As the Fourth World Meeting of Families moves to Asia, the Worldwide Marriage Encounter answers the call of our Holy Father, Pope John Paul II, to gather Christian families to work towards world understanding and peace. Part of the preparatory activities are catechetical festivities for the father, the mother, the children and the youth which we call "festival" - a joyful gathering.

The relevance of the charism of the Worldwide Marriage Encounter in these festivals and in the eventual meeting of families makes it a natural conduit for building strong Catholic families not only in Asia but also all over the world.

Here in Iloilo, the WME couples have found a niche in the Archdiocesan Family Life Program and conveniently, in the parishes, as they participate in these festivals for families.

The Festival of Mothers at the Archdiocesan level was held last July 27-28, 2002 at the St. Clement's Retreat House, Luna St., La paz, Iloilo City. It was a live-in activity and was facilitated by the Archdiocesan Family Life Program teams. All the 18 vicariates sent their delegation of mothers to the Festival. The Festival focused on the divine calling of motherhood and the role of mothers in strengthening the family through adherence to the church's teachings and the Bible. It calls on all mothers to look to Christ and Mary as their models and to become instruments of peace, love and forgiveness, not only within their families, but also in both immediate, and eventually, global communities.

Designed to enable fathers to have a deeper and more meaningful view of their own role in the family, the Festival of Fathers, first held in Manila had an impact so profound that the Archdiocese of Jaro decided to replicate it down to its own parish levels. Thus, the first Festival of Fathers here in the Archdiocese was held. On may 18-19, delegates from the various vicariates came together for the occasion with the aim of being enriched as Fathers and for themselves to be instruments by which their respective communities could be enriched in the same way. As our divine Father provides for the needs of His children, this is the Church providing for the needs of the faithful. The good news to fathers is now at the parish levels.

The Festival of Fathers is likewise a preparatory activity for the forthcoming International Meeting of Families to be held in Manila on January 22-26, 2003. A need for facilitators to bring this message to as many fathers as possible has prompted the Archdiocese to be more flexible in its approach. For this reason, a unique Festival of Fathers was held on June 30 at the St. Clement's Golden Jubilee Hall. Coming as members of their home parishes, fathers who have experienced the Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend expressed their commitment to Christian fatherhood and the willingness to assist the Church by actively participating in the Festival. This is a positive step for spouses to be in good relationship with each other; as it now promises to be a back-to-back experience with the recent holding of a Festival of Mothers. It is an assurance of more couples giving themselves to be catalysts for changing the world by being more aware of their own selves and of living out their sacrament.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his foood was served in a wooden bowl. Whwn the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.

Tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's Hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the reminder of his Days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Alvin Toffler in his book "The Third Wave" describes the three stages of family development.

The first stage is called the Pre-Industrial Family. This is an agricultural family characterized by many children living together with grandparents, aunts and uncles and other relatives. This is sometimes called an extended family. It is suited for survival because many hands help in the production of food through farming and hunting and more hands to defend or protect the tribe against the intruders. But such a family is hard to transport. It is immobile and slow paced.

The second stage is called the Industrial Family. Industrialism dramatically changed the way of life in the family. The invention of machines and the rise of factories demanded masses of workers who are always ready and able to move in pursuit of the job. Men left their farms and worked in factories. The extended family gradually shed its excess weight and the so-called nuclear family emerged: a portable family consisting only of parents and a small set of children. This kind of family is far more mobile and can be easily transported.

The third stage is called the Super-industrial Family. This is characterized by the invention of more advanced machines, computers and other means of communication and transportation. Super-industrialism requires even higher mobility, cutting the family down to its most elemental components: a man and a woman.

We. notice that there is a link between the family form and the work arrangements. New forms of family will rise alongside the new techno-sphere and info-sphere. Based on this present situation and trends what do you think could be the future scenario of our families? I could offer you some:

Many couples will opt for a childless family and postpone childbearing. This will likely to happen most especially in the situation wherein the embryos can be bought easily from the laboratory.

The rise of "professional parents" versus "biological parents." They are called professionals because they are skilled in raising children. Biological parents will relinquish their parental responsibilities, not necessarily because of irresponsibility or lack of love, but because both of them have to look for a living for the security of their children in the future.

The rise of "temporary marriages" or "trial marriages." This is what we commonly call "live-in" arrangement in order to test if the relationship will work.

The reality of "serial marriage" or the pattern of successive temporary marriages entered one at a time. Some day when we apply for a job we will be made to fill up a form by choosing from the categories of Civil Status: Single, Married, Remarried or Unremarried.

The rise of "aggregate family" or the family of two people having previous marriages with several children or marriage of two divorced couples with children and bringing them into new expanded form.

The phenomenon of "single-parent families" and growth of "homosexual cohabitation" or "homosexual daddies" who will adopt children or buy embryos. There are still other forms of family such as: mother-grandmother family; mother-aunt family; mother-stepfather family; uncle-aunt family.

There are endless possibilities for future forms of families and we have the foretaste of some of them today. At this point let me ask you some questions: When the Church says lets preserve our marriage and family, what kind of family is she talking about? Are we going to maintain a nuclear family? What is her definition of a family?

WE LISTEN TO THE CHURCH

Pope John Paul II gave us some descriptions of a Christian family in his apostolic exhortation, "Familiaris Consortio." He said that a family is a community of life and love; a school of deeper humanity, and a domestic church.

The family, which is founded and given life by love, is a community of persons: of husband and wife, of parents and children, of relatives. Its permanent power and its final goal is love: without love a family is not a community of persons and in the same way, without love the family cannot live and perfect itself as a community of persons. Before it becomes a "community" it should be a "communion" first, a communion between husband and wife. It is a community of life founded on love and a community of love that nourishes life.

The family is also a "school of deeper humanity" because it is in it that we first learn and experience the basic values needed for the development and sustenance of society such as sharing, justice, honesty, compassion, respect for human dignity and rights of others, We first learn the meaning of justice and sharing at home the way our parents divided a "pineapple pie" for everybody.

The family is a "domestic church." Every Christian family has an altar at home where we kneel and pray before it for God's forgiveness, protection and providence. Before this altar we give thanks to God for our successes, birthdays and anniversaries. God is also worshipped at home.

WE RESPOND

Having heard about the present trends and future scenarios of family life and about the teachings of the Church regarding the family, we shall now identify some steps we are going to take as our Christian response to the situation.

First, adhere to the "constants and essentials" of family living which is LOVE AND LIFE. Change is inevitable. Many experts will redefine love and life and even offer new definition of a family and marriage. Whatever forms the family will take in the future, one thing is sure, it will always be a community of life and love. Its role as a school of deeper humanity is indispensable. Its true that work arrangements redefine family, but it is also equally true that family cannot exist without love for "Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate in it." (Redemptor Horminis, 10)

Second, Christian family development should be given priority in our evangelization programs. Even if we have evangelization programs and plan of actions in our parishes and ecclesial communities, if the family does not become their center, those plans will remain less effective. "The future of humanity and of the Church passes by way of the family."

Third, government agencies, NGOs and Church organizations should work hand in hand to protect and develop our human families against the evils of materialism, hedonism and consumerism. The best way to protect the family is to bring each member closer to God. It is a fact that children who are godly are easier to discipline than those who are not. In other words, when we bring family and our people closer to God by an authentic practice of religion, we help in the development of society. Christianity is not an obstacle to this development.

Fourth, in concrete, we should take care of our individual family, most especially our children, our sick and elderly and disabled. We should respect the dignity of each one, especially of women. We should uphold the divine purpose of our human sexuality and made use of this faculty responsibly. We should promote the "culture of life" and not the "culture of death."