The Wisdom Of Titus Pullo

SERMONES PULLONIS

PARENTAL ADVISORY: These Pages Contain Strong Legionary Language!

HAGAE COMITIS MMVI

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CONTENT

Frontpage

Content

Introduction

Chapter I: Pullo in Gaul

Chapter II: Pullo in Rome, before Pharsalus

Chapter III: Pullo on the Road

Chapter IV: Pullo in Rome, after Pharsalus

Epilogue: Titus Pullo: history, story and series

The Tao of Titus, by Livia Augusta

Acknowledgements

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INTRODUCTION

The character of Titus Pullo in the HBO series "ROME" has gained a great deal of popularity with those who watched the series, not only because of his direct and reckless behaviour and his love for women of all kinds, but also because of his verbal caprioles, his direct, plebeian tongue.

His role in this series about a serious and bloody period in Roman history puts a smile on your face. Yet, Pullo is often the victim of a sad sort of Fortune. This has also given him the nickname of "Poor Pullo" on many occasions, but the hero of the Thirteenth Legion always seeks and finds the Silver Lining.

On these pages we have gathered all his sayings, the evidences of Pullo’s partcular view on Roman life in his day and age. And what’s more, we even managed to catch them in his very own language, a very special and particular sort of Latin, the tongue of the Great Pleb himself.

Have your fill of Pullo’s wisdom, enjoy being with him in a camp prison in Gaul, on patrol with his old accomplice Lucius Vorenus in the Cadurci Lands, in a Roman bar or harlot house, at home in his private corner of Vorenus’ insula, inside Cleopatra’s caravan, down the Cloaca drain or at life’s very bottom end in Erastes Fulmen’s party and, finally, holding hands with the love of his life Eirene.

Wherever you go there’s Pullo to take with you. He will take you by the hand and wander with you to show you his Roman World. We surely hope it will be a pleasant journey!

TANAQUIL SERGIUS

Me, I have simple tastes. I like to kill my enemy, take their gold and enjoy their women. Why tie yourself to one? Where’s the flavour? Where’s the joy?

Pullo

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CHAPTER I: PULLO IN GAUL

(Rome, episodes 1 and 2)

Is that it? I was just beginning to enjoy myself.

Itane res se habet? Modo hoc delectari incipiebam.

You pissdrinking sons of circus whores!

Vos mictumbibuli filii pallacarum!

And me in here!

Atqui ego heic sum!

Forculus! If you be the right god for the business here, I call on you to help. If you will open this door, then I will kill for you a fine white lamb. Or failing that, If I can’t find a good one for a decent price, then, say, six pigeons. This, Forculus, I vow to you…

Forcule! Si tu es ipse deus ad rem, te imploro. Si ianuam hanc aperies, bonum album agnum tibi occidam. Si autem fallo, si bonum agnum medio pretio invenire non potero, tunc tibi dono....dic, sex turtures. Forcule, id votum tibi solvam…

I won’t even stand next to this shortarsed shit, leave alone serve under him. I’ll stay here, thanks very much.

Etiam iuxta hunc brevi ano cacatorem me non sistere volo minimeque eum servabo. Heic manebo, si tibi placet.

You ride well, almost as well as me…..almost as well as me, sir. Me, I’m a natural. My father was an Ubian probably.

Bene equitas. Me prope aequas..... Me prope aequas, domine. Ego ad equos natus sum. Veri simile est pater meus Ubius fuisse.

Listen, sir, thank you for taking me on this job. Noble way to make amends. For getting me into this cac by calling me names. I won’t forget. Titus Pullo never forgets a favor.

Ehi, domine, gratias tibi ago me partem mandati facienti. Recte iniuriam redemisti. Quia me increpuisti atque me in cacam iniecisti. Immo, numquam obliturus sum. T. Pullo numquam operae praebitae obliviscitur.

Thirteenth never fails, eh?

XIII legio numquam fallit, annon?

