You Belong To Me
Author: The Empress
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating: G-Fluff Mush
Summary: This little trip is inspired by Cae. I totally agree that the song IS Ryan and Colin. I felt the need hit me like a tidal wave as I drove home. I want to Thank YOU Cae for Inspiration!! You're beautiful!!
Disclaimer: I don't own these beautiful people, I just love how they make me feel!!!!
Dedicated to Everyone who LOVES Ryan and Colin and LOVE what they mean to each other!!! The Empress will be off to happy dreamland!!
A touch.
A gentle caress.
I awake.
There is a soft white fuzzy haze around me as I rub my eyes. A shadow at the end of my bed. I blink and it is gone.
Faint music playing softly in the background. A song that is familiar, but I do not know the name of.
It draws my attention to a note on the nightstand.
"You belong to me."
See the pyramids along the Nile,
watch the sun rise on a tropic isle,
just remember darlin all the while...
"Why are we here Ryan?" I ask again. Ryan hasn't spoken much to me the entire trip. He has a most serene look. A faraway place he has gone to in his mind and he has yet to open the veil and let me share. His large hand is resting softly on top of mine and a quiet sense of calm settles over me as I look out over the ocean. It is beautiful here. But it is more beautiful sitting in his presence. He doesn't need to say much, I realize. His peaceful smile calms my nerves and I lean into his shoulder, resting my head there gathering its warmth, fore I am suddenly chilled. The music continues to play somewhere in the distance. I feel it as it penetrates my soul. What is the name?
See the market place in Old Algiers,
send me photographs and souvenirs,
just remember when a dream appears ...
I awake and he is gone. I search and search for him and he is not there. I can't remember when he left. A hollow emptiness eats away at my soul, my body craves him. I need him like the air I breathe. Where is he? I fall asleep again and he touches me, I open my eyes and he is there, looking down at me. He kneels before the bed and brushes his fingers softly across my cheek. I lean into the caress and he smiles. He closes his eyes as if he remembers something. The music grows louder now and I almost swoon at how it affects me. How I feel it radiating from his body. I need to know. And yet, I've known it all along. I blink my eyes and he is gone once again, leaving me reaching reaching, for the fuzzy white haze, the soft glow that envelops me.
I'll be so alone without you.
Maybe you'll be lonesome too,
and blue....
A tear.
A sigh.
An ache inside.
"What is it Ryan?" I ask him one day. It doesn't strike me as odd that he hasn't spoken. He looks at me with such sadness that seeps its way inside the very fiber of my being. I feel him. I turn my eyes to the sky as we stare at each other across the distance. We are not very far apart, but it seems like miles as I look into the eyes of a stranger I have known all of my life. I need him close. I need him close enough to share the same air, the same breath, but it's the space between that keeps us apart.
Fly the ocean in a silver plane,
see the jungle when its wet with rain,
just remember till you're home again, you belong to me.
He comes to me at night. And it is all I can remember. I hear the music far away and it makes sense to me now. I know why we are here. I know why we are drawn. I know why we live and I know why we died.
"Is this heaven?"
Ryan smiles softly, every range of emotion playing across his features, looks at me a moment longer, and takes my hand.
I understand now.
So Far Away
Author:The Empress
Pairing: Ry/Col
Rating: PG-13ish
Summary: What could possibly being happening as we speak. The Empress certainly hopes not.
Disclaimer: I'm using the song Far Away By Nickelback. I don't own not a damn thing...so tra la la!
This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
Cause you know, you k now, you know…
"Just call him."
"I can’t, Brad."
"Why not?"
Colin looked at him incredulously. "Why not, you ask? Brad Sherwood, you’ve known Ryan Stiles nearly as long as I have. You know how he is, his stubbornness, his pride."
"He’s hurting."
"I know he is Brad, I’ve tried. You know I’ve tried."
"Try again."
Colin looked at his partner with a sad, weary smile. He turned and walked away. Brad watched Colin’s sagging shoulders as his friend walked down the path. Brad shook his head.
Ryan Stiles put down his glass, his fifth of the night. What the hell, the night was still young. He had a long way to go. He ran a hand through his graying hair. Far too much of it these days, he mused. Far too many wrinkles as well, he noticed as he lifted his tired gaze to the mirror behind the bar. Who was that stranger looking back at him? The same stranger who met him every night at this time, at this place. He took the last gulp hard, almost forcing the liquid down his throat as if even it was battling against him, and slammed the glass on the counter. "Hit me." He barked at the man behind the bar. He took to studying the ice while he waited. The bartender just looked at him and filled another glass. Never complain with the paying customers. And this one had been paying for a long time.
He surveyed the bar for the twentieth time. "Where is he?" Ryan sighed impatiently. 'If you tell someone to meet you somewhere, at least have the decency to show up when you say you will.' He should have backed out. He knew he should have. All the man could possibly want is to just would’a should’a could’a him more and right now he couldn’t stand to hear it. Right now, he didn’t want to hear it.
He was only mildly surprised to hear that Colin would agree to meet on his terms, when it was Colin who actually made the call. "Alright, Ryan." he had remembered him saying, just like he always said, the agreeable little puppy, even though he did not fail to miss the edge in his voice. He knew that edge very well and four years was not long enough to forget. "Well, fuck it. He can be pissed all he wants. I don’t even know what the hell he wants or what he’s doing and I don’t really give a fucking care at this point."
Ryan almost choked on his words as a gentle hand grasped his shoulder. The same gentle hand he had felt so many times over so many years. ‘I know your lips’, he remembered from long ago. ‘Well I know so much more’, he thought bitterly. His shoulder burned where the hand touched and for a moment he was almost too scared to turn and see whom the hand belonged to.
"Waiting long?" Colin said softly, his hand reluctantly dropped from Ryan’s shoulder. He felt uneasy touching him now. The familiarity was no longer present. What he touched now was hard, cold, distant.
"Does it matter?" Ryan turned to face him.
They both were taken aback at the sight of the other. Four years should not have done the damage that it had to the two men. Each just stared silently at each other for a brief uncomfortable moment. They each took inventory of the new wrinkles, the new sags, the new grays the stark whites. Where was the innocence of youth? So far away, seemed like yesterday. Even four years should have left them in better shape than they were now, but all each could read was misery and pain, the withdraw of being separated. It was there like a cold hard slap, all that was needed was for someone to acknowledge it.
"You’re looking well…" Colin started then faltered. He knew he was lying and it was a joke to pretend to try with this man.
"Get to the point, Col." Ryan said his anger starting to rise.
He had no idea why he was getting so defensive. The man did come all this way. It had to be something important. And this was his friend. Sure he saw him on extremely rare occasions when they ran into one another from time to time, but he had known him and loved him like a brother and more for so many years, it should not matter, the miles, the distance. How long will he live this lie? He wasn’t going to make it easy. Colin had it coming. After all, he deserted Ryan, when Whose Line was over. There was nothing much Colin could say to him now that would make much of a difference to mask that fact.
"Alright, Ryan." Colin said once again.
It seemed he was always giving in, placating to Ryan’s moods, his swings. They were always on a dangerous ride of who yells and who backs down. This time though, Colin was at the end. This time there was no turning back. If Ryan refused, there would be no more coming, no more compromising. No matter what the future held. This was it.
"What happened to you?" he said levelly looking Ryan in his eyes.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ryan said standing up from the stool. He tried to keep his voice low, but this condescending crap he had put up with for years was not the way to break the ice with him.
"Ryan, calm yourself." Colin said in monotone, trying to use his tried and true technique, but it came out more ragged and worn than he expected. The act was old.
"Oh fuck you, Col." Ryan said barely letting the other man get a word in, and at this point not even bothering to let him try. "Don’t come down here to pull your shit on me, this pity party is getting ridiculous. Just go back to Sherwood and live your fantasy life. Do your gigs and leave me the hell alone. Just go be fucking happy." Ryan said the last word with the slightest hint of a sob. ‘Damnit’ he thought to himself. ‘Don’t do this’.
Colin didn’t fail to miss the note of sadness and still watched his friend’s every move. He knew from experience to let the little explosions go and focus on what the meaning of the words was behind the sentiment. He didn’t say anything for another moment just looked at Ryan as Ryan stood there looking at him, waiting him out, coming down from his first attempt to get Colin as mad as he felt right now. It was always his tactic. The problem was, Colin knew. Just as he knew Colin’s moves. It was the same dance, the same act over and over, it was old.
Colin turned to the bar and held up two fingers. The bartender nodded slightly and set the drinks before the man. Colin took them and motioned for Ryan to follow him to the back of the bar, as to not draw any more attention in their direction. Ryan let out an exasperated sigh and followed, only because he knew he would.
Colin set the drinks down on a worn table and motioned for Ryan to sit. He still hadn’t spoken a word since Ryan’s outburst.
"I asked you a question." He said deathly quiet.
"And I told you an answer." Ryan said without moving. He stood there using his height to stare Colin down. He really was digging into his bag of tricks, trying anything to gain control of the situation. Colin still looked unfazed. "I don’t need your help, if that’s what you are trying to do here. I’m financially secure, my marriage is what it ever was, a joke, and as for work…you know I don’t really care either way on that." Ryan looked down at his glass, watching as the ice shifted.
"What has happened to you?" Colin said refusing to let up. "You are not the same man I’ve known most of my life. You are not the confident, self-assured smart ass that can win everyone over with a mischievous smile. Looking at you now, I don’t see the fire behind your eyes. I see pain. I see resentment, bitterness, anger. You take whatever work people throw at you, but you don’t want it. How much longer are you going to be stereotyped as the drunken idiot? Damnit Ryan you’re worth so much more than what you’ve done to yourself!" Colin crossed his arms and willed the color to disappear from his cheeks. He didn’t like to allow himself to lose his composure.
