to do, I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and decided to simply give up on the idea of God and spirituality. I went back to living life on my own terms and, of course, nothing ever got better. I continued down my slippery slope until one day it dawned on me that nothing was ever going to get better as long as I continued down that path. I decided to pull myself together, and to try to put the pieces of my life back into some semblance of order. I had no idea how to do that, but I had a lot of determination. I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Unfortunately, I still felt that something was missing, and it wouldn’t be until sometime later that I would come to the realization that the something was my spirituality. Until I made that discovery, I would continue to feel an empty, unexplainable void inside. I tried to kick my alcohol addiction for about a year on my own, many times feeling that it was beyond my own power to accomplish. I found out that there were programs that helped people like me and I joined one. There was a wonderful, Christian, Afro-American woman in her 60s, who ran the program and she became like a mother figure to me. She encouraged me to seek God, in order to fill the void I still had not been able to fill through my own efforts. I also began to attend AA and although they didn’t preach God, per say, the first step of the twelve step program, was to submit to a higher power and to admit to that higher power that I was powerless over my addiction. I know that many Christians look down on AA for using the generic "higher power" terminology, but when someone has spent a number of years looking to nothing but self and the only spirit they know is the kind in a bottle, it is a huge step in the right direction to even be able to admit that there is a higher power outside of ones self. Very often this is, in fact, the first step that leads the alcoholic in his or her search for God. For a long time, I just stuck with my recovery programs, After I had been in these programs for a time, however, and Thanksgiving was quickly approaching, I began to wish there were church services that I would feel comfortable attending. I finally saw a flyer advertising "nondenominational" holiday services. Now, I had no idea how to classify myself, as far as religion was concerned. I had been disfellowshipped from the JWs. I had thought, at one point that, perhaps, I was an Atheist. I later decided that wasn’t quite right because I still believed there was someone or something all-powerful that we all would ultimately answer to. Perhaps I was Agnostic? At one point, I tried to go to the Catholic Church, because I knew my mother had converted from that faith, and that the Italian side of the family were all Catholic. A Catholic friend went with me to talk to the priest about baptizing me in a Christian faith and we were informed that I would have to study the Catechism first. My friend told him not to worry; I should fly through those classes since I knew so much about the Bible. The priest looked at us and said that it didn’t matter how much I knew about the Bible, it was all about what I knew about the rituals and doctrines of the Catholic Church. Needless to say, I ran out of there as fast as I cold. If I was going to get involved in any religion again, it was going to be one that taught the Word of God, not the doctrines of men! Not knowing where I fit in, I thought this nondenominational service advertised on the flyer might be the way to go. When I attended the service, I met the Protestant pastor who was leading them and she was just awesome. She, too, was an Afro-American woman in her 60s and is still probably one on the sweetest people I have ever had the honor of meeting. In fact, we are still friends, 15 years later and I still love her dearly and still turn to her for support and encouragement when the need arises. I continued to attend her services every week and eventually took the job as her secretary. Under her mentorship, I developed a deep love for the Word of God and I felt the spiritual void I'd had for so long, finally begin to dissipate. In all of the intervening years, NOT ONCE did the Jehovah’s Witnesses ever reach out to me to save me from myself. It took two loving Christian women, both of a different race, to show me the meaning of unconditional love. They were able to reach out to someone like me—an outcast, an alcoholic, and the black sheep of the family—for no other reason than that they had the love of Christ shining through them. I continued to stick as close as I could to these two women, but I still wasn't sure what to make of all the discrepancies between what I was now learning and what I had been taught as a JW during my childhood. Occasionally, I would pick up some Watchtower literature for the sake of comparison, but it only confused me more. Finally, I decided that I was going take the Bible and read it alone, without commentaries or Watchtower publications to guide me. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to open my eyes to the truth of Scripture, and then I read the New King James Version from cover to cover in about one week. The first major discrepancy that hit me was that the New King James Version spoke of the Holy Spirit as "He", while the New World Translation (JW Bible) called Him "it". I went to the church and grabbed every different version of the Bible that I could find. I spread them out all over the floor so that I could compare them all. I was amazed that every single version, except the JW Bible, called the Holy Spirit "He"! How could this be, when the JWs always said that the only difference between their Bible and all others was that it was written in easier to understand, more up-to-date English? I had just, unwittingly uncovered major lie #1! Further study revealed, at best, many major doctrinal flaws and, at the worst, outright lies that the Watchtower Society had devised to support its tainted doctrines! The placement of a comma (as in Luke 23: 43), or the insertion of the article "a" (as in John 1:1), were just a couple that I found that successfully changed the entire meaning of the text! In the first instance, in the passage where Jesus promises the thief on the cross beside Him: "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise", the placement of the comma is critical to the interpretation of the text--Jesus says that the thief would be with Him in paradise that very day. In the JW Bible, the placement of the comma makes the verse read: Truly I tell you today, you will be with me in paradise". This translation has Jesus, in effect saying, "1'm telling you this today: you will be with me in paradise, at some point in the future". This verse had to be translated this way in the JW Bible--such a translation supports their doctrine that no soul survives after death and that there will be a paradise on earth, sometime in the future, for those who have been deemed worthy to inhabit it (the "Great Crowd" of JWs). Circular, out of context, reasoning is also consistently used to "prove" the Watchtower's doctrinal stances. If you don’t know what the JWs already believe and, hence, don’t know what to look for, you will not be able to follow this thought process. This is why the JWs are so masterful in getting people to believe what is contrary to someone’s belief system. For example, they will say that the Trinity is a man-made concept because the word "Trinity" is not in the Bible. They next tell you that Jesus, therefore, cannot be (Jehovah) God. Scripture tell us that Jesus is, however, higher than the angels. Therefore, they will say, He must be the highest ranking angel created by God. These angels are called "archangels" and since the Archangel Michael is an important figure in several passages of Scripture, they say that Jesus must, therefore, be the Archangel Michael. Most people are lost, at this point and just accept that the JW must simply have a better understanding of things than they have. Scriptures are also cited completely out of context in JW's sermons. The speaker starts with a premise (i.e. there is no such thing as the Trinity), then selects an out of context hodge-podge of verses from all over the Bible which he pulls together to support that doctrine. When read in their contexts, these very verses do not prove, and very often completely refute, these biased JW doctrines. Out of context, any reference can be used to "prove" anything a person might want it to prove. In fact, when I later was able to attend college, I took a entire course, called "Methodology" that shows how this works. Here is an example I found early on in my analysis: Revelation 1:8 speaks of God as the "Alpha and the Omega" and "the First and the Last". Throughout this chapter, the JW Bible has inserted the name "Jehovah" to show readers that these verses refer to God Almighty, since they cannot use these verses to claim any thing other than that since the writer’s intention is so obvious. Meanwhile, in Revelation 2:8, it is obvious that we are talking about Jesus Christ, because the verse refers to one "who died and rose again". Since Jehovah never died and rose again, JWs must concede that chapter two can only refer to Jesus. For someone who is only reading chapter one or chapter two, there doesn't seem to be a conflict between these references. It appears that chapter one is about Jehovah, while chapter two is about Jesus Christ. However, if you read straight through one chapter and then the other, it is clear that the Apostle John is speaking of the same person from the start of the book of Revelation—He is speaking of the risen and glorified Jesus Christ. In fact the Revelation given to John is the revelation of Jesus Christ in His full deity. Once you realize this, it becomes obvious that Jesus and God Almighty are one in the same person. This is a conclusion that the Watchtower Society does not want readers to reach--not when they go to such great lengths to try to disprove the Trinity! This is interpretational sleight of hand. It is completely intentional and cannot be excused as simple error or mistranslation. It became immediately clear to me that the New World Translation was designed to deceive and to corrupt the true Gospel. As such, it was a complete, blasphemous abomination! I began to interpret Jesus' warning in Matthew 24, regarding false prophets springing up in the end times, as applying to the Watchtower Society! In addition to this, when I considered the Watch Tower Society in its historical context, it seemed even clearer that it is a false prophet, as warned about in the Bible. The JWs began about 1,800 years after the true Christian Church was established by Christ and the Apostles. The movement began when one man, Charles Taze Russell, began to promote his own misguided interpretations of Scripture. Russell’s skewed interpretations were the direct result of his deriving from the vast array of ideologies he had investigated in young adulthood. These ideologies included everything from Adventist theology, to Freemasonry, to far eastern religions. Russell then took away a little bit from all of these belief systems and created a hodge-podge religion that he taught to his Bible students, who would later become known as the Jehovah’s Witnesses. That little bit of history makes the resulting WT organization a cult, as I understood the definition! I continued to research diligently and a lot of other things began to fall into place for me as I perceived the truth of Scripture. I now understood the real reasons that JWs won't send their children to college, they are not supposed to read non-Society literature, and they are taught that all other churches belong to the devil. Having since graduated from college, I know that the underlying purpose of higher education is to teach people to use their own reasoning abilities in order to come to logical conclusions. Students are taught to critically analyze everything in the world and to take nothing at face value. College also gives the student a broader scope through which to view the world around him. He learns the difference between hypothesis, theory, and fact. Therefore, in order to keep its members brainwashed and indoctrinated with its own interpretations, the Watchtower Society cannot have its members thinking for themselves. They cannot be allowed to discover opposing, substantiated arguments, whether from college, other books, or other churches. The Watchtower Society has even warned its members, in a WT article dated 8/15/81, that to read the Bible alone, without the assistance of the organization, will lead them back to the "apostate" doctrines of Christendom. I tend to agree with that. It happened to me. When I read the Bible independently of the Watchtower material, I could clearly see what God was saying, and it was in direct opposition to what the Watchtower was saying! No wonder the Society discourages such practices! Looking back now, I can say that my liberation from the JWs was due to three major factors: First, the "rebellious" nature, that I was always being accused of, kept me from becoming fully indoctrinated by the Society. While I didn't know that there were doctrines that opposed JW teachings, common sense told me that some things just didn't add up, especially when it came to moral issues like blood transfusions, disfellowshipping, and corporal punishment for children. Secondly, the Holy Spirit was beckoning, and He opened my eyes so that I could understand what I was reading in the Bible, without the help of any human authored commentaries. Lastly, the best thing that I ever did for myself was to read the Bible straight through--from cover to cover, and in its entire context. As a result, I am now very much a stickler for everything in context and I am very appreciative when I find churches that endorse an expository preaching style. Reading the Bible from cover to cover in the way I did, I realized that it was not so much the 66 books that comprise it, but one, unified story. It is the story of God's loving provision for sinning mankind: the redemptive work of Jesus Christ on the cross. This redemption cannot be had by any "works" that we may do to try to win God’s favor—no knocking on the doors of strangers selling magazines, tallying up the hours, or anything like that. It is a free gift from Our Heavenly Father that is ours solely by means of faith in Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf. That is the true Gospel and any organization that claims otherwise is a liar, misleading people for its own purposes. Since my disfellowshipping 22 years ago, I have not only ostracized by the JWs, in general, but by my parents as well. I didn’t even see my parents for about 15 years, after the day my father had stormed out of my apartment, swearing to get me disfellowshipped. If I pass them on the streets or in a store now, they act like they don’t even know me. In spite of the fact that I am a saved and sanctified born again Christian, who runs my own ministry, I am still the black sheep of the family. I am actually considered worse than my father’s two daughters, from his first marriage, who do drugs, hang out in bars, and have several children with different fathers. My parents told me once that’s because I had been part of Jehovah’s organization, so I, unlike them, know better, making me the worst kind of offender. I suppose they apply the Proverb to me that talks about the dog returning to its vomit and a bathed sow returning to roll in the mire. I am sure, too, that the rough start I had out on my own, has been pointed to as "evidence" of what happens to people who leave Jehovah’s organization. As I recall, the WT and the local elders were very fond of holding people like me up as examples of what could befall others who would leave the organization. They tell their members that we have fallen under the control of Satan and that is why alcoholism, suicide, etc. befalls us. I say that is true: because Satan had control of us within the WT organization, we were so depressed and confused when we left, that we turned to the first thing we thought might relieve the pain! I am sure that using me as an example must have cost my parents a great deal of embarrassment. In addition to their embarrassment over my departure, my mother has also had to deal with the disconcerting departure of the JW aunt who originally brought her to the KH. That aunt also later fell away. She moved out to California with her grown children and must have become a Christian at some point after that. We heard stories that she had begun to wear a cross on her neck, had crosses in her house, and I don’t even know what else. Several years later, when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I can remember my mother blaming her behavior on the tumor and saying that she must have gone out of her mind because of it. Even before I understood what it meant to convert to true Christianity, I was quite miffed that my mother would say such a dreadful thing about her own aunt. I also thought it was quite stupid of her to assume that, just because her aunt had changed her beliefs, that she was insane. It became evident to me that such a thing was not only disallowed but that every conceivable excuse must be manufactured in order to prove that only the weak, the wicked, or the stupid would ever leave Jehovah’s organization. In spite of the sadness my family situation still causes me, I came to realize long ago that I have the greatest support I could ever ask for: Jesus Christ has watched over me every step of the way, since I left the Watchtower—even in the days before I came to know Him. If He hadn't, I know that I would not be alive today. When I would feel at my most abandoned and alone, I was always reminded of the psalmist who said, "When my father and mother forsake me, you, Lord, lift me up" (Psalm 27:10). I could also apply Jesus admonition to my situation, when he said that even family would turn against you for the sake of the Gospel. If that is the price of having a personal walk with my Lord and Savior, then it is well worth it to me. Jesus said that no one leaves families, houses, or possessions behind to follow him that will not reap one hundred fold in this life and the next. He has sustained me and has always provided for my every need. It is only by the grace and mercy of God that I have come through the blackest years of my life--even a horrific car accident, three years ago, that I miraculously survived against all the odds. I am more than a conqueror through Christ who strengthens me! Today, my resolve against the Watchtower and all it stands for, is borne of conviction, rather than the rebellion of my youth. Jesus Christ has, indeed, brought me from Jehovah’s Witnesses to liberty. NOTE: If you are a Jehovah’s Witness, I pray that you will stop to think about the difference between having a personal relationship with the Savior and paying homage to the Watchtower Society. As a JW, you probably don't even consider a personal relationship with God to be within the realm of possibility. You feel that you have to stay focused on doing "works" to gain His approval and, even then, you have no assurance of salvation. I, on the other hand, in spite of having been addicted to alcoholic and having seen life spin out of control, continue to see whatever obstacles may arise, fall at my feet. Why? Because I have believed in Him to overcome them. My journey through this life, and my assurance of a future hope, is controlled solely by faith in God’s enduring promises and in justification through Christ’s ransom sacrifice! I am no longer in bondage to an organization that can not promise me salvation. I am a child of the King and, as such, privy to all of the riches and blessings He has in store for me. God’s Word promises nothing less to those of us who are His children. I urge you to take this life changing opportunity to find out for yourself! Consider this the WTS is denying you life! When you attend your annual "Memorial Supper" and you are not allowed to partake of the elements because you do not feel that you are one of the 144,000 "anointed" ones, please remember that Jesus said that anyone who does not partake of his body and his flesh does not have life. By forbidding you to partake in the body and blood of Christ, the WTS is showing a blatant disregard for your eternal salvation and is commanding you to do the same. Please think about it! Poem: YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT A CULT |
Becky's Story
My story
My name is Becky and I am a thirty-nine year old female, married with children.
