|Posted by Ally Tucker on April 30, 2012 at 10:30 PM||comments (3)|
Remember us? We have taken a hiatus from Tucker's Tales for the past few months due to a new gig with KSR College. The time has come though to kick start Tucker's Tales once again with the addition of some fresh blood. Our 2012 recruiting class includes two of the top blogging prospects in the country county.
TARA BILBY 5'7, 5'8, 5'9? pretty tall Berea, Ky
Tara Bilby first caught the eye of the Tucker's Tales recruiting gurus with her clever/witty work on KSR College. Bilby was actually very pro-active in her recruitment though, reaching out to Tucker's Tales a few weeks ago to proclaim her interest in the position. Though Bilby has verbally committed to Tucker's Tales, we are still waiting on her to fax her letter of intent.
Strengths: Impeccable 3-goggle form, knows when to bold em' and when to fold em' in her blog entries, fromances on Twitter, knows every word to the song "The Motto," group texting, white blazers, typing 10 page papers in backseats on the way to New Orleans, her grandma and grandpa etc.
Weaknesses: Low volume on podcasts, cordial interaction with Mississippi State fans, guys with fatheads, doesn't believe that Rose did anything wrong by not giving a more valiant effort to let Jack share the door with her at the end of Titanic, inability to accept Twitter After Dark, GPS devices, lack of knowledge of Simon Birch, finger piercings, etc.
HAYLEY MINOGUE 5'7, 5'8, 5'9? Damn, she's pretty tall too... Doesn't Exist, Ky
Hayley Minogue, like Bilby, also first caught the attention of Tucker's Tales while blogging for KSR College. Hayley has a quirky sense of humor, cleverly sprinkled with the occasional hashtag. Hayley is still a bit reluctant to pull the trigger and make her commitment to Tucker's Tales. She will decide tomorrow via Twitter, probably after school. Expect Head Coach Ally Tucker and Assistant Coach Kristen Geil to put on the full court press with the recruitment process tonight. We will likely exceed the legal number of alloted text messages allowed in the recruiting process. Screw you, NCAA Freewebs.com. We don't care about your rules.
Strengths: Loyalty to the Big Mac, emojies, tested negative for #L1C4, Twitter, her Boyfriend, her other boyfriend Elroy, her other boyfriend Brad, her other boyfriend Nerlens, Dizzy Bat, ability to creepily lurk in the background of Wilder Eyes pictures, stomps the yard, etc.
Weaknesses: Volunteers to make t-shirts but never follows through, casting calls, Twitter, dates a Louisville fan, confusing e-mail address, doesn't know who Rebecca Lobo is, use of caller ID, starts Twitter wars with U of L fans, shares a last name with Kylie Minogue, etc.
Tucker's Tales Final Thoughts on the Bilby/Minogue Package: Both writers would be fine additions to the Tucker's Tales Staff. They have already proven themselves to be reliable bloggers, while also being two of the funniest/most clever/wittiest girls I've ever met. They have a knack for when to tweet, when to retweet and when to eat meat (never for Tara, after 2 a.m. for Hayley). Tara is also the only writer to ever have her post directly referenced to me by Stone Cold Willow.
In all honesty, I have gotten to know these two girls through the KSR College #LaFamilia over the course of the past few months and my life has been better every day since. They are both a constant source of entertainment, hard work and friendship. I am pleased to announce that both will be interning here for us on TuckersTales.net. Please join me in giving them a warm welcome.
P.s. Tara and Hayley, you might want to add "TT" to the end of your twitter handles. Just sayin'...
|Posted by Kristen Geil on January 29, 2012 at 11:20 AM||comments (1)|
As I sit in my apartment eating breakfast, reflecting on the fact that it is our founding mother's birthday, I knew that our celebration of Ally Tucker's birthday would not be complete without a list of some sort, preferably one with stolen images from Google interspersed throughout. Tucker's Talesians, I have come to create that list. In honor of her 26th birthday, here are 26 reasons I am thankful that Ally Tucker was born (good job Marcie and Cy!).
1. Since her favorite 50 cent song is "In Da Club," I have no doubt that she has the opening line stuck in her head at some point today.
2. She rallied our friends to attend Chinoe Pub karaoke night and made us lifelong regulars and favorites of Eva, Kenny McKenny, and Demetri. Moreso, she somehow didn't have us attend on the night that a gun was pulled in the parking lot.
3. Ally texts my mom and my sister with the same frequency that I do. We also have a group text going between me, Rachel, and Ally. Sounds goofy, but I really do love the fact that she and my family and adopted each other whole-heartedly. It's precious.