If I’m dead already then, sir, you should take care how you speak to me. I’ve got nothing to lose. What’s to stop me cutting you into little gobs, and riding off, eh? What’s to stop me, sir?

Si iam mortuus sum, domine, verba tua caveas! Damni nihil facio quod te frusta conseco et fugio. Eh? Damni nihil facio!

British women, now, that’s savage cunny…Have to hunt ‘em down like deer. Might once you have them under you, they're slack as your best Narbo scortum.

Feminae Britannae, haec cunnos saevos habent. Eas ut cervos venari debes. Cum primum eas subdomitas habeas...infirmae ut optimum Narbonis scortum.

Me, I have simple tastes. I like to kill my enemy, take their gold and enjoy their women. Why tie yourself to one? Where’s the flavour? Where’s the joy?

Sapor mihi simplex est. Hostes occidere, aurum eorum auferre, feminis eorum frui mihi placet. Quare una femina contentus esse? Ubi sapor, ubi gaudium?

Nice horse.

Bellus equus.

Look here, Mars! Look here, Mars! I am Titus Pullo. And these bloody men, my gift to you!

Adsis, Mars! Ecce, Mars! Sum Titus Pullo! Hi cruenti viri tibi dati sunt a me!

Fine way for a slave to talk. You won’t get far with a mouth like that on you.

Numquid optimus modus dicendi servo est? Talis bucca te procul non feret.

Blue Spaniards!

Hispani Caerulei!

Ahai! Here I come, girls! I’m going to drink all the wine, smoke all the smoke and fuck every whore in the City.

Hahae! Puellae, advenio! Omne vinum bibam, omnem herbam sugam et omnem lupam in Urbe futuam.

Three hours away from a wife he hasn’t seen in eight years. The man’s terrified. Terrified. What if she’s lost her teeth? What if she’s gotten skinny? What if she’s been letting other men get between her legs and…

Tres horas abest ab uxore VIII annos non visa. Mortis metus eum capit. Mortis metus! Quid ad eam omnes dentes perditam? Quid si strigosa facta est? Quid si alios viros inter crures accepit et...

End of Chapter I

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CHAPTER II: PULLO IN ROME BEFORE PHARSALUS

(Rome, episode, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

…..Howmany dead altogether? I don’t know. Lost count ages ago. Lots tough.

Quantum cunctorum mortuorum? Nescio. Diu numerando oblitus sum. Atqui multi sunt.

Priests. Crooks many of ‘em. I just talk direct to whatever god I’m dong business with. Bugger the priests.

Sacerdotes! Multi eorum fraudatores. Ego solum ad quemcumque deum loquor, cum quo negotium facio. Sacerdotes istos futue!

Then I’m no man of honor then, because I say Caesar should ride in here with elephants and squash Pompey and Cato and anybody else that wants it. Never mind the law. That’s what I say.

Ergo non sum honorabilis, quoniam id aestimo, ut Caesar ad hunc locum proficisatur elephantibus et Pompeium, Catonem, omnem alium cupientem perfringat. Quid ad legem! Id est quod aestimo.

(Vorenus is my superior officer) by virtue of rank, if nothing else.

(Vorenus centurio meus est) ordinis si non alii gratia.

Go with Fortune, sir.

Fortuna tecum sit, domine.

Let’s play.

Age, ludamus.

Sort. We’re all Romans, eh?

Sit. Omnes Romani, annon?

Come on ladies, hear me now. Furies and River Gods for Five.

Agite, mulierculae, audite me. Furiae et Fluviales cum quinque.

Wise men and Graces on four.

Magi et Gratiae cum quattuor.

They piss on my face? They piss on my face!

Oculosne meos mingunt? In oculos meos mingunt!

Twin River Gods on two. Come up, you mumping cunnies!

Gemelli Fluviales cum duo. Agedum, fututrices cunni!

Run and hide, run and hide (you red Gaulish cunnies), The Thirteen are coming and your men are all dead…

Fugite, vos latescite, fugite et vos latescite (rubentes cunni Gallici), adveniunt Tertia Decima et omnes viri mortui (sunt)....

Marry me, goddess.

Mihi nube, dea.

E’ou, he is no skilled hand with the women. But in all those years I fought with him he never took a woman. "Pullo", he’d say, "Pullo my old friend, I have a wife back home, Niobe is her name and she’s worth more to me than the women of Gaul."

Eho, de feminis non cognovit. Sed omnes annos, in quis sum eo proeliavi, numquam feminam sumpsit. "Pullo", dicebat, "Pullo, vetule mi amice, uxorem domi habeo nomine Niobae, quae mihi plus quam omnes Gallicae valet."

It’s too late now. We’re across. We’re in Italy. You’re a rebel whether you like it or not.

Nunc serum est. In Italiam transgressi sumus. Seditor invitus es.

Eh, we’ll be alright. Have some more water…..Don’t be foolish. Drink.

Ehi, salvi erimus. Age, plus aquae sume….Noli stolidus esse. Bibe.

There are girls from Narbo to Thebes that cry my name by night.

Puellae a Narbone ad Thebas sunt, quae nocte nomen meum vocant.

I don’t know. You’re the clever one, you.

Nescio. Tute callidus es!

What care you what she feels for you if we’re all going to die this week or next?

Quare curas, quid de te sentiat, cum cuncti post septem aut quindecim dies morituri simus?

Why not (fight)? The boys are ready, aren’t you, boys? Let’s have a go.

Quare (pugnandum non est)? Copiae paratae sunt, nonne estis, pueri? Agedum, porro!

…..Course, your best method for pleasing a woman is the warm beating heart of an enemy. Women say they don’t like it, but they do. Makes them wet as October.

Scilicet, optimus modus feminae placendi flagrans et palpitans cor imimici est. Feminae id sibi non placere aiunt, vero eis placet. Uvidae et madentes ut mensis October fiunt.

Well, failing that, talk to her. [Of what?] Doesn’t matter. It’s all about the tone of the voice. You pretend like you’re putting a saddle on a skittish horse: “There honey…Shh..come now.” That sort of thing.

Ehi, si id fallit, cum ea fabulare. [De qua re?] Nihil interest. Omni ex parte de sono vocis agit. Cura ut simules ephippium in equum consternatum ponere: "Eia, mellita….Sst…agedum." Ea et talia dicas.

What else? Well. Tell her she is beautiful all the time. Tell her she is beautiful, every time you see her. Even when she is not.

Quid aliud? Ehi…Omni tempore venustam esse ei dic. Venustam esse ei dicere te oportet, quoque tempore ut eam videas. Etiam, cum venusta non sit.

Oh, also, very important, when you couple with her, there’s a spot just above her cunny, like a little button. Now, attend to that button; she will open up like a flower.

Ah, haec quoque res magni ponderis: cum coitum cum ea habeas, loculus super cunnum adest, ut umbilicus. Age, de illo umbilico bene agas; ut flos illa se aperiet.

(Spots above cunnies:) All women have them. Ask anyone.

(De loculis super cunnos:) Omnes feminae eos habent. Quemvis roga.

Our boys scared ‘em off, eh?

Copiae nostrae eos territaverunt, annon?

Maybe he (Mars) was having a crap and missed it.

Fortasse (Mars) cacam deponebat et ideo rem non vidit.

How much do you want for the girl?

Quantum puella constat?

But yet the sky is still above us and the earth is still below. Strange.

At caelum adhuc super nos et terra adhuc sub nobis est. Ecce insolita res.

Let’s go back and see what was in the wagon. Untie that girl.

Age, redeamus, ut videamus quid in raeda fuit. Et ut puellam exsolvamus.

But that poor girl...

At illa puella misera…

You are a mean bastard, that’s your problem. You’ve no love in you. You can talk sweet as you like to Niobe, won’t do you any good. She won’t believe a word.

Sordidus scelestus es, haec est tua res. Nihil amoris in te inest. Dulce ad Nioben tibi loquendum est ut vis, hoc nequiquam erit. Nihilum de te credet.

You can’t just leave the Thirteenth…

Tertiam Decimam fere relinquere non poteris…

Oi. A clamor for my beloved friend Lucius.

Eho. Ovationem demus caro amico meo Lucio.

Why so glum and gloomy?

Sed quare tam maesti et tristes estis?

You be off now, short-ass. And take this scum with you.

Abi nunc, homuncule. Et hanc sentinam tecum fer.

The way I see it, we put little Quintus here in the Tiber right off, get us a wagon, sneak out to where the gold’s buried, dig it up, ride like Zephyrus for the coast and get the first tide to Spain.

Sicut mihi videtur, hunc pusillum Quintum in Tiberim iniciamus, currum prehendamus, ad aurum infossum accedamus, id effodiamus, Zephyri pares ad litus adeamus et primum aestuum accessum ad Hispaniam capiamus.

Here’s me, come to share a god sent gift with you, and all –

Ecce ego donum divinum cum te communicans, et solum quod –

Fine, then. I’ll be off, then. Good luck to you, sir.

Bene. Agedum, abii. Sit tibi bona Fortuna, domine.

Well, it’s like this, your honour, it, he, this one come to find the gold. The gold that Pompey’s boys stole from the Treasury, sir.

Agedum, honeste domine. Istud, iste, hicce ad aurum repperiendum venit. Aurum, quod Pompeii copiae ex Aerario surripuerunt, domine.

Now, I meant no disrespect and had I known the gold was from the Treasury I’d not have touched it, but, well….there was this girl here…

Age, nihil nefandi facere volui et si aurum ex aerario esse cogitassem, id non tetigissem, at, age... haec puella aderat...

It’s all safe, sir. I buried it. Uh, deep in the woods, couple of miles from the Flaminian Gate.

Omne tutum est, domine. Aurum infodi. Em, imis in silvis, bina milia a Porta Flaminia.

‘Morning. Trouble you for some water?

Salvete. Nonne aquam poscere possum?

(Vorenus: You should be in camp)

(Vorenus: in castris esse te oportet)

Nothing to do there. It’s boring.

Eo loco nihil agnedumst. Locus taedii plenus est.

(Vorenus: take some bread)

(Vorenus: paulum panis sume)

I’ll not, thanks. I’m not feeling too well.

Non sumam, si tibi placet. Paululum aegrotus sum.

(Vorenus: you drink too much)

(Vorenus: nimium bibis)

No, it’s not that. I ate some depraved oysters.

Non ad bibendum pertinet. Ostreas corruptas edi.

(Vorenus: where is your girl?)

(Vorenus: puella tua, ubi est?)

Girl?......Cac.

Puellane?....Cac.

(Vorenus: stop worrying. Even if we can’t find her, you can get another)

(Vorenus: animo angi sine. Etiamsi eam invenire non possumus, aliam servam emere possis)

I don’t want another. I want Eirene.

Aliam non volo. Eirenen cupio.

I can’t just leave her. I just like to look at her. Makes me calm.

Eam modo relinquere non possum. Modo eam aspicere mihi placet. Hoc mihi quietem affert.

There she is. Thank you, Apollo!

En, ibi est. Gratias ad Apollinem!

What’s owed? You should be paying me to drink the pond filth you serve here!

Debitane? Mihi aquam stagni sordidi hic servitam bibendi solviturus esses!

I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.

Quam celerrime tibi resolvam.

Pullo is referred to by Atia as "the cheerful brutish one".

(To Octavius:) You’re just not used to it. Takes time. I’ve seen you kill. There’s plenty of soldier in you.

(Ad Octavium:) Rebus militariis modo usus non es. Tempus requirit. Te necantem vidi. Multum rei militariae in te inest.

Never fear, young dominus. We’ll make a regular terror of you.

Numquam veritus sis, iuvenis domine. Te verum terrorem reddemus.

Young dominus, I need your advice on a delicate matter, if you’d be willing. Suppose you saw something which made you suspect something. Something terrible. Would you tell the husband of the suspicious article?

Iuvenis domine, consilio tuo in re delicata egeo, si dare velles. Cogita, ut aliquid videres de quo suspicionem haberes. Aliquid horridum. Nonne marito de suspiciosa re narrares?

I knew you’d hit the jugular.

Te rem acu tangere cognoveram.

Here we are then, friend.

Agedum, heic sumus, amice.

If he says you’re lying, then I believe him. This boy’s clever like you don’t know what.

Si te mentiri dicit, eo credo. Hic puer callidus est ut nemo alius atque nihil aliud.

(Octavius: Torture him.)

(Octavius: Torque eum.)

Juno’s cunt, but you’re salty! And I was worried about bringing you.

Per Iunonis cunnum, re vera facete dictum! Et ego cavi, ut te adferrem.

(Octavius: Go on then.)

(Octavius: Agedum, torque.)

I’ve never actually tortured anyone. I don’t know how.

Re vera numquam aliquem torsi. Nescio ut faciendumst.

(Octavius: You don’t know how?)

(Octavius: Nescisne ut faciendumst?)

They have specialists.

Tortores ad eam rem adhibentur.

(Octavius: why not cut off his thumbs?)

(Octavius: Quare pollices eius non abscidis?)

That’s good enough. It’s a start.

Hoc satis habeo. Initium est.

Mump off and die, pigfucker.

Fututum confice et obi, porcifututor.

Ah, thank you, my honey.

Ehi, gratias tibi, mellita mea.

Happy again this morning. Niobe, then? How’s she going?

Quam gaudens hodie mane. Ergo, ad Nioben refert. Ut valet?

(Vorenus: I don’t understand her. All ahoo over her sister’s damn husband.)

(Vorenus: Eam non intellego. De sororis marito damnato valde sollicita est.)

Women, eh? Maybe she’s, she’s...?

Ita mulieres sunt, annon? Fortasse…fortasse ...?

(Vorenus: She’s what?)

(Vorenus: Fortasse quid?)

I don’t know. Women, eh!

Nescio. Mulieres, eh!

Out!

Abite!

So, keeping their promises, eh? Caesar and Mark Antony – doing right by the people. That was your worry, wasn’t it? That Caesar would turn out to be just another tyrant sort. But here’s him and Mark Antony getting jobs for the unemployed. Now you can’t complain about that now, can you?

Ergo promissis stantes, annon? Caesar et M. Antonius – benignitatem in populum adhibentes. Haec tua cura fuit, annon? Ut Caesar modo alius tyranni typus esse se praeberet. At ecce ille et M. Antonius laborem hominibus sine negotiis praebentes. Age, illud queri non poteris, annon?

Hey, Mark Antony has his odd ways, there’s no denying that.

Heia, M. Antonius insolitam viam vivendi habet, hoc non recusandum est.

(Vorenus: I’m not going home. I need a drink.)

(Vorenus: Domum non eam. Vino egeo.)

Drink? You?

Vinone? Tune?

(Vorenus: I. Drink. What of it?)

(Vorenus: Ego. Vino egeo. Quid?)

I’ll not argue.

Non dissentiam.

(Vorenus: I thought it was going well for a while, but now…Maybe I should beat her, you think?)

(Vorenus: Nos aliquo tempore bene valere cogitabam, sed nunc…Fortasse eam percuterem, reris?)

Oh, I don’t know. That only works if keep at it. A good thrashing once or twice a day till they’re docile. But then they don’t look so good. Be a shame to mark up a beauty like her.

Eh, nescio. Hoc solum vim habet si continuas. Bonas plagas semel aut bis in dies dum dociles sunt. At tunc non tam pulcrae videntur. Venustati ut ei signum adhibere doleres.

It’s alright, lamb. It’ll be alright.

Satis bene est, agne mi. Satis bene erit.

If there’s no wine, water will do.

Si vinum non adest, aqua sufficiet.

Thank you, my dove.

Gratias tibi, columba mea.

So, Lyde, I was, uh, asking around, y’know, about your man, there. Evander. See if I could find out anything for you. Only, I know a few shady characters, see. Types that might know what’s what when a man’s gone missing. Any road…They tell me that he got himself into some trouble with some nasty Greek boys across the river. Gambling debts, they say.

Ergo, Lyde, em, de marito tuo illo, videsne, Evandro, circumrogavi. Ut videam si quid tibi audirem. Videsne, modo paucos vagos viros cognovi. Figurae quae rem de viro amisso cognovissent. Quoquo modo...Ei aliquas malas res cum vulgaribus Graeculus trans flumen contigisse mihi dixerunt. De debitis in ludo talario, mihi dixerunt.

(Lyde: Gambling? Evander never gambled.)

(Lyde: In ludo talario? Evander numquam talis lusit.)

Well, sure, it’s the sort of thing a man keeps quiet around his wife, innit?

Ehi, certe, hoc est quod vir uxori suae non narraret, annon?

(Lyde: Quid mihi dicere vis?)

I’m sorry to say, but it looks like he’s not coming home. Dead, looks like.

Me id dicere pudet, sed domum revenire non videtur. Mortuus est, ut videtur.

(Lyde: Are you sure?)

(Lyde: Certusne de ea re es?)

So they tell me. Dead. Killed.

Hoc mihi dixerunt. Mortuus. Necatus.

(Lyde: It isn’t true.)

(Lyde: Verum non est.)

My advice….Best forget about him. Best get on with your life.

Hoc tibi consulam…Melius est eo oblivisci. Melius vitam tuam continuere.

(Lyde: It isn’t true.)

(Lyde: Verum non est.)

It’s not so bad. You’ve still got people that love you. Look to them, eh. Isn’t that right, Niobe? Best she gets on with her life. Best she looks to people that love her. Forget Evander. Forget the past.

Tam male non est. Adhuc tibi sunt qui te cari habent. Eos cura. Nonne rem teneo, Niobe? Melius est ut vitam continuat. Melius est, ut eos curat, qui eam cari habent. Evandro obliviscere. Tempore praeterito obliviscere.

Well, I’m away. Need a drop of wine to set me up for the day.

Ei, exeo. Pauco vini egeo ut diem incipiam.

(Atia: Titus Pullo, didn’t I tell you to sort that (i.e. Octavius penetrating a woman) out? I’m sure I did.)

(Atia: Tite Pullo, nonne te id (i.e. Octavium mulierem penetrantem) curare iussi? Vere id iussisse certa sum.)

I, um....Sorry, ma’am. I’ll see to it.

Em…Veniam rogo, domina. Id fieri curabo.

(Atia: Do that. (To Octavius) Don’t worry, darling. There’s really nothing to it. Once you’re in the saddle, as it were, it’ll all come naturally. Isn’t that right, Pullo?)

(Atia: Age, id cures. (ad Octavium) Noli metuere, deliciae. Vere actum simplex est. Cum primum quasimodo coire coepisti omnia recta fient. Nonne verum est, Pullo?)

That’s right, ma’am.

Verum est, domina.

(Atia: And none of your sordid soldier she-wolves, mind you. Something clean and pretty.)

(Atia: At nullam sordidam lupam militariam adhibeas, sed aliquam pudicam et pulchram.)

Clean and pretty it is.

Pudicam et pulchram adhibebo.

Coming through. Noble coming through. Make way there. Don’t worry, young master. There’s nothing to it.

Praeterimus. Nobilis praeterit. Agite et discedite. Ne cures, iuvenis domine. Ad nihilum pertinet.

(Octavius: If there’s nothing to it, why is such a fuss made of the thing?)

(Octavius: Si ad nihilum pertinet, cur ista res sic exponitur?)

You’ll soon find out.

Illud cito intelleges.

(Madame: Vai, vai! Be off with you. This is no infantry fuck hole, thank you very much.)

(Lena: Vae, vae! Abire. Hoc peditibus lupanar non est, si titbi placet.)

Now, my honey. Calm your stomach. We’ve come for the young master here. And we’re well coined.

Ahae, desine, mellita mea. Ventre quieto sis. Huic iuveni domino venti sumus. Et pleni pecuniae sumus.

(Madame: Oh! Well, excuse me, of course. I meant no disrespect. We’re honored to service you, young master. And what would be the young master’s pleasure?)

(Lena: Ei! Age, me excusate, scilicet. Aliquem offendere non volui. Honorati sumus ut te serviamus, iuvenis domine. Et quid iuveni domino placeret?)

First timer. Nothing too savory.

Primum lupanar visitat. Nihil nimium faceti adhibeas.

A little bit skinny, innit? Won’t know he’s been, will he? Won’t know you’ve been.

Paululum praegracilis, annon? Futuere non cognoverit, nonne verumst? Futuere non cognoveris.

(Octavius: That will be fine.)

(Octavius: Illud mihi bene placet.)

Hold on, young master. No point hurrying. Big decision, this. Let’s have a look at a couple more.

Morare, iuvenis domine. Festinare non interest. Magnus dilectus hic est. Age,aliqua plura aspiciamus.

(Madame: If we might dispense with the pecuniary detail.)

(Lena: Si nunc ad pecuniam transire poterimus?)

Oh. Right. What’s your price, then?

Em, recte. Age, quantum id constat?

(Madame: One thousand)

(Lena: Mille.)

Gerrae! I could have half the whores in Narbo for that. And their mothers.

Gerrae! Narbone illo pretio dimidiam partem omnium luparum et matres suas haberem.

(Madame: We’re not in Narbo....wherever that might be.)

(Lena: Narbone non sumus…ubicumque is locus esset.)

Alright, my dove. We’ll pay. But the girl better fuck him like Helen of Troy with her ass on fire or I’ll know the reason why.

Satis bene, columba mea. Solvemus. Atqui illa puella eum melius futuat ut Helena Troiana culo accenso aut rem veram cognovero.

Nice place, this. Clean. I don’t suppose…seeing as how I’m with the quality…

Haec domus mihi placet. Nitida. Ehem, non reor…ut constet quomodo qualitas mihi intersit…

(Madame: Not a chance.)

(Lena: Non fiet.)

Mm, there he is. Young Apollo. How was it?

Age, ibi est, iuvenis Apollo. Quomodo evenit?

(Octavius: It was…pleasant.)

(Octavius: …Placuit.)

Pleasant. I should say so. How was he?

Placuit. Id exspectassem. Quomodo fecit?

(Egeria: Like bull.)

(Egeria: Ut taurus.)

(to Eirene) You be a good girl. Do as you’re told.

(ad Eirenen) Tu puella lepida sis. Fac sicut iussa eris.

This is cac, this is. I’m wet through.

Hoc est cac, hocce. Madidus sum!

(Vorenus: We’re perfectly safe. A very good offering was made to Triton.)

(Vorenus: Tutissimi sumus. Optimum sacrificium Tritoni datum erat.)

If Triton can’t keep me drier than this, he can suck my cock.

Si Triton me sicciorem hac re haberes non potest, sopionem meum sugat!

(Vorenus: Why can’t you learn to keep your fat moth shut?)

(Vorenus: Quare discere non potes ut pingui bucca taceas?)