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Recently I was invited to Azhar Mahfof and Yulia’s wedding
so I thought I’ll give you a peek into what happens in a typical
Malay wedding. Azhar Mahfof is a photographer from The Star.

On Sunday November 4, 2007, the couple were married.
The marriage treated the groom and the bride as king
and queen for the day.

Usually in Malay weddings, they will hold two receptions;
one at the bride’s house and another one at the groom’s side.
As this was the bride’s turn to have the reception, a whole
group of us from Star Photo went to support him. It is quite
difficult to find the bride’s house at Kampong Kerdas, Gombak Selangor.

Long tables were set up under the tents in front of the house for the wedding
guests to sit and eat. The little pot which you can see on most of the tables,
it contains water so you can wash your hands before you eat your food.
There were fork and spoon for the non malay guests too.

Marriage is a contract, and the akad nikah effectively forges the union.
The akad nikah ceremony is in effect a verbal contract between the bride’s
father or his representative (in this case the kadhi) and the groom.
The dialogue must be articulated clearly as to be heard by three witnesses

 
The simplicity of this ritual belies the tremendous responsibilities of the groom
to care for his bride, and this is reinforced in a brief lecture on marriage and
its responsibilities delivered later by the kadhi. The groom is also reminded that,
should he fail to provide both spiritual and physical sustenance for his wife,
the marriage may be dissolved if a complaint is made to the Syariat Court.

One needs to distinguish the mas kahwin and the hantaran (dowry). The small
sum of the mas kahwin is to ensure that even poor people could marry, for
marriage is encouraged for all healthy Muslims. The hantaran, on the other
hand, is more customary and may go into thousands of dollars. Often,
the hantaran takes the form of both cash and jewelry or clothing.

The istiadat hantar belanja (sending of dowry and gifts) and upacara akad
nikah (solemnization) often take place at the bride’s place. The recent trend,
though, is to hold the solemnization in the mosque as was performed during
the Prophet Muhammad’s (saws) time. The solemnization is usually conducted
by the kadhi (marriage official) in front of witnesses after both partners are
asked separately if they consent to the marriage. Gifts are then exchanged
and there may be a recitation of the Quran.

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