We all grew up with the proverb. Try and try until you succeed. And it seemed like wholesome, good advice. But I would submit that trying has a negative component. Let me ask you this. Are you trying to stop over trading your account? Are you trying to stop hesitating before entering a trade? Are you trying to stop fighting your way out of losing trades instead of just getting out? Are you trying to follow your trading rules?
It comes down to this. If you're trying, you're not succeeding. When somebody tells you that they'll try to get to your party, you know they won't come. I remember once a motivational speaker asked a member of the audience to try and pick up a bunch of papers. When the person picked them up, the speaker said, "No. Don't pick them up. Try and pick them up." Finally the audience member placed his hands on the papers and pretended to try unsuccessfully to pick up the papers.
Remember the children's story about the little engine that could? The engine said, "I think I can. I think I can." Finally, the little engine said, "I thought I could. I thought I could." Success came to the little engine who took action. It wasn't a story about the little engine that tried.
What is it about trying that seems to work against us? The first definition of the Oxford American Dictionary for try is to attempt, to make an effort to do something. Perhaps effort or attempt does not contemplate success but rather struggle.
One of my clients reported to me that he used to try very hard not to get stuck in losing trades, not to fight against the market. And yet he invariably would from time to time refuse to take off a losing trade and find himself fighting against his very own indicators struggling not to have a losing trade or a losing day. He'd dig the hole deeper and deeper and end up the "failure" he didn't want to be. Now, he says he's not trying, and he's not doing it.
Through our work something shifted for this client. His intentions changed. His confidence level rose. His beliefs changed. His perceptions altered. His automatic response to a losing trade or losing day was different. He interpreted a losing trade or day as simply that. No big deal. He was still the competent trader who would go on to win.
The little engine that could had confidence in its ability to get to the top of the hill. It intended to succeed. It perceived the uphill journey as an adventure of possibility.
If you're trying to do or not do something in your trading and you're not succeeding, you need to shift something. Ask yourself, "What would I need to believe in order to do or not do this?" "How would I have to interpret this event in order to handle it differently?" "What are my real underlying intentions in regard to this situation?" "How would I have to feel about myself in order to succeed at this?"
If you're trying and not succeeding in some aspect of your trading, don't try, try again. Do something different. Change your interpretations. Modify a belief. Alter your guidelines. Allow yourself to feel differently about the consequences of the behavior you're trying to do or not to do. What if you can become the little trader that can? What if you can become the big trader that could?
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