Ryan had reached near purple stage by the time Colin had finished. "Are you fucking kidding me, Colin?" "Is this what you’ve come here to do? You come here to point out all my faults? Try to tell me how I feel? Let me tell you something, Mochrie, you self –righteous prick, you stand there and tear me a new one when you’re the one who’s been deluding himself all along. How much more are you going to push yourself? You’re going to wind up dead before 50, if you don’t stop the relentless pursuit of more work. The world is not going to end if you chose to say no to one of your precious projects for once. Look at you! Look at your body. It’s so tired and worn. And yet you keep pushing and pushing and doing and doing and still have the nerve to stand in my face and tell me I’ve given up. I think you are deluding yourself in the fact that you won't give up and can only justify it by coming here to attack me, you sorry bas..."
Before Ryan finished the last syllable, Colin leapt on him, grabbed his shirt and shoved him up against the wall. Ryan had never seen the look in Colin’s eyes and it instantly unnerved him. Ryan was amazed at the strength his friend still possessed and how obviously weak he had now become. The wall had knocked the breath out of him as well as the look of daggers he was receiving and he gasped.
"Don’t you EVER..."Colin said bringing his face just inches from Ryan’s. His words were dangerously low.
"Colin…" Ryan squeaked.
"Now you listen to me Ryan Lee Stiles, you are a worthless bag of bones sitting here rotting away in this shit-hole bar. You will continue to sit here and rot for the rest of your days. I did not end our friendship, you did, and you have certainly accomplished that today. I came here to save you, to reach you, to need you and to want you as my best friend, because this is just foolishness that we’ve put ourselves through. Who’s to say we can’t get back what we once had? I had that hope. I had that wish for years. Now it’s finally gone. I don’t want this anymore. I don’t need you anymore." Colin released his hold on Ryan letting his hands slip down his bunched up shirt, letting go.
Ryan swallowed hard. This was it. This was it. The last thread. It lay snapped in front of him, in the tired, resolved look of his former best friend. He had always held onto that thread, knowing that in the back of his mind as long as he at least had that, he had something to hope for. Something to live for. His heart immediately gave a sickening flip- flop in his chest as he studied Colin’s eyes. Whatever he read in those depths confirmed it. It was over.
Colin eased himself off of Ryan and tugged at the bottom of his shirt, straightening it. His sorrowful expression contained a thousand words ready to be said, ready to be read, but all he did was shed a tear and turned and walked away.
On my knees, I’ll ask,
Last chance, for one last dance,
Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all, it’d be for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
Cause you know, you know, you know,
God Damn it! Colin slammed his fist against the mirror in his hotel room. He noted silently, as the blood trickled down the side of his hand down his wrist that it fucking hurt. He disregarded the notion as he cleared the dresser top of its contents with a resounding crash, knocking everything to the floor.
"FUCK YOU, RYAN" he screamed at the top of his lungs. He panted and his breaths came in shallow gasps. He felt his heart clinch inside of his chest as he realized what he had done. He slammed his palm against the glass again leaving a bloody print. He stared at his reflection through the shattered bloodied glass. The tired, old face of someone who had tried and failed one too many times stared back at him, haunted.
‘I threw it away.’ He thought dejectedly. "Why do you have to be so god-damned stubborn!" he shouted at the wall, sobbing as he did so. He allowed the tears to flow freely now, there was no one to witness them.
Trying to calm himself Colin went into the bathroom to tend to his wound. He hadn’t yet allowed himself to feel the pain of the cut, but he saw the blood getting everywhere, over everything.
In the bathroom he searched the medicine cabinet, tossing around his medications, the insignificant things like hotel soap and shampoo, a razor blade. He gave pause. ‘Wouldn’t it be so easy?’ he thought. He had said good-bye to his best friend, how much easier would it be to say good bye to him?
"I’m NOT going to let you do this to me!" He shouted again at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, but directed his refusal toward whom he was venting his frustration on. "FUCK" he cried as he pounded his other fist into the glass wanting to eradicate the image before him.
Suddenly he felt a wave of nausea overtake him and he slumped down on the toilet. He buried his face in his hands and tried to get the sensations to pass. It felt as if something was ripping at his soul, something being extracted, not slowly, but forcibly and he felt absolutely helpless to stop it.
Through his tears he saw the pained, strained look of his best friend of over 25 years standing in front of him, clenching and unclenching his fists, undecided on what to do with the broken man before him.
Ryan had paced outside the door of Colin’s hotel room determined yet uncertain of how he was handling his present mood. He had spent the last few hours driving around town, he knew a dangerous thing to do aware of the amount of alcohol he had recently slaked, but not caring whether or not he lived or died. He wasn’t so drunk as to realize that his only friend, no matter how they had treated each other in his mind, had just called it quits. Colin should never have done that.
Ryan needed him like bread and water to a starving man. Like the very breath in his body. He knew he would stop breathing if he didn’t see Colin anymore. It was at that moment he felt an intense, sharp stabbing pain in his heart, a tearing in his soul, which caused him to steady himself against the door jamb.
Ryan bit back a cry as he heard something smash inside the room. Instantly he tried the door knob but it was locked. He pounded on the door. "Colin, open up. Let me in!"
Hearing nothing and beginning to panic, Ryan did the only thing he could. He braced himself and kicked the door in. He was shocked at the sight he was greeted with. The television, the phone, the lamps that were on the bureau was now in pieces on the floor. The bed was unmade and most of the sheets were hanging off the side of the bed, suitcases half packed, clothes scattered everywhere. And then he saw it, the unmistakable trail and pooling of blood. His heart stopped. So much blood covering the floor and looking up he saw what had caused it in the form of a shattered bedroom mirror. A bloody palm print that almost looked as if it was waving, greeted him into the hell of a man in torment.
Ryan stood over Colin as he watched the older man rub his bloodied hands over his face. It looked as if he was about ready to pass out. Ryan couldn't move from his spot. He had never seen Colin this way before and he was totally caught off guard as to what he should do. Colin looked up at that moment and blinked. They were two strangers who had known each other forever. So close to one another physically, but separated by a long and lonely distance in every other way.
"Leave me, Ryan." Colin said through a choked sob.
Ryan stayed still, his mouth set in a grim line, his hands still clenched into fists. He reached out a hand and hesitated, wanting to put it on Colin’s head, but could not.
"Get the fuck away from me!" Colin said again his voice rising.
It was extremely uncharacteristic for him to be this distraught. He had seen him come close only a few other times, but never to this extent. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle him then, he was damn sure he did not know how to handle him now. He left the room and went to the bed. He took off one of the sheets from the bed and started ripping them into long strips. He took the strips back to the bathroom and knelt down before Colin.
With very gentle hands, the love and tenderness that he used to express, welled up instantly as if it never left, flooding his senses. Ryan gingerly picked up one of Colin’s bloodied hands and assessed the damage. Colin had his head leaned back against the cool tile of the bathroom wall. His eyes were closed. His face was bloodied and tear stained, but he was breathing more evenly now. Blood still flowed freely from the large gash down the left side of Colin’s hand and Ryan sucked in a breath. Colin gave a half-attempt at jerking his hand away but Ryan held on and gave a stern murmur. "Stay still." He hissed.
Giving up momentarily, Colin sighed and allowed Ryan to take one of the strips of cloth and start to wrap his injured hand, stopping the blood flow. He took pleasure in the cool feel of Ryan’s skin and tapered fingers and he relaxed into his ministrations. Ryan made soft, sighing noises in the back of his throat as he continued to work. ‘Colin did this because of me.’ He thought dejectedly.
He moved on to the other hand and started wrapping it. It looked a little less worse-for-wear and only a tiny cut was visible, but it still bled like the larger one. Making sure there were no mirror shards stuck in the wound, Ryan wrapped it tight applying pressure to it. Colin winced from above and let out a small whimper. Ryan looked up and studied his friend’s pale drawn face marked with drying blood and tears. Again he reached up, wanting to touch his friend, but still he held back. The hurt inside of him still overwhelmed him more than the physical grief of the man in front of him. He knew Colin would only refuse him now if he chose to comfort him in some way. He fucking hated feeling this helpless and out of control of the situation.
After a moment longer, Ryan rose and found a wash cloth on the bathroom towel rack. He went to the sink and wet it, carefully avoiding the jagged pieces of mirror that had fallen into the sink. He brought the dampened cloth back to Colin and touched his face with it. Colin perked up at the touch. He must have drifted off to sleep for a moment and Ryan wondered if he might have lost consciousness due to lack of blood. Hesitantly, Ryan began to clean Colin’s face of the blood that was smeared all over it. He was beginning to look less like Hannibal Lecter and more like the man he wanted to know all over again.
Bitter remorse was filling his heart as he continued to wipe away at Colin’s face. He gingerly wiped around his cheeks, his chin, his forehead, trying to wake him up as gently as possible. Colin opened his eyes and looked at Ryan and was taken aback at the utter seriousness in determination to clean and take care of him. The wet cloth had stimulated him and he shifted slightly. Ryan stopped and broke his concentration and looked back into Colin’s eyes. A lost smile danced behind his eyes desperate to come out. Colin willed it away.
Colin reached up carefully and removed Ryan’s hand from his face. His hand lingered for a millisecond longer before releasing it and stood, swaying slightly.
"Easy Col, not so fast." Ryan said as he stepped out of the way, putting a steadying hand on his shoulder.
Colin shrugged Ryan’s hand off of his shoulder and pushed past him unsteadily out of the bathroom. Ryan’s hand still hung mid-air as he looked at Colin in disbelief. He followed Colin over to the bed where he watched as Colin started to put the discarded clothes into his luggage. Ryan stood close to him waiting for Colin to speak, wondering why he was still getting the cold shoulder treatment.
