The Whittling Widdlers of the Woods of Wiss

 

A Tena HP of the Incontinante worships at her bush. It has spontaneously combusted due to a build up of phosphorous (see Fire From Wiss). She wears the Facsimile Shroud as a mark of respect.

Now Wisser was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of Whiss. ²There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bushe. Wisser saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. ³So Wisser thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight -- why the bushe does not burn up."

⁴When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, Whiss called to him from within the bushe, "Wisser! Wisser!"

And Wisser said, "Here I am."

⁵"Do not come any closer," Whiss said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." ⁶Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Arseraham, the God of Pissaac and the God of Jackoff." At this, Wisser hid his face, because he was afraid to look at Whiss.

⁷The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Eshyte. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. ⁸So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Eshyetians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey -- the home of the Wissaanites, Shittites, Arsemorites, Pissrizzites, Hivesites and Jebuggerites. ⁹And now the cry of the Arseraelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Eshyetians are oppressing them. ¹⁰So now, go. I am sending you to Pharwiss to bring my people the Arseraelites out of Eshyte."

¹¹But Wisser said to Whiss, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharwiss and bring the Arseraelites out of Eshyte?"

¹²And Wiss said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Eshyte, you will worship Whiss on this mountain."

¹³Wisser said to Whiss, "Suppose I go to the Arseraelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

¹⁴Whiss said to Wisser, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Arseraelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.'"

¹⁵Whiss also said to Wisser, "Say to the Arseraelites, 'The LORD, the God of your fathers -- the God of Arseraham, the God of Pisssaac and the God of Jackoff -- has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation.