Tablino

Day 38

Dearest Diary,

It is the second day of marching, and I am feeling sick to my soul.

We are heading toward Jenarhiji, land of the Ancient Ones; the spirits that guide all of us to our calling.

But that is not what troubles me.

Today, a little boy stumbled into our camp. His clothing was ragged, his feet were bleeding, and he wore an expression of pure horror. Running up to me, he dropped on his knees, and in a language I could not understand, began to speak, words tripping all over each other. His meaning was clear - he was begging me for help.

A few minutes later, he had been fed and cared for, and I found an interpreter. The little boy's name was Omyrr, and he was one of the Tribe of Hallaanis - which were no more. The little boy spun such a tale of blood and destruction, that I can honestly say, there was not a dry eye left when he was finished.

The tribe had been traveling calmly to a meeting with another tribe, when suddenly the twisted mutants of the Chaos had appeared. Surrounding the caravan, they began to swiftly - and mercilessly - cut down all that opposed them. The Hallaani fought bravely - but there was too many. All were killed...except the children. These were rounded up into a tight little circle, and they trembled as the leader of the villains stepped forward.

"Run, little vermin!" He cried. "Flee for your lives!"

And run those poor souls did. Omyrr told us that as they ran, the Mutants began firing, apparently making sport out of the children.

When we asked him how many were left, he began to sob.

"I'm the only one." Was all he could say. "I'm the only one."

I'm afraid I'm going to spot the paper - it's so hard not to cry.

Sincerely,

Aleta

~~

Day 40

Dearest Diary,

I find myself drawn to Telesian even more over these days. He's just perfect - there's something in the way he smiles at me that makes me feel like melting away...

But what happens if he's in love with me too?

What happens if everything I'm hoping for comes to pass? What if every day, I find myself more and more in love with him, more drawn to him, happier than ever?

And then.....

What if he's killed?

What if I have to spend the rest of my life knowing, deep down inside, that he was the only one for me, and that I'll never have that chance for real happiness? What if.....no.

No - it can't happen.

I can't let myself fall into this hole. I've lost everyone else in my life.....

And I can't let myself cry so bitterly ever again. It can't happen.

I'll have to let go of him. Forever.

My heart has betrayed me too often....

Aleta

~~

Day 41

Dear, dear Diary

I am no longer in the camp.

Today I awoke early in the morning, and, taking care to be especially quiet, packed a few things and wrote a letter to Telesian.

I told him that I was going to take a walk....and if I wasn't back in three days, to start marching without me.

But I have no intention of returning. Not now - not in three days - not ever.

I am a young girl! I cannot lead an army into battle, or save a world, or, or....

Or even control my feelings.

Yes - Telesian was another reason I had to leave. I cannot become attached to anyone ever again - the fates have already shown me what happens to those that I love.

Oh, Diary! Please help me. My heart is breaking in pieces, right in front of my eyes!

Sometimes I wish I did not even have a heart.........

And now I must stop writing, because I'm going to cry...

I'm so alone.

Aleta

~~

Day 56

Dearest Diary,

What a week!

Well, for starters, I decided I’d go back, Telesian or no. I started this, it’s my job to finish, isn’t it? Am I right?

Well, as I was going back to the army, I was captured by a tribe called the Pet'racten. They accused me of being a spy, and locked me up in a large prison, which was on a cart -- and just about the most uncomfortable ride I've EVER been on! Honestly, I told them, if I worked for Chaos, I wouldn't be in this condition. Of course, they didn't believe me...

Just as they were about to execute me, who should show up but Telesian? He explained that I was with him, and after a good amount of fussing, they let me go.

I was about to explain why I had been gone so long, but he seemed so happy to see me, so relieved that I was all right, that I decided maybe I just would let it go. After all, I didn't abandon them...at least, not permanently. But something about that still prickles my mind. After all, the reason I left was partially because of Telesian...

I wonder if fate, maybe, has decided to change its plans for me. After all, some cultures say that there's a wheel of fate -- no one ever stays on the bottom for long.

...Or maybe this is just the calm before the storm...

Heh. Some calm.

Aleta

~~

Day 58

Dearest, dearest Diary,

We're nearly to the Gates of the Chaoslands -- and I think I'm the happiest girl alive! I know that sounds funny, but I feel like I could just sprout wings and fly away! There's this odd, fluttery feeling in my heart, and I can't control it...But why would I want to? Oh, well, I suppose I'd better explain why I'm so happy.

Telesian loves me!

Just this evening, the army had just stopped and was setting up camp when Telesian came over and asked to talk to me -- in private. We walked into my tent, he pulled down the tent flap and just looked at me for a few long moments. Then --

...He pulled me up to him...

...wrapped his arms around me...

AND KISSED ME! (And he's a fantastic kisser, too!)

It was wonderful. No, wait, wonderful doesn't explain it at all. It was -- thrilling, exciting, amazing, beautiful -- Oh, I can't even begin! Then he took both of my hands, kissed them, and kissed my lips again -- over and over and over, running his fingers through my hair...

"I've wanted to do that ever since I met you." He murmured through kisses. "I love you. I love you and love you and love you..."

Oh, I love him and love him and love him, too!

One very, very, very happy, Aleta