My own healing from abuse has made me more aware of the abuse others suffer too and I am here to support this ministry and anyone who needs it.
My story --when I was about eighteen I had my first "real" relationship--a young man who ended up cheating on me. We were both virgins and I was very soul-tied to this young man. It nearly destroyed me. My mother had made every attempt to control the relationship (she had always controlled me) and I transferred this control to the young man, constantly pressuring him.
At the end of the relationship I went seeking for something that made sense of my life up to that point. I visited and got involved with the New Age movement of the late eighties. I was seeking the truth about life but had no idea how to find it. I met a man three years older than me and seeing a way of escape from my mother's control and my home I moved into his apartment with out telling my parents. This man (Tom) is now my husband. But, the journey we went through starting nearly twenty years ago was quite an arduous one.
My younger brother--who still lived at home basically had a nervous breakdown when I left. At the time I did not realize how much abuse I had kept him from experiencing with in the dysfunctional family system. He was put into a psychiatric unit and my parents used this to force me back into the family through weekly family therapy for three months nearly four hours from my new residence. My mother exerted all types of guilt, etc. to cajole me back into the family and not knowing anything else in life I fell for it. I broke up with Tom and my mother forced me to move across country with her and my brother.
Things began to fall apart. I began to have flashbacks and memories, lose time and I didn't know what was happening. I tried all sorts of passive suicide by putting myself in dangerous situations in the hopes I would get killed. (At this time I believed "GOD" existed but I had no idea about the salvation message. I figured God would judge me for suicide but not for accidental death....that makes me smile now, I was in a lot of pain and very confused.) I called around looking for help but was never able to make or go to an appointment as I was not functional in a normal sense. I was disassociating--I had fragmented parts of myself operating to keep myself afloat mentally. My mother had forced me to go to full time college, have a full time job and even take on a part time job and an extra class. I was "coping" by using copious amounts of marijuana and had started to drink vodka pretty much everyday. I really didn't know what was happening to me.
In the meantime--my father was supposed to sell the family home and move to where we were living. Instead he left my mother and all of us--with out even telling us. He kept in touch and kept lying saying he had more work to do on the house before it could be sold. He had my mother sign a loan that he used to buy his new woman a house and car. My parents had been married for thirty one years--it devastated our family--my father's betrayal was horrible.
About six months later--my mother went home to visit my father and found out about my father's activities and forced me to move back across country to live at home. I couldn't function--my health was failing from all the stress and I had been bleeding vaginally for about eight weeks. I was glad because I thought it meant I was going to die. I was so weak that I couldn't move off of the couch and my mother had me on a very strict cleaning schedule. When I told her I had been bleeding for a long time she had my older brother drop me off at the emergency room. When I called her up to tell her I had emergency surgery scheduled for an ovarian cyst--she didn't care. She only wanted to know when I would be back home to do the work around the house that needed to be done.
During the surgery I must have had some kind of reaction to the anesthetic because when I woke up I had about eight people using the blanket to hold me down. They all had very concerned looks on their faces staring down at me. When I was taken to my room a female pastor came and talked and prayed with me. (I didn't put any of this together until years later--looking back I thought it must be "standard practice" to have a pastor visit you in the hospital.)
When I called home to get a ride my mother told me to take the bus. I didn't even have money for the bus. I had never had surgery before and I knew I couldn't walk several miles home. I called Tom up who lived an hour from me and told him all the horrible stuff going on in my family. He picked me up and brought me home from the hospital.
When I got home I lay down on the couch and my mother began a tirade of yelling at me to get up and clean. I told her I couldn't--as I had just had surgery. I waited an hour until I knew Tom had driven back home and called him and told him how my mother was acting. He came and picked me up. I made some phone calls for hospitalization. I knew I needed psychiatric help. I stayed with Tom about four days until my hospitalization started. The first stay was six weeks long.
It was called a "stress unit" I wasn't on any drugs--but I was diagnosed with post-traumatic disorder. Upon being released I was told to go to NA meetings because the drug screen showed I had smoked pot. At that time I felt like I should at least go to some meetings since I wanted to continue therapy but didn't know how to go about it and I knew the NA meetings were free.
My very first and only meeting changed my life--there was a woman there who wasn't part of NA but AA--she was having a five year anniversary for sobriety and stood up to talk. She said something about ritual abuse.
I had gotten a copy of "The Courage to Heal" and been reading that and I knew I had been sexually abused...but I hadn't put anything together as far as the flashbacks--they were too confusing and jumbled and I was still very much trying to deal with just getting through each day.
When I talked to her after the meeting she showed me a small paragraph in the book about ritual abuse. That night I had more flashbacks and I called her and spent the next day with her. She was a Christian. After we had talked for hours and hours I had finally come to the realization that I was a victim of satanic ritual abuse this lady became paranoid and looked straight at me and asked me over and over again if I knew Jesus as my Savior. I didn't know what she was asking me. I kept answering her that I believed in God but I didn't know what she was trying to ask me? I was confused.
She told me to never contact her again. (**) As usual, I didn't have a clue what was going on. Over the next couple of months things began to rapidly change in my life. I got a wonderful Christian therapist. I met a guy who invited Tom and me and my younger brother to church--and I got saved! The very first time I had ever heard the gospel message I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I immediately knew this was the truth I had been searching for since I was eighteen and trying to figure out what life was all about. (**As a side-note, the Lord brought this lady back into my life about five years after this incident so she could see that I was now saved and her prayers had been answered.)
One night while Tom was at work I was watching our little thirteen inch black and white rabbit ear TV. It was a religious program...I thought it was a little rinky-dink local broadcast but they asked if you need prayer--call. So, I called the number and talked to a sweet little old lady who told me I was living in sin by living with my boyfriend and that I needed something called deliverance.
Well, I didn't know anything about anything. She said she'd make sure they'd pray for me. I felt bad because I didn't even know it was a sin to live together before marriage. I had been raised amoral so I didn't really know what was right or wrong and because of the extreme control exerted over my life--I didn't know anything about societal standards or how other people viewed anything. My mind had been controlled for so long I had no awareness beyond daily survival.
Well, I watched the TV as the guy called out my name and with much feeling said a prayer asking for God to give me deliverance. I just remembering running to the bathroom and throwing myself in the shower and crying and crying and crying and crying for what seemed like hours. I don't remember how long that shower lasted but my life changed from that very moment forever.
I found out several years later that I had gotten pray from the Trinity Broadcasting Network. Well, I also found out that the live program is actually rebroadcast the next afternoon. That means I got world-wide prayer TWICE!!!
From that moment on I began to study the Bible and grow in faith towards God--it was miraculous.
I requested my therapist send me to another hospitalization--this one specifically for MPD/DID and SRA. I had much therapy and healing at that time.
As I became stronger I got more convicted about living together with Tom outside of marriage. I moved out from living with Tom to a homeless shelter. By then, I was pregnant and scared but I knew I couldn't go back to my mom either. I started going to church and had a job and did therapy. I prayed all the time that I wouldn't be screwed up so I could be a good Mom--not like my Mom.
My dearest Tom, I had put him through breaking up, getting back together, all of my abuse issues, taking my anger out on him, getting "saved" which only confused him more and breaking up again...Now I was pregnant and he had convinced himself it wasn't his baby. I had truly used and abused this man but I honestly didn't know any better and I knew I didn't know what love was and I knew if I was ever going to heal and be the kind of parent I needed to be I had to do it on my own with God's help. Tom became very jealous of God in my life.
In the last weeks of pregnancy I reconciled with Tom. He was at the birth and I was happy for that.
My mother never once visited me. My mother took my brother's old mattress pad that was moldy--from our basement that was twenty years old and had my Dad drop it off at my apartment for my baby. It was the first time I had seen my father since he had left the family. I told him I didn't want that garbage. Standing up for my son in this way--was huge progress in my life--up until this point I would never had stood up to my parents like that.
I never had a relationship with my mother in any normal way and never wanted her to have a relationship with my children. She was a sick and toxic woman. My father wasn't any better. His abuse was hidden and covert. My mother's abuse was overt...but they were both still abusive.
The next three years of my life I am very proud of--I lived on my own with my son, went to school and spent every spare minute with God--in the word of God, praying and getting real healing and deliverance from God. I can say today that God has healed me, restored me and made me into a person I could not even have imagined at that time. God set me up with my best friend, Linda, who discipled me and was like a mother, sister and confidant I had never had. God led us to a deliverance church where I had many demons cast out of me that had come into me from all the years of abuse and satanic ritual abuse.
At the end of three years on my own both Tom and I had matured enough to have a healthy relationship. Tom and I had another baby and got married. But just as I was stable and well and no longer "needy" and knew for the first time in my life that I could have healthy relationships and that God was doing wonderful things in my life--well, Tom began to fall apart. He basically forbid me from ever discussing my past abuse with him--and for the most part I never have. It is one area of my life I can not share with him. Even though I am so changed from when I first began in the healing process--I think the entire idea of what happened to me in my childhood is just not something he can deal with.
The past thirteen years since I got married to Tom I have grown much in my relationship with God. I have grown as a mother and a wife and I can say that I am a happy and stable person. I have everything in life anyone could ever ask for...and my husband still loves me and takes care of me.
About a year and a half ago my father had a surgery where he had to have a blood transfusion--he died three weeks later from that surgery. But, this brought up a whole new area of healing in my life.
When I was little we were Jehovah's Witnesses for ten years.. The kingdom hall we were part of was really a front for a satanic group. When my father had the blood transfusion--well, it brought up all the issues surrounding the doctrines of the JW's and how they impacted my life. I went on-line and got involved with two on-line ministries for ex-Jws. God continues to be faithful and loving to me--and healing me in areas I didn't even know I needed healing.
Since joining Freedom Beacon here at Yahoo groups and since being part of the Pal-talk ministry for ex-Jehovah’s witnesses now following Jesus testimonies—I have healed so much from the spiritual abuse I was subjected to. I now have a cross hanging in my home. I have freedom in my thinking about doctrinal issues that had plagued me that were related to the faulty doctrines of the Jws and I have more freedom in general to discuss my past and share what I have been through.
Silence is a huge programming issue for survivors of all kinds and especially for those who have come out of satanic ritual abuse. In the past I have felt too ashamed to tell anyone I had been part of the Jws or that I was an SRA survivor. I am overcoming that by speaking and writing my testimony.
Thank you, Candy, for having this forum so I could share my story and be here for anyone who may need a word of encouragement.
With my sincerest regards,
Becky
Carrie's Story
Hi! My name is Carrie. I was raised since the age of 2 as a JW. Only child of an elder. My parents were baptised in the 70's after a neighbor introduced this to them. They even told their stories at conventions were I would stand all wide eyed in front of thousands, listening how praying to Jehovah saved my life when my mother thought I swallowed some deadly pills that I actually placed in the toaster! I have very early memories of them visiting other JWs alot. I've had memories for years of being molested NOT by adults but by older Jw children at their homes while my parents pow-wowed about their new religion that took me from my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. I was molested by a JW teen in the bathroom at the bookstudy. When I told my mother she acted as if I never said a word. I suppose she felt that it was something that would be taken care of in 'paradise'.
