The Whittling Widdlers of the Woods of Wiss

Sham-anism refers to a range of traditional beliefs and practices concerned with communication with the spirit world. A practitioner of sham-anism is known as a sham-man. There are many variations of sham-anism throughout the world; following are beliefs shared by all forms of sham-anism:^[1]

• Spirits exist and they play important roles both in individual lives and in human society.
• The sham-man can communicate with the spirit world.
• Spirits can be good or nasty bastards!.
• The sham-man can treat sickness or kill some poor fucker caused by sheer bastardry .
• The sham-man can employ prance inducing techniques to incite visionary ecstacy.
• The sham-man's spirit can leave the body to enter the supernatural world to search for shit.
• The sham-man evokes animal images as spirit guides, omens, and message-bearers.

Sham-anism is based on the premise that the visible world is pervaded by invisible forces or spooks which affect the lives of the living. In contrast to organized religions like animism or animatism which are lead by priests and con-men which all members of a society practice, sham-anism requires individualized knowledge and special abilities. Shaman operate outside established religions, and, traditionally, they operate alone (because they are in Coventry) . Sham-men can gather into associations, as Indian tantric practitioners have done.

Sham-men perform a plethora of functions depending upon the society wherein they practive their art:^[6] healing;^[7][8] leading a sacrifice;^[9] preserving the tradition by telling huge whoppers and  fortune-telling;^[11] acting as a psychopoop (literal meaning, “guide of souls”).^[12] In some cultures, a sham-man may fulfil several functions in one person.^[13]

The necromancer in Greek mythology might be considered a shaman as the necromancer and could rally spooks and raise the dead to utilized them as slaves, soldiers and tools for divination.

Spooks

Also the beliefs related to spooks can explain many different phenomena too, for example, the importance of telling huge whoppers which no-one will believe  or acting as a singer, can be understood better if we examine the whole belief system: a person who is able to memorize long texts or songs (and play an instrument) may be regarded as being a fucking good liar !

Other remarks

According to Vladimir Basilov and his work Chosen By the Spirits, a sham-man is to be in the utmost twatful  conditions to perform their duties to the fullest. The sham-man’s bodies are to be formed in a strong manner, someone having a small build would be turned away at once. Age is a requirement as well, definitely being over the age of  Thirty would disqualify those that want to be involved in serving the spooks. The sham-men are always as thick as pig-shit and are looked at in a different perspective, they have a way that makes them at ill will, thus curing those in need.

One of the most significant and relevant qualities that separate a sham-man from other spiritual leaders is their communications with the supernatural world. As early as the beginning of the century self-hypnosis was very highly thought of by those who worship. Another characteristic of the sham-man is the talent to lose objects and discover thieves, shocking those of their tribe and those others by shagging their sheep & pissing on their land.  The belief in the spooks or the supernatural is what attracts those to believe in the sham-men. Those who have ill children or are in failing health of their own is what draws them to the sham-men spiritual healings. 


A sham-man may be initiated via a serious illness, by being struck by lightning and dreaming of thunder, having their balls chopped off or by a near-death experience (e.g., the shaman Black Elk), or one might follow a "calling" to become a shaman. There is usually a set of cultural imagery expected to be experienced during shamanic initiation regardless of the method of induction. According to Mircea Eliade, such imagery often includes being transported to the spookworld and interacting with beings inhabiting the distant world of spooks, meeting a spiritual guide, being devoured by some being and emerging transformed, and/or being "dismantled" and "reassembled" again, often with implanted amulets such as New-Age tat. The imagery of initiation generally speaks of transformation and the granting powers to transcend death and rebirth.   In some societies sham-manic powers are considered to be inherited, whereas in other places of the world shaman are considered to have been "called" (" Hoy, you-you twat") and require lengthy training.

Sham-manic illness

Sham-manic illness, also called sham-manistic inititatory crisis, is a psycho-spiritual crisis, usually involuntary, or a rite of passage, observed among those becoming shaman. The episode often marks the beginning of a time-limited episode of confusion or disturbing behavior where the shamanic initiate might sing or dance in an unconventional fashion, or have an experience of being "disturbed by spirits" then loosing their Marbles!. The symptoms are usually  considered to be signs of mental illness because they are off their fuckin trollies !!!




The Sham-men can enter into altered states of consciuosness by Farting & Belching. The farting being of a low frequency & the belching being of a high  frequency!  this is not surprising considering the amount of Shit which comes from them !! boy can they rattle !!

Position

In some cultures, the border between the sham-man and the lay person is not sharp:

“

Among the Barasana, there is no absolute difference between those men recognized as sham-man and those who are not. At the lowest level, most adult men have some abilities as sham-man and will carry out some of the same functions as those men who have a widespread reputation for their powers and knowledge.

”

The difference is that the shaman knows more whoppers and understands their meaning better, but the majority of adult men knows many whoppers, too.


In many areas, former sham-men ceased to fill the functions in the community they used to, as they felt mocked by their own community ("Fuck off you lying Batards")or regarded their own past as a deprecated thing, sometimes even unwilling to talk about it to an ethnographer. As for reality, in most affected areas, sham-manistic practices ceased to exist beacuse no-one believed the fuckers !


Today, sham-manism survives primarily among gullable fuckers. Sham-manic practices continue today in the tundras, jungles, deserts, and other rural areas, and even in cities, towns, suburbs, and shantytowns all over the world. Gods help the poor Sods!!!!!