i am counting on you lot

p.s i am not a teeny weeny tiny little bit proud they deemed us exciting enough to attack, nope. not at all.

NEW FONTS?????? WHATEVER NEXT?

hello hello, wie gehts it? i am goot, because i just had a lovely shift at my very dearest hut, with all the coolios working. we had a very good time embarrassing mark, but i wont to too far into that for fear of making you blush jen. poor, dearest, big jen hit her head on the hatch (my mum was appalled - ''can you not pad it polly?'') so lets hope she is ok.

i went to the opticians today, and was served by this lovely jubbly man, he was such a sweetie, and his female counterpart was also amazing. had i been a secret shopper at Dollond & Aitchison, then they would have got 100%, well done.

how are all you little lawbreakers? this has to be quick message because i am baking, and then shooting off to the one, the only, pizza hut. love it. i had a coolio experience with all my hut pal on wednesday, as hannah my dear dear love, is leaving. she is off to africa, which although being very coolio of her, it is very sad for us at the hut. anyways we went out to prezzo on westover road, food; delicious, service; poor. interestingly we had a fake waiter called ''ivan'' who pretended to be italian (or at least to have a very strong accent) but then directed me to the loo in perfect english intonation. mmm hhmmm.

i am really dearly loving el sopranos at the momo, it is just so singularly cool and coolio (or tuf and tough, as SE hinton would say) and it really makes me just love the mafia to the max, obvoiusly good effect.

i have read the update on the riveter, and frankly, pip, announcing the end of a website is hardly ablimmin update! gerra life pip and continue the virtual love

ooh must rush

goobye pitstop

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1. SOPHIE the coolio has done a man for the man page, be there or be square (p.s. can some coolio please help me with my hyperlinks? i can only get them when i type out the full adress at the mo, v annoying)
2. i need some feedback to see how i can make v4m better, can you tell me what you like, what you dont, if there are any bits of the site you have trouble accessing because i try to vary what form i put the pics on so let me know which are speedy and which arent. also any suggestions, or contributions

merci, got to rush, sopranos! (blimmin AMAZON sent us the wrong series first time round and we needed to exchange. ha! exposed you now AMAZON)

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in fact, the person who wrote the filth sounds like a bit of a pinko if you ask me

plus, would a commnunist have updated the MAN PAGE and the PICS OF THE WORLD? nein is the answer, franklement.

ha! up yours you stalinist

bonjourno to everyone else

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this feels pretty darn good, as all i hafve left to do is general studies! maths was poop in mathematical form, english was alritish, politics was alright (im hoping my peter pulzer quote aced them) and physics wasnt too bad at all. its all over now, on wards and upwards to new syllabuses, and new stress. i am currently listening to this amAYzing song, with the lyric "you can be at the party gettin' loose/ but you can catch a bullet in your goose". as you can probs tell, i rule. i yesterday introduced my mum to my big p.i.m.p. cordless headphones, so she could listen to rad4 when making supper, and she has fallen equally in love with them, wise woman.

laydees.

we are about to do ''a woman of no importance'' in english, and as a consequence we are watching the film of oscar wildes life, 'wilde'. im sorry but didnt everyone guess he was gay, when his wife said ''what sheall i wear today?'' and instead of replying ''a short skirt'' or ''you always look lovely darling'' (my idea of a typico response) he answers along the lines of ''those charming cinnamon trousers, coupled with that delightful ash grey shirt''? or when his wife tells him she is pregnant, minstead of making a comment about his virility, he answered ''we shall have to buy you a who new WARDROBE'' before giving her a hug. im sorry but he was mega gay, he even wore an oliver cromwell stylee hat. gaygaygay.

laydees.

i havent heard any news about jennys show, but i would wager my headphones on the assurance it was amazing, esp the silver wig.

today, me and my dear mutti are having a soprano double bill night as we have bought series 3 on dvd, (series one and two are already parts of our collection) and i must really reccommend the whole series to you, it truly smuly rules the world.

thought youd like to know that. anyways my last nugget of news is that i may be joining a pilates class. what is pilates? any news?

thank you to the max to felix, i may just have to buy those cards, but i hope you wont be offnded if i delete a few of your entries.