4. Whole-heartedly embraces the constant use of emojis.
5. During the KSR College selection process, Ally was constantly reassuring me that we were good enough writers to get on the site and that whatever happened, we had a good thing with Tucker's Tales.
6. Now that we are on the site, she is the most dedicated editor anyone could ever ask for. She works harder than anyone else, and everyone appreciates her for it.
8. She sends me a goodnight emoji every night.
9. She started her own Breakfast Club, and her notes that have come out of it are funny, sincere, and heartwarming. They are really special to read.
10. Appreciates my constant picture messages of food I have cooked.
11. Will send me play-by-play texts of UK games when I can't watch it myself.
12. Shares my love of "old man search" on Twitter.
13. Attended the Michael Jackson tribute skate at Champs dressed as The Man In The Mirror himself. If that's not amazing, I don't know what is.
14. Want to go mudsliding in back circle in the freezing rain at midnight? Ally will go with you.
(Side note- the mud makes it look like I have a unibrow to rival Davis's)
15. Jortsed the Walking Man outside of the Lex- despite the freezing rain and hail.
(Ally, we need to get this on KSR College at some point)
16. Usher concert in Columbus? Ally is down like Chinatown.
17. She leads the anti-swag movement with confidence and bravado.
18. Constantly calls out the Griffin twins on Twitter... someone has to do it.
19. Had the best radio show of all time during my freshman year of college; it resulted in an unhealthy obsession with Robot Ponies.
20. Currently co-hosts the best podcast of all time with me, resulting in an unhealthy obsession with our intro music.
21. Appreciates my childhood diary in all its uncensored glory.
22. Once serenaded her parents at Monday Night Karaoke to "You Raise Me Up;" thought it would be goofy but instead it drew tears of joy and love.
23. Best Halloween costume ideas ever. Yup, I said it.
24. Valiantly dedicated to our Fantasy Football league despite that fact that she and my mom were the only ones who made much effort (probably the only thing she's started that hasn't caught on like wildfire, except maybe our Forrer computer lab attempt at starting a spinoff blog for diary entries...)
25. These are the results of google-imaging Ally Tucker:
Pretty damn accurate.
26. Asking "What Would Ally Tucker Do?" will in most cases give you the same answer as "What Would Michael Kidd-Gilchrist Do?" And that's pretty much the highest compliment I can give.
Happy birthday Ally! Love ya, mean it. Pound, blue heart.
|Posted by Kristen Geil on January 2, 2012 at 11:20 PM||comments (0)|
Allow me to introduce myself- my name is Kristen Geil. I'm a 22 year old graduate student and a lifelong Lexingtonian- and because of that, a lifelong UK fan.
Some important facts about me: "All I Do Is Win" is the sixth most played song on my iPod. I recently bought the lifesize DeMarcus Cousins poster on eBay. I called in sick to work last Saturday so that I could watch the UK-UL game and got to the bar at 9:05 am to ensure seating. The best moment of my life was the post-buzzer beer shower at TIn Roof after UK beat UNC to go to the FInal Four last March. I've been a KSR Fan of the Day three times, and last April Fool's Day, my friends and I put jorts on The Lex's "walking man."
Did I mention it was monsooning and freezing? Because it was.
But most importantly, I should be one of your interns.
For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer, preferably in the sports, entertainment, or lifestyle sectors. My childhood diaries are filled with overdramatic ramblings and musings. In high school, I sent Mark Story a list of reasons UK basketball could be used to teach concepts in my AP English class- and got published in the Herald-Leader. In college, my friend Ally Tucker and I started this very blog for our friends and families to enjoy our smart-ass sense of humor- and managed to get 25,000 viewers in its first year.
(Figured it couldn't hurt to appeal to Drew Franklin and our mutual love of Watch the Throne).
Although our blog started off as a "just for fun" hobby, it quickly showed me that writing is one of my true passions. Sitting down to craft a blog entry isn't a chore. Sure, some days it's a challenge, but I love the feeling I get when an acquaintance comes up to me at a grocery store and tells me that my latest rhetorical analysis of Jay Bilas's "I Gotta Go To Work" tweet made them cry from laughing, or that they made a UK playlist on their iPod after reading my suggestions. We've even gotten some celebrity recognition through Twitter- Mary Jo Perino and Josh Hopkins are blog fans. Not to pull a Chane Behanan, but I'm a strong writer with a unique voice, and I know I could write posts that would appeal to your readership. Point blank. Period.