I participated in assemblies, KH buildings, gave substitute talks on Thursdays when my dad was the 'school overseer'....had the Tuesday night bookstudy in our home for many years. Since we didn't come from a generational JW family it seemed like it was alot of pressure on my father to be the perfect elder and the perfect family. I was honestly a GOOD girl growing up but was taken to the elders for ANY and EVERY possible thing. Saturday night WT studies (for Sun) became an open forum for my parent to bash me also! I was taken to the elders for walking with a boy home from school, taping my dads bible studies first talk (a sister told them I was "listening to rap music in the bathroom")...you name it! On top of that I was teased terribly in school...kids would write "no Jehovies" on their clothes, kick books out of my hands, and send me christmas cards. ALL this AND I was terrified of demons? Thank goodness my nightmares have stopped! At 15 I attempted suicide by slitting my wrist. My mother did NOTHING but have her JW friend over for tea. I don't even know if she told my dad. We had the bookstudy at our home at the time and they were very busy with that. Again, I guess they figured Jehovah would fix me in 'paradise'.
I ended up getting disfellowshipped 2 times. The first time for getting pregnant with my daughter, whom my father offered me $30,000 for in order to "redeem himself for losing me to 'the world'"! I was basically forced to go to meetings or I was treated really bad at home. I wrote my letter and was reinstated but never felt any warmth...everyone basically had me "marked as bad association". Two of my friends had sex in a lake...right in front of me...gross! I thought I was doing the right thing (still brainwashed to a degree) by turning them in. She was disfellowshipped and he went to Bethel 2 weeks later. I began to really think. I moved with my daughter into my own apartment. My parents were on my back about me going to meetings in a new hall where they already heard I was 'bad association' from their peers in neighboring congregations who didn't even know me. Now of course, I SEE that JWs are bred to be VERY judgemental. My daughter is biracial and I experienced more racism from JWs AND my father than you can possibly imagine. My dad refused to go to the convention one year unless I took out my daughters braids claiming that I was 'advertising that she is half black'. My poor other 2 children didn't even stand a chance when they came along. My oldest looked 'less ethnic' ..so he began a weird obsession with her, writing her letters to her school telling her she better get to the meetings so she doesn't die with her mother.
I left for good in 1996 when I 'escaped' by marrying a man in another state who turned out to be physically and mentally abusive. I had 2 more children. After leaving my ex, my parents seemed to enjoy my suffering. My ex harassed me terribly for the following years and my parents did NOTHING to help us emotionally UNLESS we agreed to go back to the KH! In fact they seemed to enjoy the emotional and financial hardships that we had to (and continue to) endure! Their JW friends are their life! My parents are wealthy and my children and I have survived welfare, the projects, protection from abuse orders, and no food. They continue to treat us worse than criminals to this day...and my children are now only 16, 10, and 8! I have to deal with their sadness because they long to have "normal grandparents"! It's so sad for them!
It's very hard to imagine that ANYONE would be so convinced that everyone in the world is going die but them...to the point of just writing off family that needs you. I used to understand their way of thinking as far as being "temporary residents" in "this system" but to cast away your own child and grandkids as if their life is not valuable anymore is just outrageous! I am very angry with them but NOW I do understand that they are merely 'brainwashed'....something I used to think only apostates would say..but it's sooooo true. I used to be so afraid of what the WBTS considers apostates! I see now that the JW mindset is very warped as I have NEVER met an exJW that wasn't hurt in some way by this organization. I never could FAKE my personality like most of the JWs that I knew growing up. Don't get me wrong, I feel they are NOT bad people just VERY influenced by the Society. It's so sad to me.
I have had alot of bad treatment by JWs. We live in an area outside of Pittsburgh that has several congregations where everyone knows each other. My co worker and I got along GREAT until see found out I was df'd...what she didn't know is that I remembered HER as a child. Once she found out she got in my face scolding me, telling me I should have told her I was df'd and that I am NOT to speak to her under any circumstances! Meanwhile our job required us to mutually take care of patients in a home care setting! She would spread ALL of her study materials and publications all over the house (on purpose) and speak to other JWs on her cell phone as I did all the work. (I did turn them into human resources and she got written up....yeah!)
My neighbors are also Jws...I get stares and bad looks almost everyday in the summer. The ironic thing is that he used to be df'd and brought himself in a 'worldly' girl to marry who got baptised before the wedding. I now realize that after years of guilt, self loathing and low self esteem that it wasn't ME...it was THEM. Their "us against the world" mentality has taken over their lives at the expence of alot of very good people. I hate when JWs say that exJWs are bitter and hateful. We have every REASON to be bitter. I have no reason to HATE anyone but now being on the outside looking in...I can honestly say my life would have been alot better and successful had I NOT been raised as a Jehovah's Witness. I now see the trigger words and repetative ideas that are instilled in them....and the arrogance that lies within them as a result.
I have a respect and a deep love for exJws who have been through it. I've heard stories that have BLOWN ME AWAY. No one understands what we've been through other than us. If anything I have learned growing up is to have a love for people but a REAL love....not the fake love for fellow JWs or the fake love for the people at the door (when out the other side of your mouth you are condemming to die for being 'worldly'). I care for ALL people of all religions and beliefs.
For years I was unable to pray because I was taught that God would turn a deaf ear to my prayers. Recently I overcame this and find myself praying for JWs more and more. I am greatful to all the exJw friends that I have met online from all over the world for putting my life into better perspective! It's the best therapy ever!
THE END
--by Carrie (FBM Support Group Member)
Linda's Story
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LINDA’S STORY—WHY SHE FINALLY LEFT THE WATCH TOWER This is part of a testimony given to me by my friend Linda, who disassociated from the Jehovah’s Witnesses at the beginning of this year. Here, she shares what made her finally decide to leave the Watch Tower organization for good. I found it very compelling and asked her permission to post it to my sites. Linda writes: "I believe that God was calling me out of the Watchtower Organization along time ago, with all the doubts that I had. Like, for example, how the JW's teach that Jesus is less then Jehovah, even though they would read scriptures to the Contrary even at the meetings. I told myself, about 10 years ago, that I didn't care what they said, and that I know that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. (I said this to myself, of course). Plus, I had doubts on what they said about the Holy Spirit. I wondered if He was a just an active force, but then I would ask myself, "how could he be a counselor or a Comforter, and how could Jesus and Jehovah send him?" Then about a year ago, I was trying to prove to my Aunt, who is a Baptist, that only 144,000 go to Heaven and the Great Crowd remain on Earth. I came across the Scripture, in Rev. chapter 7, that said the Great Crowd and the 144,000 were before God's throne. Well, I knew that His throne was in Heaven, so what was the Great Crowd doing there? I ask my husband and he said that they (both groups) were once on Earth. I said, "yeah, but the Great Crowd is not suppose to be in Heaven". I then asked an Elder, and he said he had to do some research, but he never got back to me. I think I would have left the Organization in 1994 or 1995, because I did stop going. But, my "worldly" husband (at that time), called a Sister that had studied the Bible with me, and told her that I wasn't going. She started calling me and encouraging me to come to her Kingdom Hall, so I did. I thought God was calling me back, but I was wrong. This time, I finally stopped resisting God and started listening to him. That's why I think He has blessed me with an open heart and has helped me to learn so fast. When I was a Jehovah Witness, I couldn't even remember things, I couldn't even think, I felt depressed and oppressed. I had little desire to read the Bible and I hated studying, even though I had been a JW for 23 years. Now, by the Grace of God, I love to read and do research and study the Bible. I just have to learn to be balanced and not go over board. I finally listen to myself and to God and, when I'm tired or feeling overwhelmed, I put my reading and researching aside and take a break, Then, when the next day comes, I'm ready to go again. I feel so free now, and I plan to visit different Christian Churches to see where I fit in and what I can accept, because Jehovah God and Jesus gives us free will and free choice. I have found that the churches I have been to, such as Assembly of God, a Christian Church, and a Nazarene Church, are good churches. Sure they have some differences, which are minor, but they generally teach the same message--that you have Salvation by having faith in Jesus. He is the one absolute that is constant throughout Christian faith. You just need to find out where you fit in. I do like the Nazarene Church a lot, but I still want to visit other Churches, because there is nothing wrong with that. Linda" Thanks for sharing that with us, Linda. It can certainly be scary when you have been a Jehovah’s Witness for many years and then try to leave. Not only do we have to deal with shunning by our JW friends and relatives—which, if you have been in the WT any length of time, may be the ONLY associates you have—but there is certainly the fear of the unknown to contend with. If it has been a number of years since you have attended another church, you often have no clue where to turn. You feel all alone in a world you know nothing about. It can kind of be like someone coming out of prison after many years, trying to get their bearings in a new society they aren’t sure how to function in anymore. From a psychological standpoint, many other issues can arise. Primarily, there is often a grieving process that we all go through when we make drastic changes in our lives. Having to close one chapter in our lives, in order to open a new one, is just par for the course. Even when the change is a positive one, it can be hard to let go of the former things and to break out of our comfort zone. When I was in college, I remember studying the works of Elizabeth Kubler Ross. Her primary claim to fame was in breaking down the grieving process and showing how it is not only the death of a loved one that can cause us to grieve, but many other changes in life as well (i.e. divorce, job change, relocation, etc.) The 5 stages in the grieving process are as follows: Denial, Anger, Fear, Depression, and finally, Acceptance. Individuals whom I have tried to assist in their recovery from cults experience these very same stages. Like, Linda, they often have doubts, while they are in the cult, about the cult’s teachings or practices. These doubts can create such a strong catharsis that the individual must suppress them (denial). Next, they become angry, whether it be at the cult, when they find out that they were not being told the truth about some things, or at the people who are trying to rescue them from the cult, or at themselves for having doubts in the first place. At the point when they decide to leave, fear enters into the equation. There is the fear of shunning, the fear of what people will think of them, and the fear of what will happen to them and where they will go if they do leave. These conflicting emotions inevitably lead to depression, because the person feels over-whelmed , confused, and often helpless to make a final decision because of the internal conflict. Finally, the person makes a decision they feel is for the best, decides it is time to close that chapter in their life and to open a new one. That is acceptance. The amount of time it takes to accomplish the entire process depends upon the person and the length of time that person has been under the cult’s control. If anyone out there is dealing with any of these stages, I encourage you to continue working through the process, to its completion, relying on God’s strength rather than your own. It may seem hopeless at times, but the freedom you will come to know in Christ will be well worth it in the end. If you are dealing, right now, with being shunned by your former cult associates, I would like to share with you some passages of scripture that immensely helped me when I was first dealing with it (and still do). Even though my circumstances didn’t change, when it came to the shunning issue, my attitude toward it did, because of these scriptures: Psalm 27: 10—"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up". Mark 10: 29, 30—"And Jesus answered and said, "Verily I say unto you, there is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundred-fold now…and in the age to come, eternal life." Matt. 10: 34-36—"Think not that I come to send peace on earth; I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law and a man’s does shall be they of his won household. He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. Be encouraged. It DOES get better. Remember Jesus’ words: "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matt. 19: 26), and rely on Him to see you through your rocky transition. God Bless and thanks to Linda for sharing this part of her testimony. |
Kimberly's Story
Being Raised as One of Jehovah’s Witnesses
Every child raised as a Jehovah’s Witness will have different circumstances. However, the intensity of pressure to conform remains constant.
Here’s my story:
I didn’t come from the standard Jehovah’s Witness background, since I only had one parent who was a Jehovah’s Witness. She wasn’t raised as one, though. My mom was actually raised Catholic but her family wasn’t very religious. She was introduced to the Watchtower Society by her first husband’s family. Her brother-in-law and his wife were Jehovah’s Witnesses and her husband was beginning to study with them. One night, they offered to go out to dinner together, but they deceitfully took her to the Kingdom Hall, first. Initially my mom was angry about being tricked. However, since she had never been encouraged to build scriptural foundation for her beliefs, she was swept away charismatic presentation of twisted scriptures. As a result, my mom became a baptized Jehovah’s Witness. Her husband did not. Their marriage ultimately failed due to his ongoing affair with another woman. My mom moved back to her mother’s home, pregnant with her second child.
Shortly after, she became acquaintances with my father, a controlling man who had no religious beliefs or morals. I believe she was desperate for someone to take care of her and her children, and my dad took advantage of her vulnerability, weaseling his way into her life. Not long after, she was pregnant and disfellowshipped. My mom was 7 months pregnant with me when they were married.
I don’t know what transpired for the next five years, aside from hearing that my father was relentlessly cruel to my mom’s sons (my half-brothers) especially the one who was later diagnosed with Asperger’s, taunting him for his delayed development. I’ve also heard chilling stories of border-line abuse in the name of punishment. But I was completely unaware of this. He was actually pretty good to me until my pre-teens, and I was even a "daddy’s girl."
When I was five, my mom was reinstated as a Jehovah’s Witness. At about the same time, my father got custody of his two sons from his previous marriage. (I have four half-brothers, two from each parent.) My mom had already started taking me and her sons to the Kingdom Hall. My dad’s sons only attended a few meetings before deciding not to go back.
