These are usually funny, clever, or just odd. But they are still kool.

i'm doin that thing... you know, that thing that villian's do when they're on penicillian --K man
Kool Away Messages ~

Bathroom Related Away Messages

Nature is calling and I'm answering!
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HELP! I'm trapped in the toilet, I fell in. Can you please help me... Hello... Hello.. Uh-oh i think someone is coming.


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I'm taking advantage of indoor pluming! I'll be right back!


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Doctors suggest that you should drink at least 64 oz. of water a day. Being a drone, I make sure to do this. Unfortunately it does have some side effects... Leave a message, I'll be back soon.


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It's that time of week again. I am in the shower.


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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

If your wondering where the P is... its about to run down my leg in a second.


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When you got to go, you got to go.


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I am not here I'm on the potty, but don't leave if you're a hotty


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I am taking a shower. By the way %n(their screen name) you are starting to smell you need to take one too!


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I'm in a foreign land far far away... Oh wait, this is just the bathroom.


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Making an offering to the porcelain god... be back in about 20 minutes.


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Hey I am relieving myself, I'll be back when its all over.

 

Phone Related Away Messages

I like long walks especially when there taken by people like you.
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Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but %n(their screen name) abuses the privilege.


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The Village called and said they were looking for %n(their screen name). They're missing their Idiot.


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%n(their screen name), it's ok, half the people in the world are below average too.


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Oh dear! Looks like %n(their screen name) fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!


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I'm bored, your boring, so don't leave a message.


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Listen %n(their screen name), if I wanted to talk to you, I would be here wouldn't I?


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All the idiots of the world have surronded one computer... yours.


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I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll be sure to ignore it.


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I'm obviously doing something more important than you.


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If a thousand people love you, I am in that thousand. If a hundred people love you, I am in that hundred. If ten people love you I am in that ten. If only one person loves you, you guessed it, that person is me! Ahh... sorry.. as of right now, I am not here. You know what that means!


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I'm not here right now because I'm waiting for %n(their screen name) to get offline.

 

School Related Away Messages

Beleeve it or not i am aktually at klass tyring two git meself en edumacation.....lev a msage?
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Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


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To steal ideas from one person, would be plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is called research.


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It's okay for students to ask dumb questions; they're easier to handle than dumb mistakes.


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Don't judge a book by it's movie


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I am working hard... or am I hardly working?


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I think of class as nap time with background noise.


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Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.


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Math and alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and derive.


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The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.


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A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.


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I am studying, which is something that you should be doing.

 

Happy Away Messages

 

Good, better, best; never let it rest till your good is better and your better is best.
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.


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Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder "What happened?"

Which type of person are you?


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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars.


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There's this lost cause I believe in called myself.


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Courage is only fear that's said it's prayers.


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The lesson is in the struggle, not the victory.


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"To give anything less then your best is to sacrifice the gift."
- Steve Prefontaine


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Only those who can see the invisible, can do the impossible.


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No great work is impossible. The word it self says I'm possible


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When you were born, everyone around you was smiling and you were crying. Live your life so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone around you is crying.


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It's not where you came from...it's where you're going...It's not what's on you...but what's in you...it's not what you're driving it's what drives you that's important.

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Misc Away Messages

Food makes life mmmmm mmmmm better!
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I'm getting my tummy refill right now, I will be back when it is full.


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Transitive Property of Food:
Me = Human
Human = Eat Food
Me = Eat Food


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I'm away eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner. if your smart, you'll figure out which one it is.


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I'm single-handily trying to free the world of hunger, starting with myself.


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Filling my tummy with something very yummy.


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- Click here to download it now for free!!!


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I am at my refrigerating unit...


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I'm stuffing my face.


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I would talk to you but my mom told me never to talk wih my mouth full.


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My stomach is growling and I'm answering.


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Filling up my tummy.


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Hunger has driven man to insanity, today it has driven me from my computer.