I know, I know, you guys are already thinking, "When can we hire this girl?" Okay, here's where it gets sticky. So... I currently live in Chicago.
That's also how I felt when I read the post advertising intern spots and realized that I was disqualified by not living in Central KY. But then I thought to myself, What Would Michael Kidd-Gilchrist Do? He wouldn't give up, that's for sure. The way I see it, if you like my writing enough, we'll find a way to work it out. There are lots of possibilities for a relationship much longer and more fulfilling than that of Rick Pitino and Karen Sypher. I'm currently at DePaul getting my Master's in Writing, Rhetoric, and Discourse, and as a grad student, my schedule is pretty flexible (class/grad assistantship on all day Mondays/Tuesdays, Wednesdays until 12:30; free the rest of the time, allowing for lots of blogging or even traveling time!). My Winter Quarter lasts until March 27th and I have a job lined up for this summer. The time in between and after, well, that's negotiable, and I'm hopeful you would keep my application on hand should you have an assignment for me.
Maybe you want a correspondent to give an ex-pat view on the state of UK sports (similar to my official writing sample submission for this position)- I can do that. Want to expand the KSR blog into Tumblr? I'm your girl. Perhaps Ms. Tyler Thompson is tired of the tweet beat- I'm happy to take over. I'd even be willing to tackle the daunting task of teaching Eloy Vargas the ins and outs of correct Twitter grammar and spelling. There's lots of dirty work out there, but somebody's got to do it- and I hear that's what interns are for.
So, in conclusion, pick me. Choose me. Love me. Or at the very least, read my writing sample (and maybe even some of my other blog posts that I have thoughtfully linked in this cover letter and the writing sample) and have a chuckle. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship, guys.
Love and Basketball,
|Posted by Ally Tucker on January 1, 2012 at 2:35 PM||comments (0)|
On January 2nd, 2011 at 4:21 p.m.....a new baby was born....probably in a hospital somewhere in the United States....to a joyful mother and father.
On January 2nd, 2011 at 4:21 p.m....a new blog was born...definitely in a small apartment room at "The Lex"... ...to a joyful pair of pals, Ally and Kristen.
I know I've probably told this story on here before, but a random text message from Kristen sent to me a few months before the whole blog actually came to fruition, was the culprit for this whole thing. Kristen sent me a message that said something to the effect of:
"I like your Facebook statuses. If you ever had a blog, I'd read it."
The wheels began to turn at that moment, though I'm not even really sure how aware I was of the fact that it was happening. I began to get a little antsy around new year's of last year and decided that I wanted to start a new project. Suddenly, the text message's message (how's that for a tongue-twister?) came back to me and I began searching the internet for free blog host websites.
My initial thought, considering my obsession with sports and lifelong dream of someday writing for KentuckySportsRadio.com, was that the blog would mainly center around me writing about sports. I even tried to pick what I thought was a "sporty looking" backdrop for the blog. If I had to guess, probably very few of you even remember the initial lay-out for this blog. It was some psychodelic-looking blue and black lightening strike-looking thing. The layout was hideous and thank God a few people made playful comments and urged me to change it.
Since then, the format and layout have not really changed at all. But the content has certainly been as random as can be. We have not written solely about sports. We have written about just about anything you could probably imagine. (And even things you could not imagine, such as "Celebrity Survivor" and having a "Life Draft"--- my bad guys on never finishing those....what was I thinking???)
The little project of this blog started out as a fun idea that I honestly thought would mostly consist of me writing things that only I would read, and maybe my parents and Kristen just because she felt bad. Little did I know that not only would Kristen become a HUGE part of the blog with her hilarious and impressive writing skills, but also that people would actually read it.
I remember being excited the first time that we hit 100 views. It was early on too, maybe within a day or two if I remember correctly. A few retweets later from our MVP, Mary Jo Perino, and we were steadily bringing in around 100 viewers a day. Since then things have fluctuated for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we get an absurd amount of hits (you would laugh at the different Google searches that people use that somehow bring them to our website) and sometimes both of us are so busy that we don't blog quite as often. Regardless, the fact that so many of you all have taken the time to read our blog, come back to read more of our blog, share it with your friends and family, and genuinely support us in our crazy little adventure is something that we are forever grateful for-- THANK YOU!
In our 1 year of existence we have had a grand total of 24,755 views:
Now for a little treat on this 1 year anniversary (don't worry, we are celebrating over a fancy dinner tonight--and by that I mean Kristen will cook a really fancy dinner and send me a picture of it), we would like to re-visit some of our favorite blog entries from the past year.
