Tablino

It was snowing; the first snow of the year. She stood with her hands shoved deeply into her coatpockets, her scarf wound snugly ‘round her neck, and her breath coming out in small puffs. She loved the cold; it made her feel alive, physically, at least. She felt her most vital with the cold wind stinging her cheeks, turning them rosy.

The flakes fell softly, leaving a carpet of silence over everything around her. She stood in the old gazebo in the park, looking out over the lake, which was not yet completely frozen over. Footsteps crunched behind her in the thin layer of snow already coating most of the ground. She whirled around, startled and pulling her coat more tightly around her. The footsteps belonged to an old man, standing at the foot of the gazebo’s tiny staircase. His face wore a look of surprise as well.

"I’m sorry miss! I didn’t realize anyone was here." He turned to go.

"Oh, no! Please don’t leave. Some company would be nice right now." She smiled tiredly. He noticed how puffy her eyes were; she had been crying.

He held out his hand; it shook slightly, and she could see his veins beneath the pale skin. "I’m Joseph. Joseph McCartney."

She shook his hand tentatively. "Katherine Setnof. Nice to meet you."

…Nearly every night after that found them in the gazebo at the park. Joseph—she called him Joey—would bring some hot chocolate and they would talk for hours, enjoying the privacy their little space afforded them. Sometimes they would grab a bite to eat or catch a movie, but most nights ended with Joey walking her home and heading off to wherever it was that he lived. He never was clear as to where that was.

She knew why a few months after they first met. It was raining out, the first rain of spring, and she was getting ready to meet him, having relaxed the day away at home when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Kat. It’s Joey."

"Hey! How is my dear Joseph today?"

"Not too good, sweetheart. My hip’s killing me and I can barely shuffle along, never mind walk. I don’t think I can make it tonight."

"I’m really sorry to hear that, Joey. Anything I can do? Do you need anything?"

"No, it does me good just to hear your voice, kid. Sorry about tonight."

"Don’t be. You just rest and keep off your feet, ya hear?"

"I hear, I hear." She could practically see his eyes twinkling when he said that. She knew he was smiling.

"Night, Joey."

"Night, Kat."

She looked at the caller ID just before she put the phone in its cradle: Pine Grove Nursing Home. She finished putting her coat on and was there in twenty minutes.

The building was dilapidated, to say the least. It was a small, one-story facility; the shutters on some of the windows were hanging crookedly, and the windowpanes looked like they hadn’t been cleaned since the place opened. She shook her head in dismay and went in.

If the outside was bad, the interior was even worse. The floor was dirty, the wallpaper was peeling, and the hallway smelled like the inside of an old tennis shoe. She walked up to the front desk, making a mental note to hold her breath for as long as she could.

The receptionist was apparently not in, so Kat just reached over the desk and checked the room listings for herself. 103. He was in 103.

She found him sitting in a dilapidated armchair, with a coverlet over his legs, staring out at the rain. He started when he heard her footstep in the doorway.

"Kat!"

She was angry, oh-so-angry, that this man, this wonderful man, was forced to live in such a hovel, but she checked her temper—for his sake. She forced a bright smile. "Hey, Joey. I’m sorry for just dropping in, but I figured if you couldn’t meet me then I’d come to you."

"Pull up a seat, then."

She dragged another chair over to the window and sat beside him. They both looked out at the rain, not saying a word, and Joey took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.

…After a light dinner, care of the home’s kitchen, Kat helped get Joey settled in to bed and kissed him goodnight. She passed by the still empty receptionist’s desk on the way out, her anger returning. She threw the door open and stepped out into the downpour, swearing to get him out of that place.

… "Stevenson and Goldenblatt, how can I help you?"

"Hi, my name is Katherine Setnof. I was wondering if I could get an appointment with Mr. Stevenson or Mr. Goldenblatt?"

"For what day?"

"Tomorrow, if at all possible."

"Mr. Goldenblatt has an opening for nine o’ clock tomorrow morning."