Colin tried his best to focus on the task of grabbing his things and getting out of there. If he got to the airport he could be gone in an hour. Back home. Back to life on the road. Put this business behind him. He just had the obstacle of making it out of the door. He glanced every so often at Ryan who continued to stand there, gaping at him. What did he expect? A parade in his honor because he actually did something for a change? ‘It’s going to take a lot more than that, Stiles.’
"Talk to me." A pleading voice said.
"What is there to say?" A hollow voice responded.
"I’m an idiot, you know that right?" a desperate voice intoned.
"That…has never been disputed."
"Are you leaving then?"
"I think the answer to that is quite obvious." Colin put his bag by the door. He surveyed the damage done to the room shrugged and pulled out his wallet. It was worth the maintenance fee to have accomplished what he did.
"How can you be such a cold bastard?" Ryan yelled rushing over and yanking Colin by the arm pulling him close.
"Ryan, we are through! What part of that don’t you understand?" Colin’s face reddened again, almost near hysterical with emotion. "I thought it was clear to you in the bar. I can’t turn back now after I’ve gone this far. I can’t keep playing this game with you. I can’t keep allowing myself this pain every time I think of where you might be, what you are doing, who you are with. If you haven’t killed yourself yet with the abuse you give to your body and health, you do it by ostracizing your closest friend. Why haven’t you in the four years apart ONCE come to me like this, searched me out, and fought for me?! It makes everything that I am a joke to give into you one more time, just because I love you…" Colin stopped short.
Ryan dropped his hand from Colin’s arm where it had been left forgotten during the outburst. He searched Colin’s face, but Colin turned away and stared at the carpet. ‘This will NOT happen.’ He sternly warned himself.
"You could have told me." He said quietly, almost inaudible.
"I DID tell you, Ryan. You could have listened."
"Come back to me. I can’t do this alone. I can’t be alone. I never felt that way even though we were so far apart, I had a part of you with me always. It was my stupid fault for never coming to you, never keeping our friendship alive because of the hurt and pain and anger that had taken control over me. You left me Colin. You know you should never have done that."
"I left you Ryan because we were in a rut. We needed a break. It would have been this but only more traumatic if I was with you every waking moment. Every one needs time apart. But when I came looking for you, you should never have turned me away."
"I don’t believe that shit, Colin, not for a minute." Ryan said coming closer to him and lifting his chin with his finger. He looked Colin in the eye forcing the man to look back into his own. "If you never left, we would have been happy. There is something that bonds us together, you know it. And when we’re apart, you feel it. And when it is broken, it will kill us. It is killing us now." Ryan looked at Colin with all of the feeling he had left all the love that he denied himself over the years hitting him full force, almost knocking him off of his feet.
"Give me one last chance Colin, please. I am sorry. I’ll give anything; I won’t give up on us anymore."
"I…can’t, Ryan." Colin said as he turned away from the last touch he ever thought he’d feel from his lost friend. He opened the door and stepped out into the night.
So far away so far away, far away for far too long.
So far away, far away for far too long.
"So I take it things didn’t go the way you expected."
"Actually, things went exactly the way I knew that they would."
"Can I say that I’m sorry?"
"It’s not your fault, you only wanted to help."
"Yeah, but…"
"Look, Brad, it’s ok. I just want to get back out there and make people laugh. It’s what I’m good at. It’s what will help me, (help us) move forward."
"Ok, Colin, if that’s how you feel." Brad ushered his friend onstage to the sounds of pounding music and cheering fans. All thoughts of the previous week’s fiasco temporarily disappeared from Colin’s mind as he plastered on a smile and performed his heart out.
Two months and twenty tour dates later, Colin and Brad were both relaxing in their respective hotel rooms enjoying all of the hotel’s amenities. Each was on his phone to his wife. Brad’s new bride still mildly upset at her husband’s dedication to his career, Colin’s wife swept away by her husband’s determination to rebuild their stale relationship. He had called her everyday while on the road. Before performances the cell phone would be glued to his ear. Most times he would plead for her to join him, at any of the tour locations, a little surprise get away. A rendezvous. She turned him down most times still because of the distance from Canada, and her own schedules to keep. When he was in Canada, she’d be there cheering him on and for once he felt happy again to have her beside him.
On this particular night a storm had decided to make it’s presence known to the small town of "Whereverthefuck" nowhere, where they decided to perform at for a charity event. Colin was tired and he rubbed the back of his tense neck and breathed deeply into the phone. Deb picked up on her husband’s mood, and told him that he should try and sleep. Colin sighed and agreed wishing his wife a good night. He hung up the phone and sort of half-snorted/half giggled at the noises coming from the adjoining room. Brad was far from being a horny teenager, but the sound of one-sided moaning and groaning could only mean one thing. Colin sighed and shook his head. He tried to think however far back it was that he had, if ever, attempted phone sex with his wife. Chalk another one up to the brashness of the man. He rolled over on his side and stuffed the pillow to his ear and fell into another night of uncomfortable dreams.
I love you.
I loved you all along.
I miss you, far away for far too long.
I keep dreaming, you’ll be with me and you never go.
Stop breathing, if I don’t see you anymore.
Colin sat bolt upright in bed. It was pitch black in the room. He heard something, something that caused him to shoot up like a bottle rocket, his heart thudding, pounding hard in his ear. He realized with a start, that he was trembling as well. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked slowly. What was the matter with him?
He stood up and fumbled his way around the large room and made his way to the grey light source peeking around the edges of the heavy drapery at the far end of the room. After a few choice words, while stubbing his toes a time or two, he pulled back the drapes and opened the sliding glass door that led out to his small balcony. The rain outside was still coming down hard, and he realized that the grey light source turned out to be flashes of lightening, brightening up the sky for seconds and disappearing.
Colin was slightly protected by the above awning, but some of the rain spattered onto his heated skin, cooling and soaking him. He didn’t care. He knew he had heard something on the wind. He listened intently. He more felt it than heard it the next time it whispered. "What?" he cried out, stepping out into the rain, the rain pounding down on him now, completely drenching his skin. He couldn’t see through the storm, but looked out into the distance, over the twinkling city lights, and the sporadic flashes of lightening.
"COLIN!" the voice cried out again. He heard it so very clearly this time, and the shockwave hit him so squarely in the heart, that he staggered back and grasped the railing for support.
"I’M COMING!" He cried back to the voice. "WAIT FOR ME!" There was such desperation in Colin’s voice it brought tears mixed with the rain.
He scrambled back into his room and frantically searched for the light switch. Finding it and wincing at the harshness of light, willing his eyes to adjust quickly, Colin began to gather his things together, not really caring how they were haphazardly being thrown into his suitcases. He had to get to the voice. It was the only voice he was sure of, the only voice that he knew, and he knew that voice needed him, right now, no questions asked. And Colin knew that no matter what the odds, he would follow that voice until the end of time.
Colin scribbled a quick note to Brad, sliding it under the man’s door, asking him to please forgive him for throwing them off of their schedule. Nothing more needed to be said, because he knew Brad and Brad knew Colin and that was all. Colin grabbed his bags and his keys and rushed out into the pouring rain of pre-dawn. He didn’t know where he was going or how he was going to get there, but someone was leading him and guiding him and he wasn’t going to refuse him anymore.
Brad woke up the next morning, blinking at the bright sunshine that was relentlessly boring down on him in his bed. He was draped only in a sheet, his hand still holding onto his limp penis, but at the remembered sounds of his wife breathing in his ear combined with what he had did last night, it magically sprung back to life. ‘Not bad for an old guy’, he thought and smiled toothily to himself. He indulged himself in a few well placed strokes and laughed before shaking his head and rolling out of the bed. He at least wanted to close the drapes before going any further.
"Hmmm, musta rained last night." He thought out loud. He saw the drops of water falling from the awning above his balcony and the puddles on the concrete. "I can sleep through a hurricane." He said puffing out his big barrel chest. He strutted around the room and went over to the TV and flicked it on, thinking about ordering room service, and checking on Colin.
One of those entertainment news shows came blaring on with its usual sensational chipperness. "Much too early for this shit," Brad muttered to himself as he plopped back down on the bed. The reporter was wrapping up the latest in the Britney Spears head shaving fiasco, and was going into what she termed late breaking news. Brad paid vague attention to it as he looked over the channel guide that was in most hotel rooms, wanting to find a good movie.
"And our top story that just broke last night around 1 am. Television sit-com star, co-producer and star of the popular Improv show Whose Line is it Anyway, Ryan Stiles, was found seriously injured near his home in Bellingham, WA."
Brad immediately jumped up from the bed and shot over to the television set. He stared at it gaping in disbelief. There was an ambulance and police cars all lights and sound in the pitch black darkness of the early morning hours. "GET OUT OF THE WAY" he shouted at the TV as people and reporters were milling around the scene. He had to see if Ryan was ok.
"Stiles, 47, was found outside by his wife Patricia, on the deck leading out to the lake surrounding their property. He was laying face up with what is confirmed to be a sharp knife or razor blade, in his right hand. Both of Stiles’ wrists were sliced due to apparent self infliction. Reports indicate that Mrs. Stiles found her husband unconscious early this morning and immediately phoned for an ambulance. We are now uncertain to whether she was able to reach her husband in time. Stiles was admitted into St. Joseph’s Hospital around 1:15 this morning and we will bring you more details as the case unfolds."
The shows blasting promos for what was coming up next, blared into Brad’s shell-shocked face. Brad shook himself after a commercial for male enhancement, replete with prostitutes and hookers dancing around middle-aged balding men, annoyed its way onto the screen. He ran to the other side of the room where he remembered throwing his boxers, almost not caring to yank them on as he threw open his front door and dashed next door. He banged loudly on Colin’s door, almost frantically. Tears were streaming down his face. He needed Colin badly. He didn’t know how he was going to explain what had happened.