We have gone back through every single entry (someday we will figure out a way to make doing this easier on the blog) and I have selected what I think are Kristen's TEN BEST BLOG ENTRIES. Kristen has gone back and selected what she thinks are MY BEST TEN BLOG ENTRIES. Simply click on the links provided to go back and read some of our favorites (also keep in mind that some of the pictures that we used along the way have since disappeared...probably copyright bull-jive)
Enjoy....oh, and also...be grateful that since the VERY FIRST BLOG ENTRY, we have learned that adding pictures makes things so much better. Shoutout to Google Images. Thanks, bro.
Ally's Picks for Kristen's 10 Best Blog Entries of 2011 (in no particular order):
**possibilities....have to finalize still
-Kristen started her Tucker's Tales blogging career off with a bang. As soon as I read this entry, I not only laughed out loud (LOL-ed if you will) but I knew that she was going to become a major contributor, far beyond simply a "guest blogger."
-Perhaps my favorite line ever in any of Kristen's many melodramatic and absurd diary entries. "I got an angel! Bye!"
- I think that Kristen has far more "practical" and "useful" blog entries than I do. This is one of her best when it comes to actually informing readers about something important, which in this case revolves around her knowledge and love for Lexington.
- One of the more "so ridiculous that it can't be true, but it's true" stories I've ever heard. Kristen details her audition with her good friend Layson for the television hit show "The Amazing Race"
-Kristen rode a mechanical bull on spring break, among other things.
- Kristen combines her love with Twitter and her trip to Peru. Genius.
- Some of the pictures Kristen found of people "planking" are hilarious. Not to mention that this particular blog entry has accounted for probably 50% of our blog site traffic. When you google or google image the word "planking," Kristen's article is one of the first hits. #BlogSoHard
8 ) Living the Dream
-Kristen makes a list of her dream jobs. Some are obvious choices, some... not so much.
-This is one of my favorite blog entries that Kristen has ever written. I had a giggle fit through the entire thing. Kristen outlines what she would do for tickets to the UK/UNC game.
-Kristen included nearly a page of dialogue directly from the television show "Boy Meets World." I cried just reading it. Enough said.
Kristen's Picks for Ally's 10 Best Blog Entries of 2011 (in no particular order):
Spot on. Just spot on.
I still LOL thinking about this time in Ally's life.
- CHASE NO FACE >>>>>>>. And Ally's photo captions are genius.
- I love lists.
- Ally was on top of the Hunger Games way before the bandwagon started. AND Twitter. Props.
- UK vs Transy is a game that needs to happen every year. Bonus points for referencing Becky the Icebox.
- Oh hey, remember when the World Cup happened this summer and it was AWESOME?? Ally does.
- Although all karaoke entries could be on this list, I chose this one because I wasn't there and that is one of my greatest regrets in life.
- Maybe I cried reading this. Maybe I didn't. You'll never know.
- One of my top five nights of 2011 by far, and Ally completely did it justice in the blog entry.
*** We couldn't forget our favorite guest bloggers. Guest bloggers have been a wonderful bonus for our blog. We have had all kinds of wonderful contributions throughout the year. We have found that all kinds of people have a gift when it comes to writing and/or sharing stories. We hope to continue to allow a place for people to come and share their stuff. It was hard to pick just 5 favorites, but we tried to display a variety.
5 GUEST BLOG ENTRIES WE LOVED:
-She honestly almost had me relating to the Jersey Shore gang.
2) "Your Parents Hate You: Ridiculous Names Vol. 1" by Brandon Daulton
-Brandon is really passionate about ridiculous childhood names. I hope that he marries a woman who insists on naming their child "LaTiffany" or something of the sort.
3) "In the Spirit of Lent" by Meg Phillips
- Meg brought it hard and we love her for it. She went ham on all kinds of people/things.
4) "Becoming a Karaoke Regular" by Colleen Tucker
- Considering how many karaoke entries we had, I figured my sister's entry about the guidelines for being a karaoke regular seemed appropriate.
5) "Short Hair, Don't Care" by Cole Adams
-If I'm being honest, this might be one of my favorite blog entries we've ever had-- not just guest blog entries either. Cole nailed her tribute to the US Women's National Team coach Pia Sunhage.
|Posted by Ally Tucker on December 22, 2011 at 7:20 PM||comments (0)|
Happy Holidays everyone! To say the least, 2011 has been eventful & exciting in our La Familia here at the University of Kentucky. We have had some significant changes in our lives this year, saying goodbye to some of our family members while also welcoming in some new family members as well.
