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document.write('<a href="superlisting.htm" style="font-weight: normal; " title="A listing of super people">The Super Listing</a> / <a href="chunkymonkey.htm" style="font-weight: normal; ">The Adventures of Chunky Monkey</a> / <a href="internment.htm" style="font-weight: normal; ">America\'s Concentration Camps</a> / <a href="http://www.freewebs.com/landofgraphics/layoutlizard.htm" style="font-weight: normal; ">Lizard Layout</a> / <a href="makinglayouts.htm" style="font-weight: normal; ">Making Layouts</a>')
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<!-- The JavaScript Source!! http://javascript.internet.com -->
<!-- Original:  Peg Duggan (pegduggan@hotmail.com) -->

<!-- Begin
dayName = new Array ("Sunday", "Monday", "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday", "Saturday")
monName = new Array ("January", "February", "March", "April", "May", "June", "July", "August", "September", "October", "November", "December")
now = new Date

Jan = new Array

Jan[1] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> New Year*s Day, The Eighth Day of Christmas<br><b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://www.quizilla.com" target="_blank">Quizilla</a> [Make and take very random quizzes.]<br> *=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[2] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Ninth Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[3] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Tenth Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[4] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Eleventh Day of Christmas<br><b>To Do</b> If there is snow today, go outside and stick it in a jar. Seal tightly. Mail jar to friend who lives in non-snowy region.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[5] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Twelth Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[6] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Epiphany<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[7] = "Place quote here"
Jan[8] = "Place quote here"

Jan[9] = '<b>Today*s Randomness</b> Today you get a book review. Of <i>The Snarkout Boys and the Avacado of Death</i>. By Daniel Pinkwater. Yipee! My version features a lovely picture of an old fat bald man with a beard on the cover. (That would be Daniel Pinkwater.) But I think most have an avacado.</p><p>My library classifies this book as "science fiction", though I do not understand why. An avacado of death is not that scientific.</p><p>Anyway, this book is about Walter and the other Snarkout Boys, one of which is a girl. There is also a bad guy. His name is Wallace Nassbum. (I think) Anyway, he is trying to destroy a giant avacado. It has something to do with real estate agents and aliens.</p>Rating: # # # # # (Five really funny shaped mushrooms)<br><b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://www.mutopiaproject.org">Mutopia Project</a> [Free public domain sheet music.]<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[10] = "Place quote here"

Jan[11] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://simply-magical.com">Simply Magical</a><br />*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[12] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://bouncy-bubbles.net/">Bouncy Bubbles</a><br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[13] = "<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Simba*s *Lil Lioness*s Birthday[Happy Birthday, Simba!]<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues."

Jan[14] = "Place quote here"

Jan[15] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://rainie-dance.net/">Rainie-Dance.net</a><br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[16] = '<b>Cookie Day</b><br>Mmm. . .cookies. As you probably can read, it is Cookie Day, a day celebrating cookies. In honor of this wonderful day, we suggest you bake a cookie, or several cookies, or several hundred cookies. And if you do not already have one, get a cookie jar, preferably one with Cookie Monster on it. Because Cookie Monster is good. And now for:<br><b>A Cookie Recipe</b> by <b>A. Bad Cook</b><br>3 lb. mud<br>7 cups cow chips<br>Preheat oven to 1,000,000 degrees. Combine mud with cow chips in a large bowl and mix. Bake until burnt.'

Jan[17] = '<b>To Do</b> If you have snow today, make a snowball and store it in your freezer for later.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[18] = "Place quote here"
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Jan[21] = "Place quote here"
Jan[22] = "Place quote here"
Jan[23] = "Place quote here"
Jan[24] = "Place quote here"

Jan[25] = '<h3>To Ponder</h3> If the United States Constitution gives you the right to bear arms, does that mean you have a right to have nuclear weapons? If not, does that say anything to you about gun control?'

Jan[26] = "Place quote here"
Jan[27] = "Place quote here"
Jan[28] = "Place quote here"

Jan[29] = '<br><h4>Stupid Quote</h4>"Do you have a green one that*s a different color?"--Olivia, playing Uno<br><h4>Q&A</h4>Q: What is the meaning of life?<br>A: To eat lots of cookies.'

Jan[30] = '<h4>Tip/Advice</h4>(For webmasters) Don*t use too much baby blue, it makes your site look like a box of baby wipes.<br><h4>The Secret Code</h4>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jan[31] = '<h4>Link of the Day</h4> <a href="http://www.fromthetop.org/Extras/Features.cfm?aid=69">Meet the Violiola</a>'

Feb = new Array

Feb[1] = '<h4>Today*s Holidays</h4>First Day of Febuary Day'

Feb[2] = '<h4>Link of the Day</h4><a href="http://teenage-fairy.com/">Teenage-Fairy</a>'
Feb[3] = "Place quote here"
Feb[4] = "Place quote here"
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Feb[14] = "Valentine's Day. Urk. What a preppy day. We suggest you write fake love letters from all your friends and give them to random people."

