WALKING IN GRACE

As the years pass by I realize just how blessed my life has been.  From the day of my birth until today I know that the life I lived will forever be engraved with good memories.  I owe a great deal of gratitude to the two wonderful people that GOD saw fit to place in my life,  that I knew as Daddy and Mama.  Let me give you a glimpse into some of the most precious memories I have of  Mama.

They say that everyone remembers  life at a different age,  some very early,  and others as they get older.  I really don't know how far back my memories go,  but I can tell you that I see clearly the old house where I grew up. I see the face of a smiling woman holding me in her arms.  I remember lacy dresses with itchy crinoline and white tights with  patenleather shoes. I remember white gloves and fancy hats. I remember so many of the times I spent in church.  Sometimes even now I close my eyes and see the faces of people I knew as a child,  although I can not remember them by name.   I remember Mama standing in our little kitchen looking out her window as food cooked on her stove.  Oh, the smell of food cooking filled the entire house with a welcoming aroma. On Sundays after church we would gather at our long wooden table with 8 chairs and family members would talk and laugh for hours. That to me is the best part of life...families who spent time together.  Daddy worked hard to keep food on our table  but it was  Mama's  hands  that cleaned, and canned, and cooked it.  She was a wonderful cook,,  and in her time cooking was a chore of love,  something you did special for your family.  Today EATING is all about feeding our body...but  when I was growing up EATING was all  about creating memories.  I remember so much about my Mama and when I need to feel close to her again I  close my eyes and I am that little girl,  lost in that almost perfect world..

I never thought I would ever leave that little country home,  but life has a way of stepping in and turning our world upside down.  When I became a Mom,  I was told by my Mama,  that I was to follow the dreams of my husband.  To go where he asked me too.  I left that little home and moved far away.  I know that broke my Mama's heart. I live with that choice in life everyday. I will remember the few times I got to go home to see her in the 12 years away.  I remember how her eyes would fill with tears and how that small feeble hand would barely slip out that front door to bid us farewell.  I remember the breaking of my heart each time I would say good-bye,  wondering if I would ever get to see her again,  and if she would ever get to see her "baby girl" (No not me,  but this grandchild she loved so much).  I took away the one thing that would have filled her life with so much joy...but I did so out of love for my husband and that little girl.  Mama passed away in January of 2006.  I had made a trip up to see her a few months before, she was in a nursing home.  My heart was breaking.  I could not make it back home for the funeral,  but now I know just how much GOD loved me.  I remember Mama as her face lit up as I rounded the corner of her room. I remember that hug and that kiss I placed upon her cheek.  I remember the sparkle in her eyes as that  "Baby girl " came into that room. Spending time with Mama was the most precious  gift to me.  I left that room on the day I was to come back home, knowing that I might never see her again alive in this world,  but still hoping she would live forever...because I never wanted to let her go. I never told her good-by because I could not bear to see her cry,  we left her just as we had found her.  ALL smiles and Happy to see us.  Those are the memories God gave me of my Mama,  those are the memories that I now cherish.

  I WILL REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS MAMA...AND ALWAYS WITH GREAT LOVE.