Mark and Tammy's Excellent Adventure

Mark and I met in June 1996. We were both working at a gas station, Mark as a second job and me as I was going to college. I’ll never forget the first night we worked together. Neither one of us were talking to each other. Finally, Mark looked at me and said “You’re even quieter than I am”. I looked back at him and asked “Well, what do you want to talk about?”. I think I caught him off guard as he just shrugged and we were both quiet again. Later that night someone drove off without paying for their gas. I was working in the back room when all of a sudden, I heard Mark yelling, “They drove off without paying!” and was very upset. I remember thinking it was pretty cool that he was so worried about the drive-off, but thought he was kind of a dork, too, because he made such a big deal out of it. We still talk about that drive-off and our first time we ever met.

            It took a long time before Mark and I became friends. He was just another co-worker for a long time. I’m not sure when we really became friends but we started talking more and doing more together. Mark was 17 years older than me, but he didn’t look like it and didn’t act like it. We got along great. At first I never even considered that one day we would be dating much less getting married. I mean, he was “old”, you know?

            We started hanging out a lot—almost every night. A couple other co-workers and I would go over to his house and play video games. That was our thing. Mark became my best friend and I knew we would be friends for life. I remember telling him that I wanted him there at my wedding and I wanted him at the hospital to hold my first baby. How ironic is that? There were so many times I thought about dating him but I knew if we broke up we wouldn’t be as good of friends and I didn’t want to lose our friendship.

            During the time we were friends, I knew about Mark’s health issues with his diabetes, but it never bothered me. There was a lot of diabetes in my family, so I grew up with it and didn’t really know any different. I think in some ways, I was more drawn to Mark because of it.

            Our first date wasn’t really even planned. My whole family had gone away to visit my brother. I had to stay home because I had to work. I was so down about it. Mark was determined to make me feel better and took me out to a fancy restaurant to eat and then we went back to his house to watch “Erin Brockovich”. That was the night our friendship went a step further and changed our lives forever. That was in September 2000.

Mark and I got engaged the Friday after Thanksgiving 2000. At that time, Mark was feeling pretty good. We knew that his kidneys were failing and that he would need a transplant, but he was still working and still feeling pretty good. I had always wanted a Christmas wedding (because I'm such a Christmas freak :)), so not long after we got engaged, we set a date for December 1, 2001.

In February 2001, Mark started getting sick really fast. He could hardly get out of bed. He stopped working and went on disability. They didn't want to start dialysis and wait for the transplant because they thought it would be easier on his body. Well, in March, it started getting so bad that we made the decision to start dialysis. During this time, it was very stressful for me and hard. I was an emotional wreck.

At the end of March, I had gone out to eat with my parents just for fun and to get out of the house. Mark wasn't feeling good, so he stayed home. At the end of the meal, we had the usual fighting over the bill. For some reason, it really struck a nerve and I just started bawling...right there in the middle of the restaurant. My parents asked what was wrong and I honestly didn't know. At that point, my mom started crying and both my mom and dad started telling me about how worried they were about me and how I was going through so much. I was 24 at the time. At that point, I realized I was scared that Mark wasn't going to be healthy enough to get married in December, that he might not make it and that we didn't know when the transplant would be. Plus, financially I knew it was a problem for Mark because he only had his insurance.

My parents then asked why we were waiting until December. I didn't know....guess we were just waiting. My parents then suggested getting married as soon as possible when we knew Mark was "okay" and then financially, things would be less stressful during the year because Mark would have his insurance coverage and my coverage also. We thought it was a great idea and set a date for May 5, 2001. Both families were 100% behind us and thought it was great. I mentioned to our families that I was a little disappointed as I've always wanted a Christmas wedding, but as long as I was marrying Mark, any time would be okay. They immediately said they were going to give me a Christmas wedding....who cared if it was in May? Our families worked soooo hard for us and I still get tears in my eyes thinking how much they did for us to put a Christmas wedding together in 6 weeks.

What's interesting is that I had talked to my pastor in the church where I grew up in about our plans. He was not for it. He said we were getting married for the wrong reasons. He agreed to meet with us for counseling but said Mark had a lot of baggage we had to work through (he's been divorced). That upset me....what happened to not judging people? So, we found another a pastor who would marry us who knew me from my childhood days. When I told him Mark had been divorced, he simply said that it says in the Bible that divorce is wrong, but everyone makes mistakes. I knew we had found the right one. That made Mark feel so much better.

We had our Christmas wedding on May 5, 2001....but we still celebrate December 1 every year. So, we have "2" anniversaries. :) It's still warms my heart so much how much work everyone did. It was the perfect Christmas wedding. The pastor even dug out the Christmas decorations and decorated the church for Christmas.....right before he went out and mowed the lawn. :) There were candles in the windows and even though it was 4 in the afternoon in the middle of May, we still had a "candlelight" ceremony. It was beautiful.