"COLIN!! OPEN UP!!! COLIN!!!" Brad cried out. No sound came from inside. Brad heaved a loud sob and rested his head against the door in mid pound. "PLEASE WAKE UP" he cried.
He went back to his room to try Colin on his phone. Maybe he was in the bathroom. He went back to his room and felt something under his bare feet as he walked back through his door. It was small and white and looked like a folded piece of paper. He opened and read the near frantic scribblings of his best friend. All of the sudden it dawned on him. He knew where Colin had gone, and he knew that Colin didn’t need a news report to inform him. Brad held the paper to his chest and let out another sob. Quietly he closed his door.
Colin burst through the door of Drew’s LA office with no pretense. He frantically pushed his way past the personal assistant and threw open Drew’s office door. Colin knew that Drew was probably the next best person to ever contact when he wanted to know where Ryan was. He knew he should have tried Ryan’s home first, but something tickling in the back of his mind told him that he might not be there. He had left Ryan in LA and it didn’t look like the man had any plans on going home anytime soon.
"Where is he?" He had to force the rising panic out of his voice. He had long since mastered his ability to remain calm. But desperate times called for desperate measures.
Drew didn’t even look up from his desk. He was in the process of signing some documents that pertained to what he knew Colin was referring to in his unceremonious introduction. He looked up at his long time friend with sad, weary eyes.
"Colin, you’re going to have to calm down." Drew started, rising and coming around his desk.
"Calm down?? CALM DOWN!!" Colin started breathing heavily, his voice rising to a frantic pitch. He rushed over to Drew and grabbed him by the upper arms. "What’s happening? What happened to Ryan? Tell me!!"
Drew looked at him in confusion. "You mean you don’t know? No, of course you don’t, why else would you be here?" Drew still pondered the fact that Colin knew something was wrong with Ryan, but didn’t know what was wrong or where he was. He never questioned it anymore.
"I was just on my way out there." He said gently removing himself from Colin’s grasp. "I have a flight that is leaving in about an hour and I need to get to the airport."
"TELL ME WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO HIM, DREW!!!" Colin said all hopes of remaining calm scattered to the wind.
"He’s dying Colin." Drew said with a catch in his voice. He looked helplessly at Colin. He fought a losing battle with the tears that were welling up.
Colin let go of Drew and sat down hard in the chair that was behind him. His glassed over eyes studied the carpet, not really seeing it, but boring a hole through it nonetheless.
Drew came to his side and put a shaky hand on his shoulder. "I was just signing the paperwork as executor of his last will and testament. He wanted me to do the honors. I was signing the power of attorney documents. Oh Colin, this is just…"
"Yes, he’d want you to do it." Colin said not really listening; catching only bits and pieces, his mind was still trying to process the reality of the situation.
"Colin," Drew said squatting before his shocked friend. "He tried to kill himself. Life, I guess, got too hard for him." Drew said with meaning, trying to bring it home to Colin.
Colin turned his watery gaze to his friend. "Are you implying?"
"He loves you."
"He had a great way of showing it." Colin said without feeling.
"You know that’s not true."
"It’s my fault."
"It’s NOT your fault. You tried. You tried for years. You watched him rise and you watched him fall. Everyone has their limits and you both found yours. You were just stronger."
"I don’t feel very strong now."
Drew pulled the trembling man into his arms and held him while he cried. He listened as Colin tried to reason with himself and ask over and over why? He took one of Colin’s hands in his own, noticing the long scar that had formed down the side of it. A constant reminder.
"Take me to him, Drew."
The plane ride to Washington State was too long and too tedious, much more than the impatience he felt while driving to LA. He needed to get to where Ryan was. If some way he could reach his friend before he slipped away, let him know that he was sorry. At least tell him goodbye. Colin rapidly pushed that thought aside. There was no way this was going to be goodbye.
He rested his head on Drew’s shoulder. He was exhausted from the shock and from not much sleep and a long drive. Drew brought his hand to Colin’s snowy white head and patted it softly, soothingly encouraging him to sleep. Colin looked like a little boy when he slept, all innocence and pout. Drew sighed and settled back.
The two comedians rounded the corner of St. Joseph’s and approached the medical receptionist’s desk. She looked up and immediately recognized the two. He face brightened and then fell almost in the same moment. She knew why the two were there and she shared a look of sympathy with them. No words needed to be said she just pointed to the room across the hall. Colin smiled a small smile and mouthed the words "thank you".
A sense of dread overtook Colin as he placed his hand on the knob. He was so very scared to find out what waited for him on the other side of the door. He rested his head against it for a moment, silently wishing for this to all be just a bad dream. That he would open his eyes and they would all be on the set of Whose Line, playing one of their favorite games, Narrate, Helping Hands, Whose Line, Improbable Mission, anything that would put the two of them together, bonding them close. Life was so unfair, wasn’t it?
Ryan stood in the corner of the room masked in shadows. A long form lay flat on the oversized hospital bed, tubes and wires sticking and poking him from what seemed like every inch of his body. He somehow felt that the body lying there was his own. He didn’t feel alarmed about that. He didn’t feel a thing. He couldn’t open his eyes, but he could see everything around him. He saw his wife sitting in a chair beside his bed. He saw Greg perched at the windowsill, worrying his glasses at his face. He saw a nurse checking the chart by his bedside. 'Wait a minute,' he thought. This didn’t seem right to him. Why was he looking at all of this from the outside? He lifted his hand and studied it. He noticed the white gauze that was wrapped around his wrist appeared to be glowing fuzzily in the room’s dim light.
He approached the form on the bed and looked at it. He touched the skin but felt nothing. He wondered why he felt so indifferent. He looked around again and then it struck him, where was he? Where was Colin? Of all of the faces in the room, his was the one Ryan sought and the only one that was causing him the overwhelming sense of grief he felt pressed upon him now. He heard his voice last night in his dreams. He said he would come. He would wait for him. He would wait.
Ryan jumped as the door opened to the room. It was done so ethereally the other occupants at first failed to notice the new form as it came hesitantly toward the bed. A warm glow of relief spread from the top of Ryan’s head down to his feet at the sight of his shy little best friend tip-toeing quietly over to him. He looked over at him and felt the warm glow seep into his heart as his friend’s tired eyes seemed to brighten, a sad smile playing on his lips as he reached out to touch the side of Ryan’s face. Ryan frowned at the fact that he couldn’t feel that either.
Colin did not see anyone else in the room when he opened the door and entered. His first and only view was the now peaceful form on the bed in front of him. He gave a slight shake of the head and bit his lower lip at the sight of all the wires and tubes coming out of Ryan. The wires and tubes that were keeping him alive. A tear slipped slowly down his cheek as he gingerly touched Ryan’s fingers. He winced to see the bandage wrapped around his wrist and then jumped at the feeling of someone’s hand on his shoulder. He turned around but no one was there.
It was then he did notice Pat and Greg in the room. The nurse had said only two visitors at a time, but she made a special exception in this case. Greg came over to Colin and embraced him tightly. He betrayed his hard exterior and let out a shuddering cry into Colin’s neck and Colin held him close. Drew had come into the room and was standing by the door watching the sad scene. Pat was crying softly in her chair. Colin crossed over to her and lifted her out of her seat and held her close. "I’m sorry." He whispered.
"He loved you." She said resolved.
"I…I’m having a hard time with that one Pat." Colin said through tears.
"Love doesn’t require two people to look at each other, but that they look together in the same direction." She said patting his face. She smiled then and went over to her husband and touched his face the same way. She left the room, silently saying her goodbye.
Greg and Drew were on opposite sides of the bed staring down at Ryan’s body each taking turns in gingerly touching his skin and smoothing his hair. They were also looking for any signs that he was breathing on his own and any other movement. Sighing after a moment, they looked at each other and then back at Colin who was still standing in the same spot, numb.
I wanted,
I wanted you to stay.
I needed,
I need to hear you say.
Ryan was looking into Colin’s eyes. So many things he was trying to tell him if he would only listen. He was so overcome with grief and guilt; he just needed to be forgiven. He was transmuting every good and noble feeling he had left in him into the weary body of the very best friend and soul mate a person could ever be fortunate to have. He was so distraught to know that he was a fool to have given this up, for arrogance and pride. Was it too late?
Drew broke Colin out of his reverie, by clearing his throat. He and Greg came to stand beside him and put their arms around him to steer him back toward Ryan, lying on the bed. They both seemed to sense that what Colin needed was time alone with Ryan. Greg brought forward a chair for Colin to sit in and he and Drew left the room each leaving Colin with a sympathetic look.
When he was alone, Colin sat in the chair and looked at Ryan. At first he was at a loss for words. He tried several times to start a dialogue but failed. He ran a hand over his head and then across his face. Ryan looked almost angelic lying there, years had fallen off of him and even his graying hair, muted by the shadows in the room, enhanced his younger features. ‘You are so beautiful.’ Colin thought, but pushed it aside for the anger that began to well inside of him.
"Damn it Ryan! Why did you do this? Why couldn’t you fight just a little harder? Why did you give up? You NEVER give up! Why are you lying here? You should be out making the most of your life instead of doing this foolish shit." Colin had to stop himself from grabbing Ryan up by the hospital gown. He picked up one of Ryan’s arms and finally allowed himself to look at the self-inflicted damage. The area around the bandage was purple from bruising. Colin fingered the bandage and ran his hand over the surrounding area. He allowed himself to trace his fingers down over Ryan’s smooth hand and feel his fingertips. The body on the bed remained motionless.
Ryan in the meantime hovered over his lifeless form. He watched the chest rise and fall with the help of the machine and looked every so often at Colin and tried to feel the touches and hear the words being said. It was as if he was in a tunnel. He wanted to stay there with Colin but something more appealing seemed to be calling him just outside the room. He saw Colin’s tears and it kept him grounded for the moment. He couldn’t leave just yet, he wanted to make sure he said good bye. He wished Colin would smile. He was feeling happier than he ever felt in many years. He walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down on the edge in front of Colin. He smiled and touched the fringe of his hair, allowing himself to remember the feel of its silkiness. He smoothed away the wrinkles around his eyes and wiped away his tears.