I continued to go and a year later I was thoroughly indoctrinated. I was NOT at all like other children. My mom had already ingrained into my brain that "Bad association spoils useful habits." This would include everyone who is not a Jehovah’s Witness (aka "worldly" people). Let me paint a picture of what that looks like in action. At age six, I had no friends at school since my two Jehovah’s Witness friends moved away. I remember sitting on a swing next to a "worldly" classmate and suddenly realizing that I was becoming friends with this girl. Immediately, I explained to her that I was not allowed to be friends with her. I also explained that sometimes I forget and asked her to remind me not to talk to her in the future. We were only SIX! My dad’s sons had friends, so we were allowed to play with them when they came over. However, my mom was very uptight about me playing with any boys. She always wanted me to be proper and scolded me for being playful and silly. And I was not allowed to make any of my own friends. If I got caught talking to a neighbor when my mom got home, I would quickly end the conversation and head inside feeling shamed by my mom’s disappointment in me.
So in just one year of attending the Kingdom Hall, I already secluded myself from society and I already knew the basics of the religion, including which Bible verse to share with other students about what God’s name "really" is (however, I now know this is false.) I would take WTS publications to school to defend my religion and try to win converts before I was even on the "big kids’ side" of the playground. I would ask to be removed from any classroom birthday or holiday activities. Sometimes, my father would encourage me to celebrate holidays, and twice I gave in. But I felt torn inside, because God was displeased with me for doing so. I sometimes laid in bed asking God to make my dad a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t have to die in Armageddon.
As soon as I was able to read, I was pressured into studying the WTS publications. I hated to read and often got drowsy while attempting to read their propaganda. But, I always strived to do what was right, no matter how difficult it was. I was also trained to answer objections to my religion and shut out any opposing views. Questioning the Watchtower Society, I was told, was the same as "Questioning God!" Three to five times a week, she’d ask the same question: "Have you studied for the meeting, yet?" She was constantly hounding me and almost never had a nice thing to say. I was also taught how to go out in door-to-door service as young, trembling child.
I did have some good times during these years, most of which I attribute to my oldest brother (my mom’s son) who always looked out for me. He was the one who glued us kids together. We were a team, the kids versus the parents. He sheltered me from the chaos of my unblended family. However, the pressure built up to a degree that he could no longer take, and he buckled. My dad continued his verbal abuse towards my mom’s sons, and my mom countered using my dad’s son as a pawn. Their real dad was no better, treating them as second-rate to his daughters from the "other woman," whom he married. It got worse. After he failed to stay faithful to his second wife, he ended his life, leaving my brothers (and even my mom) with scars I will never understand.
These events drove my oldest brother to drugs, alcohol and the type of friends that go along with that life style. At this point, he was an unbaptized publisher and was constantly being reprimanded by the elders and eventually he left, never to return. Being that I was still so young, I didn’t understand what was going on with him. All I knew is that he was "bad" because he "had ‘the truth’ and he left it!"
Now that the glue in our family had become undone, my life began to take a turn for the worst. Without him to make sure that there was fair play, my other brothers began to pick on me relentlessly. Even my mom wouldn’t stand up for me! Instead, she always told me just to ignore their taunting and scolded me for fighting with them. My mom was trying to turn me into a clone of herself. For as long as I can remember, she has been down-trodden, non-confrontational people-pleaser. No doubt this demeanor is a strong factor in why she fell into the snare of the WTS. She would project this attitude onto me, expecting me to let everyone walk all over me. It wasn’t just with my brothers. My father would hypocritically spank me for not eating peas, when he wouldn’t even allow beets into the house. My mom said nothing. When I told her that the girls at school picked on me, my mom insisted that the other girls must have had a good reason for not liking me. (They did. It was my lack of social skills and odd religious behavior, but I was too young to comprehend this.)
No matter how much I wanted to please her (and "Jehovah"), it just wasn't in my nature to accept these injustices. I would have extreme crying bouts, shoving my face into the pillow and screaming at the top of my lungs, leaving my door open for all to hear. I always hoped that my parents would see how deeply I was wounded and come to my aid. They never did. This led to some very dark thoughts at the age of 10. Since it didn't seem enough to them that I was hurting so deeply, then I began to imagine "how sorry they'd be" if I were dead. I never had the guts to actually attempt suicide, nor did I want to displease God! But, I was so angry to the core that I often fantasized about the sorrow and regrets they’d have if I chose to go through with it. I wanted them to hurt to the same degree that I was hurting!
When I was about twelve, while visiting my uncle, he told me that he had a book with all these facts about CT Russell being a liar and a crook. I didn't dare look at it (for doing so would be "questioning God!") but just the "what if" thoughts freaked me out. I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't sleep that night. I just couldn’t bear to think that I was wrong, that my mom was wrong, and that our congregation was wrong. And it was dangerous to toy with the idea. After all, I’d already been warned about "apostate lies." I convinced myself that whatever that book said, it just couldn’t be true. I went back to trying to please "Jehovah" and my mom, JW-style. With time, I even repressed the memory.
At age 13, I began getting pressure from my mom to get baptized. Every time someone my age or younger was baptized, my mom would nudge me, as if to say, "What about you?" She thought it was admirable when an eight-year old was considered mature enough to make that decision, as did the rest of my congregation. Mature or NAÏVE?! The other two girls my age were already baptized and, in the eyes of my mother and my congregation, I was becoming a public disgrace.
I was constantly compared to one of these other girls, specifically. She was far more sheltered and far more indoctrinated. Both of her parents were Jehovah’s Witnesses, her father was an elder, and she was home schooled. She was baptized at about thirteen. Her P.E. requirement was fulfilled by door-to-door service. She put so many hours into "field service" that she was considered a "pioneer" (I think it’s about 60 hrs a month) and her name was mentioned monthly in the Kingdom Hall. Of course, this would again result in my mom giving me the "comparison nudge." This other girl was considered to be more "spiritual," more "mature" than I was. After all, I was still an unbaptized publisher going out in service less than 15 hours a month. If my hours fell under 10 a month, I had an elder of the congregation calling my house asking to speak to me to find out why my hours dropped…… Oh, I don’t know…. Maybe going school, doing homework, studying for meetings three times a week and going door-to-door more than two hours a week is a bit much to ask of a thirteen year-old!
By age fifteen I started realizing that I’d never chosen my religion. Everything I’d done was a result from outside pressures, especially that of my mom. Thankfully, I had not yet been baptized! (This is an important fact. All the Jehovah’s Witness children who were baptized, even at the ripe old age of eight, suffered far more when they chose to leave. There are strict rules regarding former Jehovah’s Witnesses. They are considered apostates and "are worse than ‘worldly’ people because they had ‘the Truth’ and turned away from it." They loose all their friends and even some family members refuse to speak to them. Even though I am not technically an "apostate," JW’s who know my past will still avoid me like the plague!)
My parents’ marriage was falling apart. By this time, I was fully aware of who my dad really was and I hated him! The elders deemed that my mom had grounds for separation since my father was verbally abusing my entire family and was sexually abusing her, driving her to a suicide attempt. I was thrilled when we moved out. Only three weeks later, my mom dragged my brother (with Asperger’s) and me back to my dad’s, crying and pleading the whole time. (Eventually, they divorced.) Since I realized no one was looking out for my best interests, I pinned them against each other, to break free from the control of the Watchtower. As long as I was living in my father’s household, my mom didn’t have the power to force me to go the meetings. I had a strong anti-God attitude decided to start living life MY way, taking care of myself. I used my new-found freedoms to choose my own friends. My best friend, a Jehovah’s Witness was actually a bit pushy with me, but because she was the only JW in my grade level, she had become my best friend by process of elimination. But now I had options!
I made quick friends with a classmate who had a crush on me. Although I wasn’t interested, our friendship grew. He was there for me when I needed to be angry and vent. He was there for me when I needed to cry. And he was there for me when I needed to laugh and for the first time in my life, I had someone to be silly with! It wasn’t long before we fell in love. My mom strongly objected to our relationship. But I’d never been able to gain her approval in the past, so her continued disappointment had very little effect. She kept hoping that I would return to the Kingdom Hall and stop dating a "worldly" boy. I did neither. After four years of dating, at age twenty, I married him!
My husband was raised Christian but wasn’t exactly strong in his faith during his teen years. As he got older, he began taking his faith more seriously. He also began praying for me on a regular basis. God honored his prayers. At age 21, God revealed Himself to me. He warned me that if I didn’t turn to Him, that I was headed for hell. I woke up shaking and crying. For the first time in six years, I prayed. I poured out my heart and begged God to show me who He really is. I began going to a Christian church and independently comparing it to the doctrine I was raised on.
My mom lent me some materials to aid in my research. One of the publications I borrowed was a Kingdom Interlinear (A Greek-to-English Bible translation). When I saw the discrepancies between the original Greek and the English of the New World Translation, I knew that the WTS had intentionally altered their Bible to conceal the Deity of Jesus Christ. In one moment, I knew they were a false prophet and couldn’t be trusted on any theology. And even though I became a born-again Christian, I still grappled with confusion over the indoctrination of my past. I still had to cover each issue, one by one, to figure out what was true and what was not.
My mom and I tip-toed around religion for five years. Recently, we reached a boiling point. This resulted in sending me back through the doctrinal differences, since I needed a stronger case to prove to her what I already know. This time, when I researched, I dug much deeper than before. What I’ve discovered was so sickening that it makes me physically nauseated. In addition to faulty doctrine, I discovered a long history of false prophecies. I also found a history of flip-flopping on their position regarding blood transfusions and organ transplants. They’ve even repetitively protected rapists and child-molesters and shunned the victims, labeling them as "fornicators!" Now, I actively work towards opening the eyes of the members of this horrendous cult, including my mom and one brother who are still active Jehovah’s Witnesses. I have a solid case, but they’ve been so indoctrinated to assume that any former member is spreading vicious lies that they refuse to even look at the evidence.
Even my oldest brother, who never returned to the Kingdom Hall, still carries the wounds of his spiritual abuse, along with the other trials he’s endured. He’s into his thirties now and has achieved some level of stability. He’s now married, owns a home, works full-time, attends a trade school and has three dogs. However, he is still attempting to mask his pain with marijuana and alcohol. Deep down, he still believes in the teachings of the WTS. He can’t yet see that the god of the Watchtower is not the God of the Bible. As a result, religion is too painful for him to consider, at this time. It’s just recently that God has allowed me to see his inner pain and I am beginning to reach out to him, with positive results.
As a Christian, I am learning to forgive my father for what he’s done to my family. I no longer hate him but he has not changed, so I keep him at a safe distance. I worry about him and his sons the most, since they are all content with their Godless lives of depravity. Their names are often included in my very long "prayer list."
Jason's Disassociation letter to the WTS
February, 2008
Watchtower Bible and Tract Society
Gentlemen, a few months ago I discontinued attendance at the meeting
of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society to free myself of the time
and thought control of the Society. For the express reason that I
had determined to make a thorough scholarly investigation of the
teachings of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society as they relate
to the bible. This investigation came to include the history of the
Society as well as their current organizational procedures. My
heartfelt prayer to Jehovah for his guidance and direction in this
matter continues to be answered beyond my greatest expectations. He
has blessed me with a flood of information that has enabled me to
come to the following irrefutable conclusions:
The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is guilty of continued
presumptuous prophetic speculations, beginning with its founder and
continuing to the present. Without exception these prophesies have
failed to come true. The Society in turn has denied responsibility
for these false prophecies.
They have tampered with the sacred scriptures and the translation of
their New World Translation to conform these with their particular
doctrines. To give credence to their version they have gone so far
as to miss-quote noted Greek scholars. They have used a bible
translated by admitted spiritist to give support to their
translation and doctrines after having exposed this translator some
6 years before the printing of their bible.
They have a pattern of ever continued doctrine and policy changes
that often make full 360º circles. Their new light has gone from
being new light to darkness and back to new light many times over.
They have a unity that is the result of ignorance on the part of
their adherence and forced upon the threat of expulsion from the
Society as well as their friends and family members. This is true
even when the Society and its representatives are unable to refute
the bible based arguments of such persons.
They have presumptuously interjected themselves into the chain of
salvation in violation of Paul's words at 1Timothy 2:5 where it is
clearly stated there is only one mediator between God and men.
They have forced the unchristian act of shunning family members who
do not agree with the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society hierarchy.
They have endeavored to take away from Christians the God given
right to investigate the truth using God's word the bible, without
thought controlling influence of Watchtower literature and the right
to express their bible based opinions freely.
The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is personally responsible for
the death and sufferings of thousands of individuals because of
their inconsistent application of their own doctrine in various
parts of the world. As an example Malawi and Mexico. The same has
resulted due to the interference of the Society in the healthcare of
its adherence in such areas as transplants, inoculations as well as
blood transfusion alternatives.
It is with these and many other reasons that I do here by exercise
my Christian obligation and legal right to disassociate myself from
the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. By this action I have
voluntarily resigned from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society and
do not recognize the Society or its representatives as having
authority over me at all. Since I have voluntarily resigned from
this organization I expressly prohibit you from disfellowshipping me
or in any way defaming my character before others. If I am
disfellowshipped I will take legal action against you. I do not bare
any malice against you, but do recognize the position the Watchtower
Bible and Tract Society has taken in these matters in an effort to
hide the false teachings and incredible inconsistencies with in
their organization past and present.