We had a very difficult pregnancy with little Marquis. He almost didn't make it. Sure enough though, when the stork dropped him off on our doorstep instead of the doorstep of Porcini's, we were very excited to see our new little bundle of joy.
Marquis is currently experiencing some of the pains that come with teething, but he is slowly but surely turning the corner and making us proud parents instead of causing us to lose sleep and want to rip our hair out after each
turnover contested 3-pointer incoming tooth.
One of our other new family members, worried us a bit before he arrived as well. When we got the ultra-sound pictures we quickly panicked as any young parents would when we only saw one eyebrow instead of two. The doctors assured us that this was not a critical issue in his development moving forward. He has really excelled since coming home. He loves all of his toys but he has shown a preference for blocks. All little Anthony Davis does all day: blocks, blocks, blocks. He also enjoys playing with his brothers, but they get angry because everytime they try to hand him one of their toys to share with him, he promptly swats it in the other direction. We are sure that he will learn to share in time. He could stand to gain a little bit of weight too...
We have included a picture of baby Anthony's ultrasound!
People keep asking us if little Kyle came from the Milk Man, seeing as he really doesn't resemble anyone else in our family. Kyle worries at times, but we tell him that if anyone gives him any trouble or picks on him for being different, he just needs to learn to
defend himself DEFEND. Point. Blank. End. Of. Story.
Another one of our boys, little Doron, seemed to be having some issues with his vision in school. We finally got him to the eye doctor and they were able to fit him with a pair of glasses with a special prescription lense...
You would be amazed at how much better he can see now! He doesn't even have to wear both lenses anymore!
We took a family vacation a few weeks ago in Uncasville, Connecticut. They had a great casino there! The company wasn't the greatest, but the boys did come back with a little souvenir.
Our boy Enes finally got out of jail after a year!
We wanted to take a moment to personally thank all of our closest friends, church and family for all of the continuing support you gave him during his imprisonment. We will never forget you guys! #LaFamilia
Little Brandon made the honor roll.....AGAIN.
If everyone could just take a quick break from reading the rest of this letter for a minute to pray for our Uncle Chuck. He has fallen a bit ill recently and needs all of your prayers and strength. We heard that he is making a quick recovery, but still...we wish him a year of perfect health!
We had a family reunion this summer. What a blast it was to have everyone back in the same room, sharing stories, swapping trading cards and giving each other shout outs on Twitter. Funny enough, we had like 3 or 4 more reunions just a few weeks later as well. We will probably have another one next summer...hell, maybe we'll have 6 or 7. It was great to have all the guys back around so much...
Speaking of family....Grandma's still got it...
Shhhh....don't tell anyone but little Mikey is our favorite child. He is just perfect in every single way. Honestly, he can do no wrong. We love his every move. He has even been lending a hand to La Familia by getting the other kids up for breakfast every morning and making sure they get fed. He calls it the "Breakfast Club." Such a little angel, that Michael!
Our pride and joy last year, little Joshua, has moved on to take a new job in the Big Apple of all places! The last we heard from him, he was in talks with an agent to have his own reality tv show titled "Fountain of Fun." We don't get much mail from him, but occasionally we still receive mail FOR him. Last March, for example, Jared Sullinger sent him a letter. The only thing enclosed in the envelope was his dignity.
Oh, and we can't leave out the family pet...our little centaur, Eloy. Eloy has really been making major strides in his coordination, even picking up a few new tricks since last year. We find that this year we don't have to yell "NOOOOOOO!" quite so much at him.
All in all, 2011 has been a great year for us here at the Univeristy of Kentucky. We hope that 2011 has been just as great for the rest of the #BBN. Please remember to enjoy the ride, check out my website CoachCal.Com, try a cup of the holiday flavors at Orange Leaf and Bounce Back from any of your shortcomings!
P.s. Pray for sweet Terrence. He has lost his way. And apparently his chin as well.
|Posted by Ally Tucker on October 30, 2011 at 7:50 PM||comments (3)|
|Posted by Ally Tucker on July 17, 2011 at 10:25 PM||comments (0)|
|Posted by Ally Tucker on July 14, 2011 at 6:40 PM||comments (2)|
Hey remember this face/name from Tucker's Tales Celebrity Survivor? (that went well, huh?)
Please welcome Cole Adams back to Tucker's Tales. She has dropped by to grace us with her first (hopefully of many) Guest Blog Entries. I have to be honest....this blog that she wrote might be the funniest thing I have read on here in a long time. Hats off to you, Cole.