"Okay. I’ll be there. Thanks very much."

…The next day she woke up early and put on her best dress. The law office was only a couple blocks from her house, so she walked. It was a cool, sunny morning, nice and quiet, good for gathering her thoughts. Her heart was racing. She hoped it would work.

Mr. Goldenblatt saw her right away. The secretary showed her in. His office was huge, with large, sunlit windows and heavy mahogany furniture. It was actually, surprisingly, inviting—for a lawyer’s office anyway. Goldenblatt was sitting behind his desk.

"Please, have a seat, Ms. Setnof," he said smiling, after the necessary formalities had been exchanged. She sat, smoothing her skirt and folding her hands nervously in her lap.

Mr. Goldenblatt cleared his throat. "Now, what can I do for you today?"

"I want to do something for a dear friend of mine. His name is Joseph McCartney and he lives at Pine Grove Nursing Home. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there or not, but the place is a dump. Joey has no other family in the world and I want to take care of him. I don’t want his last years to be spent in that place. I’m not interested in any property or anything that he might have; I just want him by my side."

"That should be simple enough, Miss. Since he has no family, you can obtain power of attorney. As long as you have that, you have every right in the world to have him live with you."

"How long would it take you to draw the paperwork up?"

"I can have it for you by this time tomorrow morning."

Kat stood up and shook Mr. Goldenblatt’s hand fervently. "Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me."

…The next afternoon she returned to Pine Grove, papers in hand. The receptionist was actually behind the desk that day, so she marched right up to her and slammed the paperwork down on the counter. The receptionist arched an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

"Is Mr. McCartney ready to go?"

"Set, Kat!" Joey said, coming up the hall, a small valise in hand. Hope you had a nice night; sorry I couldn’t make it again."

Kat just smiled. "Let’s get out of here Joey." She called out to anyone who might be listening. "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. McCartney has left the building!"

…Joey was given the second bedroom. She gave him a few minutes to unpack and acclimate himself and went to the kitchen to fix them some dinner. Joey came in when the food was almost ready.

"Nice place, Kat."

"Oh, it’s not much, but I do the best I can."

Joey came up to the stove and put his arms around her. "I’ll never forget this, kid. You don’t know how much this means to me."

…There was a knock on the door just as they were sitting down to dinner. Kat got up and answered it. It was Daniel, known as Danny, her downstairs neighbor.

"Danny! Hi! It’s been awhile. How are you?"

"Aw, you know me, Kat, always good." They embraced. Danny caught sight of Joey over Kat’s shoulder. "I’m sorry! I didn’t realize you had a guest!"

"Danny, this is my very dear friend Joseph McCartney," she said, closing the door and ushering Danny inside. Danny strode up to the dinner table, holding his hand out.

"It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. McCartney. I’m Daniel Westcoat; you can call me Danny." They shook hands.

"And you can call me Joey. It’s great to meet you too."

"Do you want to stay for dinner, Danny?"

"Aw, I just came to say hi, Kat; I didn’t realize you had company."

Joey decided to chime in. "I know I would like you to stay. I love meeting new people. I guess it’s up to Kat."

They both looked at her. She just smiled and went to get Danny a plate.

…Nearly every day after that saw the three of them together. Kat and Danny were both teachers, so they took it upon themselves to spend as much time with Joseph as they could after school let out. When the school year ended in June, Danny rarely left Kat’s place, except to sleep. Joey loved the beach and, as Kat and Danny were quite fond of it themselves, they spent a lot of time there.

It wasn’t long until Joey came to notice something developing between the two young people. Danny was obviously mad for Kat, and, although she was a little harder to read, Joey felt sure that Kat was very much in love with Danny.

The three of them were once again at the beach one day, when Danny suddenly rose from his towel and asked if either of them would like to take a walk. Joey declined, feigning fatigue, but Kat, after Joey assured her that he would be perfectly fine left to his own devices, agreed to go. Joey smiled wistfully as he watched the pair make their way to the shoreline.