Rather than be disheartened at the discovery that I have been misled
for over 11 years, I am filled with great joy and eager expectation
of a continuing growing and personal relationship with my loving
Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Vince's Story
Zealous Person for Jehovah
While this is a rather lengthy letter of disassociation that I will be turning in to the local body of elders shortly; it carefully lays out why I no longer believe this is the one sole truth on the earth today. This is not based on having some axe to grind with any particular people or specific experiences (though I have plenty of those too). Instead, my decision to leave is based solely on a reasonable, logical, carefully thought out foundation. One that may have been initiated by our position regarding blood transfusions. But as you can read, one that has since turned into so much more than just that.
All the best, vinny
Dear Brothers,
I am writing to share with you the recent turn of events, which have caused some very significant changes in certain viewpoints that I hold to, and in my life altogether. I truly believe that I have always been a zealous person for Jehovah throughout my entire life in the truth. I have been baptized for over 15 years now, since June of 1990, with another three years of studying before baptism.
My family and I have always been regular at the meetings (as you all well know), regular and active in service, always present at our assemblies and conventions. We've always participated in our Kingdom Hall cleaning and maintenance assignments. We auxiliary pioneered often. I have served as an Elder for many years. I served as a magazine assistant and then servant years ago, did the literature for a while, handled the territory for years, as well as a couple years doing the accounts. I never refused a privilege (that I can recall) and like many of you have given more talks than I can remember. I conducted book studies as well as the Theocratic Ministry School during my years as an elder.
My life in, and appreciation for the truth has always been something I valued tremendously. I've also made it a point to have a regular family-study with my wife and kids. I always tried to make the studies enjoyable and somewhat entertaining. Whenever they did make mistakes or developed less-spiritual attitudes, I always counseled, encouraged and tried to help them. When they made serious mistakes, in addition to my own corrective and helpful measures, I helped them to see the need to also go forward by going to the elders and getting the necessary discipline and counsel.
Nothing was ever to be hidden. We all regularly participated in the meetings as well. I always invited my family to try to share at least one comment at each meeting if at all possible. I almost always kept up with the day's text and weekly bible reading schedule too. We socialized extensively, with more sleepovers and get-togethers than can be remembered. We were often one of the last ones to leave the Kingdom Hall after meetings. There have never been any doubts about my love for Jehovah. He has always been very real to me. My relationship with him is now and has always been very special to me!
Recently however, I've had some issues come up into my life that have challenged these convictions, my core beliefs and even my explicit trust in the organization itself. I have always simply "trusted" what the faithful slave teaches us even if I did not necessarily understand particular viewpoints. Back in early 1990 for example, when I was going over my baptism questions, I remember not being fully convinced of the society's position regarding no blood transfusions. During that second set of questions at my house, the elder suggested that I just try to trust the Society's direction for now (since this was the only serious doubt that I had) and perhaps later on down the road I would begin to see our position on this issue more clearly. Well, I did just what he suggested. If the organization can be right about a paradise earth, condition of the dead, rejection of the Trinity etc etc, I figured it must be right about this issue as well. After all, we do believe this is the only organization Jehovah is truly using today. Trusting it was always easy for me. No questions asked!
Well, while keeping up with the news one day back in November, I noticed there was a very flattering article on the MSNBC News Website front page; the title of the article was "Jehovah's Roofing Service". It was about Jehovah's Witnesses volunteering to put on a new roof for a Hurricane Katrina victim. The article was so encouraging that I e-mailed it to many friends in the truth; something I rarely do if at all. At the bottom of that article however, I noticed people were publicly commenting about the article itself.
After the first day there were perhaps some 30 comments. The next day there were over 100. After a few more days they finally capped the comments off with almost three hundred altogether. Some were critical, (mostly "the Witnesses only help their own" variety) a few were casual and nice, but most were from other Witnesses like us, defending the truth against these so-called "critics". In fact I too at one point sent in a comment defending the truth, though it was never posted since there were many others similar to it. There was one comment near the end however, that stopped to make me think several times throughout the next few weeks. It actually shook my faith a bit you might say. It presented negative comments about the truth that I had never heard of before. So much so, that I had to look up Watchtower and Awake articles to verify if these statements were in fact true. Well, after a little research, I found out that these comments were indeed true.
One of the claims had to do with the Golden Age magazine (now the Awake) years ago saying that vaccinations were not allowed for Jehovah's Witnesses. The article said that accepting a vaccine was: "a crime, an outrage, and a delusion". It also said that the smallpox vaccination itself would: "cause syphilis, cancers, leprosy and many other loathsome diseases". For 21 years the Society did not allow vaccinations for Jehovah's Witnesses. I had never heard of this before. Even more of an issue for me from this same comment, was that I learned from 1967 to 1980, the Society also forbid Jehovah's Witnesses from accepting organ transplants. Going so far as calling it "cannibalism". The consequences for those accepting an organ transplant was disfellowshipping; complete shunning for those that did not follow this decree. After over 12 years, the society did finally reverse this, instead making it a "conscience matter". My immediate thoughts after learning about these two facts were; I wonder how many people died from following the Society's direction regarding these two medical procedures? This information bothered me quite a bit.
Since 1945 blood transfusions have been completely unacceptable for Jehovah's Witnesses. Since 1961, disfellowshipping was the consequence. This position against blood transfusions has been well publicized with numerous articles throughout the years in many of the Society's publications. Transfusing certain "fractions of blood" has just recently become a "conscience matter", rather than forbidden. Storing our own blood for an operation, as well as donating our own to the world's blood supply have always been condemned as well. As I have already mentioned here, I have always been uneasy with this particular position by the society that blood transfusions (even as a last resort) are not allowed. However, like I also mentioned above, I have always simply taken the position to "trust the Society" with issues like this that I may not have agreed with nor fully understood. Realizing now however, from this newer information to me that the society has made incorrect stands in the past regarding vaccinations and organ transplants (and since reversed these), has caused an even greater sense of concern in my mind over this issue regarding blood transfusions today. After coming to learn about these things I have since dedicated enormous amounts of time and efforts to come to a better understanding of this position both in the eyes of the Society, as well as from the medical community during the last few months. I have researched and studied and compared notes from too many articles to list here.
I have extensively compared scriptures from several bible translations to try to gain the fullest understanding possible. Because of the fact that people have died, and will continue to do so, it is imperative to me that I fully understand the reasons for our position. Though my children are now fully grown up and can make their own educated decisions, I still actively participate in the door-to-door ministry encouraging others to join us in worshiping Jehovah as his Witnesses. This position of abstaining from blood transfusions could very well affect those that I might happen to bring into the organization or their children. After many months now of continuous soul-searching, prayer, exhaustive research and meditation/reflection of this research, I have come to the firm conclusion that the society's position to abstain from blood transfusions is in error. Just like it was on vaccinations and organ transplants prior, which have since been reversed. I base this conclusion on many factors, which include:
*** A blood *transfusion* is not the same as eating or drinking blood as has been illustrated with the: "If a doctor told you to abstain from alcohol, but instead of drinking it, you transfused it into your veins..." illustration that the society often uses. If a person was starving to death and was given multiple blood transfusions instead of food, he would still die. A transfusion of blood replaces the volume of blood lost (much like replacing an organ) which is needed to sustain life, nothing more. No nourishment is gained by a blood transfusion, as would be the case when eating or drinking the blood, which is forbidden. This illustration often used by the society does apply with alcohol and other digestible foods, but not for blood. It simply stays in your system indefinitely.
*** The scriptures in both the Hebrew and Greek sections of the bible, which say: "blood must be drained out" and to, "abstain from... blood" were always referring directly to the eating or drinking of animal blood. The blood of the animal that had been killed was to be "poured out" rather than eaten or drank. This token act of faith demonstrated to Jehovah that the life that had been taken belongs to him. The blood of the animal represents the life of that animal. Humans do have the right to take animals for food only because the creator allows us to do so. Pouring out the blood first, acknowledges this arrangement. By including modern day blood transfusions in the current application of these verses however (which is not the same as eating or drinking of animal blood), the society is going beyond what is actually written in its application. In addition, the one supplying the blood for a transfusion has not died at all, which was always the case when an animal was bled. A "living" donor instead provides the needed volume of blood-fluid that has been lost for another "living" individual. And in many cases over the years, as a last resort this has been and can still be a life-saving medical act. In other cases by refusing this particular medical treatment because of our stand against blood transfusions, lives have been and will continue to be lost. Is this what Jehovah wants, and is this premature loss of life really necessary?
*** We can also learn something about this from Jesus very own example. Jesus was also willing to perform miracles on the Sabbath (something against the mosaic law) in order to save lives, or even just heal the sick. Would not Jesus have made an exception then to a dietary rule in order to save a human life? In Luke 14:5-6, the bible account says: "And he said to them: "Who of YOU, if his son or bull falls into a well, will not immediately pull him out on the sabbath day?" 6 And they were not able to answer back on these things." The account in Mathew 12:11 goes even further, it says: "So they (Pharisees) asked him "Is it lawful to cure on the Sabbath?" that they might get an accusation against him. 11 He said to them: "Who will be the man among YOU that has one sheep and, if this falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not get hold of it and lift it out? 12 All considered, of how much more worth is a man than a sheep! So it is lawful to do a fine thing on the Sabbath." If Jesus was willing to value the life of an ANIMAL enough to rescue that animal's life despite this "work" being done on a Sabbath, how much more so then should the life of a human being be given priority over the strict interpretation of the law? Well, we need not really ask since Jesus answered this himself when he said in verse 12, "All considered, of how much more worth is a man than a sheep!". Yes rescuing a sheep from a pit on the sabbath is the loving and merciful thing to do. Additionally, Jesus performed many other miraculous works on the Sabbath. Yet to work on the Sabbath was to bring the death penalty upon oneself. And in fact, the scriptures actually record this penalty being meted out to a Sabbath violator. (See Exodus 35:2; Numbers 15:32-36. Here we see clear evidence though that Jesus appreciated the principle that love triumphs over law. That when life is at stake, (even an animal's life), rules can be set aside as circumstances require. LIFE is valuable and precious. Jesus showed this love for life and people over and over. While by contrast the oppressive, rule-keeping religious leaders often missed the entire purpose of the law. By not allowing a blood transfusion to be given, especially in last-resort situations, but rather allowing these ones to die instead, is the proper "respect" for life being shown as Jesus clearly demonstrated? Imagine if this involved allowing one of "our own" to die due to such a strict stand by the society.
*** I've also appreciated another example that demonstrates this same "principle" of Jesus' valuing a person's life over the written law. It had to do with the woman who had a flow of blood for 12 years. Under the Mosaic Law a running discharge made her "unclean", and anyone even touching her would also have to wash and be considered unclean until evening. However, she went even further than this by actually touching Jesus garment secretly in hopes of getting healed without anyone knowing. Jesus as we know, perceived that power went out from him and realized what she had done. Others too were watching. Notice though, that rather than condemn this woman for what she did, Jesus instead compassionately tells her: "Your faith has made you well. Go in peace, be in good health from your grievous sickness...." Once again we can see the spirit of the law (and the value of a human life) taking precedence over the supposed letter of the law, which the woman had clearly broken.
*** Acts 15:28-29 (which is the foundation scripture for society's position against blood transfusions since the Mosaic Law is no longer in force -this too is the society's view-) reads: 28 "For the holy spirit and we ourselves have favored adding no further burden to YOU, except these necessary things, 29 to keep abstaining from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication. If YOU carefully keep yourselves from these things, YOU will prosper. Good health to YOU!" The society considers this to be an all-encompassing, absolute, eternal command. However, notice that along with abstaining from blood, we also hear the command to abstain from "*things sacrificed to idols*" Now, if you read 1 Corinthians 8:4-8, we can see that Paul there helps the reader to see that the "eating of food sacrificed to idols" was really a conscience matter. Obviously then, the Acts 15:28-29 could not have such a broad, absolute, universal meaning since another part of that same scripture is considered a conscience matter by the apostle Paul in another verse. This decision instead was rendered so that the newer "Gentile" Christians would be conscious not to stumble the more traditional Jewish Christians, many of which were still rooted in Mosaic Law. The decision was acknowledged that they were not under Mosaic Law any longer. However to prevent unnecessarily stumbling of these traditional Jewish Christians, this decree was given. This is also how most bible scholars today understand these verses. The account at Acts 21:20-32 gives further evidence that this decree was given because the older, traditional Jewish Christians were being stumbled, since once again this very same prohibition found at Acts 15:28, 29 is repeated ten years later in Acts 21:25. Notice specifically how verses 24 brings out that this decree was given because the Jewish Christians thought Paul had discarded all Jewish law and customs which were causing these Jewish Christians to be upset and stumbled. Paul's words quoted above at 1 Cor 8:4-8 once again only adds further evidence that this command was not an eternal, universal law from God since again, he there states that "eating foods sacrificed to idols" (also included in Acts 15:28,29 along with blood) is a personal decision for each individual Christian. The command to abstain from fornication however is an absolute, eternal, universal command, since it is clearly repeated often throughout the Christian Greek scriptures. Not the case at all regarding blood. Nowhere else is this mentioned. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and Galatians 5: 19-21 contain many specific warnings for Christians, but blood is not one of them. Nor is it mentioned anywhere else in the Greek scriptures. And even if it were considered a universal, eternal command, which clearly it is not, that decree then would be regarding the EATING of animal blood, and not the receiving of blood fluid from a living human donor to another living human donor.