"Short Hair, Don't Care"
By Cole Adams
Like many 5 and 6-year old children, my parents signed me up for packball—commonly known as soccer for people who aren’t tall enough to ride rollercoasters. My fond soccer memories include:
1. A kick directly to the face by a teammate which resulted in a bloody nose and my coach attempting to carry me off the field like a baby while I tried my best to squirm out of his arms. My nose was bleeding, but my legs still worked, jackass.
2. Eating oranges until I was ready to vomit.
3. My mom sitting in her plum with gold trim Chrysler Town & Country minivan drinking coffee and reading the paper. She was a child of the Cold War and soccer was not the sport of democracy.
Despite being 4 feet tall and weighing 36 pounds (do the math, that’s not a pound per inch), I was brainwashed into switching from soccer to flag football as a tater tot . . . Clearly, football was a sport in which I had reasonable hopes for endorsements, a professional contract, or, at the very least, a scholarship.
As I got older, soccer meant one of two things. Option A was my conscription into service as a ball girl for Transy soccer games. Allegedly, the women’s soccer and softball teams were “sister sports” at Transylvania and, as a member of the softball team, I was responsible for acting as ball girl at a few soccer games each season. I HATED it. Why? Because the soccer players were mean and yelled at me. Why? Because it was obvious I wanted to be day/evening drinking somewhere and was constantly out of position. A stationary wheelbarrow full of inflated soccer balls would have been more useful. Option B was that I was attending a Transy soccer game as a fan. In turn, that meant either I had been daydrinking or I had been daydrinking and needed an excuse to put on facepaint.
Unfortunately, between my youth soccer experience and college soccer experience, I was the stereotypical American soccer fan. For instance, I cared just enough about soccer during World Cup years to skip class/work and meet people at a bar in the morning to watch soccer/be a Patriot/get my drink on (see a theme?). But that all changed when I met (aka Google stalked) Pia Sundhage.
I am utterly obsessed with the US Women’s National Soccer Team, now. Sure, Hope Solo is a badass—best goalie in the world, hot, baby voice, purple jersey, bionic shoulder. We get it. At this point, I’d like to be head butted by Abby Wambach just to know how it feels to be the tying goal against Brazil or the go ahead goal against France. Megan Rapinoe scored against Colombia and grabbed ESPN’s corner microphone to sing a brief bit of “Born in the USA.” Awesome. But why is our US Women’s Nation Team able to rock so hard? Battle through the 123rd minute of a quarterfinal game after being a woman down from the 65th minute? Keep really tiny head bands on their heads for an entire game? I submit one answer: Coach Pia Sundhage.
Top Ten Reasons You Can’t Love Pia Enough:
1. I’m 95% certain she didn’t wear a bra during the game against Brazil. Pia says, “Short hair, don’t care.”
2. She has cleaned up and reunited our Women’s National Team after our calamitous appearance in the 2007 World Cup. Pia’s first step in repairing the damage done to the team (mostly in the morale department) was singing Bob Dylan’s “Times They Are A Changin” a cappella at the first team meeting of her first team training camp.
3. Speaking of Bob Dylan, former National Team defender, Kate Markgraf, has noted one of Pia’s many selling points is that she knows all of the lyrics and most of the guitar riffs to the collective works of Bob Dylan.
4. The saying “those who can’t do coach” does not apply to the Swedish soccer mastermind. She was on the Swedish national team for approximately 22 years (longer than some readers have been alive), finished 6th in FIFA voting for Women’s Player of the Century, and in 1988 was featured on a Swedish postage stamp. Seriously, your face on a stamp pretty much means you’re a hero—unless you waste money getting photo stamps of you and your boo for wedding invites or, if you’re single, you and your cat for holiday cards.
5. Because her quotes are extremely awesome: a. On why Hope Solo is the team’s No. 1 goalkeeper, “She’s playing the most minutes . . .” b. On Abby Wambach before the Olympics, “Abby Wambach. Dear Abby. She is fantastic. She is great. You can ask any coach or player in Europe. They look at Abby and say, ‘Wow. That’s a good player.’ I’m very happy with the way she improved her game. When I saw her at the first camp in December, she was not good.” c. On beating France, “We didn’t play well today. France played well.” d. Most importantly . . . Her thoughts on ruining Marta’s trip to Deutschland, “It's hard to put all the feelings that are going through my head right now into words. I come from Sweden, but this core American value of bringing the best out of one another is infectious. I'm very proud and happy to be coach of the USA.”
