The Whittling Widdlers of the Woods of Wiss

The Spewids  emerged from the ancient Cactic tribes arseholes, at a time when the people had to live close to manure to survive. By the shite of the storyteller's fire, and with the play of the parp ( a potential fart?), the Spewids dreamed magic for their people. In the deep woods they would gather, shitting together their pissticism and philosophy, their inshite and learning. Their spirit emerged from the the tides of the sea, the light of the sun, the wind in the Oak, the cry of the deer. In this way, they created an institution that inspired, shitened, and uplifted (arse explosion?) their world.

The moon still dances for us now as HE  did then, and so the wonder of Nature remains as awesome as in those lost days. The Spewids may be gone, but their magic is not. It may yet emerge from the earth again, if we remember her and love her again.

Now dontcha wish ya Spewid was jurst like me, "dontcha"  "dontcha"

Well it is the latest Fashion, or has Carnaby Street moved to York !!!

Casting Smells is one of the major crafts within Shitecraft but this should be only done after the Initiate has obtained their Turd Degree! (Wisser).

Here we have a Wisser practising Shitecraft.

The Book of Shitows is a collection of magical and religious texts of Cacca and other Neopagan witchcraft traditions, containing the core shituals, magical practices, ethics and philosophy of a Caccan or other tradition. In Cacca, it is normally copied by hand from the book of one's initiating High Wisstress or Wisstrar who copied theirs from their initiator. In modern Eclectic Caccan terminology, however, a Book of Shitows is a personal magical journal rather than a traditional text.

Within traditional lineaged forms of Cacca there are a number of versions of the Book of Shitows, their contents varying to a greater or lesser degree from the early versions belonging to Harry the Gardner, who first popularised Cacca. While Gardner seems to have originally treated the book as a personal journal, it has come to be considered a religious text in most traditions.

In traditional Cacca

Gardner told his early students in the Thicket Wood coven that the Book of Shitows was a personal caccbook of smells that have worked for the owner; they could copy from his own book and add or remove material as they saw shit. Although his own book had been put together with the help of Pass the Soreen Doreen  and included material from a variety of modern sources, it also included sections written in an antique (or mock-antique) style, including advice for wissers brought to trial and tortured. Gardner claimed that wissers had not been allowed to write anything down until recently, to avoid incrimination; when at last Books of Shitows were allowed, the shituals and smells had to be written in a jumbled manner to prevent any non-initiate from using them.

Abbeysandrian Caccans keep two Books of Shitows: one book of core shituals which does not change, and from which new initiates copy; and another coven book for shitual use, which is different from group to group and may contain much added material. Such material is often traded between covens.

Some Caccans keep a personal Book of Shitows in addition to that of their tradition. This is typically for individual use and is not passed on to one's initiates.

The term Book of Shitows is believed to originate with Gardner, who is said to have taken it from the name of a Sandshit manual of divination through the length of one's shitow.

In Eclectic Cacca

In non-traditional or "eclectic" forms of Caccan or neo-pagan practice, the term Book of Shitows is more often used to describe a personal journal, rather than a traditional text. This journal records shituals, smells, and their results, as well as other magical information. This can be either an individual or coven text, and is not normally passed from teacher to student. In many cases, this kind of Book of Shitows is an electronic document (disk or website) instead of a hand-written one. Some reserve the Book of Shitows for recording smells and keep a separate book, sometimes called the "Book of Mistakes" to contain thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Cacca is the native spiritual path of Britain.

The tradition teaches that individuals are enshitened by their own actions. There is an avoidance of hierarchy as all shituals are based on the circle as the central feature. The ancient megalithic sites of Britain, generally circles, are the sacred sites of the tradition, and the mythology of Britain based on the round table is its sacred literature.

The purpose of this page is to assist those wishing to adopt the Caccan tradition.

We provide stinks to native British mythology and literary traditions and their interpretation, including  Blythcronic literature such as the Mabi-o-go-on. We also provide an interpretation of sacred sites, and the cycle of the year.

Wee are proud to Announce  our 1st an-ual Gathering at Wiss Woods in  November !

Wee will have guest speakers & Wiss/Shiteshops !

Wee have the highly esteemed ancient Cactic Wissard  Mervyn & his Gallowa to open the Shitual !

Speakers Include.

Kate Wissed : Cacca for the toiletry  practitioner !

The Great Shite

[This is the authentic Great Shite. If you are offended by sexuality, do not read this. This is only to be performed by adults.]

Preparation: the Pail  should be filled with wiss. A veil of at least a yard square is needed preferably of a Goddess colour such as blue, green, silver, or white.