"I always thought we’d be two old men sitting in rocking chairs at the retirement home, reminiscing about the ‘good old days’". Colin said aloud.
Ryan brushed his hand down Colin’s arm and sought his hand. He remembered the feel of his hand from so many years of holding onto it before. He gathered strength in those nimble fingers.
"Ryan, why?" Colin suddenly burst out. He couldn’t hold back anymore. "Tell me, show me, in some way that you are still here!! Don’t leave me alone! I promise I’ll never leave you alone again, just don’t leave me now!" Colin collapsed on the side of the bed. Heartbreaking sobs wracked his body. He cried so hard for his lost friend. If there was only some way to bring him back to him. He lifted his tear stained face and pulled Ryan’s close to his own, so close that he shared his breath with Ryan’s. He spoke softly.
"I love you, I loved you all along and
I forgive you, for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, cause I’m not leaving you anymore, believe it.
Hold on to me never let me go."
Ryan’s eyes fluttered open and blinked even in the dimming light it felt harsh. His whole body ached. He felt stiff. He turned his head slightly and looked into the disbelieving chocolate brown eyes of his life partner. Colin could not speak. His mouth just hung open, gasping. His hands forever working, worked even harder, twisting and picking and doing everything that they could to hold back and not tackle the man who looked back at him with his infamous "gotcha" grin.
Ryan weakly pulled back the sheet and patted the space beside him. Colin questioned him with his eyes and Ryan nodded once. Colin crawled in and shared his warmth with Ryan. Ryan sighed and closed his eyes. Colin’s working fingers finally found their purpose and repeatedly fingered Ryan’s hair, reacquainting him with its texture. He sighed and snuggled further down, knowing that the nurse or someone would be coming in soon enough to run tests and take Ryan away from him. But for right now, he was home. This was where he belonged forever. Everything else would take care of itself. He traced a finger down Ryan’s smooth nose, and across his cheek.
"Where were you?"
"I was coming."
"Thank you for waiting."
"Stay a while?"
"For you, forever."
The End:)
Message In A Bottle
Pairing: Colin and "Mysterious Stranger"
Rating: R
Summary: Colin meets his "mystery date". It's not my smuttiest, but It'll do in a pinch. I just wanna give a lil brainwash for my buddie Cae:) *cough no Mary-Sue cough* All comments are greatly apprecimated!
Disclaimer: Don't own Don't care!
Meet me there at midnight. The letter shook in my trembling hand. It had been a while. Over five years to be exact, but I still know what the cryptic words meant.
The tremble moved from my hands to the butterflies inside my stomach. I grabbed my coat and went out into the cool evening breeze. It whisped across my heated skin and tickled the few remaining traces of hair at the top of my head.
I picked up my pace as I neared the spot. I was anxious, excited and incredibly hot. I chuckled at the thought. The sound of my voice echoing in the silence. How quiet it was here.
I heard the footsteps approaching and I had to dicipline myself not to respond. I kept my eyes straight ahead but the quirky little smirk refused to leave my face. My dimple deepend in my cheek. I shoved my hand further into my pockets and pressed on.
As I rounded the corner of a building where a pale streetlight cast an eerie yellow glow on the pavement, two strong hands grabbed me roughly and spun me around pressing my face against the brick. An unmistakeable voice so close so close to my ear whispers to me harshly, matter-of-factly, "This is what you want."
"Yes," I want to say, but before I made a sound the hard body pushes up against me, pressing my forehead further into the cool, rough surface.
"Don't speak."the voice rumbles from above and a mouth decends on my neck, tasting, licking, sucking and teasing me.
"Yes..." I moan desperately, disobeying my command. The hands slide along my shoulders and yank down my jacket, just enough so that it pins my arms behind me. I gasp. The hands continue the journey, the breath hot at my neck, the breathing increasing to match my own.
The hands grab my hips and pull me back hard against him. He groans in my ear as I hear my own moan of pleasure to match. I try to wiggle my arms free.
"I said don't..fucking..move" He warned emphasizing each word with a well placed thrust. I only nodded and let out a frustrated sigh. I needed to touch. I needed to feel, but I needed this more.
"Give me what I came for." The voice said from above. I felt his nose press into the back of my neck, his ragged breathing as he moved his hands round to my button pausing only to feel me up roughly. I almost ruined the moment by crying out at his touch, ready to end before we began.
It felt so good. He was an expert, after all. But it had been far too long.
"Take it." I told him pleadingly. Teeth decended on my shoulder and I bit back another cry.
The hand on my crotch moved up and jerked open the button on my jeans. I was gasping hard feeling the differences from the sharp ache in my shoulder and the throbbing ache in my pants.
"This is what I want." The voice said grabbing hold of my hard, hot cock. I leaned my head back on the shoulder that was supporting me, my eyes rolling back, neck exposed.
The hand continued to fondle me, my breath coming in gasps as he expertly brought me closer to the edge.
"Fuck me!" I cried out, bringing a knowing chuckle to my ear. I felt his hardness pressed deep into me. He kept pushing harder into me moaning my name.
At the sound of my name on his lips, I came hard into his hand all over the brick wall in front of me. I was so high as I rode the dizzying spiral down and I felt the pressure ease up from my back. The hands traveled up my back once more putting my jacket back on. A kiss on my ear and he was gone.
I turned around and rested my head against the wall, the small smile in place. It had been five years, but it still felt like yesterday. It may be another but I'd do it all again. This chance meeting with a "stranger."
He knows his nose!
Author: The Empress
Rating: Eh--a lil PG 13-ish
Parings: Ry/Col
Summary: Revenge is sweet for the 'beaked one'.
Disclaimer: I just have an idea...and I run with it. Bows at the feet of those with more talent!
Ryan paced the room almost wearing a hole in the carpet. He stopped in mid pace and scratched his nose. He was worried and anxious and needed reassurance soon.
His friend of 15 years sat perched on the ratty green room couch. He held an old magazine in his hands and was nonchalantly flipping through it. He kept an eye on the man in front of him, unconsciously calculating the number of times he made his circuit and how many times he outwardly sighed. He pushed his trade-mark glasses up on his own nose and closed his magazine. He regarded Ryan with a raised eyebrow.
Ryan in the meantime had made his way over to the window overlooking the spacious parking lot. He rested his nose against the glass and sighed again. "He's gonna kill me."
Greg crossed his legs and grinned sardonically at his friend. "Listen man, you know how he is. He's not going to kill you. He might not make it easy on you for a while, but you know he doesn't take it personal."
Ryan turned and crossed his arms. "Did you listen to yourself? You know who we're talking about here. He strikes when you least expect it. And don't tell me he doesn't take it personal, he hasn't given me any since it happened!"
Greg got up and crossed the room. "Oh man, he really is playing it for all it's worth." He put an encouraging hand on Ryan's shoulder. "When's the last time you two talked?"
Ryan didn't get a chance to answer. At that moment the green room door opened and Colin walked in, taking in the scene. To the average person you could not tell that he was fazed, but to Ryan, it looked as if he had just been busted for saying something bad about his mother. There was a slight falter in Colin's step, a coldness replaced the placid look he previously wore. "If you two are finished, we are waiting for you on the set."
Greg turned and regarded his other best friend. Colin looked a little frustrated, but otherwise not as bad off as the slightly trembling figure to his left. He noticed a little mischievous glimmer in Colin's eye and he glanced sideways at him. He wasn't quite sure but he knew something fun was planned for the day.
Ryan was looking over Greg's head and was studying Colin with wary eyes. Colin looked back at him blankly. He pivoted and walked out of the room without another word. Greg turned back to Ryan and gave him a lopsided grin. "What did you do?" He asked, deadpanned.
The day's taping progressed without a hitch, and even though tension was mildly high between the pair, Colin put aside his feelings for professionalism. He bantered, he played, he let a laugh slip out a time or two. He was waiting. His moment was almost here and he wanted to make sure Ryan was totally unaware of what he had in store for him. He looked over at Ryan and smiled at him and patted his leg. Ryan grinned back and relaxed. He missed the little smirk that crossed his partner's lips as Drew announced the final game of the taping.
"And tonight's winners are Ryan and Colin. RyanandColin everybody. And they are going to be playing a little game with me called "Helping Hands." Colin's grin grew almost shark-like. He glanced down the way past Wayne and with the slightest wink at Greg, stood and approached the table. Ryan was already there surveying the torture devices for this session. There was a definate theme running through. He briefly glanced at Colin, before allowing him to slide his arms underneath his own. This time he did not miss the look of sheer satisfaction that played across his features, as he felt him snuggle into his back. "Payback is a bitch, my dear." he whispered low tickling the fine hair on Ryan's ear as Drew went into the usual speel of how the game is played.
"Greg what's our scene?" Greg laughed ruefully as he read the scene to expectant ears. "Ryan you are a cosmetic demonstrator, showing Drew a harried housewife, the very latest in beauty aids. That's your scene, gentlemen." Greg could barely contain his snort as he looked at Ryan's panicked face. Something must have spooked him good.
Colin started poking around on the table. He moved past the lipsticks, the tweezers. Drew glanced at Colin behind Ryan and saw as he indicated what he wanted. "Hey lady...I'm not here for all of this cosmetic stuff...I'm having problems with my nose." "Nose?" Ryan asked questioningly. "Yes, could you show me how to use those strips that remove blackheads?" "With pleasure sir," Ryan said through gritted teeth. There was the tinniest of chuckles behind him as Colin groped for the box that contained the strips and removed one from the package. He placed the strip firmly on Ryan's nose and pressed down hard, rubbing the strip onto his skin. Without hesitating and a 'Viola' from Ryan, Colin ripped the strip from his nose and probably half the skin Ryan thought as he winced and pressed on. Drew couldn't control his laughter as he said, "Oh that's wonderful ma'am, now show me how to use the special buffer you have there." It was magically in his "hands" before the words left Drew's mouth. Ryan pressed his hands into Colin's back and poked him in the side. He haphazardly explained its use as Colin proceeded to scrub his nose with the buffer furiously. 'I"m going to kill him.' he thought destructively as he struggled to move on to the next item.
Drew pretended to sneeze. OH...I need something to help with my alergies, I know its not cosmetic, but I see you have some antihistamine blocker there, could you show me how?" Drew said indicating the bottle beside him. "I swear if you..." Ryan said behind him, much to the delight of Colin who gleefully laughed into his collar as he grabbed up the bottle and unceremoniously shoved it into Ryan's nose. Ryan's gasp turned into a near moan as Colin pressed himself hard against Ryan's torso at the same time. They both reeled at the sensation and the implication, but pulled it together to finish the game.
Drew, oblivious to all but laughing like someone about to pee his pants, tourtured Ryan through various types of kleenex, nose tweezers, and some device that helped with snoring. Ryan endured it, knowing that his repayment would be coming that evening. Colin was breathing heavily down the back of his neck. The hardness hadn't decreased from below but only intensified. Ryan knew all of his discomfort was turning him on. He could be such a bastard sometimes.
Drew finally contained himself enough for the grand finale. "Oh...you have been so very helpful to me today ma'am", he said in a singsong voice. "There's just one more thing I'd like to test before I decide." Ryan rolled his eyes at Drew and hissed "Yes, ma'am and what would that be?" "I've been having a terrible time with wrinkles and if you would be so kind, would you mind displaying some of your fragrant cold creams." Another soft chuckle from Colin, as he scooped out some slippery, cold flower-smelling goop from an unlabeled container.
Colin brought the cream up to the tip of Ryan's nose and proceeded to move up it's length. Slowly he coated his bridge and brought some of the lotion around his nostrils. He worked some of the soothingly cool cream over the area where he had previously removed the blackhead strip. Ryan could not contain his mmm of pleasure. Colin stroked up and down the bridge of his nose, getting it all slippery, his other hand undetected by the cameras, was stroking another part of Ryan's body in the same fashion. Long, slow, smooth, deliberate strokes, and Ryan was of no more substance than the cream that was slicked over Colin's nimble fingers.
Ryan with desperation in his voice, pleaded for the end of the game by saying, "And that concludes our demonstration for today, please feel free to take all these samples and shove them up your...*BUZZZ* The buzzer sounded and before Drew could even announce the commercial break, Ryan yanked Colin's hands free and drug him off the stage.
"What the hell was all of that about?" Ryan said as he pushed Colin up against the door, rubbing his lotion slicked nose against his friend's balding scalp. Colin smiled sweetly up at him and tugged him into the dressing room. "A nose by any other name wouldn't smell as sweet."
Coming to Terms
Coming to Terms
Author: The Empress of I couldn't hold it in any longer...WHEW....
Pairing: Brad/Ryan
Rating: PG
Summary: realization/I enjoyed writing this lil bit of fluff...I only hope my recipient enjoyed reading it...tee hee ha ha and *hugs* to you my dear!!!
Disclaimer: meh you know the drill
Coming to Terms:
"Don’t tease me if you can’t please me, Brad." Ryan said shoving Brad against the wall of the bar where everyone had wound up at after the show. Brad looked back defiantly but slightly woozy, and laughed at Ryan’s slurred speech.
"I have a feeling that’s not going to be too much of a problem, Ryan." Brad said putting his hands on the sharp plains of Ryan’s chest shoving him back slightly. "Whoa buddy, lay off of the personal space territory."
Ryan laughed in Brad’s face and took another swig of the beer in his hand. "You know Brad, I missed you man. It’s been way too long."
"I know, Ryan. We only get to tour with you guys when we are in the same neighborhood. I miss the camaraderie. And I miss this…closeness. But only when you mean it, not when you’re shit face drunk."
"I am not drunk." Ryan said stumbling on an imaginary something and plastering Brad up against the same wall. The momentary body to body contact was overwhelming to Brad and he looked up quirking a shy smile in Ryan’s direction. His lips held a curious smile and he had to stay his hand from coming up to brush errant strands of Ryan’s curls away from his brow.
"You’re doing it again." Ryan said smiling back down at Brad.
"What?" Brad said softly not making an effort to remove himself from Ryan’s encompassing largeness that had him currently pinned to the wall. He was nothing to play around with himself if push came to shove.
"Teasing me."
Brad rolled his eyes at Ryan and took the beer from his hand and took a long drink. "Not like that’s not what you do on a daily basis Stiles." He said finally pushing himself past Ryan and going back to the bar. Ryan watched the slight stagger in Brad’s walk. He wasn’t much more stable, but he eased his way back over to sit next to the man.
"You gonna explain that one to me?" Ryan said looking at the younger man with the boyish charm and smile. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander to how he preferred Brad, the hyper, rabid, short-order, evangelistic vampire, bouncing about the stage, only to wind up with an arm wrapped around him to sing ‘all in one voice’. It was the only real time that Ryan could keep a hold on him. Except for times like now.
"I’m just saying you give as well as you get, if that makes any sense to you now." Brad said swirling his new drink. He was busy making condensation circles on the wood of the bar until the bartender shoved another cardboard coaster underneath, giving him a scowl. Brad and Ryan both laughed as the man hurried off to help another customer.
"Sherwood, lets not get into another battle of he said/she said here, and just say what you mean. You have a problem with my treatment of you?" Ryan said resting his shoulder against Brad. He could hardly concentrate. The alcohol was having a decided effect on him.
Brad turned and studied him seriously. Ryan had a goofy "I’m getting a good buzz" look on his face and Brad smiled in spite of his effort to have this conversation. It probably wouldn’t get him anywhere, anyway.
"Ryan I like you like this I really do." Brad said resting his hand on Ryan’s chest feeling his strong heart beat quicken a pace. "But I have a feeling I’m going to open my eyes and it will all be just another dream to be frustrated with tomorrow."
"We’ve already made the dream a reality, or don’t you remember?" Ryan said sobering up for the moment. He looked at Brad with piercing emerald eyes, letting Brad know that he hadn’t forgotten the last time they were ‘alone’ together.
The blush colored Brad’s cheeks and when he looked up he realized Ryan’s face was inches away from his own and all he would have to do is rise to the occasion. "And here I thought you didn’t dwell on sentimentality." Brad said his lips as close to Ryan’s as he would allow before completely crossing the line.
A knowing smile crossed Ryan’s features again as he took a step back from Brad and once again reached for his drink. This was becoming another cat and mouse game with them. It was a wonder that they even connected at all. But there was something that pulled Ryan to Brad each and every time. Something that stirred within him ever since he first met Brad near 15 years ago. The young, even goofier looking kid than he himself was. They were equally matched in many ways. Now years later, the spark may have dimmed some, but it didn’t take much to set it aflame once again.
Brad took Ryan’s hesitancy as another sign of jerking him along as he felt he so often had. He had even tried to remove the common denominator by making himself as important to Colin as Ryan had been for so very long. He wanted to at least see where the competition was. The reasons may have been selfish, but he had felt that he had won by almost successfully removing the temptation. But he still had his doubts. He needed to know. He couldn’t handle these blue moon visits, because he himself had to be away from Ryan for just as long.
"Forget it, Ryan. I guess what’s in the past can remain there. All I can do is hold on to those memories, and just deal with "this", this game, until the next time around. I just don’t want to cheapen what we did have with some drunken groping at a nondescript bar." Brad stood up to leave.
Ryan felt as if something had been ripped from his soul. Seeing Brad’s retreating back caused something to connect inside of him. Brad did love him. And you know what. He felt the same. He had fought for far too long. There were no more games. He’d been playing for too long and who knew how much longer they’d have left before another missed opportunity.
A strong arm yanked Brad Sherwood around as he had almost reached his destination of the door, trying to fish out the keys to his motorcycle from his leather jacket. Two large hands enveloped his head and pushed him forcefully back against a circular table in the middle of the room. Without further hesitation a pair of soft weathered lips crushed themselves against Brad’s own. He kissed him, while Brad groped at the back of the welcomed intruder. Completely shocked and caught off guard, Brad pulled himself away gasping for air.
"God, what was that?" He said looking back at Ryan, panting. His lips becoming pleasantly chafed from his thorough kissing.
"That is what I want. And that is what I will have." Ryan said pulling Brad close to him once again by the t-shirt he wore underneath the jacket. It was enough.
Brad attacked Ryan like he was the contestant on the millionaire show, wrapping his long arms around Ryan’s neck and greedily going for his throat. Ryan cried out as he felt Brad forcefully push him to the other side of the bar landing on a cushioned bench, breaking their falls. They kissed like they were hungry, starving men craving for the sustenance only the other could give. Ryan rubbed his knuckles across the top of Brad’s buzzed head and Brad actually purred. "Oh you are my type…OH you are definitely my type." Brad said passionately laughing at his reminiscence.
"Let’s get outta here." Ryan said between kisses. He so needed some real alone time with Mr. Sherwood and he felt that this time would be different. This time there would be no going away, no farewell, and no more frustrating dreams. This time was for real.
"One more drink?" Brad said kissing Ryan slowly and leading him back to the bar.
"Sure." Ryan said smiling.
Joe sat in the corner barely believing his eyes. He had rubbed at them furiously and still came up with the same conclusion. He did not just see Brad Sherwood and Ryan Stiles in the middle of a public lip lock. He had to note this not only for posterity but for winning several bets at work. He took his digital and approached the pair snuggling closely at the bar. Brad was tracing finger patterns into Ryan’s skin and Ryan was looking at him lost in sensation. Brad reached up to kiss him just as Ryan was to give him a little tease and this is the picture that was on Joe’s wallpaper the following day….
