Maryann's Weightloss Journey

Welcome to my website.

My name is Maryann I am 46 years old. I have been married for 23 years. Have a beautiful daughter Katie who is 18 and raising my husbands grandson who is 12 years old.

Life has not been easy. I chose food as my escape. I ate when I was sad. I ate when I was mad, I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was afraid.

Growing up in my family wasn't easy. My father was an alcoholic. He was a mean drunk. He physically and mentally abused us.  my father hated having a fat daughter. His name for me was FAT ASS. I never remember him calling me by name. I honestly think I over ate to get back at him that was the only thing I knew would make him as unhappy as he made my family.  The more he called me names the more I ate.

My youngest brother Joseph died in 1991. He was struck by a train after saving 2 girls from the track he did not have time to save himself. I missed him deeply. My mother lost her will to live and sunk into a deep depression in some ways I lost the both of them at the same time. I turned to food for comfort.

I can remember my mother being sick most of my life. I spent most of my time caring for her. We were very close. I would work come home have dinner with my husband and daughter then run to take care of mom. She was my best friend. She actually was my only friend other than my husband. Taking care of her left no time for friendships. She suffered from lung disease, Leukemia, and depression. My mother died in 1996. I lost my best friend. My dh worked 3rd shift so I was alone most of the time. I had no idea what to do with myself. I turned to my next best friend food.

My oldest brother Earland became ill not long after moms passing. Leukemia once again struck my family. I couldn't believe it. My brother needed a stemcell transplant in order to survive. I was tested couldn't believe a positive match. I would do anything to save him. Seven days after my brothers transplant he passed away. In ways I blamed myself for his passing. I was not prepared. The doctors did not tell me that the transplant itself could kill him. I turned to food once again.

On the day of my brothers funeral his pastor came to me. Gave me a hug and said what an amazing person I was.  How honored he was to meet. That I would be blessed for giving part of myself to save another.

That was the day I opened my eyes. I WAS WORTH IT. That I had to change my ways. That food was not my best friend. That I wasn't that ugly person  my father made me to believe I was. I had put so much effort into trying to help and save my love ones but was leting myself go.

January 6,2004 I walked into my first WeightWatchers meeting that is when I gave up what I thought was my best friend. That is the day  I gave up food.

                             I made a list of things I would gain by giving up food.

 

   1. A new Healthier me.

   2. Smaller clothes. 

   3. Not being to embarrassed or sore or tired to play with my children.

   4. Not having to worry about fitting in chairs in restraints, doctors, ect. 

   5. Be here to watch my children grow.

    6. Being able to shop anywhere. No more catalog shopping only to get them and have them not     fit. 

  

                                      Things I would lose if I didn't lose weight.  

                                                        MY LIFE     

 

As of today January 13, 2007 I have lost 181 pounds. I love the new me and won't change it for anything.                          

                                                                                  

                                                         UPDATED

Life is so amazing. I can't believe how much I have changed since starting my weightloss journey. I am no longer sitting around watching life

                                               I AM LIVING LIFE

                                I no longer say I CAN'T  I say I CAN.  

I have changed my job of 23 years. At my heaviest I never thought it would be possible. I went from working in a factory covered with dust standing on my feet all day and receiving no respect to working in a Veterans Outreach Center in an office where I am treated like I am worth something. It has helped build my self esteem tremendously.

I know longer worry about seating arrangements I fit every where. I can go to a restaurant and can just sit. I no longer have to send my husband in ahead of time to make sure they have seats without arms

I have finally started going to the doctors. I had not gone in 10 years. It felt great to walk in and not make excuses  to step on the scale because I knew it wouldn't go up high enough.

 I rode a bike first time in over 20 years. What  awesome feeling pedaling as fast as I could my hair blowing in the wind. I felt like a little kid.  I was yelling I am free, I am free, no nobody was around LOL I am not that brave.

I joined the Women's Auxiliary VFW. I marched in the Memorial day Parade in honor of our veterans. At my heaviest I would have had a hard time just walking down the street. 

I now go to the gym 3 times a week Dancersize class is my favorite for of exercise. I also do the treadmill. At home I ride my bike. Go walking and do WATP DVD.   

                                                            

As of today June 4th 2006 I have met all the goal that I set the most rewarding goal was that I lived to see my daughter graduate from High School.

 

                                                            NEW GOALS

 

To hit 200 pounds gone.

Chaperon a class field trip for my grandson. I never did for my daughter I did not want to embarrass her because I was so fat.

Go to an amusement park and go on the rides.

To run around the track at least once without stoping. This one may take awhile .

To continue to build my self esteem.

To wear a dress. I haven't worn one since my wedding day over 23 years ago.

                                                                   MARYANN