*** If consuming blood was such a capitol offense, why were Saul's men not executed when they fell to eating blood along with the meat? (1 Sam. 14:31-35)
*** I also wanted to find out how the most traditional, conservative and orthodox Jews today felt about accepting blood transfusions, since they still object to any traces of blood in their meat and other strict dietary guidelines from the bible by insisting on kosher foods. After researching, I found out that they DO accept blood transfusions, considering these bible commands to be based on the eating and drinking of animal blood; something a blood transfusion is not.
*** Another thing that now clouds the blood transfusion issue altogether for me is the 2000 decree that certain blood "fractions" are now permissible. Many of these are now considered a "conscience matter". Just a few years ago most of these were forbidden. I have studied this very carefully and thoroughly as well. Some of these "fractions" take far more blood and donors to make them, than accepting the whole blood unaltered takes. Some hemophiliac treatments for example, (which have been long permitted) require the collection and storage of massive quantities of blood (up to 2500 blood donors for a single treatment). These are not just some made-up numbers thrown out here, but can be easily verified. Other more common "fractions" still require many liters of blood, from many different people to donate. It is often just a "concentrated" form of blood. These facts bring up two different, problematic issues in my mind then. For one, how can we say that we as Jehovah's Witnesses "abstain from blood", since all of these fractions that Watchtower Society now permits like albumin, EPO, hemoglobin, blood serums, Immunoglobulins, and hemophiliac treatments (clotting factors VIII & IX) clearly tap into the world's blood supply and can be (and are) used by Jehovah's Witnesses today? And two, if then, we as Jehovah's Witnesses can with a clear conscience now USE these fractions that come from the blood supply, why are we then forbidden from donating to this same blood supply that we now are allowed to tap into? And, why are we still not allowed to store our own blood? The pouring of blood "back to the ground" was long ago nailed to the torture stake when Jesus sacrificed his life; hence we are no longer under that Mosaic series of laws. It sure appears to me then, that we no longer abstain from blood, and can and do dip into the worlds blood supply, often in great quantity, yet we are still not allowed to put back into this same supply, nor can we store our own blood.
Another problem with "fractions" (for me) is that certain fractions such as "Albumin" ARE acceptable by the society, but others making up even smaller amounts are not. "Albumin" for example is a blood plasma protein that is produced in the liver and forms a large proportion of all plasma protein. This "authorized" fraction, Albumin, however makes up just 2.2 percent of the whole blood and again IS approved by the society today. White blood cells on the other hand are NOT allowed, not authorized by the society, yet these white blood cells make up less that one percent of whole blood. White blood cells are absolutely needed to fight infections and are often very important for accident and post-surgical patients. Yet again, these white blood cells are not acceptable by the society. Another fraction, Blood "Platelets" are needed to help cause clotting, so people do not bleed to death (especially important with chemotherapy, other cancer treatments and hemophiliacs). Yet platelets are another fraction NOT authorized. Platelets make up only .17 percent of whole blood. That's not even one quarter of one percent, (a far smaller portion than albumin). Yet these platelets are forbidden by the Society. I have read the literature and fail to see the logic of this "approved" and "disapproved" list with no explanations anywhere. It's also worth noting that if you add up all of the fractions that ARE acceptable by the society, you come up with a total of 97 percent of what makes up whole blood that is pumping through our veins right now. However, these cannot be taken together as whole blood, but must be instead broken down and taken separately, in minute fractions. It has been compared before to being allowed to eat ham, bread and cheese, as long as they're kept and eaten separately. Yet not being allowed to eat them together for instance as a ham and cheese sandwich. I just fail to see the reasonableness in this kind of doctrine. "Hemopure" is an acceptable blood-product that Jehovah's Witnesses are allowed to use. It is made from purified bovine, or in simpler terms, Cow's Blood. How can we as humans be allowed to use this purified animal blood today, yet not be allowed to use our own blood, or that of another living human donor?
So then, when I add up all of the facts listed above here; that blood transfusions are not the same as eating blood. That the scriptures themselves are always referring to the "eating or drinking" of animal blood that is forbidden (not transfusions). How Paul shows at 1 Corinthians. 8:4-8 that the Acts 15:29 command is not all encompassing command but had a particular purpose. That Saul's men were not killed after eating blood. How the strictest of Jews today allow blood transfusions. That Jesus clearly demonstrated how life (even that of an animal) was more important than a narrow, strict interpretation of the law, with the "animal that fell into a pit on the Sabbath" illustration he used, and the "Woman with a flow of blood" real-life example. How the one donating blood is a LIVE donor and offering this blood to another person that is also alive and in need. That the Society was wrong before about forbidding vaccinations and organ transplants and then reversed these decisions. Many loyal Witnesses nonetheless died from such stands. And, the Society has now changed its position once again, instead of saying no to all blood, to now say "fractions" of blood are acceptable, even though the particular fractions approved and disapproved seem to have no particular rhyme or reason and we are still not allowed to donate blood nor store their own. Though we can use cow's blood. It seems fairly easy for me then, to come to the conclusion that I can no longer support the society's position on blood transfusions today. In fact I believe it was an erroneous decision from the beginning, and has only been made even more confusing and unstable with the latest "fractions" adjustments.
So, what does one do then? I do love the truth, and certainly the friends in the truth. I have no problems at all with any people in the truth and have spent almost half of my life now in the organization. I believe I get along with about everybody. No exaggerating. This is solely a personal position, a conscience matter regarding organizational policies that I can no longer agree with and accept. If a person I brought into the truth allowed one of their own to die because of this stand, that I helped them to take, I would have a difficult time living with myself. Not only can I no longer support this blood position with a clear conscience, but after thoroughly investigating, I believe it is truly wrong. I can also no longer with a clear conscience bring other people into the organization, since blood is a very integral and well-known position of Jehovah's Witnesses. I cannot see a way around this. Even if the Society were to reverse itself entirely, how would anybody feel about losing a loved one during the last 60 years this has been in force, only to have the policy changed altogether? And what took them so long would be monumental issues in the eyes of many. Imagine how much work would be involved in overhauling all of the literature if this position were reversed. The Bible Topics for Discussion sections for example in the new world translation bibles would have to be changed, and many other things... too many to list here. So I cannot quite see this reversal happening anytime soon if at all. Though others feel a reversal is imminent.
What complicates this entire issue even further for me now, and adds another problem with the organization in my mind, is another entirely separate issue (which I also find greatly disturbing) that will follow my change of position here now. IF I cannot support this doctrine on blood any longer, and if I cannot with a clear conscience have my blood card signed to refuse blood transfusions, I would then be considered as having "disassociated" myself from the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses by this particular stand in and of itself. If another brother or sister were to ask me "why are you no longer going out in the ministry", or "what has happened to you spiritually", or things appear to have changed with you etc. etc.; if I were to reply to them by sharing my honest opinions about the organization's past mistakes, and my opinions disagreeing with the Watchtower Society, I would then be disfellowshipped for Apostasy. This fact in itself does not sit too well with me since I have done nothing wrong here. I still love Jehovah; I love my wife and family. I do not drink, nor practice anything the bible tells me not to. I pay my taxes, try to live honestly and remain a good influence for my family and others. I have not changed as a person at all here. Yet because of a "conscience" issue, and because I can no longer support the society on what I truly believe is a flawed issue, I will be cut-off from my all of my brothers and sisters throughout the organization. This policy too, is just wrong! The Watchtower Society has stated in print several times that it is not infallible; that they DO make mistakes. Yet even though it admits mistakes have been made, it still insists that we as publishers accept whatever it teaches as if it were coming from God himself. Those that do not agree with these teachings and share those opinions (even though nothing else bad or unscriptural has been done) are subsequently disfellowshipped. Your life, as you know it, is ripped apart. To disfellowship another simply because that person might disagree with a particular interpretation of a teaching is not right, just or fair. Past history fully supports the idea that the society has been wrong before and can be wrong now. Organ transplants, vaccinations, end of the world predictions and other doctrinal errors to name just a few. Clearly they were wrong about these issues. Lives have been and are now involved with the current policy on blood transfusions. To be expected to fully support this policy or be expelled is just unreasonable and not in harmony with what we know about Jehovah. To encourage other people we meet in the ministry to "examine their religion", yet at the same time to forbid us to do the same is nothing short of hypocritical. We are told that we can examine our faith, though this must be done "In-house". In other words, only through the society's publications can we examine our religion. Any other sources that are critical are considered apostate and dangerous. I consider this position by the organization to be very similar to my wanting to buy a new Nikon camera for example. Imagine if Nikon told me that I could ONLY use their-own reference material to gain information? Consumer Reports, Popular Photography or any other "Non-Partisan" publication would be completely off limits. And, if I did go to these "outside" sources, and shared any critical opinions/reviews with others, I would no longer be allowed to even buy their camera, plus other people who like Nikon cameras would have to now shun me altogether. How reasonable is this? This is exactly what the society is doing. Those that know me will tell you that whenever I make any type of serious purchase, I do my homework and extensive research. We just recently purchased a high-end scanner; I spent perhaps two months or more comparing scanners, reading reviews, learning as much as I possibly could about this piece of equipment before purchasing. If it is reasonable then to carefully "examine" the purchase of a piece of equipment, and it is reasonable to ask others in our ministry to carefully "examine" their own religion, why is it unreasonable then to carefully "examine" our own religion and means of worshiping God? And, if one does examine his faith and does find problems and then expresses these concerns about what he has learned, how can the "complete removal" of that person be considered anything but completely unfair?
This position also has nothing to do with my own son being disfellowshipped, though some I am sure will choose to believe otherwise. I will however add this information about this personal ordeal that brings to light another problem; After receiving a very emotional phone call from my disfellowshipped son thousands of miles away in September 2004, I was told by one of our elders that it was, "wrong for me to have accepted that phone call". Instead he said I should have told him to "locate the elders in his territory" and that "we need to tighten up things around here in our congregation". This was the most insensitive counsel that I have ever heard in my years in the truth. His mother had recently committed suicide just a couple of years before, he had just turned 18, was own his own for the first time in his life, disfellowshipped, was 5000 miles from home and felt extremely lonely, sad and despondent. Sure, I could have "turned down" that call all right. Who in his right frame of mind though would have done such a thing to their own son or daughter, in such a time of need? Then, nine months later, after discussing it with the rest of my family, we agreed to allow him to return to living in our house, from Maui. (This decision was due to his very deep depression, suicidal tendencies, a drug dependency problem, and having the ACL torn out in his knee...all at the same time). We agreed to allow him back home to get the help needed to get back on his feet, under very strict circumstances I might add (as the watchtower allows) which included his going to meetings, bringing no leaven into the home, turning his life back around by serving Jehovah, (which he did for six months by the way). I was then told by this same elder that my decision to allow him home was "cutting the hand of Jehovah short, and another big mistake", and because of this erroneous decision on my part, I as his father "might be the one destroyed at Armageddon". This same elder then took me off the watchtower reader's list for the first time in my eight years living on this island. (I had no problem with this, but felt I should at least be told about it) When I inquired as to whether it was just a coincidence or by design that I was missing from that list, he told me that it was by "choice" and that there would be "more where that came from". While this "list" of unreasonable responses about my helping my own son after his being disfellowshipped may seem completely unfair and far less than loving, the brother himself truly believed what he was doing was the correct thing. I will also add that there was very little personal resentment on either of our parts. He sincerely believed he was just doing what the society wanted. One of the things I cannot understand then, is how we as Jehovah's Witnesses can spend enormous amounts of time assisting other people in our ministry -people that are often depressed, fighting addictions, language issues, living at times as we know very ungodly lives-, to do better and we ultimately give these ones the help and assistance needed so they can serve God in an acceptable manner. However, if one of our very OWN people or family members has been disfellowshipped, and happens to fall into a similar dangerous pattern (one that often begs for loving assistance now more than ever) we have minimal provisions at all to help these ones of our own to get back onto their feet. They in fact must be "cut off" and completely shunned by all at a time when many will actually need help the most. The example of my son above illustrates this well. For someone to lose their mother at such a young age (15) via a gun in her mouth, and then spiral into a course of rebellion is not that uncommon. But to completely have to cut that person off, without any assistance whatsoever from the congregation, when help is MOST needed at this time, is contrary to what the scriptures teach us about Jehovah. He continued to ask the Israelites to come back to him over and over. Even assisting these former rebels to gain his favor once again. Now, because this same individual (my son) now moves out of my home, I too, as his father, am expected to cut off all ties and association with him. Even keeping business dealings to a minimum. There are downtimes in our lives when we need help and support and love, rather than just blindly cutting these ones off indefinitely. Where is the balance, the love and the help in such a policy as this today? Even if these disfellowshipped ones did turn their course of life around, and did become married, faithful, honest etc. By not agreeing to go back to the meetings for six months (minimum) or sometimes much longer in this shunned state, and then to go back in front of a judicial committee for judging whether they have truly repented, these people would remain disfellowshipped for the rest of their lives.
