1. I am left handed. My right hand is almost completely useless; I wouldn’t dare wipe my fanny with it!
2. I am disgustingly optimistic! I will find the silver lining in a tornado (this one was written pre-nervous breakdown, but I am leaving it in the hopes that someday I will be that annoyingly optimistic girl again).
3. My first boyfriend ever, from kindergarten is now rumored to be in prison. I always had a knack for picking a winner!
4. There are 8 marriages and 3 kids between my parents. I somehow managed to be the only child and the baby all at the same time….what a brat!
5. I have both a sincere faith and a strong disbelief in ones ability to actually live happily ever after…thanks to all 8 marriages.
6. My very first concert ever, at the age of 19 was a Marilyn Manson concert…really.
7. It was awesome!
8. I pick on people! I will razz and tease you horrendously! If I don’t…I don’t like you.
9. I have a wicked sense of humor and a very dirty mind! Men love it…sometimes women look at me sideways. I can’t help it…it just blurts out!
10. I am a fiercely loyal friend! I will back you even when you are wrong!! I am the girl who will be sitting beside you in jail saying “Boy that was stupid! But it sure was fun!!!”
11. I am a good listener, but I talk too much….a strange combination.
12. I am a fantastic cook…I can make something out of this world with one chicken, one can of soup and a scoop of sour cream!
13. I love butter…and anything you can put butter in or on! It has to be REAL butter too…none of this hydrogenated foo foo fluffy margarine! Give me animal fat or give me death! Or is that, give me animal fat AND give me death? Either way, I’ll take it…with extra butter please.
14. I have too much table muscle….it could be from all the butter, but I doubt it.
15. I am one of the few people in the world who doesn’t really care for chocolate. I’ll eat it…but it’s just really not my thing. Maybe there is not enough butter in it…
16. I have a piece of someone else’s body inside mine…a cadaver… a dead dude, lodged between one of my vertebras. I wonder if he has a back ache too.
17. I was born breech…in the splits…one leg out at a time! I weighed over 8 pounds too!!! I have been a pain in the ass since the day I was born!
18. Technically I should be dead….babies didn’t usually survive such a birth, nor do mother’s. Obviously a C-Section might have been a better option!
19. I think cows are beautiful.
20. My body does not function without massive amounts of caffeine.
21. . My brain does not function without massive amounts of caffeine.
22. I am not very pleasant first thing in the morning (see 20 & 21)
23. I am very vain about my cooking….it is very rare that I eat something without thinking my version tastes better, or if I’ve never made it, I can always think of something to make it better when I DO decide to make it. I would never admit this out loud to anyone though.
24. I can’t remember shit…seriously…I just opened this back up to add something to the list, it was supposed to be #24…but now I can’t remember what it was.
25. ♫ I kissed a girl and I liked it… ♫
26. I want to learn how to play the harmonica….or French harp as my hillbilly father refers to it.
27. I love to eat fresh garden tomatoes with chicken gravy on them.
28. I let my boys “pull my finger”…potty humor is very prevalent in our house.
29.I have quite smoking 4 times, once for as long as 3 years….I am currently a smoker…again..
30. I am a chronic underachiever. I always start some big exciting project and then dump it when I get bored….I have closets full of unfinished ‘projects’.
31. I have bipolar disorder.
32. I am a compulsive over eater.
33 I talk entirely too much and usually way too fast for people to keep up.
34. Music is as necessary to me as water. Meaningful lyrics and musical talent will ensure that I am a loyal fan for life.
35. Bruce Springsteen really is the Boss in my book….the Boss of all things.
36. I love Ani Difranco like a fat kid loves cake….her words are stolen from my soul.
37. I never wanted to be a mother to girls….having two boys was the best gift God ever gave me!
38. I love the words ‘crisp’ and ‘crunch’…..not sure why….but I do.
39.I believe in fate.
40. Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba I wanna be sedated....
41. Tequila makes my clothes fall off.
42. I have 2 degrees of separation from a celebrity…Garth Brooks. My cousin used to work with him in a bar in
43. I once had to outrun a crop duster…I was naked…in a field. Yes, I had company…and no I was not having a psychotic episode…but I sure was having fun till the damn plane showed up!
44. I forget to pay the electric bill on time at least 10 times a year…
45. I forget to pay the cell phone bill too….
46. I forget to pay most bills on time
47. I don’t like being in charge of the finances…somehow having a uterus has bestowed this responsibility on me.
48. I once kept a wad of Skoal in my mouth for 30 seconds on a bet.
49.I am $20 dollars richer after #48
50. Oh and a few ounces lighter too…after puking my guts up.
51. I just remembered what #24 was supposed to be!
52. #24 was supposed to say that I can never get a ‘captcha’ right on the first try…it usually takes 3 tries, which is a pain in the ass when you are trying to beat the Ticketmaster clock!
53. I have eaten and enjoyed many varmints….squirrel, rabbit etc….
54. My brain is a treasure chest of useless trivia….I can name every band member from nearly every hit making band in the 70’s 80’s and 90’s
55. I can’t remember what I had for lunch.
56. I once took a joy ride inside a refrigerator that was chained to a pickup truck traveling about 30 mph down a gravel road….I sat in the freezer….
57. There is a video to prove this joy ride….I was quite intoxicated.
58. I went skinny dipping for the first time on my 30th birthday.
59.I wrecked my husband’s truck once singing Sublime’s “What I got” at the top of my lungs with my best friend…we never missed a beat….
60. We had drank entirely too much and were listening to the song for the 4th or 5th time.
61. I have never been arrested
62. That is a miracle
63. I teach summer Bible school for my church…and I bartend at the tavern next door.
64. I don’t drink anymore.
65. I love to talk, but I hate talking on the phone….hate it
66. I can’t whistle…at all.
67.I can cross one eye at a time, and even roll one eye around while the other one is turned in…I am waiting my turn on Dave Letterman’s Stupid Human Tricks.
68. I rarely look in the mirror…a fact I just recently discovered.
69. I don’t wear my wedding ring.
70. Neither does my husband.
71. There is absolutely no significance or statement behind it…we are just too fat and lazy to bother with digging them out of the jewelry box and squeezing them on our oversized fingers.
72. I am a slob.
73. Sometimes I am too tired in the morning and in such desperate need of coffee that I don’t wash my coffee cup before using it….
74. I only have one coffee cup I like to use.
75. I have hearing loss in my left ear from my firstborn being so colicky and screaming at the top of his lungs while I held him on my shoulder.
76.I can pick up almost anything with my toes, and I can pinch you hard enough to leave marks….my toes are very talented (and handy!)
77. I make the best peach pie and homemade cinnamon rolls on the planet…just ask anyone…I swear…I really do! Paula Deen’s got nothing on me!
78. I just ate two Krispy Kreme donuts and I wasn’t the least bit hungry.
79. I can draw quite well….for some reason I don’t utilize that talent much at all.
80. I can sing quite well…for some reason I don’t utilize that one either.
81. I will dance to a live band at a bar or a concert…even if nobody else is dancing.
82. I love naps. I nap any day that I can. I love love love naps.
83. I have read The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood at least five times.
84. I talk in the movie theatre….yeah; I am one of those people.
85. I have an embarrassing loud laugh…even in the movie theatre.
86. My friends must love me…they still take me to the movies.
87. I have vicious PMS the day before my period. I am liable to chew you to shreds and spit you out if you look at me wrong….really…
88. I never keep track of my periods so I never know when the evil day is coming….
89.I can sing almost every Bruce Springsteen song ever written.
90.That’s pretty damn good for someone who can’t remember if she paid the electric bill yet!
91. I love to fish, but I hate catching catfish. I got finned as a child by one and it took a month for my hand to heal.
92.Should I accidentally catch a catfish I have a humorous way of getting rid of it. I step on it, take the hook out and kick it back in the water! This way I never have to touch it!
93.I love love love love crawfish! In fact I love just about any seafood. Yet I am stuck in
94.I love the way a freshly harvested bean field looks. It looks like fresh laid carpet, I often want to go roll around in it.
95.I believe in polygamy. I don’t practice it myself, but I certainly believe in a human being’s capacity to love more than one person.
96. I am very active in my church.
97. I hardly ever attend mass. Strange I know.
98.I named my firstborn after a celebrity…
99. I was named after a celebrity (sort of…she was a soap opera actress)
100. I gave my son my maiden name for a middle name….Wolf….River Wolf…yes I am one of those people :0)~ Hippies….(ok Redneck Hippies…)