Feb[15] = "Place quote here"
Feb[16] = "Place quote here"

Feb[17] = "<b>Happy birthday Robin!</b>"

Feb[18] = "Place quote here"
Feb[19] = "Place quote here"
Feb[20] = "Place quote here"
Feb[21] = "Place quote here"

Feb[22] = "George Washington's birthday. Also my grandma's birthday. (Also my brother's birthday. But that's not important.)"
Feb[23] = "Place quote here"
Feb[24] = "Place quote here"
Feb[25] = "Place quote here"
Feb[26] = "Place quote here"
Feb[27] = "Place quote here"
Feb[28] = "Place quote here"

Feb[29] = "Yay! More of an interview with Wolf.<br><br><b>Describe the way you would most like to destroy your homework.</b> Eat it. I've done so before.<br><b>Are you from outer space?</b> Neptune, to be exact.<br><b>What do you think about using french fries as musical instruments?</b> French fries are yuck. They are not meat.<br><b>Do you have a rational fear of acorns?</b> No. They are yuck because they are not meat.<br><b>What about an irrational fear of acorns?</b> *points to above answer*"

Mar = new Array

Mar[1] = '<h3>Q&A</h3> Q: What planet are you from?<br /> A: Pluto<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Mar[2] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://mutopiaproject.org">Mutopia Project</a>'

Mar[3] = "Place quote here"
Mar[4] = "Place quote here"

Mar[5] = '<h3>Poetry</h3>My dear fish,<br />I had a dish.<br />Love,<br />Mrs. Fish<br />(Married to Mr. Fish)'

Mar[6] = "Place quote here"

Mar[7] = '<h3>To Ponder</h3> Are border patrol, airport security, and random locker searches violating the United States Constitution as they are searching through personal belongings without a warrant?'

Mar[8] = '<h3>Link of the Day</h3> <a href="http://www.stunicholls.myby.co.uk/index.html">The CSS Playground</a>'

Mar[9] = '<h3>To Ponder</h3>If you could be any inanimate object for a day, which one would you be? Why?'

Mar[10] = '<h3>Poetry</h3>Dearest lover,<br />I love you.<br />Because you ate my shoe.<br />I am your secret lettuce.<br />Love,<br />Mettuce<br /><b>Disclaimer</b> I have no idea who Mettuce is, and (s)he did not write this. It just rhymed with "lettuce".'

Mar[11] = '<h3>Link of the Day</h3><a href="http://listings.jemjabella.co.uk/index.php">Jemjabella Listings</a>'

Mar[12] = ''

Mar[13] = "Place quote here"
Mar[14] = "Place quote here"
Mar[15] = "Place quote here"
Mar[16] = "Place quote here"

Mar[17] = '<h3>Today\'s Holidays</h3>St. Patrick\'s Day, Wolf\'s Birthday (Happy birthday, Wolf!)<h3>To Do</h3>Put green food coloring in all your food, especially at school, in honor of St. Patrick\'s Day.'

Mar[18] = "Place quote here"
Mar[19] = "Place quote here"
Mar[20] = "Place quote here"
Mar[21] = "Place quote here"
Mar[22] = "Place quote here"

Mar[23] = '<h3>Poetry</h3>Dearest Pygmy,<br />I like pig meat!<br />I like to beat<br />Upon a car<br />When I wish upon a star<br />I have a fish<br />It\'s name was Fred<br />But now it\'s dead.<br />Love,<br />Momo<br /><b>Disclaimer</b> Momo did not really write this, and she does not really call Pygmy "dearest" (as far as I know). It\'s art, okay?'

Mar[24] = "Place quote here"
Mar[25] = "Place quote here"

Mar[26] = '<h3>Today\'s Randomness</h3><p class="first"><b>The Pickle Diet</b> The pickle diet is a diet in which you eat lots of pickles. Some people, such as Oopy, may only need to eat 50 per day, while others, such as Daniel Pinkwater, need to eat 2 million.</p><p>As eating plain pickles can become rather dull, we have compiled some recipes that involve pickles:<br /><b>Pickle Tacos</b> Take tortilla. Put pickle in tortilla. Eat.<br /><b>Pickle Pie</b> Chop up lots of pickles. Then paint them purple using acryllic paint and stomp on them with your feet. Now go to the grocery store and buy some fresh, sanitary pickles. Put them in a pie crust. Bake. Eat. Feed purple pickles to your brother. Or, if you lack a brother, feed them to a really annoying person.<br /><b>Fried Pickle Spears</b> (As Served by Our School Cafeteria) Take handful of mud and coat pickle in. Now let mud dry and become dirt. Do not wipe off the dirt, is an important part of the fried pickle spear. Now fry the pickle. Now for the "spear" part. See, you have to spear somebody with it. Attach to a string and throw at someone. There! You have "speared" them. Now it probably wise not to eat a fried pickle spear, so you can give them away for free.</p> '

