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| Jokes
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Things to say to the policeman:
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from "Village People"?
Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police
officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night
stand.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at
McDonalds.
I pay your salary.
So uh, you on the take or what?
Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars
around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my
lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed
out of control.
Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?
You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.
Yes, I know the light was red, but nothing was coming.
In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?
If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so d*mn uptight.
Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching?
Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either!
Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut!
Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?
I saw the ambulance, but I was going faster than him anyway.
Do you have any idea who you're talking to?
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