Tucker's Tales

Nice little photo...and caption.

It's no secret, Transylvania University is a unique, unique institution.  And I think all the time about how our lives would be different if we had gone elsewhere.  Some good, some bad.  But here is my list!  I dare say you Transy folk can relate.  You people who didn't go there probably don't care to read this.  But if you clicked this far, you might as well.

1. I wouldn't be socially awkward.

To this day, I can be in a social setting in Lexington, and I can point out the Transy kids.  And guess what?  People could point out me and my friends when we were at Transy.  When I was in college, and even now when I go out with my college friends, we pretty much just band together in a corner and don't really talk to anyone else.  Maybe we're a little bit elitist.  OK, if I'm being honest, we're just socially awkward.  And I blame Transy for that.  Why?  Because there was never a class where we saw an unfamiliar face.  There was never a time walking on campus when we saw someone we didn't recognize...and if we did, we sounded the alarms, screamed CODE RED and picked up a red phone so DPS would immediately respond to the scene to apprehend an intruder.  

Therefore, when we went anywhere social with people who (God forbid) didn't go to Transy, we pretended other people didn't exist.  And sadly (though I'm trying to get better), that's kinda what I still do, at least when I'm with my Transy group.  

Another example of this is tolerance for loud music/late nights.  I remember in Miami our Junior year for Spring Break, Shauna Case (her new last name not mentioned to protect her identity) was set to compete in the Senor Frogs pudding wrestling contest (turns out, against a girl twice her size).  The problem was, the contest didn't even begin until 4 am.  So around 2:00, all the Transy kids start petering out.  Before I knew it, we were all on the couches outside the restrooms, in the back of the club, some laying down, and some (Meg Coors) even sleeping.  She looked so angelic laying there, music blasting, and cuddled up snoozing at Senor Frogs.  Shauna didn't win, and I'm not even sure any of us were still awake at that point to see it.

I also remember numerous times at various establishments when we were tempted to ask them to turn down the music because it was "too loud."  I guess we just weren't the party-or-die type people like those who went to other schools.  Unless you're like Ashwin who would "rather be partying."  (EDITOR'S NOTE: I'M TRYING TO ROUND UP THE PHOTO FOR THAT QUOTE) (Editor's Note #2: Found it)

My point is that at a bigger school, people are always crossing paths with someone new.  You get used to it.  At Transy, you already know everyone, or at least those you care to know.  And then there are the people playing Dance Dance Revolution in the Clay/Davis Lobby...............and all of a sudden I feel slightly less socially awkward.

2. I would be a doctor.

Above: EVERY FIRST YEAR TRANSY PRE-MED STUDENT

Or at least I would have taken more than 1/4 of a semester of Biological Interactions.  I really did think I was gonna be pre-med though.  I took Calculus 1 my first semester, and Biological Interactions my second.  Correction: 1/4 of my second semester.  I thought it was really hard.  I had no idea how to study.  My high school Honors Biology class consisted of watching AKC dog shows, the movie "Dune" (I have NO idea why), as well as Alfred Hitchcock's "Birds."  

That is SERIOUSLY all I remember about high school biology.  That said, I don't know why on God's green earth I thought I was going to be pre-med.  But I sure did have that in my head.  I did go back and forth to physical therapy as well.  But that all went out the window after my first year of college.  My first hint should have been my big fat D- in Calc 1.  But no, I thought I would just go ahead with it and start on my "pre-med curriculum" (which I had no idea what that even meant at the time) and take Bio when all the other pre-med jerks had already knocked that AND chemistry out in their first semester.  Thanks for letting me know guys!  You could have saved me a whole of of time.  

Then, I remember some of those nerds having the nerve to say "you know all the pre-med people already took Bio, don't you?"  Don't judge me, science nerd.  As for me, my first Bio test grade was somewhere in the neighborhood of 50% and I peaced out.  But sure enough, many those same people who judged me from their scientific pedastals were crying at Dr. Csuhai's feet begging to stay in the "pre-med" curriculum, while I was busy analyzing (psychobabble for judged) THEM.  In the mean-time, I had settled nicely into my useless-unless-you-become-a-professor-or-psychologist Psychology courses. The point is that Transy has this really cool, unofficial process where they "weed out" the weak pre-med students.  Maybe at a different (easier) school, I could have gotten my feet wet learned what I should have already learned in high school, and would be a doctor or a physical therapist right now.  

