Call me 'Sir Buttmonkey'
You guys probably didn't know that the Queen and I go way back. She has always been so nice to me. Why, right when I arrived she had a gift for me!
She seems stuffy in the media, but if you would get to know the ol' gal, you'd see that she is really very kind, thoughtful, and has one heck of a sense of humor!
The first part of my trip to England went great. I was greeted with cheers and treated like royalty everywhere I went. The Queen thought I was hilarious!
And Tony said he just wanted to eat me up!
I said, "Yuck! I don't know where that mouth has been! How about just giving me a good Brit spank!"
But the Queen didn't think what happened next was as funny as I did. It all started when Chuck, Camilla, and I were having tea one afternoon in the courtyard. I made a harmless crack about Camilla being 2nd runner-up in the Kentucky Derby. Then she got offended (go figure?!) and made a bad impersonation of a monkey...
Hey! You can harp on me all day long, but I can't handle when someone talks about primates like we are inferior. I mean we are only a few genes off from you oh-so-important homosapiens. Nevermind, don't get me started. I getting off the subject...Anyway, she pissed me off, so you know what I did.......
That's right!
S a M A C K ! ! !
Then they both went running to Liz like little babies and tattled on me. They told her what I did and showed her where she was hit.
Liz got a little tiffed at me and warned me to watch my temper. Man, that Camilla has caused a riff between me and one of my closest friends! I steamed about it for a litttle while and decided there was only one thing I could do.......THAT'S RIGHT!
S a M A C K ! ! ! "Here's your crown, Mr. Ed!"
That night I was visited by some nice gents from Scotland Yard. I got to take a V.I.P. tour of the Tower of London's dungeons. I thought the tour lasted too long. Two weeks to be exact. I did meet an elderly chap in there that was shackled to the wall. He was rambling on about what he would give to be shat at in the face. And how crucifiction was the best thing that England ever invented. And how the Royal Family has taught him that a fair days work for a fair days blah blah blah.... Listening to him go on, and on made me never want to vist this awful place again. I also learned the error of my ways, so when I got out, I knew what I had to do.........
THAT'S RIGHT!.............
S a M A C K ! ! !
"That one was for Diana!"
Liz thought that one was very funny and I was in her good graces again! I had a lot of fun in England. But I feel it's time to move on. Rumor has it Chuck has hired some agent to follow me around. I think his name was...Bond.....yea that was it, James Bond. He had better have a few tricks up his sleeve to get me though.;)
She seems stuffy in the media, but if you would get to know the ol' gal, you'd see that she is really very kind, thoughtful, and has one heck of a sense of humor!
The first part of my trip to England went great. I was greeted with cheers and treated like royalty everywhere I went. The Queen thought I was hilarious!
And Tony said he just wanted to eat me up!
I said, "Yuck! I don't know where that mouth has been! How about just giving me a good Brit spank!"
But the Queen didn't think what happened next was as funny as I did. It all started when Chuck, Camilla, and I were having tea one afternoon in the courtyard. I made a harmless crack about Camilla being 2nd runner-up in the Kentucky Derby. Then she got offended (go figure?!) and made a bad impersonation of a monkey...
Hey! You can harp on me all day long, but I can't handle when someone talks about primates like we are inferior. I mean we are only a few genes off from you oh-so-important homosapiens. Nevermind, don't get me started. I getting off the subject...Anyway, she pissed me off, so you know what I did.......
That's right!
S a M A C K ! ! !
Then they both went running to Liz like little babies and tattled on me. They told her what I did and showed her where she was hit.
Liz got a little tiffed at me and warned me to watch my temper. Man, that Camilla has caused a riff between me and one of my closest friends! I steamed about it for a litttle while and decided there was only one thing I could do.......THAT'S RIGHT!
S a M A C K ! ! ! "Here's your crown, Mr. Ed!"
That night I was visited by some nice gents from Scotland Yard. I got to take a V.I.P. tour of the Tower of London's dungeons. I thought the tour lasted too long. Two weeks to be exact. I did meet an elderly chap in there that was shackled to the wall. He was rambling on about what he would give to be shat at in the face. And how crucifiction was the best thing that England ever invented. And how the Royal Family has taught him that a fair days work for a fair days blah blah blah.... Listening to him go on, and on made me never want to vist this awful place again. I also learned the error of my ways, so when I got out, I knew what I had to do.........
THAT'S RIGHT!.............
S a M A C K ! ! !
"That one was for Diana!"
Liz thought that one was very funny and I was in her good graces again! I had a lot of fun in England. But I feel it's time to move on. Rumor has it Chuck has hired some agent to follow me around. I think his name was...Bond.....yea that was it, James Bond. He had better have a few tricks up his sleeve to get me though.;)