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getcha hands up

how is it hanging for all you? why is everyone neglecting the guestbook? i had some good fun today.....as it will be my last for a while because next week, the dreaded exams start! i made a really nice pasta sauce today, it was a personal best. sophie and i went to castlepoint in our free which was fun fun, i bought a new school bag, it is unfortunatelty a bit mini in an attempt to stop me carrying so many books tho it is a lovely lovely shade of green.

i was thinking today how izzy used to have these amzing gordons gin playing cards, that instead of hearts, spades, diamonds and clubs, had lemons, limes, bubbles and ice cubes in the shape of the 4 original suits. how cool is that? the answer is very. now the nub of my point is, does anyone know where i can procure a pack? i dont think iz has got hers anymore. hm......

we have a training sesh at the dear dear hut tomo, i dont know whats going to go down, mnaybe we will get a lesson on selling a sicilian (someone pop in and have 1 godam).

jenny has a dancing show tomorrow which i cannot attend because i am working but a massive GOOD LUCK to her, and im sure she will rule.

i have to go and do some room rearranging now but i will see you all soon

wish me luck in les examens

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P.S A MASSIVE WELLL DONE TO IZZY, WHO HAS ROCKED THE BOAT IN TH MOCKS.

hope all is well down your way, i am feeling a tad hypero. nonetheless i am determined to finish this para because i keep starting off geniei paras then forgetting to end. all is good in my worldo i worked for blimmin hours at the hut today..... but it was vair fun fun as per. for those who know/care micheal gave me a champs, (this is good to the max). i am really loving the hut, but as well all know i am known to be a bit of a hut lover, its just so cool. sicilian launched today, we sold....none. i tried to sell it to this couple but they looked frankly scared by my enthusiasm, and as alice pointed out, they probably thought i was on comission. oh no my pretties only the commssion of love for the hut.

humoruously i said the words ''gay sex'' in the hut the other day (thwe context isnt very interesting so ill leave it out) and it provoked the most humourous response ever. simultaneously jenny, mark, hannah and everyone else in the bar area ducked as if a low flying fighter plane was going to clip them and went ''shhhhhhhhh this is a FAMILY restaurant!''.  haha.

i am also having some love for georgie and nadiney who are in austria at the mo, i am missing them to the absolute maximum, and cant wait to see them. a massive bonsoir to them if they are reading this, tho it is abit doubt ful.

in the last news item i founfout the identity of clownfish...and im not telling!! hee hee. coem back clowny...we miss you

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liebee

p.s. hope you all had a good new year, leave any humourous anecdotes on the guestbook

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my god its good to be back after the long cold silence in bonnie schottland. for one, i couldnt get post, and for another their computer underlined spelling mistakes even out of word! what the hell? police state!

anyways outher than that xmas was mucho good. me and izzy made a trifle which was the crowning glory of the world, and uncle harry made about a zillion speeches, all of which were amazing. on boxing day it was mega mega mega nippy noodles, despite the fact i went in 5 layers, but i warmed up when my brother gave me one of his, bringing me up to 6, and him down to two - very noble felix. many of the layers came off when we played some traditional family football - ie mucho dirty fouls (james!). then iz and i made a pilgrimage to go see what we thought was a dead seal but turned out to be a log, score. xmas dinner was lovely, amazing, i have never seen such a big turkey (we had like 25 ppl so it had to be big) and the stuffing was to die for. there was a moment of anxiety when daisys  (baby cousin - 18 mnths) chair fell of the table (it was like clipped on) and everyone swore simultaneously but she was unhurt and we were mucho relieved, see some cutey pics of her at www.daisydunkeld.com. she is a pretty cool baby with her own blog. i got some truly amazing presents which i wont list here, but they are freaking amazing and i send out here a big thank you to everyone at xmas.

other news includes me getting a webcam! mucho excitamondo. the person who is witnessing most of my webcam moments so far is sophie r (theres ur mention soph). unfortunately i forget im n webcam and was doing a gross eating of a tangerine when i remembered - which was mega cool i must say.

in other other news, we broke the buffet record today at the hut! it was pretty hectic with a continuous stream of people for ages so im not suprised.

right i must rush because im working in.............12 hours and 11 minutes and i need to spend SOME of those revising (im a scandal). but hidey ho much lve and speak soon.