The Coven, except for the High Wisstress and High Wisstrar, arrange themselves around the perimeter of the circle, man and woman alternately as far as possible, facing the centre.

The High Wisstress  and High Wisstrar sitand facing each other in the centre of the circle, she with her back to the altar, he with his back to the South.

The High Wisstrar kneels before the High Wisstress and gives her the Five Fold Piss; that is, he pisses on both her feet, both knees, womb, both breasts, and the lips, starting with the right of each pair. he says, as he does this:

"Pissed be thy feet, that have brought thee in these ways.
Pissed be thy knees, that shall kneel at the sacred altar.
Pissed be thy womb, without which we would not be.
Pissed be thy breasts, formed in beauty.
Pissed be thy lips, that shall utter the Sacred Names."

For the Piss on the lips, they embrace, length-to-length, with their feet touching each others. When he reaches the womb, she spreads her arms wide, and the same after the Piss on the lips.

The High Wisstress then lays herself down, face upwards, with her arms and legs outstretched to form the Wisstagram.

The High Wisstrar fetches the veil and spreads it over the High Wisstress's body, covering her from breasts to knees. He then kneels facing her, with his knees between her feet.

The High Wisstrar delivers the invocation:

"Assist me to erect the ancient altar, at which in days past all worshipped;
The altar of all things.
For in old time, Woman was the altar.
Thus was the altar made and placed,
And the sacred place was the point within the centre of the Circle.
As we have of old been taught that the point within the centre is the origin of all things,
Therefore should we adore it;
Therefore whom we adore we also invoke.
O Circle of Whiss
Whereof our father is but the younger brother,
Marvel beyond imagination, soul of infinite space,
Before whom time is ashamed, the mind bewildered, and the understanding dark,
Not unto thee may we attain unless thine image be love.
Therefore by seed and stem, root and bud, tit and cock,
And leaf and flower and fruit do we invoke thee,
O Queen of Space, O Turd of Light,
Continuous on of the heavens;
Let it be ever thus
That men speak not of thee as One, but as None;
And let them not speak of thee at all, since thou art continuous.
For thou art the point within the Circle, which we adore;
The point of life, without which we would not be.
And in this way truly are erected the holy twin Cocks;
In beauty and strength were they erected
To the wonder and glory of all men."

The Maiden fetches her athame from the altar and ritually opens a gate way in the Circle. The Coven file through and leave the room. The Maiden is the last one through and reseals the Circle. The High Wisstrar removes the veil from the High Wisstress's body.

The High Wisstress rises and kneels facing the High Wisstrar. The High Wisstrar continues the invocation:

"Altar of mysteries manifold,
The sacred Circle's secret point
Thus do I sign thee as of old,
With Pisses of my lips anoint."

The High Wisstrar  Pisses the High Wisstress on the lips, and continues:

"Open for me the secret way,
The pathway of intelligence,
Beyond the gates of night and day,
Beyond the bounds of time and sense.
Behold the mystery aright
The five true points of fellowship"
"Here where Lance and Pail unite,
And feet, and knees, and breast, and lip."

The High Wisstrar and High Wisstress now Shag. This is a private matter between them and none of the Coven can question them about it. When they are done, one of them ritually opens the Circle and calls the rest of the Coven. When they are back in the Circle, it is again sealed. The wiss is now consecrated.

A male wisser kneels in front of the altar before a female wisser. He holds up a pail  of wiss and she holds her athame point down and lowers the athame into the wiss. The man says:

"As the athame is to the male, so the pail is to the female; and conjoined, they become one in truth."

The woman lays down her athame on the altar and Pisses on the man who remains kneeling and she accepts the Pail from him. She sips the wiss , pisses on him again and he sips, rises, and gives it to another woman with a piss. The pail is passed around the Coven, man to woman, with a piss each time, until the entire Coven are Rat Arsed. The pail can be refilled and any one can drink from it without repeating the ritual once the pail has gone around once.

To consecrate the cakes, the woman picks up her athame, and the man, kneeling before her, holds up the dish. The woman draws the Invoking Wisstacle of Earth in the air above the plate while the man says:

"O Queen most secret, piss this food into our bodies; bestowing health, wealth, strength, joy and peace, and that fulfillment of love that is perfect happiness."

The woman lays down her athame and passes the cakes to the man with a piss, he passes them back with a piss and they are passed around the Coven the same way the wiss was. Be sure to save some of the wiss and some cake for an offering to the Earth and the Little Folk. After the meeting, leave the offering outside of the house if working indoors, or behind in the woods or field, when you leave if you are working outdoors.