Mar[27] = "Place quote here"
Mar[28] = "Place quote here"
Mar[29] = "Place quote here"
Mar[30] = "Place quote here"
Mar[31] = "Place quote here"

Apr = new Array
Apr[1] = '<h3>Quote</h3> "Kingsley could not bear to kill these children with his 56-caliber Spencer rifle. . .So he did it with his 38-caliber Smith and Wesson revolver."--The American Heritage <i>Book of Indians</i>'
Apr[2] = "Place quote here"
Apr[3] = "Place quote here"

Apr[4] = '<h3>Link of the Day</h3><a href="http://www.jemjabella.co.uk/">Jemjabella Network</a>'

Apr[5] = "Place quote here"
Apr[6] = "Place quote here"
Apr[7] = "Place quote here"
Apr[8] = "Place quote here"
Apr[9] = "Place quote here"

Apr[10] = "Some more of an interview with Wolf.<br><br><b>How many imaginary friends do you have?</b> Zero. I either eat or kill them.<br><b>Do you have an alter ego? If so, what?</b> No. My only ego is an insane wolf.<br><b>Have you ever eaten a live duck?</b> YES!! YUM YUM DUCK GOOD!!! YAY!!<br><b>What does the phrase 'ugly as a french fry' mean to you?</b> French fries are yuck. They are not meat.<br><b>Use the following space to list possible uses for cheese other than eating.</b> None. Cheese is yuck. It is not meat. . ."

Apr[11] = "Place quote here"
Apr[12] = "Place quote here"
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Apr[14] = "Place quote here"
Apr[15] = "Place quote here"
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Apr[18] = '<h3>Poetry</h3> Dearest Benry,<br />I like Henry!<br />But I like you more!<br />Because I ate the floor!<br />I had a tree!<br />That ate Fred\'s knee!<br />Love,<br />Arthur<br /><b>Disclaimer</b> Arthur did not really write this, and, as far as I know, he does not love Benry or Henry.'

Apr[19] = "Place quote here"
Apr[20] = "Place quote here"
Apr[21] = "Place quote here"
Apr[22] = "Place quote here"
Apr[23] = "Place quote here"
Apr[24] = "Place quote here"
Apr[25] = "Place quote here"

Apr[26] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Orange Day [Celebrating both the color and the fruit. Eat lots of oranges, wear lots of orange.]<br><b>Today*s Randomness</b> For 13 years I hated oranges. I had had a bad experiance as a small child of eating an orange and then getting a rash or something of that sort. I developed a negative association with oranges.<br>I had always told people I hate oranges when I had never in fact tried one since I was a small child. So I went through 13 years of my life without eating a single orange.<br>Then one day I was over at Oopy*s house with Oopy and Simba, and Oopy*s mom gave us oranges. For some reason I decided to try one, and I liked it.<br>Although I still sort of have an aversion to oranges, "orangeophobia" or something, even though oranges are one of my favorite fruits. I have to remind myself I like oranges before I eat one.<br>And the moral of the story is: Don*t waste your time reading about people*s experiances with fruits.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Apr[27] = "Place quote here"
Apr[28] = "Place quote here"
Apr[29] = "Place quote here"

Apr[30] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://aly.batesian.net">Eternal Bliss</a>'

May = new Array
May[1] = "<b>Happy birthday Jolly!</b> It's May Day! You can celebrate the traditional way by dancing around a pole (stop signs will be fine)! Also to celebrate Jolly's birthday you can be jolly and blow up unjolly people."

May[2] = "Place quote here"

May[3] = "Place quote here"
May[4] = "Place quote here"

May[5] = "Cinco de Mayo. <b>Super Martha's birthday!</b> What an important day!"

May[6] = "Place quote here"

May[7] = '<b>Today*s Randomness<br> A brief list of good books:<br> Abarat by Clive Barker<br> The Snarkout Boys and the Avacado of Death by Daniel Pinkwater<br>My Name is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok<br> Firegold by Dia Calhourn<br> *=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

May[8] = "Place quote here"
May[9] = "Place quote here"

May[10] = '<b>Stupid Quote</b> "There have been rumors on the Internets. . ."--George W. Bush (There*s more than one Internet?)<br> *=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

May[11] = "Place quote here"
May[12] = "Place quote here"
May[13] = "Place quote here"
May[14] = "Place quote here"
May[15] = "Place quote here"
May[16] = "Place quote here"

May[17] = "<b>Happy birthday Jennifer/The Great OoPadOo/Oopapoop/Oopy/Oopa!</b>"