This letter here and my changes in position toward the organization itself are not based on this situation with my son, or any other "personal" problems. It is solely because of my making a reasonable, logical and careful examination about certain policies that we as Jehovah's Witnesses often blindly accept without questions. This change is not based on any personal problems or, my wanting to leave the organization. In fact leaving is the LAST thing I have even wanted to do. I have always valued the organization. After an exhaustive examination, that has taken many months to go through. And after coming to learn many things I did not know before when I was younger and much more nave than now. There are four specific issues that have changed my opinions about and support for the Watchtower Society today.
1 - For the many reasons clearly stated above, I am thoroughly convinced the position to abstain from blood transfusions is wrong. Lives, in my honest opinion, are needlessly lost because of this dangerously flawed doctrine. Allowing certain blood "fractions" since the year 2000 only complicates and muddies this position even further. Being allowed to USE some fractions from the world blood supply, but not being able to donate towards this same supply, nor store my own blood for medical use, only adds the additional element of hypocrisy to this stand that Jehovah's Witnesses are known the world over for taking. The lack of reasons why some fractions are allowed and other (though smaller) fractions are not allowed adds further to the quandary the society has found itself in today. This stand usually does not give a good witness nor leave a positive impression on people's minds at all.
2 - The Society has a lengthy history of other doctrinal mistakes and medical blunders such as not allowing vaccinations and organ transplants in the not so distant past. These mandates were wrong when they first came off the presses and they were wrong many years later when finally reversed. To attribute these flip-flops to "the light getting brighter" is just irresponsible. Jehovah does not change his mind like this. He is a "God of truth"... "Who cannot lie". Imperfect men in positions of oversight have made these doctrinal decisions, which have caused lives to be cut short without justifiable reasons. There were no apologies made either. This poor historical record of mistakes only makes the current blood transfusion policy even more suspect. Implicit trust in an organization that has a track record of mistakes and errors like this is simply foolish, dangerous and irresponsible. Especially when we must force these policies on younger, inexperienced, helpless ones. To be forced into "practice sessions" with our young people so they can make a better stand against blood transfusions does not sound right either.
3 - The number of times the Society has predicted the "end of the world" is surprisingly large. I never knew just how often this was the case. The end of the system was predicted, in writing, in these years: 1874, 1875, 1881, 1888, 1914, 1915, 1918, (could occur in 1920), 1925, ("resurrection of Princes" in 1929), 1932, 1940, ("any day now" in 1942), ("why not now" in 1951), 1975, and before the generation that was born in 1914 dies, which was dropped in 1996 after it was clearly another false prediction. Every one of these predictions, in writing, has proved false. People sold homes, gave up opportunities to start families, secure employment, gave up opportunities for an education and instead spread a message of doom that was simply untrue with each prediction made. All of these failed. We really are known the world over for these continuous false "end of the world" prophecies. When looking up information from secular (non-apostate, such as encyclopedia) sources, each authority said basically the same thing; that Jehovah's Witnesses are known the world over for our "many end of the world proclamations", that did not come true. Deuteronomy 18:20-22 pointedly states this: "However, the prophet who presumes to speak in my name a word that I have not commanded him to speak or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet must die. 21 And in case you should say in your heart: "How shall we know the word that Jehovah has not spoken?" 22 when the prophet speaks in the name of Jehovah and the word does not occur or come true, that is the word that Jehovah did not speak. With presumptuousness the prophet spoke it. You must not get frightened at him.'"
4 - Despite the numerous errors in doctrine, medical mistakes, end of the world false predictions and unscriptural blood transfusion bans that fill its pages of history, the society still demands full support of its policies and doctrines today. Notice this comment from a 5/1/72 WT (page 272): "That they [Jehovah's Witness] must adhere absolutely to the decisions and scriptural understandings of the Society because God has given it this authority over his people." If this is God's true and only channel, how then can they be so wrong, so often, on doctrine, medical issues, end of the world predictions, and yet still demand complete obedience from its members or face risk of complete shunning? If any baptized Witness *expresses* his thoughts (even if only as opinions) that are contrary to what is taught in the Society's publications right now, they will be disfellowshipped for disrupting unity. Squashed like a bug. This "squelching mechanism" that I like to call it keeps an unhealthy fear in its rank and file members to stay in line. Losing all contact with friends and family is just too much to bear for many. Life as you know it is gone. In addition, we are also told time and again not to even consider looking at outside sources. All of this "outside material" is called "apostate literature." The term "Apostate" applies based on one simple criterion; is it critical of the organization? Most sources critical of the organization are not apostate. They are secular; and they are often simply stating the facts about this organization. Facts, that the society does not want its members to know anything about. Our examining the society can ONLY be done, we are told, if it is done within the organization. So, by not being allowed to examine our own faith through outside sources, and by having the ever-present threat of disfellowshipping hovering over us if we were to speak critically of the organization, most Jehovah's Witnesses do not even know about these many issues that I have just posted above. As a nearly 20 year member, I too never knew many of these things (because we are told not to) until I finally decided to examine based on the unusual circumstances mentioned above about seeing an article on a national news website that allowed critical comments about the organization after the article. Comments that shook my faith so much I decided to investigate things further. Comments that I was not supposed to look at not even think about because they are called "Apostate".
Additionally, I have other (though perhaps less serious) issues that raise doubts in my mind as well. For example, many of the brothers are far more concerned about their "positions" than they are with the genuine well being of the PEOPLE in the congregations. Over and over I have seen this clearly demonstrated. It is sad to watch.
Nowhere is it more obvious that when the circuit overseer visits twice each year. The manner in which many people change for these visits regarding their comments, showing up for service, finally arriving on time and being friendlier is remarkably transparent at times. Also, having to count our time each month and then turn in that time to the headquarters just seems to take away from the value of really wanting to talk to others. Service can at times just be about getting in our double-digit numbers rather than about truly helping people.
The real meaning of witnessing can be lost. I know of many others that feel this way as well. There just seems at times to be so many rules if one wants to remain in good standing. Brothers cannot grow any type of beards. Cannot even work on military or church buildings if self-employed. We're not talking about worshiping there, but even performing a service in these places is forbidden.
We cannot even go into another church for a funeral or wedding of another friend, family member or relative. Our children are not allowed to play any organized sports or join other clubs in or out of school. We are "not encouraged" to get pschycological help for those that really need it. Sisters have to wear dresses at all meetings, service, assemblies etc. I realize many of these are minor to some, but they just illustrate the point that we are governed, as an organization by a set of many rules and regulations that are not all scriptural. This list can just go on and on.
Any ONE of these many issues that are listed above could raise serious doubts in my mind about whether this religion is in fact the one and only truth. However, when I add up ALL these issues together (and many more things not even listed here), I cannot help but come to the inescapable conclusion in my mind, that this is not the sole truth on the earth today. That this is not the one single organization used by God that I had always believed it to be.
This has been and will continue to be one of the most difficult things I have ever had to realize and accept. I do love the friends and have no ill feelings or animosity towards a single one. Not even one. This decision is not about people in this organization. I have many friends and have enjoyed my associations with all of Jehovah's Witnesses. This is instead about the "policies", the doctrinal policies that my conscience will no longer allow me to be a part of. Yes, I still see positive things being accomplished by this organization and have tried to balance it all out before making any definitive decisions. So I am not one-sided when it comes to evaluating the organization and my own subsequent position on what to do.
I might compare this quandary I am in to something like driving a fancy sports car; there might be some truly "good" things it can do. Lots of power, great handling, maybe even a real beauty on the outside. But if you also knew it had these so-called "problems"; perhaps the brakes are known to just go out, or the gas tank explodes when hit from behind or has a lousy track record in terms of reliability, it would still be irresponsible in my sincere opinion to just disregard or "look the other way" when it comes to the apparent flaws that are obvious here... even though there is a measure of good too.
The vehicle that I have chosen to use to worship God (this organization) is very flawed in my honest opinion. So much so, that I no longer find it acceptable to use to worship God. I am not trying to use some type of magnifying glass to intensify the negatives with the society in general or with regards to the blood transfusion position in particular. I am also not influenced by any so-called "apostate" propaganda. What I have written above here is entirely my own. How I personally feel, from my own evaluations, as carefully as I know how. These issues are real, and in my mind they are all very significant problems.
Because I am willing to share this research and information with those that may wish to ask why I no longer can support the organization today (as I'd hope others would do for me), I would soon be disfellowshipped from the organization by my local congregation. Disfellowshipped for simply sharing information that the organization does not want its members to find out on their own. Disfellowshipped for offering unbiased, reasonable, logical and well-researched opinions that are not supported by the Watchtower Society.
I am therefore left with no other alternative that I can think of, but to disassociate myself from the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses. It would hopefully be fair and reasonable to expect to be able to just go out into my own new direction while respecting each other's beliefs along the way. But instead, I will have to be treated as an outcast. Considered as one in the same light now as an unrepentant thief, murderer, drunkard, adulterer etc. Completely shunned, simply for disagreeing with the Watchtower Society's doctrine. Doctrine that has been proven to be wrong many times before.
If anyone has another suggestion or idea that I have not already mentioned, or that might help, I am still open and willing to consider these as well. But I have already looked at all things as conscientiously and thoroughly as I am capable of doing for several months now. I sincerely appreciate those of you taking the time to of read all of this. At least you will know why I will no longer be one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I wish everybody in the organization only good things. I have very fond memories too.
My very best to each and every one of you,
VKT
Post Script:
It has been over two weeks now since writing this letter. I have had the opportunity to speak with many different brothers from this island and the mainland about my concerns over these issues mentioned above. Obviously with people that do care a lot, there is no denying that. However, it must also be mentioned that despite their caring, not one of these people (including many very experienced ones) could successfully deal with these issues that I have printed above. None really even tried! Instead the same theme was spoken throughout all these many conversations; "Wait on Jehovah" or, "The light gets brighter". Also, I heard the "Jehovah can bring back those that died" kind of comments. There was also much worse said than this from fanatical brothers, but I'll just skip those.
These statements do absolutely nothing to help me in dealing with these very specific issues. They are in fact irresponsible, insensitive and quite honestly illogical responses to these problems. These are not loving comments at all. It's just too easy to say that Jehovah will "fix" what the Society has broken. The "NO BLOOD" position has been in effect for 60 years now. How much longer should anybody wait? I have investigated this even further since writing this letter. The evidence is overwhelming; that this policy among Jehovah's Witnesses (enforced via disfellowshipping and now through automatic disassociation) is an erroneous, unscriptural and un-loving application. People have died unnecessarily. People continue to die today. This policy is still nonetheless forced on all of Jehovah's Witnesses today. I cannot, with a clean conscience then, continue to support this unfair doctrine personally. I cannot continue to bring people into the organization that will push this on them either. When such ones suggest I wait on Jehovah, wouldn't it be more accurate to say "Let's just wait on the Society"? No, I will not wait on the society while more continue to lose their lives needlessly. It would be irresponsible to take such a position today.
Because of my simple "disagreement" with this policy now, the elders that visited me showed that this alone would constitute "Apostasy". Not spreading it, and not having a transfusion, but by simply "believing" it is wrong. This was based on the definition of apostasy in the reasoning book exclusively. This is of course absolutely not true. I am not disagreeing with what the bible teaches (as they claim) I am instead simply disagreeing with how the Watchtower Society interprets this scripture and thus forces all to comply with its interpretation, or risk judicial proceedings and disfellowshipping. The same Watchtower Society that was clearly wrong about Vaccinations in the past, Organ transplants as well as many end of the world predictions. These brothers have now given me three options; either recant my position altogether (and still be reproved at the very least), or be disfellowshipped, or to disassociate myself from the organization altogether. What an unfair set of choices. Needless to say, this is just another reason why I fail to believe this is the lone TRUE Christian congregation on the earth today, in addition to the many reasons listed above. I officially choose the third option. I therefore officially resign my membership from the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses.
I wish you all much success and happiness.
Thanks for your time, attention and many years of fellowship.
Vincent [last name withheld to respect privacy]
Lorenzo's Testimony
The following is a wonderful story that shows that people should never give up praying and interceding for people trapped in cults. The author is right on target about the lack of meaningful prayer life within the org. Everything they do is so perfunctory, including prayer, but that is to be expected when they really don't know who they are praying to because there is no personal relationship with Him. Furthermore, how can the Holy Spirit intercede and Christ mediate for us when we pray if we have a completely twisted concept of the person and nature of these two persons in the Godhead? Certainly, the Holy Spirit must be very offended at being likened by the Watchtower Society to wind or electricity and completely stripped of his personhood, just as Christ must be when stripped of His divinity.
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One thing that has always bothered me about JW prayer is also that they never intercede for others in prayer. They do not pray for the sick or others experiencing crisis, whether inside or outside their group. They claim to have so much love among themselves yet they won't even pray for one another when they are going thru trials?? I find that absolutely remarkable! Of course, too, they believe that everyone in Christendom is in spiritual darkness and under the devil's power. Why not pray for them, then? Why not pray for humankind, in general, since they are so convinced that all mankind will be destroyed by Jehovah at Armageddon if they have not attached themselves to the WT "ark of salvation"? There is consistent proof that while Jehovah's Witnesses claim to be good Christian people, claim to care about others, and claim that they have such great love among themselves which marks them as the only true followers of Christ, they completely miss the mark!