…The waves were rough that day, and they foamed around Kat and Danny’s legs as they traced their way along the shore. Kat, suddenly seized by mischief, ran a few feet ahead of Danny, turned around and began splashing him mercilessly. Danny laughed in surprise and quickly retaliated. He splashed her like mad and then ran up and grabbed her round the waist, swinging her around.

They were both laughing hysterically when he set her down. He looked into her bright, smiling eyes for a moment and then kissed her softly, gathering her to him. She relaxed against him, deepening the kiss. He ran a hand through her hair and she suddenly broke away.

"What’s wrong?"

"Danny, I’m sorry, but I just can’t do this right now."

"Why, Kat?"

"It’s just…look, I have a lot going on right now. I have Joey to take care of now, and he needs a lot of…maintenance. I love you, Danny, but I just can’t neglect Joey."

"I love you, too, Kat. And I would never ask you to neglect Joey. You know I’d help you."

"I’m sorry, Danny, but it’s best if you didn’t get wrapped up in all of this. Joey wouldn’t want it."

"All of what? What do you mean, Kat?"

Kat kissed him on the cheek. She was crying. "I’m sorry, Danny." She walked away, back to Joey.

After Danny came back they packed up early and went home.

…The leaves began to fall from the trees soon enough. Joey first started to show how sick he was in October. The fact was, Joey had leukemia, and it was starting to get the best of him.

He and Kat were in the bathroom one day; she was brushing her teeth and he was combing his hair, when the comb came away from his scalp with about a quarter of his hair stuck in it. Kat choked in shock, swallowing a lot of toothpaste. Joey pat her back as she coughed.

"Oh, Joey," she said mournfully, wiping her mouth. She began to cry.

"Kat, don’t cry. Come on, the doctors said this would happen once I started chemo."

"I know, it’s just-" There was a knock at the door, startling them both. Kat cleared her throat, trying to get herself back under control. "I’ll get that."

It was Danny.

"Danny, hi! Haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks. How are you?"

"Fine, and you?"

"Fine."

Kat, don’t lie. Your eyes are all puffy from crying. Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?"

"Danny, it’d be better if you just stay out of it. Everything’s fine."

Danny sighed. "Kat, I’m not stupid. I know something’s going on, but if you don’t want to tell me I won’t force you." He cupped her face in his hands. "If you need me, I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk." He kissed her on the forehead and left.

Kat shut the door and leaned wearily against it. She noticed Joey standing in the bathroom doorway out of the corner of her eye.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough."

"Oh."

"Kat, I don’t think we can hide this anymore; we both know he’s going to find out eventually."

"I guess so."

…Joey collapsed in their building’s elevator a couple of weeks later. He and Kat had just come back from a walk, and nothing had appeared to be wrong with him. They were talking and then Joey just fell in a heap.

Kat called 911 on her cell phone and one of her neighbors helped her prop Joey’s head and legs up. Danny, just on his way to Kat’s place, came running over when he saw the commotion.

"Kat! Oh my God, what happened?"

…Kat and Danny were sitting in one of the family waiting rooms at the hospital. The ambulance had brought Joey in three hours earlier, and the doctors still hadn’t come with any news. Danny held Kat’s hand.

"Why didn’t you tell me?"

"I just couldn’t Danny."

"But why?"

Kat buried her face in her hands. "I didn’t want to face it." Her voice was muffled and thick. She raised her head and turned a tear-stained countenance toward Danny. "I couldn’t admit that he might die. Telling you would mean accepting it, and I couldn’t do that. I still can’t."

Danny held her as she began to sob again.

…A doctor came in to see them after another hour had passed. Kat and Danny sprang to their feet.

"Ms. Setnof? Mr. Westcoat?"

The pair nodded.

"My name’s Doctor Ferguson. Could the two of you please have a seat?"

They resumed their former posts.

