Final Words
Everything went around, then i hit the ground.
Years of torement, and this treatment.
Finally reached, higher than preached.
After the past years, which had many tears.
Too far to climb, but too long a line.
Painted and trapped in a frame, made to feel lame but i didnt need the fame.
It all began to reek, to the very highest peak.
Unbelievable pain, not helped with the rain.
My family aggresive, my life was bound to be depressive.
life was selfish, like that undesired dish.
The world is fake, about to over bake.
Left for the bridge, to die a fridge.
With no love present, im close enough to break.
The shattering quake, which refuses to wake.
What shall become of my life?
When i find the killing knife?
Please dont bother to cry.
When this is my final goodbye.
xx
My Needs And Yours
i need someone yeh
but not just anyone
someone who can
someone who always
someone who only
sees the best
in my worst side
someone who refuses
to see anything but
the best in my worst
someone who can
someone who will
always keep
my interests
at heart
wont take the piss
and wont hurt me
to amuse themselves
i need someone
like they need me
not someone who
wants and needs me
not only wants
but really needs me
to want and need him
he'll never dream
of hurtin me
only of loving me
like i love him
xx
killing me
Sometimes i do
honestly do
regret alot
like never saying
never looking
never doing
never listening
never believing
never wanting
never loving
never liking
never hating
never having
never going
never watching
never trusting
and of course
never regreting
but then i do
honestly do
regret never regreting
i regret wishing
i didn't say that
regret
not saying this
not wanting this
i didn't need your help
and your regret
i needed your love
and your support
but i was always
supporting you
you never helped
never came
to save me
he was killing me
but you just watched
you just learned
learned from him
who killed my soul
and taught you how
to do the same
he killed me
then you finished me
i have nothing left
you took it all away
all that i had
was what he killed
as you watched
as you learned
as you you copied
as you killed
goodbye my soul
goodbye yours
so now
i never love
i never trust
i never believe
i never have
i never will
and nor will you
i'll make sure
you never can
ever again
he was my first
you were my last
no one knew
no one will
i wont tell
but have you
i'll be seeing you
seeing you soon
xx
Why Bother
i go through so much for you
im always looking out for you
but what do you do for me
you dont call me anymore
you dont ask me how i am
you dont visit me
im lonely
i need some company
but where are you
of course
your with the other me
ive always known
about you and her
just leave me
leave me to be lonely
i wont be lonely for long
i'll find someone else
i'll find a new you
like you found a new me
but i still love you
xx
Life Sucks
so my home life is shit
my money is shit
my work is shit
my relationship is shit
i hate my parents
i got no money
i got no work
i have no one to run to
no one to need
no one to love
my parents are selfish
my money is delayed
no vacancies here or there
no ones shoulder to cry on
no support from my family
another pile of paper work
another bad interview
another depressing day on my own
yet again we argue
a few more months wait
a few more phone calls
a long lonely night
another grounded weekend
another bill to wait
another cv copy
another love song out
no credit again
no love interests
more depression
more waiting
more bills
more depression
more waiting
more bills
more depressing love songs
another fake smile
another cv regected
another loan
another handful of pills
when will this end
when will i be wanted
when will my money come
when i find someone i love
xx
Mask
im always trying to please
but it never lasts long
im always trying to hide
but im never hiden for long
i try not to show
how i really feel
just stick it out
and not complain
just keep the mask straight
dont let it crack
dont let the string snap
got to keep a straight face
dont let that tear fall
but i cant let it pile too tall
if the string snaps
my world falls with it
what else can i do
they want to see me
the old me
the happy me
the always smiling me
otherwise they will worry
i cant let them worry
that would be selfish
i must not
most not be selfish
i cant
xx
fit in army
i know i must say this alot
but im only
reminding you of the truth
that is that
i shall be me
and u shall be u
no reason for change
no reason at all
everyone is equal
some just decide to be different
either for the sake of it
or just to stand out
or cus they like it
or cus they want to
show who they are
from the clothes they wear
not speech
their personality shows
they inspire others
to show who they
really are
from silence
and vision
i look up to them
not high powered
wealthy people
but those who are
not afraid
to stand out
and be different
but they are
treated like freaks
by those who fit it
these amazing people
who are not afraid
to wear what they choose
and are happy as themselves
they dont want to fit in
they dont want to be a robot
and join the
marching army
of fit in robots
following the marching orders
if they dont fit in
but the fit in club is
not so popular anymore
i wonder why
cus the inspiration is growing
and now the fit in club
are different
the fit in club
dont fit in
the fit in club
are freaks
what a coincidence
the tables have turned
now your not on top
in fact are you on at all
ha ha
xx
Say What
u can say
what you want
about me
it dont mean nothing to me
just means i got a life
thats good enough
for you to talk about
i have a life
i like my life
there may be a few
bad times
but my life has made me
who i am today
i would rather look strange
than die of hunger
i would rather wear
a huge coat
than get sick
when are you going to
realise that the world
is not built
around you
some people choose
to look how you want them to
but others choose
to dress how they want to
they dress their own way
for themselves
not for you
cus you mean nothing to them
xx
Will You Ever See
why cant you see
what is right in front of you
why cant you see
how i feel about you
i know i said different
but who wouldn't
i feel different
when ever you call
i feel different
when ever we talk
but you dont see that
but will you ever see that
i know you probably never will
cus your just like that
you dont see
what is laid on a plate for you
i wish you could
but i wont tell you
cus im scared
cus im scarred
i dont want to
be hurt again
i dont want to
be hurt by you
i know your different
different to all the rest
but that doesn't change
how i feel about you
your so nice
so good to me
i dont want to
ruin it
with my silly thoughts
of us together
i wish you could see though
but you cant
see me now
but will you ever
see me
xx
Trust
can trust you
but can you trust me
can i leave you
and come back to you
in tears that show
how i love you
i know im always planning
i know you dont like it
i plan not to soon
i can always make
you smile
and you can always make
me smile
can i give you space
and come back to
you on your own
not with the neighboor
if i leave you tonight
will you wait for me tomorow
if im lost
will you find me
if i go now
will you follow me
if i fall for someone else
will you fight for me
if i get sick
will you stay by me
or will you stray away
will you stay by me
if i do wrong
will you forgive me
if i say
i love you
will you say it back
xx
Still Mine
visit whenever
visit wherever
visit whoever
visit whatever
visit here
visit there
visit her
visit him
just as long as your
spending your nights
with me
just as long as
your keeping all your love
for me
i will love you always
i will love you forever
xx
Journey
so tired now
how am i going to last
if i cant survive the journey
the journey to your heart
the heart that will one day
one day break my heart
but i shall go along anyway
go along for the journey
but the journey is hard
as it always has been
but you will help me along
wont you
i wont make it
without your help
the journey is getting harder
and i need your help more than ever
or i wont make it
help me
help me through
this journey
x
Lonely friend
i've always been alone
naver had anyone
to love me
care for me
like me for me
not just for how i look
i've always been sick
i know i wont last long
i've always wanted
to make the most of my life
while i still can
i dont need anyones sympathy
i just need someone to love
and someone to love me
everyone else
has always had someone to love
they have never been alone
they have always been loved
i've always been the friend
the lonely friend
brought along for company
and comfort when things go wrong
i will never be in that situation
i will never be heartbroken
cus i have no one to break my heart
people think i must be desperate
cus i've never been with someone
im not though
i just want to be shown some love
from someone i can love back
but i cant find that someone
cus no one wants to love someone
who is sick to the bone
and wont last long
i like being company and comfort
but not forever
it will make it harder on me
it will become depressing soon
cus im not wanted
some dont want me around
but then some do
and i hate to dissapoint
but i hate to be in the way
it never works
and i am stuck in the middle
cus i was wanted
and not
no one thinks about
what its doing to me
xx
The girl behind the camera
Do you see that girl
that girl in the photo
can you really see her
or just what she looks like
can you see the real girl
the girl behind the photo
or can you just see
the girl in the photo
do you see that girl
that girl in the street
do you know her
do you recognise her
as the girl in the photo
see there is 2 sides to a girl
the side in the photo
where she can be herself
where she is in control
of the photos she takes
the photos she gives
and the photos she burns
she is in control
of who she is
but the girl you see
on the street
she has no control
of what image she gives
or burns
1 wrong look
can cost a life
her life
your life
xx
music and life
music is pretty much
my life
without music
i have nothing
without you
i have music
without my family
i have music
without my education
i have music
music has always been there
but then where esle can it go
it can go up and down the charts
xx
Change for who?
if you dont like the way i act then why do you talk to me
why do you bother me
i hate to disappoint
but i refuse to change and you know that
i have always been myself
i will never try to be someone else
what is the point
i want to be liked for myself
not for my looks or cus you think i look nice
i dont work like that
if you want a slut
then go somewhere else
cus i refuse
i am myself
thats all i shall ever be
even for you
x
Always and Never
Always waiting never late
always wanting never getting
always saving never spending
always giving never recieving
always used never using
always thinking never saying
always listening never listened to
always liking never hating
always watching never doing
always loving never loved
xx
Things Happen
i dont know why but these things always happen
dont ask me why
they always happen
just happen
its not my fault
they just come along and destroy me
they can cheer me up
but then they always drop me
i can always be found
but then no one can keep me
and i can never keep them
it just happens i guess
it will never change
cus they can always find me
but they can never keep me
things just dont work out
yet they always blame me
yet i always blame them
it never works out
and my life ends up a mess
cus they did this to me
and they did that to me
either way
i cant deal with it
not now
not for a while
but then you found me
and i found you
but will it work
or will it fall apart
like all the others
i rush into things
they always end up hurting me
but then you dont no that do you
cus you never asked
so i shall never tell
i dont think it will work
but then we can try
if we must
xx
As i sit waiting
As i sit waiting
waiting as i sit
willing you to me
as i sit on the bench
the bench that lived
one day in the past
as i sit waiting
as i sit waiting
for a day you'll come
come running to me
but never you will
come running to me
as i sit waiting
as i finally stand
to come to you
i believe i see you
coming to me
slowly coming to me
as i satnd waiting
waiting too long
or long enough
xx
My world and you
when i say that your my world
yo ask if you should spin around
you make me laugh so hard..
when you dont no what to say
you sit there and stare ...
and laugh and smile along ...
you join in to show your listening
you ask questions about myself
you wanted my family to like you
cus your aim was to be their son in law
and you chatted away to my friends
all i wanted to do was sit and smile
at how happy you made me
at how happy we were
when will we be like that again?
times like that ...
i loved my life ...
i loved you ...
i loved you and me ....
xx
Trapped
any problem has a solution
but every solution has a problem
a cost we cant afford
i know how it is
you know how it is
we know the drill
pretty much everyone knows
but we cant do anything about it
we are all just waiting ...
waiting to be sucked in
like everyone else
it feels like life is against us
we just need to get out
get away from our lives
but we cant ...
cus we are trapped
trapped in our world ..
in our life ...
the life we dont want ...
xx
No need
you say you want to help me
you want to care for me
you want to love me
but then i say you cant
there is nothing you can do
there is no need anyway
i wont be around long enough
... no need for me to find someone
... cus they will only get hurt
... when i go ...
but no one can stop me going
not even i can stop myself
its the way life is
we need to make room for more life
so someone needs to go
so please dont help me
i dont want to hurt you ...
wen i go ...
xx
Need but cant have
i need someone to love me
and make me happy ...
i think thats about the only thing im sure about ...
i just cant have ...
why? may you ask ...
cus every man i love ...
lives too far away
they have their own lives ...
and for me to be with them
i have to start a new life
somewhere else ...
but i dont know how to do that
and with who ...
im lost in my own world
not having a clue ...
what to do ...
xx