May[18] = "Place quote here"
May[19] = "Place quote here"
May[20] = "Place quote here"
May[21] = "Place quote here"
May[22] = "Place quote here"
May[23] = "Place quote here"
May[24] = "Place quote here"

May[25] = '<b>To Ponder</b> If you could only have one object the rest of your life, what would it be?<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

May[26] = "Place quote here"
May[27] = "Place quote here"
May[28] = "Place quote here"
May[29] = "Place quote here"
May[30] = "Place quote here"
May[31] = "Place quote here"

Jun = new Array
Jun[1] = "Place quote here"
Jun[2] = "Place quote here"
Jun[3] = "Place quote here"
Jun[4] = "Place quote here"
Jun[5] = "Place quote here"
Jun[6] = "Place quote here"
Jun[7] = "Place quote here"
Jun[8] = "Place quote here"
Jun[9] = "Place quote here"

Jun[10] = '<h3>Today\'s Holidays</h3><b>The Migratory Mushroom\'s Birthday</b> The Migratory Mushroom has now existed for a whole year. Wow.'

Jun[11] = "Place quote here"
Jun[12] = "Place quote here"
Jun[13] = "Place quote here"
Jun[14] = "Place quote here"

Jun[15] = "--stupid quote--<br>'Indoor office space for lease'--on a sign (as opposed to outdoor office space)"

Jun[16] = "Today's topic is: How To Be Super. Because being super is very important. Everyone should be super.<p>Create an alter ego named Super Something (for example, Super Martha or Super Fred). It is especially fun to sign all your school work using your superhero name.</p><p>Now you must create a cape. Find a piece of cloth about as tall as you and write your superhero name on it. Now walk around in public places. You can also wear spandex and wear your underwear on the outside, but that's not recommended.</p><p>Now you have to do super things! Some super things to do are play viola and eat cheese. Also you can put blue food coloring in all your food, especially in public places. Buy french fries from a fast food chain and eat them all, but take one home. Grow mold on it, then bring it back and tell the manager you found it in your food. Perhaps they will give you a new french fry, or even multiple french fries.</p><p>You can also invent a theme song and hum it constantly. You must always refer to yourself in third person, for example 'Super Marta's french fry has funny blue stuff growing on it'. Hire a trumpeter to blare a few notes whenever your name is said."

Jun[17] = "Grim Reaper Stories<br>1.ZaCh<br><p>Zach was a professor. Professor Zach, they called him.</p><p>He taught people about death. 'Death is fatal,' he would tell them, and they'd all agree.</p><p>Professor Zach had been teaching for 34 years. Students came and went, and he told them all that death is fatal.</p><p>But one day a student got angry. He stood up on a desk. 'Professor Zach, we come in here every day, and all you ever teach us is that death is fatal!' he yelled.</p><p>Professor Zach was so startled he almost choked on his banana.</p><p>'We already know that death is fatal!' the student yelled.</p><p>Professor Zach was so startled he <i>did</i> choke on his banana.</p><p>'Help!' the professor yelped. 'I'm dying of a fatal death!' He stopped breathing.</p><p>The next day, on the news, the newscaster said, 'A local professor, Professor Zach choked to death on a banana. Sadly, his death was fatal.'</p><br>The End"

Jun[18] = "La la la!"

Jun[19] = "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Jun[20] = "Father's Day."

Jun[21] = "Today is the first offical day of summer."

Jun[22] = "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

Jun[23] = "She turned me into a newt!"

Jun[24] = "We want. . .a shrubbery!"

Jun[25] = "Some call me. . .Tim?"

Jun[26] = "Death awaits you with big, sharp, nasty, pointy teeth!"

Jun[27] = "Bring out 'ye dead!"

Jun[28] = "What. . .is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?"

Jun[29] = "Whatever do you mean, African or European?"

Jun[30] = "If you're going to see a movie, see MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!! MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!! MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!! MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!! MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!! MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!! MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!!"

Jul = new Array
Jul[1] = "And now for something completely different!"

Jul[2] = "La la la!"

Jul[3] = "I like mushrooms."

Jul[4] = 'Happy July 4th! Wahaha. . .explosive fireworks!<br /><h3>Quote</h3><p class="first">"It is easier to say what loyalty is not than to say what it is. It is not conformity. It is not passive acquiescence in the <i>status quo</i>. It is not preference for everything American over everything foreign. It is not an ostrich-like ignorance of other countries and other institutions. It is not the indulgence in ceremony--a flag, salute, an oath of alligiance, a fervid verbal declaration. It is not a particular creed, a particular version of history, a particular body of economic practices, a particular philosophy.</p><p>"It is a tradition, an ideal, and a principle. It is a willingness to subordinate every private advantage for the larger good. It is an appreciation of the rich and diverse contributions that can come from the most varied sources. It is allegiance to the traditions that have guided our greatest statesmen and inspired our most eloquent poets--the traditions of freedom, equality, democracy, tolerance, tradition of the higher law, of experimentation, co-operation, and pluralism. It is a realization that America was born of revolt, flourished on dissent, became great through experimentation."<br />--Henry Steel Commager, "Who is Loyal to America?"</p>'

Jul[5] = "I like to look at mushrooms."