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p.s. m sorry about eddys spaz on the guestbook, hopefull its pretty much normal now xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

well, i did just spend feckin AGES writing you guys an amzing huge input but then the blimmin computer chose to close it at a totally random way which is bloody annoying. i shall try and replicate but there is only one. one and one only.

grr cant remember what i wrote.

one item was that today i found a really cool mini tape measure supplied to me by HULL CITY COUNCIL and it is amzing because they supplied to me through the tory party conference. what i wonder is is why do councils 'adverise?' surely noone can say, i am choosing not to have a council? therefore there is little/no point in the gol-darn advertising innit? anyone with an alternative reason please contact vaselineformen@hotmail.com

other news includes that i am spazzing out because i am waitressing on sunday and i am hoping to be amazing. this is unfortunately unlikely and i am so nervous (yes, nervous, 2 days in advance) that i will probs drop a double mozarella stuffed crust on some small child, which i am dreading because those pizzas are blimmin huage. think of me between the hours of 5pm and 10.30pm on sunday guys.

i am overjoyed because i bought a really gorgeous mug in borders and wrapped it up so if someone waltzed up and gave me a pressie that i wasnt expecting, i could give them the mug.....geniei i know. anyways the point is that this did not occur so now i have the most gorgeous mug ever for me! woop woo.

i had a mega mega smeg of a dancefest at sophie Ls earlier, it was amazing (thats my excersise for the month done) although we skipped through about a gazillion songs in an hour because we did mad dancing to like the first 40 seconds before someone would change it, it was the bestoela. (before any keen mathso tells me, i am quite aware that there are only ninety 40 second bursts in an hour) although we did listen to an amazing cowboy stylee song which i dont know the name of - can someone who was present at the time please help me out here.

ooh also, i have followed an amazing path of learning. my new mentor, ali B, has taught me how to mould a beret, march, and salute. i rock the socks at all of them except my pinkie sticks out when i salute and in my role as headhunter i am trying to recruit her to the hut. following ali Ns perfect example i am gna get myself some mofo posture for once in my life, instead of being a constant slouchy mc slouch.

in the last item, my mother humourously pointed out a shirt in a shop the other day and went 'thats a nice mofo' which made me laugh  for about a year, enjoy.

right now i am going to go to bed and sleep WITHOUT AN ALARM SET hell yeah im going to try and rid myself of these perpetual bags and gna sleep for a month.

liebe

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howsit going men? im cool, as per. we at the hut had a team meeting earlier where we sampled the new sicilian pizza! it is like a grand pan, but it has "herbs" in the base (these transpire to be basil oregano and garlic - noone listened when i pointed out garlic wasnt a herb). its megaly garlicky. to the max. i am currently on the american pizza hut website, which is cracking me up. apparently adverts for both 'the big new yorker' and the 'stuffed crust' pizza both had adverts featuring donald trump - why him? one queries. it also has such humourous quotations as "it's a crust that everyone in the family can agree on". (this is in the hutseum section of the site - hutseum - i ask you)

now, in the next item i was glad to see love for mrs Xs column, i think we should push her into doing more and all you guys should join in. be your passion, music, pizza hut, eel fishing, wigs or anything, just write a bit about why you love it and send it to vaselineformen@hotmail.com . we might have an award in a few months time for the best column........

anyways must rush, im gna go and do a tad of xmas shopping boefore work

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everyone buy a sicilian

i had a megaly wegaly madly busy weekend that went like this.

leave school friday 12.30. go to town, drop off bags, go shopping, shop till i well and truly drop(3 tops, pair shoes, earrings, bag, xmas cards, revision stuf......) . go to work at 6, work till 11.30, come home, organise clothes go to bed at 2am. wake up 7.00am on saturday, go to mock trial, jure like a madgirl, jure a bit more. come back to bomo, arrive back at bsg, go to sophies, eat food, have megaly cool partay and have mucho fun. go home, go to bed, get up sunday, go to be trained, get trained (what i dont know about the history of pizza hut seriously aint worth knowing....tho interestingly they never told us the surname of the brothers who stared pizza hut) come back, spaz out at mega amount of work, do mega hwk, COLLAPSE.

it was manic, and it was also the reason that

A. im spazzing at my maths mock and the lack of work ive done for it

B. the fact i keep neglecting you like a horrid person

maybe you will forgive me if i come back after the AS levels......maybe not. ill have a thinko but my head is so full of useless info like differentiation and the formula for KE that i have nothing interessante to say

i am a mollusc.

