Mark and Tammy's Excellent Adventure

            I can still remember the day Mark told me he might need a transplant. It was back in October 2000. Mark had been in the hospital and had gone in for a recheck. I came over to his house after work to find him sitting at the kitchen table. I gave him a kiss and sat down next to him. I asked him how his appointment went. With a blank look on his face, he said “Okay”. I knew ‘okay’ didn’t really mean ‘okay’ so I asked him again.

            “Well,” he said, “Dr. Wallace said I either need to go with an insulin pump or a kidney transplant”.

            I was stunned. Well, shocked was more like it. I remember thinking Transplant? That’s so serious. That should be the last resort, shouldn’t it? It’s so final. The thought of a transplant seemed so evil.  Now I realize how little I knew about transplants and how common they really are.

            It wasn’t long after that that Mark asked me to marry him. Before I could say yes, he showed me everything about his diabetes—something he had never done with anyone else before. It was something he didn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone. He showed me how to test his blood sugar, how to make an insulin shot and how to give him his shot. It was definitely overwhelming. He said to me, “This is what you’ll have to deal with every day for the rest of our lives. Are you sure you want to marry me?”

            I gave him the biggest smile with a big kiss. Of course I still wanted to marry him. His diabetes would never change that. I loved Mark more than anything. And I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

            Not too long after that, we quickly learned that an insulin pump was not a right direction for Mark with his brittle diabetes and a kidney transplant was the route to go. In March 2001, we went to the Transplant Center for a class on information about transplants. There was so much information. We got to meet the surgeons and our transplant coordinator. We also got a list of lab tests and other medical procedures we needed to do before the transplant could be scheduled.

            Not long after that class, Dr. Wallace told us Mark’s kidney function had gotten progressively worse. He recommended starting dialysis. He hoped that would help with Mark’s extreme fatigue. I panicked. I did not want Mark starting dialysis. Our family went through a terrible experience with my uncle starting dialysis when he passed away at his first dialysis run on the machine in 1988. But after talking to my mom, she eased my fears by reminding me that was a long time ago and that so many people do well with dialysis.  I’ll never forget that conversation with my mom. Mark started dialysis in March 2001 and we started doing all the tests for the transplant and there were a ton of them. Both our families also tested for being a possible donor. Mark’s blood type was O positive. Three of Mark’s brothers were a match. All of my family were A positive and therefore were ruled out as donors. We were so grateful 3 brothers matched.

             We really saw the good in people during this time. Lots of people have the misunderstanding that when they donate, their life will change. They can’t have kids, can’t play in sports, etc. The truth is you can lead a normal life after donating with no changes at all. We had one friend who said she wanted to donate and she knew she wouldn’t have kids so she wanted to. Another person said he would donate because he could live without playing sports, but Mark couldn’t live without a kidney. What an amazing, unselfish act.

            Two weeks after we got married in May 2001, Mark went in for his final test before being cleared for the transplant, an angiogram. Unfortunately they found multiple blockages. The question was to do an angioplasty with stents or to do a triple bypass. It was quickly decided that we needed to do a bypass and then it would be a 3-month minimum waiting period before he could have the transplant with lots of rehab and recovery.

            After more testing and exams, the heart bypass surgery was scheduled for August 2001. He got through the surgery and was told he had gone through the worst and that the transplant would be a “piece of cake” compared to that surgery. We were hoping.

            Mark’s brother, Buddy, started going through all the testing. Finally we had a tentative transplant date for 11/27/01. The day before, both Buddy and Mark had to go through a number of tests once again. We had gotten there at 8 in the morning. At 6:00 that night, after being there all day, we found out that one of Buddy’s kidneys had a potential cyst and the other one had too many vessels attached to it. They like to see 1, possibly 2 and Buddy’s had 4. The transplant had to be cancelled. Mark was getting dialysis and so he hadn’t heard. The doctors said they would tell him, but I certainly didn’t want him hearing it from them. I went to the dialysis room and told Mark it had to be cancelled and why. He gave me a hug and said “That’s okay. We just have to make sure Buddy is okay”. I’ll never forget that.

            A few days after that, Mark got a call from his brother, Scott. He said he was going to go in for the testing and he wanted to donate and give him the best Christmas present. It was the neatest phone call. The Transplant Center only lets one possible donor go through the testing due to cost, so this was a very long process. We found out shortly after that Mark’s other brother, Paul, had gone in for the testing right before Scott. So, we waited to hear about Paul’s results. Because of what happened with Buddy, Paul had all the testing done right away and not the day before to save us that heartache.  Unfortunately, Paul had the same thing as Buddy did with the multiple vessels. One more possible donor down.

            After this, Mark went through major depression. It was tough. He struggled a lot just to get out of bed. It was heartbreaking to watch.

            Shortly after Paul was rejected, Scott went in for the testing. He ended up having 2 vessels on his kidney which was questionable but at this time, they wanted Mark to feel better and the surgeons decided to go for it. That was music to our ears.

Mark had one last echocardiogram to check his heart. Unfortunately, that showed that in the last 6 months, he had had a silent heart attack and his function was very low. Our next step was to see a heart transplant surgeon to talk about a possible heart transplant before the kidney transplant. Nothing could prepare us for that. It was the worst feeling. I got the call at work and rushed home to Mark in tears. I remember telling him that he couldn’t give up. He looked at me and said “Yes, I can”. I didn’t blame him. Nothing seemed to be going right.

We met with a heart transplant surgeon who decided that they would go ahead with the kidney transplant. He felt the dialysis was making the heart weaker and he felt having the kidney transplant would help the heart. However, the risk of a heart attack was significant during the surgery and that this was a very high-risk surgery with his low-functioning heart. He had a 50/50 chance of something happening. They left it up to us. At this point, Mark was willing to take the risk and I was willing to go with whatever Mark chose. The transplant was scheduled for 03/21/02 which was a month away.

Ironically enough, a couple weeks before the transplant, Mark developed a foot ulcer. Prior to the transplant, if you have any infections, sores, illness, anything, the transplant is cancelled. They put Mark on some antibiotics to help the sore but stated if it was still there the night before, they would cancel it. It never got better and we thought for sure it would be cancelled. We had to go in to see the surgeon the day before to check on it. He said the obvious, it wasn’t better. But then he gave us a wink and said “Let’s do it”. We all knew it was a huge, huge risk and both Mark and I were terrified but it was a risk we were willing to take.

So, on 03/21/02, Mark received a kidney from his brother, Scott. We always remember this day and the glorious gift Scott and his wife, Rose, gave that day. It’s been 6 years since that transplant and Mark is looking better and better every day.