PS. You'll be happy to know I got a B in Chemistry 104 at Somerset Community College.  That was my science credit in college.  Somewhere, I dare say some of those pre-med rejects are still crying in their petri dishes.

3. I couldn't have walked to Rupp Arena.

Crap, posted the wrong photo.  This is from when I walked to the gun and knife expo in Lexington Center, also very cool.

BEST THING ABOUT GOING TO TRANSY AS A UK FAN.  There was nothing better than getting out of swim practice on a random Tuesday, grabbing a pizza, sub, or 7 Gatorades from the 1780, meeting up with a friend and strolling down Broadway to historic Rupp Arena, chanting C-A-T-S all the while (not really, but that's more exciting than just walking, for the purposes of a blog post).  It was the best of both worlds.  Transy and all its.......Transy-ness, and Kentucky Basketball 4 blocks away.  And gun/knife expos.  And monster truck pulls. Monday Night Raw.  Disney on Ice.  Justin Bieber Concerts. 

I've said too much.

4. I wouldn't have been in a fraternity.

I don't know if this really happened in big school fraternities, but I'm just going to assume it did.  Although when UK won Friday night, I did secretly wish I could be on State Street amidst some variation of the above situation.  There's always next weekend...

Fraternities at big schools seem sorta like you have to sell your soul.  My friends that were in them, while they seemed to have a (very) good time, it was almost like that was their entire identity.  Plus I just wasn't the type at that time to move in a week early and throw myself into the middle of a week of social events with people I didn't know (OK, so maybe the socially awkward thing wasn't TOTALLY a product of Transy, but Transy didn't help).

5. I probably wouldn't have lived in a dorm for very long, if at all.

Transy is pretty lenient on the on-campus social life.  Let me rephrase that...it USED TO BE pretty lenient.  I don't know what it's like now, but I hear they've tightened the reins a litte. Seriously, we got away with a lot of stuff my freshman year.  Then, by the time I was a senior, they had started to crack down on "hall parties," (seriously, you young folk have no idea) and they even took away our bid day (again, while I'm sure you guys find a way to get around the rules, it was anything goes back in the day).  I'm pretty sure the actual dorms at UK (from the ones I saw) were relatively tame.  When I visted friends, it was ghost-town-like.  I never thought I would like living in a dorm, but turns out, Transy dorm life was pretty awesome.  One time, someone ripped a sink out of the wall.  If I'd been at a big school, I never would have had that experience.  Because I either would have just stayed in my room all the time (remember where I am right now: socially awkward, not in a fraternity, struggling through those pre-med classes, not going to basketball games), or I would have moved off campus altogether and...probably had the same lame existence.  

6. I never would have spent the night in a tomb with a dead botanist.

Let's be honest.  I didn't do that crap anyway.  Creepy, and kinda weird.  Plus, i went in there once, and it was really cold.

There are so many other quirky things about Transy that I never would have gotten to experience.  Letha, Ada, "Raf Week," T-Day Ball, REAL bid days, Back Circle, the grand ribbon cutting of the Beck Center steps (remember that?  you probably don't - I'm OLD), Jazzman's cafe, the renovation of the Raf, just kidding, I had to endure the wooden planks, musty smell, and dim lighting for my entire 4 years (What about the sweaty sub maker, the lady who would say 'WHAT ARE WE DOIN HERE OR TO GO WHITE OR WHEAT' whilst wiping her brow sweat with her forearm?  Was she still in the Raf after I graduated?)

Also, one time I got to see Jason Taylor and President Shearer shake hands, and, neither one of them knowing what to do next, go in for THE MOST AWKWARD, OUT-OF-SYNC HUG OF ALL TIME.  Seriously.  President Shearer went in for the hug, but Jason resisted, then Shearer got the hint, but not before Jason had already started to go in for it.  All the while, their hands remain grasped in a tight handshake.  

It was one of my top 5 moments at Transy.  And let's be honest...I never would have gotten that, or any of the other things on this list, had I gone to school anywhere other than Transy.

^Used to be a whorehouse.  Cool!  Go Pioneers!!!1!!1!!