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p.s

im sorry about the long silence, ive recovered mostly from my Big Bad Mood tho i am still a bit of a moodster (as those present today at lunch well know - sorry guys) but am less of a heathcliffe than i was. it was student review day yesterday , which was good good as per ( when i say good i mean i completely overslept, missed my interview and had to be squeezed in later) but my most good-mood inducing thang was that i went to the ocean palace last night with gazza and my vati and i ate so so much i have given up all hopes of a sophie anderton stylee flat stomach.

in some amazing (might i also add - cool) news, i am going to be library girl from febuary onwards (ok so maybe not 'cool') which is pretty flipping good and i  look forward to it with gusto. i am slightly affronted by the lack of guesbook love going on but i understand i was being a bit shytey so i didnt expect much love.  something i have long since realised is that the number of times i check the GB for new entries is inversely proportional to the number of people signing it, therefore its better if i just leave it to its own devices nevertheless i can never resist.

i am intrigued to see the film rainman after listening mucho to the song of the same name - so anyone who knows whether its any good should let me know

still missin' you clowny

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x (dx/dy)

although this actually feels quite apt at the moment.

to add to my rage, vaselineformen has been blocked at bsg. how outrageous is that? very. i think it may be due to the 'mango chutney comment' (now edited) which wasnt even my remark was it? blimmin filter. that entry will now be known as mangochutneygate.

furthermore, martini has been discovered telling claire he thrashed us in the debate when i think he should find Ms H VOTED FOR US. no hard feelings.

im sorry to be such a downer, i kept waiting for my anger to lift, but frankly it didnt look like it ever would so i thought i might as well just be a moody dudey

although, big jen dont fear i promise not to come to work in a bad mood (would i ever?) as pizza hut will soothe my soul (hmpf)

x x x x x x x x x x

(bit of a lack of kisses there, sorry)

i personally didnt know people could get this cool......

off for a ramble? sophie also gave me a tip off about a pic of some people dressed as eyeballs which i have found and love!

black mitsubishi!

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hows it going guys? i am cooled-out by the abundance of mad lyrics on the guestbook. they rule, but i am intrigued: are they all by the same person or is it an orgy of communal madness? i did for a second wonder if the maddo was big jen as i know she has a penchant for early westlife. only early, mind.

speaking of big jen, she said she'd be dropping in on monday and i should give her a mention, so ive gone one step better and found something i know she will truly sruly appreciate!

happy easter! also, p.s jen - work next sat night shift!

i am currently listening to ....wait for it .... sinead o connor! i am cool, but i found it on my comp and cant remember downloading it so i thought id have a listen (humourously, if i didnt dwnload it, the only other person possible is my dear bro, felix have u got something to tell me?) (i can eat my dinner in a fancy rest...)

euuurch i am not loking forward to this week.........i seem to have week one timetabled as easy cheese with lot of frees (try saying that fast) and one week where i am inundated with work in a madcap fashion where i s-p-a-z out and get to bed at like 1.30 every morning. its pretty bad but i hope this week will be not too bad. of course, the january exams are looming in a an unnatracctive fashion......

i hope you have all entered the 'feem toon' competition? sophie and i entered in an overly humourous fashion with the amzing entry of:

i am John Major/ i am a tall grey man (doot dee doo)/ i done Edwina Currie (doot dee doo)/ i'm a total tory/ i got PM through MP (doot dee doo)

im not sure about the i'm a totaly tory line but it was something along those lines, and i think youll agree this is total geniei. thank you. my fave of Ps suggestions was "I am Margaret Thatcher, I'm possibly a man (doot dee doo)/ I done snatched some milk (doot dee doo)/ Socialists beware/ I have got permed hair (doot dee doo)" but winnie C came a close close second.

anyways im off to beat my dear vati at pool, root for me baby

i hope you enjoyed the update, especially miss parrot

not in the religious sense

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how lucky are you guys? 3 updates in 2 days? while i could say 1.5 updates per day, mr sutty has told me 'polly, at A level we dont have decimals, and we dont even really have fractions, only top heavy fractions.' this is a bit bloody cumbersome because in the back of the book the answers are not top heavy, so i have to convert them back to check im right.