Jul[6] = "I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every second of it."

Jul[7] = "I like cheese!"

Jul[8] = "Go sign the guestbook."

Jul[9] = "I am in shape. Round is a shape."

Jul[10] = "Today is the one-month old birthday of the Migratory Mushroom! Wahoo!"

Jul[11] = "I'm not gifted--I'm weird."

Jul[12] = "Why do they steralize needles for lethal injections?"

Jul[13] = "GiantLavaLamp.com"

Jul[14] = "BonsaiPotato.com"

Jul[15] = "When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing."

Jul[16] = "Go throw water balloons at people."

Jul[17] = "--stupid quote--<br>'That plant is gonna be so dead.'--Weevil, talking about an artificial plant"

Jul[18] = "Hello."

Jul[19] = "Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle."

Jul[20] = "Today we get part of an interview with Simba's 'Lil Lioness, or just Simba for short. Okay, here is how it goes:<br><br><b>When were you born?</b> On the day I was born.<br><b>Which of your toes is your favorite?</b> Toes? Toes? Toes? I don't have toes. Why would I have toes?<br><b>Where is your hand right now?</b> By my toe.<br><b>Do you secretly have a crush on Donald Duck?</b> I have an urge to eat him.<br> <b>What is your favorite kind of cheese?</b> Cheese icky.<br><b>Are you photo-shy?</b> Huh?<br><b>Have you ever eaten a fried lemming?</b> Yeah! Mwhahaha!"

Jul[21] = "Most people do very efficiently what needs not be done at all."

Jul[22] = "An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys."

Jul[23] = '<b>To Do</b> Remember the snowball I told you in January to save in your freezer? No, of course you don*t. Well, anyway, if you happen to have a snowball in your freezer, throw it at somebody. Just for fun.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Jul[24] = "Hello. How are you today?"

Jul[25] = "La la la la! I am very hyper and very random!"

Jul[26] = "Viola rocks!"

Jul[27] = "Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups."

Jul[28] = "Orchestra rocks!"

Jul[29] = "La la la!"

Jul[30] = "I have to go to school today. Because my school starts today. Isn't that sad?"

Jul[31] = "La la!"

Aug = new Array
Aug[1] = "Place quote here"
Aug[2] = "Place quote here"
Aug[3] = "Place quote here"
Aug[4] = "Place quote here"
Aug[5] = "Place quote here"
Aug[6] = "Place quote here"

Aug[7] = "Hello."

Aug[8] = "--stupid quote--<br>'I was born on my birthday!'--Martha"

Aug[9] = 'Once upon a time there was a piece of dirt. He said "Hello". Then he turned into a piece of cardboard. The end.'

Aug[10] = "The Migratory Mushroom is now two months old!"

Aug[11] = "John Kerry for President!"

Aug[12] = '"It is white."<br>-George W. Bush, when asked to describe the White House'

Aug[13] = "Orchestra! Orchestra! Orchestra!"

Aug[14] = "--stupid quote--<br>'He's dead because he died.'--Martha"

Aug[15] = "Mmm. . .doughnuts"

Aug[16] = "Place quote here"
Aug[17] = "Place quote here"
Aug[18] = "Place quote here"
Aug[19] = "Place quote here"
Aug[20] = "Place quote here"
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Aug[29] = "Place quote here"
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Aug[31] = "Place quote here"

Sep = new Array
Sep[1] = "Place quote here"
Sep[2] = "Place quote here"
Sep[3] = "Place quote here"

Sep[4] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://star-girl.org" target="_blank">Star-Girl</a>'

Sep[5] = "Place quote here"
Sep[6] = "Place quote here"
Sep[7] = "Place quote here"

Sep[8] = '<b>Q&A</b> Q: Do you just make up the holidays on the Mush Calendar?<br>A: Most of the time'

Sep[9] = "Place quote here"

Sep[10] = "The Migratory Mushroom is three months old!"

