Walla Walla, Washington

We Have a Lamer!
7/09/02

I guess someone didn't get the memo that we know we suck. So they thought they'd point out the obvious for us. Meet DingDong: after being stopped cold in his trolling tracks on Zophar's Message Domain, he thought he'd continue on my crappy board. Yeah, he's hit the big times. Flaming on a board that even I don't give a crap about. So here's to attention-starved lamers.

Help us choose a domain name!
5/18/02

Holy Crap! We Need Articles and We'll Take Anything.
5/9/02

I know who you are. If you don't write articles for me, I will come to your house and cut you.

Walla Walla College Takes Notice of Walla Walla Online
2/7/02

Well kind of. This site has come up in a few WWC Groupwise attachments. So let the revolution begin! Or something.

Local Teen Phone Hackers Go Online!
2/5/02

Well it seems that they'll give webpages to just about anyone these days and these guys are no exception. Hailing from our beautiful state of Washington, it's the 100MPH Club. Visit their site to see them doing random things at random times for random reasons. Read their f-rad text files. See underage teens flipping the bird! Fully endorsed by the Phone Losers of America as the official PLA wesite for Washington, I command you to visit the 100MPH Club as if nothing else really mattered!

Sears Wants to Own Your Soul
1/28/02

Do you remember a time when you could walk into a store, pay for your purchase, and leave feeling as if you hadn't just been violated by an extremely large cactus? Well kids, it seems those days are long gone. I recently went into the local Blue Mountain Mall Sears department store hoping to buy a screwdriver. A simple purchase really. I pay my $3.98 cash+tax and skip away into the afternoon, right? Wrong! Those mofos actually wanted (no kidding) my full name, home address, phone number, and social security number for my menial purchase! And to top it all off, they would have me sign a receipt which reads, "I agree under penalty of purjury, that the above information is correct". So concievably, one could prosecuted for legally purchasing a printer cable and saying their name is R0y Gerbil and they live in Botswana! It is not like these are even freaking credit card purchases or anything. I guess in case my four dollar bills turn up counterfeit, they can come bust my sorry ass!

I suggest that from now on when anyone shops at Sears they should answer these privacy invading queries with a resounding NO!

Whitman Boozehounds Busted
10/31/01

Five Whitman College students recently thought that it would be a great idea to break into the Woodward Canyon Winery and make off with an estimated $34,000 worth of alcohol. Unfortunately for them, they were arrested one month later when a search of their apartment turned up most of the missing wine. Maybe next time they should just use a fake id to get booze like everyone else does.

Visit the Walla Walla Online Message Board!

Come here to interact with other people on your community! Discuss the weather, talk politics, share recipes, or most likely look at how empty it is until people actually start visiting the site!

You Know You're From Walla Walla/ College Place If...

• You do your grocery shopping at the Express
• You count down the days until that damn Balloon Stampede thing
• Shari's is the nicest restaurant you've eaten at.
• The name George Bennet strikes more fear into your heart than do the entire area police forces combined
• You spend your Saturday nights at the College Place Wal-Mart.
• You drive an hour to Tri-Cities to experience a taste of the "big city"
• You actually get these jokes and send them to all your friends in Walla Walla.

Write For Us!

Do you have something to share with us? Would you like to respond to an article or even write your own? Then email me at ricardobaltazar@hotmail.com and I just may get back to you. Then again I'll probably just forward your email to my friends and we'll have a hearty laugh over it.

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It's exactly like Google in every way, except with our annoying banner at the top of the screen!

It's Like There's a Damn Circus in My Backyard!
6/26/02

I think it would only be fair to preface this article with a disclaimer: I hate clowns and clowns hang around circuses. Therefore in my world view, circuses are a plauge wrought on humanity that must be eliminated.

Imagine my shock when I woke up two mornings ago and there was a 4 story tall tent with flashing lights less than 100 yards from my house. At first I thought that maybe the local Adventists had taken a cue from the Native Americans and combined their camp meeting events with the joys of casino gambling. After thinking about it however, I realized that this was far too classy to be an Adventist religious event, it was a circus! It did have one thing in common with an Adventist event however... nobody came. That almost made me feel bad about debating at first whether or not to haul my hippie, protesting ass down the block to picket them for animal slavery. As it turned out, the only animals they had were ponies and I had to be to work in an hour anyway so that was a short-lived plan.

In case you are dying to know what the event was like, try getting a hold of one or two of the two people that actually attended. Maybe next time I do a write up I will go to the actual physical location where the event is taking place. Until then I will carry on my proud tradition of blindly ridiculing everything I see.

Balloon Stampede a Huge Disaster! (or so claims one local nut)
5/18/02

Actually, I really don't know much about what happened at the Ballon Stampede. I didn't attend. All I know is that I got stuck in traffic (this is Walla Walla mind you!) for about 15 minutes just trying to get out of Super 1. That and I saw police vehicles rushing frantically to one place or another about every two minutes. Plus if God had wanted us to fly, he would have given us wings. Therefore, you're all sinners for attending and will rot in hell for your heresy.

The Curtis saga hits the airwaves! Jeremy, the webmaster for Major Losers, was interviewed by the Russ Martin show on 105.3 KYNG in Dallas-Fort Worth, TX. The interview centered mainly around the Curtis Lee Jones situation. We will be trying to get a hold of a recording of the interview. Updates as events warrant.

Meet Curtis Lee Jones. Not to long ago he thought he was Mr. Bigshot superhacker/netstalker. He would use the identities of innocent women to pose as them and get strange men to harrass them for sexual favors. Well that just couldn't go on. No, not if RBCP had anything to say about it. RBCP, founder of the Phonelosers of America decided that something had to be done. He spread the info on Curtis and turned the tables on him in a sweet form of poetic justice. Now Curtis is the one recieving harassing phone calls day and night. He is now on his 4th phone number in one week. His claims of having a supercomputer tracing the calls go unheard. All he can do is curse and make threats of physical violence. He has become an even more hollow shell of a man than he ever was. All thanks to one man and a lot of bored teenagers with nothing better to do. Proof that vigilantism in the U.S. really does work.

It seems that some really cool lady-killer phone hacker who goes by the handle "The Boxer" from the United Phone Losers BBS, has organized a social enigineering contest. If I were you, I would enter right away in order to win some fabulous prizes! Here as follows is the official announcement:

Click here to go the Official Rules Page!
Click here to visit the contest thread to discuss!

If ever there was an embodiment of everything that is wrong with this country, Wal-Mart would be it. There have now been several occasions on which an employee assisting me has immediately afterward been reprimanded by their supervisor for doing so. Apparently they were supposed to be stacking boxes somewhere or something. The fact is that I'm lucky to get customer service in the first place. It seems that "stacking boxes" is a higher priority than assisting the consumer. If so, I'm glad to know that they have 30 employees taking care of that while I'm looking for a car fuse. Also at issue is the fact that the store is 90% percent crap and then maybe a few useful items. I mean who the hell needs a combination alarm clock/fan anyway? How about beef jerky in every concievable aisle in the store? It is a sad situation of quantity over quality. Wal-Mart has crap and they have a lot of it. Suffice it to say that I feel robbed of my soul when I enter that place. When are we going to get a Target?

Have any College Place Wal-Mart horror stories of your own? Feel free to contact us and tell us about it.

See the site from which we entirely ripped off all of our ideas! If you think we suck, blame it all on Alton Online and not on us!