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In fact,when the Apostle James speaks of the mark of true religion being--not only keeping one's self without spot from the world--but looking after orphans, widows, and others in need, they fail miserably. I have often brought this up to JWs and asked them why, then, do they not perform any acts of charity or donate to organizations which do? Where are they in situations of catastrophe, like in Hurricane Katrina, besides volunteering to repair Kingdom Hall roofs? And, while we are at it, since they are now allowed to receive blood fractions, why won't they donate blood back to the blood supply, especially considering how much whole blood must be spun down to obtain said fractions?
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In all things, they have no problems taking from society but they are entirely unwilling to give back to society. All of a sudden, now they want to be "no part of the world" when it comes to giving back. Recently, in the news, there was a European country which was trying to ban the JWs for just this reason because they didn't feel that religious liberty should extend to groups that only took away from but never contributed to society. Apparently, this is a situation which is receiving wide spread notice today.
One very important Biblical truth that bears pointing out is that while the Bible does say that Christ's disciples will be known by the love amongst themselves, it NEVER says that this love amongst the brethren is to preclude showing love to others who are not in the Church. In fact, it is just the opposite. Jesus said that we should treat people in need as though it were Him in need. And, when John 3:16 talks about how
God so loved the world, he is talking about the "world" of mankind, when we look at the original language being used. A true follower of Christ will,in fact, extend to others the same Grace which Christ has extended to him/her.
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The Watchtower Society, on the other hand, is selfish, self-serving, enslaving, and capitalistic. It doesn't care any more about its own members than it cares for society at large and that's the sad truth.
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Without any further ado, we present Lorenzo's testimony about something that happened to him recently, since he left the Jehovah's Witnesses. Lorenzo, no longer a proponent of the Watchtower Society, is now an advocate of only Jesus Christ :
Lorenzo writes:
"Since leaving Jehovah's Witnesses I have been continuing my door to door ministry with a slight twist. I am warning people about jw's and other high control cults. I leave stickers on WT literature I find at Laundromats and doctor offices. The stickers are labeled WARNING! This literature is from a secretive, dangerous cult. Since there are many Spanish speakers in this rural community I live in I have them printed up in Spanish too for their benefit.
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This afternoon around 2 PM I was out looking for people when a lady came up to me and told me to get off her street. She said she knows me from prior visits and she knows all about us jw's and that if I knew what was good for me I would leave. I smiled at her and she got really upset with me for that. She was about to go off on me when I asked her if she knew that I had left the Watchtower Cult. She froze. She smiled and said that we needed to talk. We sat on her porch and she asked about what I am doing.
When I showed her my stickers and brochures on cults and false jw doctrine she cried. She said that she had said prayers and asked God all weekend to send people to warn people about this evil cult. She had been a victim of physical abuse by her elder husband and had fled him and the religion years before. She had no idea how to get the word out, so I told her to go to her library and access the internet and look up a site that gives ideas on how to deal effectively with cults.
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I felt good. I am effecting positive change in my community and here online [in Freedom Beacon Ministries' support groups]. I am spreading the Good News, who is in fact Jesus Christ. I came home and I prayed from about 4 pm until around 7. That is the longest I have ever prayed. I cannot explain the joy and love I felt being in Jesus' presence. I felt like I would literally drown in love. I begged him to take His hand off me to spare my life.
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After over 40 years in the Watchtower I never prayed. Not like this. I am finally free of this cult and now I will free other trapped souls in Jesus precious Name!
A YOUNG WOMAN, TALKS ABOUT GROWING UP A JW:
Posted, March, 2009
In 1985 my mother and I moved to Michigan to be closer to her family. She had been discharged from the military after an accident that left her disabled. My mother was baptized two months later.
In 1989 I started school and my mother was able to return to work. During this time, she started leaving me with a witness family after school so that she could hold her full-time job. Some other kids from the Kingdom Hall stayed there too. The baby-sitter’s son was at least five years older than all of us and was very mean. He wouldn’t allow us to sit on the couch or play with certain toys unless we did the perverted things that he asked us to. I never did the things he asked, so one day he forced me.
How his mother never heard me screaming, I’ll never understand. I told my mother what happened and the next day, I was staying in a commercial daycare facility. Nothing was ever said about it again and no one at the Kingdom Hall seemed to know anything about it. His mother shot herself a few years later.
My mother’s job wasn’t making ends meet now that she had to pay more for daycare. This stressed her out and she took it out on me frequently. On one occasion, she pushed me down a flight of stairs for losing a third paid of mittens. She would go on screaming tirades for what seemed like hours, slapping me, spanking me, knocking me in the head… And afterward, she would apologize and try to explain that I should be like Jesus and forgive her. My answer every time she said, “I’m sorry” was “You’re forgiven.”
School was getting more difficult for me. 1st grade brought on a whole new round of tests. In kindergarten, my teachers accommodated my beliefs and made changes so I never knew I was missing out or doing anything different from the other children. My first grade teacher was not so accommodating. During holiday parties, I was sent to the cafeteria to help with kitchen work. If they read a book that contained holidays or birthdays, I was dismissed to the library to assist the librarian with checking in returned books. Everyone made fun of me because mine was the only birthday not listed on the calendar. They said I didn’t exist. And when treats were brought in for birthdays, they would stand around my desk and eat them in front of me… Six and seven year olds can be so cruel.
One Saturday, during field service, it was announced that we would be working territory where a lot of my classmates lived. I felt sick. They all knew who the JW’s were and made fun of them for knocking on the doors. They traded stories about how their parents scared the JW’s away with shotguns and attack dogs. And there I was, walking up the walk way to one of my classmates houses…
He recognized me, but didn’t say anything. His father came to the door and shooed us away and then called out to the entire neighborhood that the “Jehoho’s” were there.
Needless to say, that Monday was a nightmare. They called me “Jehoho” for the rest of the year. Even my teacher changed how she treated me. She would humiliate me in front of the class and call me names.
By the time I’d started eighth grade, I was sinking into a depression. Most of my friends from the kingdom hall had been disfellowshipped. My mother watched all the other parents who lost their children to “the world” and decided that I couldn’t be trusted. She put a vice-like grip on everything in my life. TV shows that had previously been okay were suddenly evil, movies that I’d watched a million times were burned, books, teen magazines, CDs, music, clothing, jewelry, make up… You name it, it was evil and banned from the house.
My depression worsened when the few friends I had left were deemed “bad association” because their parents weren’t dominating their life. I remember an elder giving a talk around that time about how children are like springs. “We must keep them under our thumb until they can be trusted to not bounce all over the place when they are let go.” She started calling me her “little spring” after that…
A new family moved to the area. A girl my age and her mother came to our book study and I was instantly drawn to her. My mother, not wanting to look like an “unwelcoming” neighbor, allowed me to spend the weekend at her house.
This girl and I became best friends and I rarely spent a weekend at home after that.
She allowed me to be myself, which was new to me. I was used to being restricted at all times. I told her one day that I’d never smoked or drank before.
She snuck me into her older brother’s bedroom where I drank my first beer and smoked my first cigarette. After that, all bets were off. I was living the “double life” that I’d heard so much about from the Young People Ask book. After a while, I resented the fact that I had to be fake at home.
One night in 1998, she passed out from drinking too much and I was left with her brothers. One was 18 and one was 21. I was raped that night. I was 14. I didn’t get a chance to tell my mother. Her mother called, frantically asking if my mother would press charges. My mother kept saying, “for what?”
“Rape!” she said.
My mother looked at me like I was some kind of dirty whore. She agreed not to press charges, saying it would bring a bad name against Jehovah’s people.
By the time I graduated high school, I was horribly depressed. I’d taken medications to try to curb it, but nothing helped. I became like a robot. Going through the motions. Praying for eternal death since the idea of being resurrected was a joke to me.
In 2003, I met my first serious boyfriend. He was a witness, but felt the same as I did as far as the oppression. I got high with him, for the first time, before a circuit assembly. Two weeks later, I was disfellowshipped after it was determined that I “was probably repentant, but would probably do it again anyway.”
Living with my mother became worse, if that was even possible. I was to be up and dressed and studied and waiting in the car before every meeting. If I missed, I was going to be kicked out!
Depression turned to insanity. Suddenly, I stopped praying for death. I decided I would die. My mother was at work and I was done playing games.
I called her, knife in hand, to say good bye.
I ended up in the psychiatric unit at the hospital. And there I stayed, overly medicated and full of hate, for six weeks. My mother didn’t come every day. And only select members of my family (who weren’t JW) bothered to come see me. For the first time ever, I let loose with my thoughts, opinions, and emotions. The nurses hated me. My mother thought I was possessed. I couldn’t have been happier!
By the time I was discharged, I diagnosed as bipolar with schizo-affective disorder. My mother was convinced that what I needed was more “bible study.” Since I was disfellowshipped, she couldn’t do this outright. So she would follow me around the house, reading whatever book out loud and pondering “what the brothers were trying to express.” It was hard to keep a straight face. She sounded just like one of the “how to study” presentations from an assembly: “Wow! This paragraph is telling me I may be spending too much time watching television. Hmmm… I wonder what scriptures I can use to help me with this problem. Oh! The brothers lovingly listed some under the paragraph. Let me see what they say…”
After a while, the urge to kill myself returned. Not from her one-sided study sessions, but because I was lonely. Not having any friends on the “outside” and losing all the ones, including most of my family, on the “inside” left me by myself. One day, while she was “studying” at me while I watched TV, I told her I couldn’t take anymore and that I wanted to be reinstated. And if I didn’t get reinstated, I would kill myself. Manipulative on my part, yes, but it worked. I had a committee meeting the following week. They told me in light of my recent diagnosis, I was not “mentally sound” when I made the decision to smoke pot and would therefore be reinstated.
I wasn’t happy about the decision, because I knew ultimately that I didn’t care anything about the religion itself and would probably be “out” again at some point. But my mother was a basket case over it. She made a big scene when they announced it and sobbed through the rest of the meeting. Afterward, the people who had ignored me for months lined up to tell me, “Welcome back!”
I never stopped seeing my boyfriend. He would sneak over after my mother left for work in the mornings. I never stopped smoking pot (I guess the elders were right). And by this time, I was close to losing my virginity.
I found a loophole in my mother’s death grip on my life. She would let me do almost anything if I told her it was something ‘spiritual.’ I soon began to take overnight trips to a nearby city to “study the Watchtower” with some other young people. Actually, I was going to parties and running with a gang.
On my 20th birthday, high and drunk, I ended up losing my virginity to my boyfriend’s best friend. Out of anger and hurt, he called my mother the next morning and told her EVERY THING! I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same in his position.
Needless to say I was announced the following week as being disfellowshiped. During my committee meeting, one elder told me that my Bipolar disorder was probably demonic possession. He said, “We can’t be sure that you aren’t possessed by Satan himself after everything that you’ve done.” Wow…
My mother finally kicked me out. With nowhere to go, I decided to try to find my father. When I did, he was more than willing to have me move in. He lived in Atlanta with his wife. I found out that my father was raised by his mother, a heavy handed black woman who resented him because he was darker skinned than the rest of her children. She raised him and his brothers as Jehovah’s Witnesses. He tried to please her in his early years by getting baptized and going in service. But after a while, he got tired of pretending and was disfellowshipped at 14 for fornication.
He used to ask me how many religions God needed. My answer was "One." He shook his head and said, "Why? He's God. All powerful. He knows you inside and out. He knows what you've done and what you will do. It doesn't matter what religion you are. We are all going to be judged individually." Now that was real "New Light" for me!
I got married at 21 and struggled with guilt over wanting to leave the watchtower. My mother would send me literature constantly and tell me to get to my meetings. My husband, seeing how torn up I was, decided to try studying. After three months, he was appalled. He said going to meetings was like sitting in a crowd of bobble heads. Everyone nodded no matter what the speaker said. And during his studies, his "teacher" would get upset if his questions deviated from the information in the book. He asked, "Can we study without these books?" And the "teacher" said, "They're guides, so no. We have to use them." He discontinued his study after that, and took up drug use instead. By this time, I had been reinstated, but the meetings and field service and studying took up so much time, my husband was angry with me because he was always alone. We never did anything together. So, we decided to split up. He said, "I can't be married to someone who's married to a cult."
When I told the "friends" at the KH that I was divorcing my husband, they all wanted to know why, asking for intimate details. I told them I was not comfortable with sharing because I didn't know them well. They didn't like that. The elders began harassing me too, saying I needed to have a meeting with them about it. Right around that time, I changed my phone number and moved to a different city for a new job. I decided not to find the local kingdom hall right away, and just take some time to reflect. During that time, I found Kelli and Candy and Freedom Beacon Ministries. My eyes have been opened! I'm still struggling with it all, but I'm determined to do what's best for me and for my relationship with the creator. At this point, I'm pretty sure it doesn't involve returning to the Kingdom Hall.
--Name withheld until dissociation with the WTS is completed