Enough of the city!
From tall buildings to tall palm trees,
From concrete to sand,
I've made my way out into the sea,
To a much smaller piece of land.
The days are peaceful and quiet with plenty of sun,
The nights have the parties jammin',
Everyone is laid back but knows how to have fun,
And reply to everthing "Ya, mon!"
From concrete to sand,
I've made my way out into the sea,
To a much smaller piece of land.
The days are peaceful and quiet with plenty of sun,
The nights have the parties jammin',
Everyone is laid back but knows how to have fun,
And reply to everthing "Ya, mon!"
A Sad Day at BMA
I have a very important announcement to make. We lost contact with Buttmonkey today. He had chartered a fishing boat for the afternoon and hasn't been heard from since. We have contacted all the authorities in Jamaica, Coast Guard, and have had assurances that U.S. spy satellites are being re-aligned to join in the search. No word yet. When we have something else we will pass it right on. Please pray for the safe return of our dear friend and beloved primate. And if you wish to send well wishes, sign the guestbook. BMA thanks you. Stay tuned!
Three Hour Tour My ASS
So...it all started when I had the great idea of touring some of the islands.
I should've paid attention to the warning flags going up when I met this guy! But he called me his "Little Buddy" and gave me a banana. So what's a monkey to do?
Then a 'little' tropical storm blew in and we found ourselves shipwrecked on a deserted island.
We all tried to make the best of it. We built grass huts, collected coconuts, and took turns with the only available women. I really came to like them all as my family, and for all I knew, they would be the only people I would ever see for the rest of my life.
Then I got bored one day and said screw these losers. I made a raft and drifted out on my own. I came to rest on another island where I wasn't the only one to be 'LOST'!
These people had survived a plane crash. They were really stressing about being here, but I tried to lighten up their sitch. I showed them that they had it made here. 4 starters, what they 8 fell from the sky. They had been here 15 or 16 days already, and were still in great health. It helped that their average age was about 23. And if they really wanted to leave, they could swim for it. After all Jamaica was only 42 miles north, northwest. They just didn't see the big picture! But after a few generous favors....
...I made friends with them pretty quick, as you could guess.
Of course ol' Buttmonkey had his favorites! (Talk about a jungle honey! Hee hee!)
But it was time to move on again. So I set sail for another island that I hoped would have somebody with a cell phone. Boy was I in luck. The next island had two of the cooolest guys in the world....
I could've stayed here forever! These guys had a real racket going. You pay them all your life savings and they slip you a very powerful, face melting hallucinogenic. Makes you see stuff that isn't really there. I tell you, I really considered doing this, but ol' Buttmonkey doesn't do drugs, m'kay. That didn't stop me from being a part of the team. Me and the little guy would creep in the guest's rooms at night and drop this liquid in their coffee pots. Then we'd sit back and just laugh and laugh. Some thought they travelled in time, some others would think they were somebody special....as if!
Then yesterday the little guy started yelling "Da plane, da plane!" It was D.E.A.! I was saved! We all three were treated to a free plane ride... I was in the cockpit, the other two dudes had to ride in the plane's cargo hold.:( But at least they got armed escorts. When I look back at the ordeal I can say I met alot of interesting people, (molested most of them) and made alot of new friends. In the end though, my best friends through it all.....
...were my balls!
I should've paid attention to the warning flags going up when I met this guy! But he called me his "Little Buddy" and gave me a banana. So what's a monkey to do?
Then a 'little' tropical storm blew in and we found ourselves shipwrecked on a deserted island.
We all tried to make the best of it. We built grass huts, collected coconuts, and took turns with the only available women. I really came to like them all as my family, and for all I knew, they would be the only people I would ever see for the rest of my life.
Then I got bored one day and said screw these losers. I made a raft and drifted out on my own. I came to rest on another island where I wasn't the only one to be 'LOST'!
These people had survived a plane crash. They were really stressing about being here, but I tried to lighten up their sitch. I showed them that they had it made here. 4 starters, what they 8 fell from the sky. They had been here 15 or 16 days already, and were still in great health. It helped that their average age was about 23. And if they really wanted to leave, they could swim for it. After all Jamaica was only 42 miles north, northwest. They just didn't see the big picture! But after a few generous favors....
...I made friends with them pretty quick, as you could guess.
Of course ol' Buttmonkey had his favorites! (Talk about a jungle honey! Hee hee!)
But it was time to move on again. So I set sail for another island that I hoped would have somebody with a cell phone. Boy was I in luck. The next island had two of the cooolest guys in the world....
I could've stayed here forever! These guys had a real racket going. You pay them all your life savings and they slip you a very powerful, face melting hallucinogenic. Makes you see stuff that isn't really there. I tell you, I really considered doing this, but ol' Buttmonkey doesn't do drugs, m'kay. That didn't stop me from being a part of the team. Me and the little guy would creep in the guest's rooms at night and drop this liquid in their coffee pots. Then we'd sit back and just laugh and laugh. Some thought they travelled in time, some others would think they were somebody special....as if!
Then yesterday the little guy started yelling "Da plane, da plane!" It was D.E.A.! I was saved! We all three were treated to a free plane ride... I was in the cockpit, the other two dudes had to ride in the plane's cargo hold.:( But at least they got armed escorts. When I look back at the ordeal I can say I met alot of interesting people, (molested most of them) and made alot of new friends. In the end though, my best friends through it all.....
...were my balls!