sorry, back to reality.or rather, not. all is goot today, i had a humor-filled day as Ruby has been to the doggy-hairdressers, and she looks amazing (apart from where the razor slipped just above her eyebrow resulting in a bald-spot) and other mucho hilariose ness

something that is megaly mucholy frustrating me right this second is GTA:SA. i have so so so much work i just never get time to play it and i am falling behind all my contempoaraies. its vair vair annoyingo. on a less spazzy note, i am having majorly mega love for puke by eminem it rules the worldo despite the fact that the puke sounds make me feel a little queasy.

anyways must rush, the indian just arrived and my dad just said very loudly "we havent got any effing mango chutney" oh what a lovely meal is in store

liebe

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p.s. check out the rogue page

howsit going? im feeling pretty darn pleased with myself because finaleeeeee i have gorn and done pelle on the man page! i could find slightly less than buggger all about the pellster but there are some shite hot links. speaking of, i hope you are all visiting www.theriveter.tk (yes she got a TK!) the parade is an act of truly freakish genius. ( see how i did that in their signature script? i really do rule)

anwyas not much is going down - ooh yeah  remember, all of u supporters should be rooting for me and sophie on monday when we take on mart'n O and anna in a debate (this house believes we should keep the current plurality system). mucho excitement.

in other news, rufus the hamster and jimmy the fish are cool but the ruby the dog ate jimmy the fishes food, so sophie the amazing had to do some lending. merci beaucoup to the max to sophie. also, i just read SUCH a coolio book, it was called the little white car by danuta de rhodes i think. sophie would you like to do some guest columing here? and review it like? send me if u want

you payin' attention boy?

whats next? who knows? not me

a new comp huh?

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love love LOVE

how are all of you my little chipmunks? im feeling quite suprisingly cheery for no reason. i had a coolio weekend, which included schoolwork and pizza hut work. a hugely hilariose moment occured when a female customer asked if jenny was single. it was humourous in the extreme, especially when jenny then refused to go and clear their plates as she was scared of the lesbian love. there was also comic relief in the form of blinky, our fave customer (dont even ask).

anyways not much else is happening, i was going to update el manno but frankly i couldnt be bummed. there is a posotive (sic, RS wall) queue of people willing to nominate or indeed appear on the man page themselves, but ive got loadsa pics but i just cant get any facts - please send any suggestions for facts to vaselineformen@hotmail.com - dont put em on the guestbook otherwise therell be no suprise)

pig balls (those handmaiders among us will know the true meaning here)

rainman

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all ist goot in meine world because:

1. it is nearly the weekend
2. i have done my massive pile of hwk that i have been spazzing about and now i only have several more piles and the approaching exams (this is good, for what i usually have)
3. right at this second i dont have any english essays to do but i will get another one tomo probs so that aint so great
4. many many suggestions have come in for the man page, including: tom de longe, pelle, and many more
5. i met a humourous american today who told my dog she could 'run on his property - anytime'
6. pippas guestbook entry (actually all the guestbook entries) made me laugh for about 20 years.

dear big jen sorry about the big cat/ big jen confusion i did wonder why you chose that particular pseudonym. i hope the painting was ok....sophie said your leg popped out of place!? i tried the IQ test nut it wasnt a web address, so i dont know my IQ, probably about 12.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T MY DEAR COUSIN IZZY, and good luck in her geography cswk, she has only got to finish her evaluation and it has to be in on monday, how well flipping organised is that? very i tell you. very.

i am currently listening to a song from my dear dionysus i think its by jimi hendrix. thought youd like to know.

amore

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p.s. the man page will be updated this weekend fo sho

p.p.s christina page is updateod with some political xtina love

its gna have to a quicky as differentiation awaits (can you believe ive forgotten half my indices? christ) anways my heart was warmed and my eyebrows were a-twitched by the amount of guestbook love going on. unfortunately mr Dionysus was cut short by the silly guestbook im sure he will impart his knowledge again at some point. mr hen (sean, this is your new name) was also featured on the guestbook but i doubt he is reading this as i think he read as far as quoth "the first paragraph". other appearances were made by Big Jen (aka big cat, p.s. how did the painting go?) and sophie (glad you love the xtina page) and someone asked for a man page update which i would be happy to provide. can anyone think of any men worthy of this amazing status, ie superstud man page man? please let me know at vaselineformen@hotmail.com

in other humour, mr sut spazzed out and dropped his board pen with a huge smack against the board and us being mature yr 12s we laughed for about 10 years (well i did). another humourous moment when charlie witheringly called the core maths book a 'big gay' for giving her a hard question. it has been a pretty humourous day all round. i must let you know i have a new addition to my menagerie, as gemma from work is going away to a tropical clime to get married, and i am looking after her hamster (rufus, sorry he isnt called jimmy soph) and her fish (we called him jimmy in honour of you), they rule the world and lets hope none of my more permenant menagerie eat them. no joke. rufus is a serious contender for the fat pets thang and i shall take a pic of him and post it asap, he is mega. jimmyon the other hand is miniscule, despite having eaten two of his tankmates. maybe i shall post a pic of them together, perhaps having an emotional moment.

amare, amore, ababoon

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hope all is well and there are no ailments going down. a HUAGE (birmingham accent compulsory there) well done to NADINE who won our mini comp, she is a true blue and i am mucho proud of her.

nothing very interesting for you lot has been going on at the momentoe, im going to be in the mock trial at school, i got a c.h.a.m.p.s. sticker at work (i thought i was going to faint with pride) and lots of other similar things, but they arent exactly riveting to you, my dear readers. it saddens me to think this but i have no idea where clowny is... there is some mega missing going on here so if you are there clowny, show yourself.

i have a little poetry for you, penned by an anonymous source, but i cant put it on right now because i cant remeber it exactly and it needs to be word perfect for best effect. if that person (you know who you are) could email me it i would be mucho grateful (lets just say its about the trauma of moving house.  

ooh wait there is something, pippa sent me some humourous pictures of fat animals,

merci beaucoup snoults

sister site: www.freewebs.com/theriveter

(get your stuff together and get yourself a tk pippa)

love love love

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p.s. some christina love on the appropriate page

p.p.s hope your reading this jenny

i have a treat for you today. as i was casually looking on the internet i found this picture and i am willing to offer a prize of a lot of glory and a gmail email account (optional) to the first person to name this rap personality. gmail is the email accounts set up by google, and they rule but i dont think you can get one without being given one and being pB i have the connections (thanks uncle stu) to be able to give one away.

to anyone who knows this mans identity-- is it me or does he look nothing like one would expect?

anyways in a total comedy duo i am infact wearing a hat just like this mystery mans, only black right at this second -- a la malcom mc dowell in - you got it - a clockwork orange.

tho obviously i weari it in a less psycho, more femenine, less mad way. althoug i am also wearing giant headphones over the top, which may detract from the sanity of my look. hmmm.

anyways i better scoot - maths, physics and politics all need to be done for tomorrow (how can this be poss when i only have 2 lessons tomo?)

seeyas mush

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all hands on deck

hows it all going down this way? my heart was warmed to its cockles by all the replies on the guestbook, keep em rolling in. i shall also reinstate my advertsing campaign around and about, and if anyone has any ideas, please pass em on.

i think i shall go for a links page, i hope you have all visited www.freewebs.com/theriveter. on a similar subjectoe, a huge get wellen soonen to pippsky, as she was much misssed in politics today (as was the bearded preuvian one). also, i must mention the legend of big roberts, a large gay texan, who wore a lilac stetson and whom, if you want to find out more about, you just have to let me know on the guestbook and ill post the story.

i better rush, im trying to find a humourous thing online to post, but it is crashing the comp, i better go before i lose it all. sorry izzy i'm talking to you on msn and im not replying because im frozen on this screen. thanks compy.

edu-cation

p.s. has anyone seen the new eminem vid? what do you think? i think he looks like they have drawn his bum too big. let me know asap, seeing as itll be out of date by tomo

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hows it going down in la ville de singe? hopw it is all going well, i had an amazingly fun day wrestling with quadratic inequalities, my most favouristest thing in all of gods sweet creation. not.

on a more cheery, less maudlin not, one of my true, unsarcastically most favouritest things in gods sweet creation is the old man my dear mother and i saw whilst she was driving me to work yesterday. her words at the time were 'oh no, i have just seen something rather unpleasant to my left', of course i swung round, and there was an old man in extremely short shorts. you know the kind of  80s running shorts which are obscenely short in the first place, but then go up at the sides, well he was wearing those. need i say that they were turquoise. anyways the point of this was that he was making the darn effort. he had dug out his old shorts and his plimpsolls (i just checked that spelling on google, and can i ask if anyone else though, up until now that they were called 'plimsolls'?) and he was getting in shape. god speed that man to fitness.  (quoth pippa: what speed is god speed?)

humorously, gemma at work thought, up until yesterday that v4m was actually dedicated to vaseline pure and simple. this leads me to my next question, who thinks that maybe the application on aloe vera into vaseline has maybe detracted slightly from its amazing properties? my lips are usually smoother when i use the gen-u-ine article? i welcome all comments.

i tried to find some more outsized animal pictures, but unfortunately they were all either obscene or obviously fake. if anyone has more luck tha me, please send em to polly@vaselineforemen.tk or vaselineformen@hotmail.com.

i end with another query. i am thinking of cleaning out the old competitions and eith a) launching a new compy or b) making a links page  with amazingo links such as www.freewebs.com/theriveter and a small blurb about the above. please let me know what you guys would prefer (ill do both eventually i just wanna know which should be prioritised.)

also, i offer a hand of sisterhood to the above mentioned riveter? maybe we should do like bomo and lucerne and twinit?

let me know

amore

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this coolio pic was sent to me by my dearest cousin izzy, who also made the point: how do we know the cat is big? it may just be a very small woman,  no? in any case, its a pretty darn out of proportion picture. please send and weird animal pics to vaselineformen@hotmail.com (as you prob know, we aint .tk any more... im workin on it) and as long as they arent too obcene you will get your name in print (if you want) a la christopher molitisanti, no?

now i know strictly speaking this should be on pics of the world, but i thought it may get neglected on there so its here until further notice.

guess what today is? historic, amazing, yes the release of grand theft auto san andreas! please restrain yourselves. i have only played about an hour so far but it is absolutely fantabuloso. its really strange because now, the chracter you play, carl johnson, is black. (see http://www.rockstargames.com/sanandreas/ to be amazed) and while this is so cool i've practically shut down my internal organs, its a big contrast to how it has been in th past when the lead chraracter has always had strong mafia ties. now, while carl does have his 'homies' its a different kind of feeling. the aforementioned homies are annoyed with CJ for leaving the hood so you get less of a feeling of backup compared to theother games. maybe this will change as i play further into the game.

anyways more to come on GTA:SA. in other news, i was trained at the hut this morning (yes i have been working there for four months already) and there was lots of interesting things on what to do if you answer the phone with 'hello, pizza hut westover road, polly speaking, can i help?' and they inform you that they have planted a bomb. i would love to tell you lot what im meant to do, but unfortunately i have signed the 'official pizza hut secrets act'

and now, an apology. back in may i made an awful acuusation. i accused mr bean of driving an illegal car, but now i hang my head in shame. i was informed by a source yesterday that in canada. a couple of years ago, a law was passed which said that it was not compulsory for cars to have a front numberplate. this means the mr. bean was well within canadian law. i apologise wholeheartedly to any mr bean fans hurt by my comments in may and my only defense is that i was not in full knowledge of laws arond the world at the time.

any gta:sa players please let me know what you think on the guestbook

(apparently you can get jetpacks)

love love love

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spazzing out.

grr. i was updating ole vaso when i was called away on an urgent english essay so i closed the window but DIDNT PRESS UPDATE. so, what does el crappola (aka my comp) do? it updates

when i wasnt darn well finished. this wasnt the site makeover i wanted! i hate the horrible grey twirly bit.

ok no biggie. i revived my love for the vas after i unfortunately let slip to 'big jen' at work last night about the wonders and wimbles of vaselineformen. so i thought i  better come on and check out what madness i was exposing the poor woman to. then, a tear came to my eye and i realised i neve should have left. i think it was the true true trauma of reading which did it. but here i am.

anyways, i think i should kick off my return with a tribute. a tribute to JOHN PEEL who dies on monday of a heart attack while in peru with his wofe sheila. he was an amazing man who i will truly miss. my heart goes out to sheila and i personally think he should be knighted. (query: can they give people knighthoods after they are dead?)

speaking of, after reading my form room walls , i feel the need to draw my humble readers attention to the lack of saintness recieved by mother teresa. she has only one miracle, and to become a saint you need two, crappola or what? if anyone else is also outraged by this, please let me know.

anyways i better go, ill be back tomo

adieu mein liebchens

p.s. a massivo merci to the aforementioned jenny for the maple syrup, it is divine, and i shall be creating some canadian stylee pancakes tomo

pipip got to go to work (the hut)