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Knowing Me, Knowing You
Title: Knowing Me, Knowing You
Author: The Empress
Paring: implied Ry/Col
Rating: PG
Summary: A goodbye story. Based on Ravenous Boa's suggestion. Its not a drabble so I made it it's own story.
Disclaimer: Good luck squeezing blood out of a rock. "Hey...there's some blood on my stool..."
In these old familiar rooms, children would play....
A pair of large hands cascaded softly over the back of a chair once sat in. He felt the material lovingly, as if trying to recapture memories of long ago, through his fingertips. He let the sensations wash over him and was almost overcome by the emotions that the single touch evoked. He circled the chair and sat down in it, causing dust to unsettle and cloud up around him. Had it really been that long?
Who was the individual who had kept this place around for so long, not tearing it down, not making something new? In the harsh red lights of the exit signs and the soft almost nonexistent whiteness of the emergency lights, he could barely make out the familiar forms. One desk, one stage, 4 chairs, 2 tables, a piano. Everything covered in dust. He ran a fingertip along the table beside him, picking up a thick layer of the stuff and rubbed it between his thumb and finger ruminating over the past.
Ryan leaned his head back as far as it would go, looking up into the catwalks and overhead lights. He closed his eyes. Dust particles danced in the beam of light that came from a tiny bulb directly above Ryan's head and it looked like stardust as it fluttered down upon him.
He awoke to the sounds of laugher. Not just a single voice but an entire audience. At first his brain didn't have the chance to process the fact that there was no one else in the room, the sound of the laughter triggering something deep within and he just knew it was the laughter he had heard for years. He wrinkled his nose in confusion, but did not open his eyes.
The laughter grew louder and he thought for sure he heard other voices as well. Now this was odd, because one of the voices he could have sworn was his own. It all sounded tinny and far away, distant in his ear. He strained a little to try and pick up what was being said.
"Let's go onto a game called Improbable Mission. This is for Colin and Ryan. You guys are secret agents carrying out an every day activity...."
The voice became clearer and a small smile played on Ryan's lips. He didn't want to open his eyes yet, but it was almost impossible. The voices were coming in clearer and he knew he just knew that if he did, it would fade away, harsh reality glaring back at him. He frowned at that and scrunched his eyes closed tighter.
"Got a tape in the mail." Ryan perked up at the sound of his voice. His hands gripped the sides of his chair. It was really strange to hear his voice coming from only steps away, loud and strong and clear. He ran a hand through his hair and willed himself to keep his eyes closed.
"I thought we were out of the spy business." The soft, dulcet, smooth and even tones of his best friend, immediately brought tears springing forth into Ryan's closed eyes and he could no longer resist leaving them closed. Too long, oh too long had it been since he had seen Colin. That acknowledgement touched him deep in his heart, much more than a broken, empty set could ever do. His eyes fluttered open to the sound.
The bright stage lights caused him to rub his eyes momentarily. His brain warred with his emotions telling him this could not be. This is impossible! Ryan cleared his eyes and looked at the clear, clean stage below. Everything was shiny and polished. Not a speck of dust. He looked over and saw Wayne sitting a seat down from him, his eyes fixed on the pair on the stage. He looked over and saw Greg standing next to Drew waiting for his turn to come in. Audience members were perched on the edge of their seats waiting for the next quip. Drew was in his seat twirling his pencil. This was surreal to say at least.
In the middle of the stage stood his best friend of over 30 years. He disregarded his own form, at present, to take in the other familiar face that was as close to him as his own. He looked years younger. His pale, pellucid skin, so bright against the lights, transfixed Ryan who never really noticed it in the midst of their games. Or when sitting beside each other. Somehow now he looked even more transparent-like. His mind tried to somehow rationalize to him that this was only a dream, but it looked and felt so real. The sounds and sights were too real to call it anything but. He could smell the excitement in the air. The same excitement that drove him week after week. The smell of their combined sweat over the physical efforts and the heat of the lights above. Everything was just as it used to be. Ryan smiled wide. He was overwhelmed with memories.
He looked at his own form and shook his head. Here was someone he wished he could go up to and throttle. After all that had happened in his life since....he never put more stock in the term 'hind sight is 20 -20' than he did now. He knew exactly what his thoughts were at the time and he was ashamed. 'Get it over with, get it done, and move on.' Where was the joy that he once knew? Where was the laughter he looked forward to? When had it just become a pay check?
Now if he could only tell himself. Go over to the man just going through the motions and say, 'HEY listen!!! Don't let this good thing slip away. You don't know how much longer it will last. You don't know what loneliness is, until you lose what is standing right in front of you. Look at him. Don't let him get away!"
Ryan watched as the scene continued, almost brought to tears of laughter as his memories washed over him.
"Reel us up." Colin said as his hand slipped around Ryan's belly. Ryan watched the scene from a different angle, and never realized until this moment that when he said he loved Colin, it was then that Colin's knees seemed to weaken. If only slightly. He knew he had joked with his partner for years the on again off again fascination of being in love with him. He never had taken it seriously. He never cared. It was just a passing thing, a way to keep the audience interest as well as the many fantasies of the fans. He was too into the game to realize that for a brief instant Colin had rested his head ever-so-slightly in Ryan's back and breathed him in. His friend had felt so much more than Ryan ever knew. And it was at this, that Ryan was shaken to the core. Did he even know? He reached toward the two men on stage...only wanting to lay a hand on the bleeding heart of the one who would never say how he truly felt.
From that point on Ryan became entranced through the rest of the game. It never, ever ceased to amaze him that his friend could reduce him to tears, in a matter of seconds with a well placed word or look. Ryan rested his hands on his knees and allowed his laughter to flow as freely as Drew's over the hilarity of a scene he almost had memorized verbatim. It was a popular sketch and he knew it well. But it was fresh to his mind looking at it from this view. He saw the tiny smile quirked on Colin's lips as he tried to keep his laughter inside. Always the professional, even in something as forgiving as comedy. Ryan wanted to just go over to him and run his fingers across the little pout, the little dimple that creased his cheek and grab him in the tightest bear hug. He wanted to say 'Laugh...its ok! Let Go!'
And then he did. "The Snackerflarf of Emore will be here." Ryan's eyes were streaming with tears of laughter. It was a weird sound to him being echoed off of silent walls and resounding off of the laughter in the audience. Two worlds meshed into one. He paid it no mind as he continued to wipe his face. Oh those were the days. Why did the pain continue to grow in his heart? He raised a giant hand to it, willing the pain to cease. He shook his head. He didn't want to remember it now.
Out of the shadows of the backstage wing a form approached silently. His face was wistful, as he stared poignantly at the man in the chair. Ryan didn't notice him yet; he was still engrossed with the magic the pair on stage was making. This was the stuff dreams were made of. And he was having the most delightful dream. It was only a dream, wasn't it? The form crossed over and sat down in his chair. The chair he had known for so many years. The chair he still sat in on occasion. He looked at Ryan and he looked at the stage. A small, melancholy smile was on his lips as he once again turned to the man at his left. He studied him for a long while. It was time.
"Well you can't have static cling; the burnoose will stick to his...thing."
Ryan laughed so hard that he barely felt the pain that shot through his heart at the same time. A hand ghosted on his shoulder. The owner turned to the stage before him briefly and smiled forlornly. Soon.
"Wait a minute....THE CAT."
"The cat's wet now." The voice didn't come from the stage but from the man sitting by Ryan. It was spoken so gently, Ryan heard it on the gliding air currents. The voice had no depth, no solidity. He turned to the sound. He saw Colin sitting there, hand still resting on his shoulder, gaining strength and form. At first Ryan could only see an outline. He blinked his eyes and shape took form. It was real. He was real. Ryan shook his head in disbelief. Today was a strange day indeed.
"Are you ready?" Colin asked; hope sparkling in his tired eyes.
"But, Colin..." Ryan stuttered uncertain. He looked back out at the stage, and toward the audience. The sounds and the laughter and the ghosts of the past still echoed all around him, still played their game, but it was quieter now, an anticipatory hush, expecting.
"Come play with me." Colin said standing and extending his hand to his old friend. Colin smiled, and in that smile he welcomed Ryan home.
They had been looking for Ryan for a few hours now. Drew, Greg, Chip, Brad and Jeff were taking a tour of the old studios. They hadn't been back in years. It was getting to be sunset and they had lost track of Ryan around lunch time. They decided to do one last survey of the studio before they called the police. They were all worried. Greg opened the studio doors; every thing was dark save a few emergency lights. He glanced up on stage and stopped in his tracks. He went up the aisle and paused momentarily at Drew's old desk, afraid to proceed further. He approached the form slumped down in the last chair.
The other's came up behind Greg silently looking over his shoulder. Greg's hand rested softly on the shoulder in front of him, feeling a strange tingling sensation in the spot. The most serene of smiles was on Ryan's face. Greg smiled back and said in a quiet voice. "Goodbye."
Now there's only emptiness...nothing to say...
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Author: The Empress of All
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating: PG-13?
Summary: Ryan tries his best to convince Colin he has done everything to get him onto the US cast.
Disclaimer: I just get happy lil twinges of creativity at times...must listen to the voices in my head...must do what they tell me. (Ach...do you wanna get sued? Just use that "shin" of yours and I'll come a runin')
Ryan approached the green room carefully and cautiously. He heard his footsteps as they echoed in the long dark corridor leading up to the door. He hesitantly put his hand on the knob and slowly turned. He knew who would be waiting inside, and he knew he would not be happy. The anticipation hung in the air like a thick cloud of smoke, swirling around his head. He would so rather be anywhere else but here at the moment. He didn't want to have to face the man whom he'd put everything on the line for and had come up with nothing.