6. Sweden might have taken a victory from us in group play, but we stole Pia from the desolate existence of Scandinavian winters. In fact, the Swedes are still a little broken up about it. Pia is so good she’s been rumored to be a candidate for the Swedish National Team coaching position . . . the MEN’S Swedish National Team.
7. After the United States beat Brazil, Pia celebrated by playing air guitar on her leg across midfield.
8. She looks like Pete Carroll but isn’t a bad person.
9. According to Coach Pia, since she took over the team in 2008, she’s been pissed at her players approximately three times. That sounds absolutely insane if you’ve ever been a member of a good, bad or ugly sports team. If you’ve observed Team Tucker’s Life Draft Round #3 Pick, Parviz, it sounds like an impossible anger calculation for three minutes of a game. Her players love her because she’s positive. Pia prefers to praise the good aspects of her team’s game rather than criticizing the weaknesses. And as we all know, women are weak so we need constant praise or else we’ll start crying and spontaneously combust into a PMS mushroom cloud.
10. Her substitutions have been on the money. As I’ve already detailed, my soccer education was acquired on the short bus. However, my roommate (who my mom refers to as my husband) has a ton of soccer knowledge. We’ve conferred and decided (and so has every other person with half a brain) that Pia has been spot on with controlling her line-up. Starting with the first game of group play, Pia’s substitution of Lauren Cheney for Megan Rapinoe as a starter led to a goal and a team USA win. Pia picked Becky Sauerbrunn (starting in her first World Cup game ever) to replace Rachel Buehler in the semifinal game against France and she played like a baller. Most notably, Rapinoe and Alex Morgan came off the bench in the game against Brazil and breathed new life into an exhausted team USA. You might also recall a ridiculous cross, parked on a dime, from Rapinoe to Wambach to keep the Red, White, and Blue alive. Pia’s coaching is dirty. I think she’s made a deal with the devil and I couldn’t be more pleased with that decision.
11. BONUS: She’s got sweet moves.
I realize that many fans of this site are devoted soccer fans. I know you’ll be watching the game this Sunday whether Tucker’s Tales existed or not. For those of you who were like me BP (before Pia), I encourage you to turn off all the soccer comedy in your head, allow yourself to stop saying that women are “slower, lack skill, and are less physical,” and enjoy watching our women execute Coach Pia’s perfectly developed strategy to dismantle the tiny, androgynous, technical wizards that constitute the Japanese National Team. On Sunday, we’re going to drop a (nuclear) bomb on them . . . Too obvious? Yes. More tasteful than a tsunami joke? Questionable.
When a reporter asked her about President Obama coming to the World Cup Final on Sunday, Pia said, "I would say to him, just like to anyone, make if it you can. Because it is going to be phenomenal." You should tune in, too, because Coach Pia is never wrong.
|Posted by Kristen Geil on June 21, 2011 at 10:55 PM||comments (2)|
I've bee in Peru the past couple of weeks... but guess what guys-
And I missed you!
How's that for picture juxtaposition?
For those of you who don't know, I've been in Peru on a mountain climbing trip for a couple of weeks. It was an awesome trip and I loved it, but I had limited access to technology. More than a few times a day, I found myself thinking something immediately followed by "I wish I could tweet that."
Well lucky for you all, I started writing my fake tweets down and will now attempt to commemorate my trip using this method. Chronological order. Enjoy, readers.
*Clay courts in a seaside cliff park. Where's @tuckally when I need her?
*Quechua women dress sassy.
*I refuse to eat guinea pig here, even if it's the national speciality. #sorryimnotsorry
*This may be my last tweet. I'm in a bus on a bumpy road winding along a cliff.
*But at least I'm riding first class. #priorities
*No llamas to carry my stuff. I guess donkeys will do.
*I thought bugs were in the jungle, not the mountains.... aghhhh #nobugspray
* For being on a 9 day trek, I feel like a princess #singletent
*Singing out loud as I hike. Clearly missing #MNK
*Revelation: Hiking = WALKING
*Livestock traffic jam. One lane blocked.
*#Thingsiwishibrought: Uggs, febreze, bug spray
*I just had a three course meal in a dining tent with candles and tablecloth- at a campsite in a Peruvian valley. #confusion
*I may be in a tent, but I still sleep with my sleep mask #diva @contwy
*Nosebleed. So this is what it feels like to be @twitterlessbeckygonch
*I miss watching music videos in the dark with @laysonbelle
*The constant smell of cow dung on the trail reminds me of Double Stink Hog Farm. Oddly comforting,
*@twitterlessbeckygonch let me use her backpack and I keep finding remnants of her. Earrings, iPod charger, speeding ticket, blue M&M...