"I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but even though Mr. McCartney’s condition is stable, he’s going to continue to deteriorate very rapidly. We’ve done everything we could have for him, but the cancer has gotten the better of him. I’m so sorry, but he has a month, at most. All we can hope to do now is to make him as comfortable as possible."

Kat’s face was hidden in her hands again. Danny smoothed her hair soothingly, crying himself. Dr. Ferguson stepped out to give them a moment.

…They were able to see Joey after they had gotten themselves under control. He was in a private room, overlooking the lake in the park across the street. The gazebo where he and Kat had first met could be easily seen from the window.

Kat and Danny dragged a couple of chairs over to the side of Joey’s bed and sat, Kat taking Joey’s hand in hers.

"Hey, kid."

"Hey yourself. How you feelin’?"

"Better than I did in the elevator." He smiled weakly.

Kat kissed his thin, wasted hand over and over. "Oh, Joey, my poor, sweet Joey," she murmured between kisses.

…Kat decided to remain at the hospital until the end. Danny brought her clothes and necessities from home and brought Joey some of the things from his old room, to "cozy up the place."

A cot was set up in the corner of the room for Kat to sleep on, when she slept at all, which was usually just a couple of hours at night. The rest of her time was devoted to making Joey as comfortable as possible. She and Danny read to Joey, rented his favorite movies, fluffed his pillows, played cards with him, and fed him when he no longer had the strength to do it himself.

Joey deteriorated more rapidly than the doctors thought he would. A mere three weeks transformed him from the bright-eyed man that Kat and Danny loved into a trembling, sallow version of his former self. His vivid blue eyes were all that remained of the man he once was.

…Kat knew that the end had come. She woke up in the middle of the night to find Joey breathing raggedly. She paged the nurse, who immediately put an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. The doctors came. They gave him until mid-morning, if he was lucky. Kat called Danny and he came immediately. They sat with Joey all night.

Danny stepped out for a few moments before dawn to get Kat and himself some water. When the door closed, Joey ripped off the oxygen mask.

"Joey, no!" Kat went to put it back on, but Joey grabbed her wrist. The strength in his thin hand surprised her and she let go.

"Kat, go after that boy. I’m not leaving until I see you happy."

"Joey…"

"Go. I’ll still be here when you get back."

Kat leaned over and gently kissed his mouth. "I love you, Joey. Thank you…for everything." A tear fell from her eye and landed on his cheek.

Joey reached up with a shaking hand and brushed another tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I love you too, kid. You’ve made this old man so happy."

Kat kissed his hand and rose. She looked at him lingeringly from the doorway and disappeared.

…She caught up to Danny right outside of the cafeteria. She was panting and out of breath.

"I…ran…the whole way…here."

"Kat, did Joey…?"

"No! I just…" Her voice broke and she flew to him, holding him close and sobbing. "Danny, I can’t lie to myself anymore. I love you. I love you and love you and love you."

She kissed him. Tears ran down both their faces and intermingled. Danny broke away first and held her close.

"Kat…I love you so much. Poor Kat, you just cry," he whispered. "You’ve been so brave all this time, so brave."

…They returned to Joey’s room just as the sun was rising. Joey hadn’t put his mask back on and he wasn’t moving.

"Joey!"

Kat ran to his side. He made one last effort to return the pressure she made when she squeezed his hand. She looked down into his radiant eyes, he looked up into hers, and he died with a soft smile on his face. Kat sank to the floor with a strangled cry and laid her head on the side of the bed, her entire body wracked with sobbing.

Danny closed Joey’s eyes and placed a hand on Kat’s head, smoothing her hair. The nurse and several others came in and did what needs to be done when there is a death, and then gave Kat and Danny a final moment with their friend.

Neither of them said anything for some time. Then, Danny, looking out the window, tapped Kat’s shoulder. She looked up and raised her puffy eyes to see what he was staring at. She smiled softly through her tears.

It was snowing outside.