He opened the door slowly and poked his head inside. The room was dimly lit and very drafty. The only occupant there had his back facing the door, the days' newspaper in hand, held at an odd angle to provide a better view.
Ryan came into the room and stood a couple of feet behind him. He was a little timid to go any further. It was so quiet in the room. He could hear the sound of his own breathing, so loud it seemed as if it were amplified by the studio microphones. The man in front of him never turned around. He simply folded his paper and said "Good evening, Ryan."
The dulcet tones sent so many shivers and tingles up Ryan's spine. He trembled slightly and stepped closer. "I thought you might like to talk over about what happened today...at the meeting."
"How very thoughtful." he said acidly. "Or did Dan Patterson send you in for one last wheedle, before you both send me on my merry way."
"No, I came because I wanted to." Ryan said a little hurt at the implication. He came around the service table and approached the pale, eerily quiet form in the recliner.
The form in the chair expelled the tiniest notion of breath, which Ryan picked up upon and knew it was amused laughter. Colin swiveled the chair agonizingly slow. Ryan could see the dark circles, the lines of worry drawn into his long-time friend's face. Colin started his slow trek up Ryan's long, lean body, his dark brown iris' finally settling on Ryan's deep emeralds. "People will say we're in love."
Ryan couldn't meet Colin's eyes for long. He looked about the room, anywhere but at the accusing, predatory look he was receiving now..."Tsk Tsk Tsk Tsk...dying my hair red...that was an especially nice touch Ryan, yours?" Colin laced his long tapered fingers together.
"Yes," Ryan replied almost inaudibly. He laughed nervously and ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"Yeeesssss" Colin drawed out, his sensuous lips curling. "That was good...pity about the show though, tick tock tick tock tick tock."
Ryan finally had enough "Why don't we cut the bullshit, Colin, you know I did everything I could to get you here. I was in there fighting with Dan for hours. You know he's the only one that doesn't think you're good enough, Everyone else loves you!" Ryan said with implied meaning.
"Oh Ryan, your problem is you need to get more fun out of life." The mocking, patronizing tone continued. Colin was borderline losing his patience, but not before he baited his mouse a little further.
"You were telling me the truth back in the UK, Colin, please continue now." Ryan dropped down beside him, perching on the arm rest.
"Well I've told you everything, I need to Ryan, have you?" Colin said searching Ryan's face, his piercing eyes coming to fine glinting points. "Everything you need to know about me is right here in front of you."
"Then tell me now." Ryan said, tired of the mind game that Colin was playing with him. Ryan needed to shake him up, make him lose this frozen-ice exterior, make him feel, make him tell him how much he valued his place on the show, how much it meant to him, how much he meant to him.
"First principles, Ryan...simplicity." Colin refused to break. He became more harsh and calculating. "Read Marcus Orelius, of each particular thing ask what is it in itself? What is it's nature? What does he do, this man you seek?" Colin stood and went to the other side of the room his back to Ryan.
"He makes people laugh." Ryan exhales, he just wishes Colin would look at him, with the eyes of a friend once more. He wanted Colin to see that he made him laugh as well.
"No...that is incidental." Colin said to the wall. "What is the first and principle thing he does. What needs does he serve by making people laugh."
"Happiness...uhm...social acceptance, and uh...sexual frustration." Ryan was grasping for straws.
"NO..." Colin whirled to face him, crossing the distance between them to stand in front of his friend and stare him down. "He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Ryan? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now." Colin dropped his voice low and seductive.
Ryan backed up, only to be met with the couch behind him, he landed on it and pushed himself into the cushions. "No, we just..."
"No...we begin by coveting what we see everyday." Colin came closer, bringing his face close Ryan's, his lips so very close to Ryan's own, his eyes looking longingly at Ryan's parted, expectant mouth. "Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Ryan? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?"
"Allright yes, but please tell me how.." Ryan said, his breathing becoming erratic, a few millimeters closer and he would taste the soft, sweet skin of his best friend.
"No...it's your turn to tell me, Ryan." Colin eased off of Ryan and crossed his arms. "You don't have any more perks to offer. Why did you bring me here if you didn't think I'd make it?"
"Colin, we don't have any time for this right now." Ryan said growing frantic. "But we don't reckon time the same way do we, Ryan. This is all the time you'll ever have."
"Later now, please listen to me we only got five..." Ryan pushed up from the couch and was immediately halted. "NO!...I will listen now." Colin pushed him down hard. Pinning his arms back, holding him still.
"Then listen to this," Ryan said, resolved. "I brought you here because I have very strong feelings for you." *That was an understatement* "I don't think I can do the show without you. I need you here, with me. I fought for you, and I don't want you to blame me for not trying hard enough." Ryan reached up and traced his fingers down the smooth, satiny skin of Colin's cheek. He smoothed out the worry lines, the firm down turned corners of his mouth, and eased his hands off of his shoulder's. Colin was beginning to relax into the touch, his eyes finally losing their edge, becoming friendly, kind, affectionate. How could he stay mad at his best friend for long? He gave Ryan's shoulder a pat and sat down beside him on the couch. He put his head on Ryan's shoulder and snuggled into it, finally giving up his anger. Ryan placed a gentle kiss on Colin's forehead, happy that the sinister conversation had passed.
Just then Greg burst through the door. He was looking disheveled, tired and relieved. He took in the scene before him and smirked. "Hey guys...I'm so glad I found you here." I just heard from Drew that you finally got through to Dan and he's gonna let Col stay on the show." Greg said coming over to clap Ryan on the back. He turned and left smiling and laughing.
Ryan looked down at his friend. A small smile playing on his lips. Colin looked up into his eyes. "Thank you, Ryan..." he said as he brushed his finger alongside Ryan's letting him know just how he felt, not with words, but with a single touch.
The Best Medicine
Title: The Best Medicine
Author: The Empress of Fluff
Pairing: Ryan/Col
Rating: R - I set the the dryer on Fluff-Hotness!
Summary: Ryan wants no one but you....know who!
Disclaimer: Well it could have happen...we all know it did somewhere someday somehow:) I was a lil busy bee on the wall....don't squash me:)
This story will kill two Birdloves with one Razzberrycreme:) I promised both ladies a story so I hope this does the trick:) Razz wanted some fluff and Birdie wanted some hotness. And I was pokied in just the right ways to bring a lil of both....(I hope) Thankie Ladies for being who you are:)
"http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u23/EmpressAR/rycolhospital.jpg" Made by the FANTABULOUS Katri_Katri:)
"Hello?" Colin answered the phone, his voice showing the slightest hint of annoyance. He was just putting the finishing touches on his chili-rubbed turkey breast, and Deb was no where to be found to pick it up as it continued to ring.
"Oh, hello Pat." Colin said, his voice rising and octave when the caller on the other end hurried to make her presence known. Colin immediately went into worry mode. 'This can't be good.' He thought to himself. He seldom, if ever got a call from the Stiles residence, and by the sound of Pat's voice on the other end, he knew he'd better treat this as serious.
"Colin, he needs you, ok?" She said hastily.
"What's the matter? What's wrong with Ryan?" Colin said moving quickly about the room. He didn't care what it took he would do whatever he was needed to do to help. Ryan was his very best friend. He listened on the other end of the phone as Pat explained.
"His tonsils???!!" Colin said almost dropping the phone. He chuckled then, softly at first then with more enthusiasm. He covered his lips with his hand, subconsciously hiding his smile, his self-consciousness ever ingrained into him. "I thought it was dangerous to have your tonsils removed when you are an adult?" He said trying to compose himself. He slowed down his movements. Although it could be a life or death situation, it wasn't near as bad as what he had been conjuring up.
"Well it is, sort of." Pat said, her own tinkling laughter subsiding. "But Ryan is making it seem like he's on his death bed. There have been a few complications with the surgery, but nothing too drastic. You know how he is."
Colin shook his head. "What's he doing now?" He knew full well what Ryan would be doing. And he was right.
"Oh he refuses to speak to anyone." Pat said returning to her morose tones. "He's very stubbornly taking an issue about being there in the first place. The doctors have been very accommodating, but he still refuses to cooperate. I try to get him to eat or to drink, but he won't. I try to get him to talk to me but he doesn't. He sits there with his arms folded and scowls all day. After the operation he has been even more of a bear, I'm afraid. He complains constantly about being in pain and feeling sick and needing a smoke, when he very well knows he can't."
Colin could just picture Ryan sitting in his backless hospital gown, bored, flipping through TV channels and turning the air blue whenever an unfortunate nurse would come in to take his temperature.
"Colin, you have to come down here, you just have to." Pat said bringing the purpose of her call into the light.
"Has he asked for me?" Colin said twirling the phone cord around his fingers. He picked at a peeling paint chip on the wall in front of him and filed the thought to repair it somewhere in file thirteen.
"No, he hasn't asked for you, Colin. But I can see that he needs a friend here. He's restless in that bed and the doctors say he needs to stay a few days more. It would cheer him up immeasurably, if you surprised him with a visit."
Colin thought about it for a moment, before consenting. It would be hard dealing with a petulant Ryan Stiles, but he had been there before. He agreed to be on the next plane down and it was settled. He hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. It had been too long.
Colin creaked open the door to the hospital room. The lights were off and the drapes were closed. It was the middle of the day but it looked like midnight in the tiny, sterile hospital room. Ryan had his back facing the door, curled up on his side. The TV was blaring on some random sports talk show but the room's occupant, Colin could barely make out, was listlessly playing with the tube on his IV drip, and staring off into space.
"I've come to pay a visit to the grizzly bear who lives in this cave." Colin said breezing into the room. His stomach had nervous butterflies swirling around in it. He didn't know for certain how well his presence would be received.
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