Sep[11] = "Place quote here"
Sep[12] = "Place quote here"
Sep[13] = "Place quote here"

Sep[14] = "--stupid quote--<br>'Water is wet.'--Martha"

Sep[15] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Start A Club Day [See Today*s Randomness]<br><b>Today*s Randomness</b> As you probably read, it is Start A Club Day. So we are going to start a club. Think of something you would to have a club for. It could be a Cheese Club, where you eat different kinds of cheese. Or a Debate Club (Yay! Argue!). Or a Minature Golf Club. Or a Slackers* Club. Now go to a teacher (this is assuming you go to school) and ask them if they would sponsor your club. (And if no one wants to sponsor your club, just hold meetings at your house or something.) Now make posters and invite everyone you know to join. Plan a meeting. Make sure to serve food at the meeting, because people like food, and people are more likely to come if there is food. Have more meetings. Do stuff. Have fun. Eat more food.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Sep[16] = "Place quote here"

Sep[17] = "Do, the stuff they put in Twinkies<br>Re, the guy that buys me Twinkies<br>Mi, the girl Ray buys Twinkies for<br>Fa, a long, long line of Twinkies<br>So, I think I'll have a Twinkie<br>La, la la la la la Twinkie<br>Ti? No thanks, I'll have a Twinkie<br>Which brings us back to dough<br>Twinkie Twinkie Twinkie dough"

Sep[18] = "Hello."

Sep[19] = '<b>To Do</b> Make a handy-dandy jar of carrots, for tomorrow you are going to learn about the exciting art of carrot sculpting. Make bunny ears out of paper/fake(or real, if you prefer) fur and an old hanger. Attatch to a headband. Wear to school, or, if you go to work, work.<br><b>Stupid Quote</b> "The number one cause of death in this country is dying."<br><b>To Ponder</b> If there were only 100 people on this planet, 6 people would possess 59% of the entire world wealth.<br><b>Today*s Randomness</b> Did you know that everyone*s real name is Sally? Including boys. So be sure to refer to everyone as Sally, especially figures of authority. And do not ask why this is so. Do not question the Super Martha.<br><b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://livejournal.com" target="_blank">Livejournal</a> [Make a blog, or read random strange people*s blogs.]<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues'

Sep[20] = '<b>Today*s Randomness</b><br>Today we are going to learn about the exciting art of carrot sculpting!</p><p>First, get your handy-dandy jar of carrots. You do have a handy-dandy jar of carrots, don*t you? Anyway, get a carrot. Now put it in your mouth and begin sculpting with your teeth. No knives, just your teeth. Knives are for those new avant-garde carrot sculptors who don*t understand the <u>real</u> carrot sculpting. You don*t want to be one of those, do you?</p><p>Now stick your carrot in a frame and display it proudly. If it doesn*t vaguely resemble anything, call it modern art and make up a deep significant meaning for it that doesn*t really make sense but uses enough big words so that no one is able to decipher it and understand that it makes no sense.</p>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Sep[21] = '<b>Quote</b> "In a country of blind people, the one-eyed man is king."--Spanish proverb<br><b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://www.giantlavalamp.com" target="_blank">GiantLavaLamp.com</a>'

Sep[22] = '<b>Today*s Randomness</b><br>Today, instead of chewing gum, twidling your thumbs, or planning revolts while you are bored in class, you are going to get out your calculator. No, you are not going to do math. Well, not really. You just need to press "1+1=", and then keep pressing the "=" button, and the number will keep getting bigger! How exciting! Of course, it will not work if you have the bad kind of calculator that does not do that. How sad.</p><p>Isn*t that entertaining to do? Of course, you don*t have to start with 1. You can start with 42, the answer. (Read <i>The Hitchhiker*s Guide to the Galaxy</i> by Douglas Adams if you don*t understand.) Or you can start with -9999999. Or subtract one instead of add one.</p><p>Ha ha. I*m sure by now you think I am the lamest person in the world. . .</p><br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Sep[23] = ""

Sep[24] = '<b>Daniel Pinkwater Day</b><br>Who is Daniel Pinkwater?, you may ask. He is a 400 pound very special author. He writes books about giant chickens. And avacados of death. So, in honor of Daniel Pinkwater, make sure to do at least five of the following things:<br>-Read a book by Daniel Pinkwater<br>-Eat a lot<br>-Eat a lot of avacados<br>-Spend the day trying to develop a giant chicken<br>-Dress up as a giant chicken<br>-Go to Africa and search for earthworms that can play chess<br>-Visit the <a href="pinkwater.com" target="_blank">Daniel Pinkwater web site</a>.'

Sep[25] = 'Hello there.'

Sep[26] = "<b>Happy birthday Weevil!</b>"

Sep[27] = "Place quote here"

Sep[28] = '<h3>Quote</h3>"Freedom is lost little by little in noiseless theft, a fragment of concession to expendiency here, a morsel of \'what does it matter?\' there. Then, shockingly, we find that freedom has disappeared in the regimentation of not only our daily doings but our eternal ambitions."--The Royal Bank of Canada Monthly Letter, January 1966'

Sep[29] = "Place quote here"

Sep[30] = "Place quote here"

Oct = new Array

Oct[1] = 'It is now the lovely month of <b>October</b>.'

