A Mother's Grief

A mother's grief is hard to bear

The love she had she cannot share

Life she gave to her child one day

A love so strong you can't take away

The bond between a mother and child

Is stronger then a river that runs wild

Then one day fate would step in

That would tear at her inner being within

The child she bore and gave life to

She had no idea about what he would do

She wasn't prepared for the news that day

That her son was gone and went away

The tragic fate that he did choose

The life she bore now would lose

How can you cope with life that way

When all you can do is wipe the tears away

Your heart once happy and full of joy

Now seems useless you lost your boy

God does work in mysterious ways

He took your Son home on his dying day

His soul now free with the angels above

His life now complete with God's eternal love

Author: Robert Walters Sr.

The following poems were written by Jenna Marie Michelsen.   

 In my heart, Jenna will always be Wayne's girlfriend...and the only girlfriend of Wayne that I will ever know.  I love her like a daughter and I am so proud of how she has gone on with her life and is reaching for the goals that she has created for her future         

    Jenna told me that she smiled in this picture because Wayne was there.

(References to William and Will are actually Wayne.  His high school friends call him Will.) 

Wright is my brother and Wayne's Uncle.  His poem has examples of Wayne's kind and gentle spirit plus a few funny memories from Wayne's chldhood.   Wright had the poem laminated and placed it at Wayne's grave after the funeral, where it stayed for many, many weeks.

A Special Thanks (For) Giving

As it came time for me to sit down and pray

I made a special request of our God today

For a wonderful young man went home yesterday

And I’m asking the Lord to tell him what we have to say

Remember when your Granddad suffered a stroke

And to express my feelings, a poem I wrote

You were the first to read it and thought of it well

Now this one is yours, for the world we must tell

Of how much richer we are to have shared time with you

Only sixteen years together was way too few

You are my nephew by title but feel like my brother

Wayne is your dad, my sister your mother

So young and handsome, special and kind

No one else like you can they find

We watched you grow from a child to a man

And admired your talents and love of the land

You’d roam the Grandparent’s yard—it was your domain

Building camps and trails and playing pirate games

So lost in imagination when ruling the ship on the sea

That you relieved yourself from the gangplank for all the world to see

Your passion for the outdoors where you loved to roam

Where you’d hunt, fish and play became a second home

We would throw pillows and wrestle in the family den

And only recently did it become apparent I could no longer win

Yes, a man you were quickly becoming—that was you

But your impact will be missed most by the smallest two

Bailey and Wright loved to see you every time we came

And not having you here is going to feel awfully strange

But there is good to be learned from this tragic tale

And that this is only temporary—not a permanent spell

Because as it has been said many times before

That as a ship leaves port and fades from shore

To those left behind it is a sad goodbye

But over the next horizon are crowds waving hi

For every goodbye means another hello

They look—is  it? Yes—it’s him! Our new-born-fellow!

To greet you and hug you and welcome you home

We’ve been waiting for you—you’re one of our own

Because of the price paid over two thousand years ago

And because you accepted His invitation as we all know

Your family now is bigger than ever before

In a word filled with joy and no more war

But oh how our hearts ache and are filled with pain

But that’s because we love you so very much dear Wayne

Maybe now we can understand how you must have felt

We’re so very sorry we couldn’t have helped

Because sixteen year-old minds build mountains out of hills

That allows little room for overcoming due to limited skills

Thank you Dear Heavenly father for sharing Wayne with us

Now we ask that You put him in Your trust

You are the author of perfect love, harmony and peace

And only You can make his burdens cease

Please wrap Your loving arms around Your precious child

And tell him we’ll see him again in awhile

Only sixteen years together was not nearly enough

But because of Your Son, it never again will be this tough

Thank you Dear God for the gift of eternal life together

And when we see Wayne again, it will always be forever

The following  was written by my sister-in-law and Wright's wife.  Her words capture Wayne's spirit so beautifully as she shares special memories that reflect the special sensitive and caring aspect of Wayne's personality. Unfortunately, this was a quality that Wayne began to 'hide' as he grew older.  I think he felt it was not 'manly' yet it was truly a very important part of Wayne

Jeanne sent this 'story' out by email a few days after Wayne's death and she received response from a woman who was offering support and comfort -  even though she did not know us.  This woman, named Gail, lost her son to suicide a few years ago too.  And out of the goodness of her heart -  she reached out and has proven to be so strong and willing to share her insights, her wisdom and her love without hesitation.  I truly believe having Gail to 'hold my hand' those first few weeks and months, and being able to tell me what to expect based on her experience - made a HUGE difference in being able to cope and survive.  So Jeanne's 'story' is important because it IS Wayne but also because it brought someone into my life who has helped me find the path to surviving.

Here is Jeanne's 'Story':

November 12, 2003

To my family, friends, and respectfully, to Wayne's mom, Eden, my sister-in-law, Nikki, my in-laws, Bettie and Ed and to other family members,

"In loving memory of my sweet, nephew Wayne"

On Tuesday, November 11th, we got the call. My nephew, dear, sweet Wayne had left this world. He had just turned sweet 16, on November 3rd, and a teenager's life, which can be so full of turmoil, ended yesterday, because he took his own life.

In his death, I want his beautiful life to be used as a vessel to remind us to reach out and love one another and especially the children in our lives.

Wayne was so loved by his parents, his grandparents and his family. But for a reason unknown to us all, he felt that his life had to end. I pray that his family has peace and knows that Wayne, did know that he was loved, but he had some pain as a teenager that caused him to end his own life.

Wayne had a beautiful smile and bright blue eyes like his mom. When our two kids went to NC to visit, it was Wayne that they wanted to run and play with. Our kids were young and he was a teenager. But he always had so much patience and he would tease them, play hide-and-seek, play games and chase them until they fell to the ground with laughter! Oh, how they loved their big cousin Wayne!

Wayne was in high school. He recently fended off a wild dog while he and his girlfriend walked through a neighborhood. He had to go to the hospital because of a bad bite to his leg. But to our kids, he was a hero, because he took the bite and protected his girlfriend from the dog. Our kids were so proud of his courage and they told the story of their hero, cousin Wayne, over and over to their friends.

As a teenager, he recently went to the hospital to comfort his grandfather. I am told that he told his grandaddy, "read the Bible grandaddy, read the Bible." I know that he had the love of God in his heart.

I remember Wayne growing up as a child. What an artist! He drew beautifully detailed pictures of Indians. I remember his mother driving him in the car when he was a toddler. He loved to sing the nursery rhymes. I remember when he was reading the road signs, because he could finally read! He was so excited as he blurted out, "Stop! Caution! Road!" And I remember a dear child who loved to play outside on the ship and the treehouse that his grandfather had lovingly built him, that was in his grandparent's backyard. I remember the love in his eyes as he held his new baby sister, Lauren.

These are probarly similar memories that we all have of our own children or our own neices or nephews or friends. Children are a precious gift.

Our good Lord asked us to "Love one another." Today, in Wayne's memory, please take a moment during your busy day to reach out or pick up the telephone and tell that special child in your life, a daughter, son, neice, nephew, grandchild or a friend, how much you love him.

I know that Wayne knew he was loved. I pray that somehow he will know that his loving memory will inspire many others to reach out to one another, just like Jesus asked us all to do.

If you feel touched to do so, please share this story with others in the memory of "my sweet nephew, Wayne." Also, please keep his family in your prayers in the days ahead.
Thank you,      Jeanne