*Another day, another hike to a glacial lake.
*Our guide, Rudolfo, hikes with his hands in his pockets #casual
*Just saw the mountain in the Paramount pictures logo! I feel famous
*Washed my hair on some rocks by the side of a river #mermaidtweet
*Just passed a fellow hiker- old Asian man in a blue bonnet with clouds on it. Where is @twitterlessbeckygonch?
*#ifiwereaboy I wouldn't be dehydrated from avoiding going to the bathroom by not drinking enough
*Learning how to tie climbing knots is way too complicated for someone who still uses bunny ears to tie her shoes.
*Our cook, Jorge, hikes in pinstripe pants #nobigdeal
*Hairwrap holding up surprisingly well
*Our campsite tonight is overrun by sheep and burros. At least I'll be warm tonight.
*At base camp. It's so windy I'm legit nervous me and my tent will blow away tonight.
*Mountain crevasse rescue training is a million times scarier than any lifeguard training.
*24 hours from now I will have had a hot shower in a real bathroom #paradise
*Oh, and I'll have summitted a mountain too #afterthought
*When you wake up at 2 am to climb a mountain, it's only natural to listen to "Look At Me Now" and eat Oreos to psych yourself up.
*We are walking up a snow hill in heavy boots. My calves are screaming and I want to cry. Rudolfo, meanwhile, is casually chatting with a solo climber. Typical.
*I just jumped over an ice crevasse. I JUST JUMPED OVER AN ICE CREVASSE
*Ice climbing a 60 degree incline wall. Rudolfo, of course, did it without ropes.
*Near the top! Clouds look like cotton candy.
* SUMMIT! Not as glamorous as I'd imagined. Clinging to an ice wall because no one knows where the snow turns into bottomless abyss.
*On the way down. Rappelling in ice and snow is a far way from my previous training at Cathedral Domain
*Another ice crevasse jump aaaaand back on solid ground. Thank God.
*Wait we still have to hike 2 hours to the road carrying all our gear? #fuck
*My backpack is so heavy that I'm sure if I fall I'm going to look like a turtle that's stuck on its shell.
*Car! Road! Civilization!
*Driving through Peruvian countryside is only enhanced by the melodies of Keke Palmer.
*Hot shower! Pizza Beer! Bed! And a summit to boot. In the words of Lonely Island, "If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best
*Got my picture taken with llamas wearing sunglasses. I can come home now.
*First class bus ride back to Lima. Wifi is great, food sucks. At least I got to watch that Percy Jackson movie?
*11 am Mass at the Catedral de Lima. I'm a better Catholic abroad than I am at home. #sorrymom
*Michael Jackson impersonators doing street performances! Possibly the highlight of the trip.
* Police shut them down so they moved to a department store. Poor yellow hippo is about to get overshadowed.
*Spent my last day in Lima being super American. Starbucks, Burger King, and the X Men movie. #longhairdontcare
*Peruvian airport drugstores sell Xanax at $5 a pop. Why can't all cities be this enlightened?
And finally- the tweet my trip ended on:
*Wheels up in Lexington. I didn't buy a tshirt in Peru, but got two UK ones in the airport. #longhairdontcare
Nothing like being back in the Bluegrass. GO CATS!
|Posted by Ally Tucker on June 12, 2011 at 12:20 AM||comments (0)|
I WAS IN AN ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS 4 WKS (2005), I BECAME DISFIGURED. I HAVE A FURRY WILL TO SURVIVE & I AM COMPLETELY HEALED. I REQUIRE MEDICATION DURING THE DAY TO KEEP MY EYES MOIST. I WILL ALWAYS LOOK DIFFERENT BUT I AM IN NO PAIN! I HAVE SEEN 10 VETS AND THEY CAN ATTEST TO THAT! IM A HAPPY KITTY AND HOPE TO HELP OTHER HUMANS FEEL JUST AS GREAT ABOUT THEMSELVES AND REALIZE THAT NOT EVERYONE LOOKS PERFECT AND THAT IS OK. =^..^=
Sleeping, drinking milk, fast gallops down the hallway at 2am, sticking my face in any round object (i.e. duck tape roll, bowls, pots, pans, salsa jars)
If being Facebook friends with Chase is not quite enough, worry not...she has a blog as well.
The Facebook page is interesting, but the blog really gives you a more in depth look into the life of Chase.
For example, Chase likes to dress up for holidays:
Also, Chase has fans who send her gifts, such as portraits...