Oct[2] = '<b>To Do</b> Buy a box of donuts. Bring to school/work and share with random people at lunchtime. Or, alternatively, if today happens to be on a weekend, plan a donut party where you dress up as a donut and hand out donuts to everyone at the party.'

Oct[3] = "Place quote here"

Oct[4] = "It's time for more of an interview with Simba's 'Lil Lioness! The first half was displayed in July.<br><br><b>Have you ever eaten a peanut?</b> Peanut? What's a peanut? Oh, right!<br><b>Killed a peanut?</b> Mm-hmm<br><b>Harmed a peanut in any way?</b> Nope.<br><b>Do you read Daniel Pinkwater books?</b> Lions<br><b>Have you ever ridden on a snail?</b> Of course! It's my main way of transportation.<br><b>Would you ever use a pink pen?</b>Pink pen?<br><b>Where is your hand now?</b></b> Still by my hair thing, no, shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe shoe!"

Oct[5] = '<b>Stupid Quote</b> "That plant is gonna be so dead."--Weevil, talking about an artifical plant.'

Oct[6] = "Place quote here"
Oct[7] = "Place quote here"

Oct[8] = "Today we get to see part of an interview with Wolf. Okay, here goes:<br><br><b>How many toes do you have?</b> A normal 20 like any self-respecting wolf.<br><b>What is your favorite kind of cheese?</b> Cheese is yuck. It is not meat.<br><b>Which Star Wars character do you think Arthur is most like?</b> Jaba the Hutt<br><b>Do you like grapefruits?</b> Grapefruits are yuck. They are not meat.<br><b>What do you have to say to young penguins who idolize you?</b> Will you stay for lunch? *bites penguins' heads off*"

Oct[9] = "Place quote here"

Oct[10] = "The Migratory Mushroom is four months old!"

Oct[11] = '<b>To Ponder</b> What are you going to be for Halloween? And if you say you are too old to go trick-or-treating, we say candy. And even if you don*t like candy that much (especially not the nasty chocolate junk), it is still fun. Who can say no to wondering around the neighborhood dressed as a giant frog?<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Oct[12] = "Place quote here"
Oct[13] = "Place quote here"

Oct[14] = '<b>Stupid Quote</b> "For indoor or outdoor use."-on a rope light (As opposed to what? Use in outer space?)'

Oct[15] = "Place quote here"
Oct[16] = "Place quote here"

Oct[17] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Fall Day [The day celebrating fall! See Today*s Randomness.]<br><b>Today*s Randomness</b> It is Fall Day! Fall (or autumn) is a very special season. There are leafs (leaves?) that fall down from the trees. And you can make leaf piles. Which are very fun to jump in. And apples. Everyone should go apple-picking. And they should fall down a lot, because it*s called fall.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Oct[18] = "Place quote here"

Oct[19] = '<b>To Do</b> Make a big leaf pile. Jump in. Or make a leaf fort. And if you live in the southern hemisphere where it*s spring, you can, um, make a flower pile and jump in it.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Oct[20] = "Place quote here"
Oct[21] = "Place quote here"

Oct[22] = '<b>Today*s Randomness</b> We are going to learn some very important Spanish words and phrases. Following each word/phrase in parantheses(these things) is a pronunciation guide so you can use the important phrases and words in real life. Here they are:<br><i>queso</i> (Like the letter K, then the word so.) cheese<br><i>Me gusta el queso.</i> (Me rhymes with weigh, gu as in goo, the sta rhymes with duh, el rhymes with smell, and queso has been explained already.) I like cheese.<br><i>Porque queso es bueno.</i> (Por rhymes with for, que like the letter K, then the word queso, es rhymes with mess, bue rhymes with weigh, and no is just like the word no in English.) Because cheese is good.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Oct[23] = "Place quote here"
Oct[24] = "Place quote here"
Oct[25] = "Place quote here"
Oct[26] = "Place quote here"
Oct[27] = "Place quote here"

Oct[28] = '<b>Stupid Quote</b> "Do you think I*m ahead of my reading level?"--Jesse<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Oct[29] = "Place quote here"
Oct[30] = "Place quote here"

Oct[31] = "It's Halloween. Go and eat candy. Mmm. . .candy. . ."

Nov = new Array
Nov[1] = "Place quote here"

Nov[2] = "<b>DON'T VOTE FOR BUSH!!!</b> As you may know it is election day. You probably can't vote, but that's okay, you still won't be voting for Bush. Or you could become an extremely talented computer hacker and screw up the electronic voting machines to make nobody vote for Bush."

Nov[3] = "--stupid quote--<br>'Is your brother a boy?'--Martha"

Nov[4] = '<b>Today*s Randomness</b> Today we are going to learn the rather boring history of the Migratory Mushroom. It was created by Super Martha on June 10, 2004, due to too much spare time. The layout used to be much uglier. It was gray-ish. And that is the very boring history. The end.<br><b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://mushboard.proboards34.com/">Mush Board</a><br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Nov[5] = "Place quote here"
Nov[6] = "Place quote here"
Nov[7] = "Place quote here"
Nov[8] = "Place quote here"

Nov[9] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Randomly Bake and Distribute Cookies Day [Bake lots and lots of cookies. Then take them to school/work and randomly distribute among classmates/co-workers.]<br><b>To Do</b> Bake cookies and distribute them in honor of Randomly Bake and Distribute Cookies Day.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Nov[10] = "Place quote here"
Nov[11] = "Place quote here"
Nov[12] = "Place quote here"
Nov[13] = "Place quote here"
Nov[14] = "Place quote here"

Nov[15] = '<b>To Do</b> Fix up your superhero cape. (Sew up any fraying edges, wash it, etc.) And if you don*t have a superhero cape, you*d better go get one (see <a href="howtobesuper.htm">How to be Super</a>.)<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Nov[16] = "Place quote here"
Nov[17] = "Place quote here"
Nov[18] = "Place quote here"
Nov[19] = "Place quote here"
Nov[20] = "Place quote here"

Nov[21] = '<b>To Do</b> Sign up for a karate class. It is good for you, and it*s self-defense. And fun! And, if you get your brother/sister to sign up (or mom or dad), you can beat them up without getting in trouble!<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Nov[22] = "Place quote here"
Nov[23] = "Place quote here"
Nov[24] = "Place quote here"
Nov[25] = "Place quote here"
Nov[26] = "Place quote here"
Nov[27] = "Place quote here"
Nov[28] = "Place quote here"

Nov[29] = '<b>Stupid Quote</b> "It*s against the law to hire people illegally. . ."--John Kerry<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Nov[30] = "<b>Happy birthday Squeaky!</b>"

Dec = new Array

Dec[1] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> First Day of December Day<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[2] = '<b>Today*s Randomness</b> A limerick (originally written for Language Arts class and with a picture of a cookie):<br> Cookie Monster*s a furry blue monster,<br> An almost obsessive cookie-muncher,<br> He searched for a cookie tree,<br> Far and wide as he could see,<br> And then found a cookie in a dumpster.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[3] = '<b>Random Quote</b> "He who sacrifices liberty for security shall have neither."--Benjamin Franklin<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[4] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://www.freewebs.com/biggoober">Gooberville</a>br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[5] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://www.one-dimensional.net">One-Dimensional</a>br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[6] = '<b>Link of the Day</b> <a href="http://www.allegro-vivo.net">Allegro-Vivo</a>br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[7] = "<b>Happy birthday Sara! Who is also known as Hi!</b>"

Dec[8] = "Place quote here"
Dec[9] = "Place quote here"
Dec[10] = "Place quote here"
Dec[11] = "Place quote here"
Dec[12] = "Place quote here"
Dec[13] = "Place quote here"

Dec[14] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Katie*s Birthday [Happy birthday, Katie!]<br> *=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[15] = "Place quote here"
Dec[16] = "Place quote here"
Dec[17] = "Place quote here"
Dec[18] = "Place quote here"
Dec[19] = "Place quote here"
Dec[20] = "Place quote here"
Dec[21] = "Place quote here"

Dec[22] = ' <b>Stupid Quote</b> ". . .a pre-Semptember 10th mindset. . ."--George W. Bush (<i>Pre</i>-September <i>10th</i>?)<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[23] = '<b>Q&A</b> Q: Why on some days does the Mush Calendar just say "Place quote here"?<br>A: Because we are lazy and have not written an entry for that day.<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[24] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Christmas Eve [Get a Christmas tree and decorate. (That is, if you celebrate Christmas.) Make yummy yummy apple cider, or, if you are a chocolate person, hot chocolate. Sit by fire and read a good book. And wear comfy socks that have cow heads or something on them.]<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[25] = "<b>Christmas!</b> Unless you aren't Christian. Well, it still is Christmas no matter what religion you are, you just wouldn't celebrate it. Unless you are one of those people that bug me that celebrate Christmas even if they don't believe in Jesus and they celebrate Santa Claus. Santa Claus bothers me. What does he have to do with Christmas? I suggest we set up another holiday to celebrate fat old men with beards (including Daniel Pinkwater!)."

Dec[26] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Second Day of Christmas [There are 12 days of Christmas, you know.]<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[27] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Third Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[28] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> Fourth Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[29] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Fifth Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[30] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Sixth Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'

Dec[31] = '<b>Today*s Holidays</b> The Seventh Day of Christmas<br>*=An apostrophe. Real apostrophes can not be used due to certain programming issues.'
//  End -->


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