Hannah_and_Rache

I'm not going to lie to you. Hannah and I love Cloud unconditionally. Hannah finds him attractive (pfft, who WOULDN'T?) and I find him awesome because of his motorcycle. But then... Well, here's Cloud's bio written by me, Rachel! (of course)

Name: His name is, OBVIOUSLY, Cloud. As if you didn't know that. What's funny about his name is that it's Cloud Strife and that... well that's not the most normal name in the world.

Family: Before Cloud was in FFVII, he had a mommy. Who was, unfortunately, killed by Sephiroth. Then Cloud moved to Midgar, but after that was destroyed at the end of the game, he helped Tifa build a new bar and they live together in the floor right above the actual bar and have adopted a furling named Denzel and take care of Barret's adopted daughter Marlene. Wow! One big happy family.

Love: Well Cloud obviously has SOME love for Tifa if he's willing to LIVE in the same place as her! Unless he's horribly misbegotten in his affections (which neither Hannah nor I would allow, as we both think Tifa is teh bomb), and it's just a lie he created for some reason or other. Then there was Aeris. Oh, goodness, Aeris. She was in like... half the game physically and then she was in the rest of the game in spirit but of course that means... SHE'S DEAD. I would be surprised if you didn't know that! Well anyway. Cloud thinks it's all his fault that Aeris died and technically it is because he was standing right there when Sephiroth decided to fly down from the ceiling and kill her dead in the middle of the Temple of the Ancients or whatever. So we're going to say that, with no other options... he loves Tifa.

Friends: Cloud has a lot of friends but he doesn't think so! Awk! The first is, of course, Tifa. Why, she was there when he remembered everything! In fact, she helped him remember! In other words... she relived his memories. The second is Zack, who I love and will probably get around to making a mini-shrine to someday. But not now. Anyway. Zack was the first person Cloud saw after being experimented on and then dragged him around because Cloud was a vegetable for the longest time. Zack talked to Cloud like a relative in denial a lot... and that's why Cloud became a Zack clone. Then there's Barret, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent, Reeve, Cait Sith, Red XIII, and Aeris. Of course. I'm just too lazy to write about all THOSE crazy people!

Personality: Okay. There's two Cloud personas, and that is Zack Cloud and Cloud Strife. Zack Cloud being right after he heard all those stories from Zack and then thinking he WAS Zack (or virtually Zack) and then Cloud Strife being the quiet and broody man we know today.

Enemies: First there's the Shin-Ra Electric Company. Why? Because they tried to KILL his best friends Tifa and Barret just to make the public happy. And they also tried to cover up the whole 'Sephiroth burning down Nibelheim' thing by rebuilding the place and hiring paid actors to act like nothing had ever happened. The bastards. And then there's... SEPHIROTH. Sephiroth's the one who burned Nibelheim to the ground and killed everyone near and dear to both Cloud AND Tifa. And he killed Aeris but oh well. He's also the one Cloud idolized but then Cloud STABBED him because he was understandably mad about Sephiroth leveling his hometown and killing his loved ones. And fatally wounding Tifa. Come to think of it... how many important characters has Sephiroth ever killed? ONE? Namely being AERIS? You can't count President Shinra because he was in like... ten minutes of the game and then Rufus took over. But it just goes to show that Aeris was horribly weak if Tifa could survive a fatal wound to the chest area and Zack could survive being thrown into a big hunk of metal. And Cloud could survive being stabbed through the chest like Aeris. Only he survived and wasn't a pussy about it.

And that's about it for Cloud's profile! Omfg. That was shorter than I thought it would be.

In all honesty... I think Hannah probably knows more about Kadaj than me. Awk! Ah well.

Name: His name is KADAJ, da-hurr.

Family: As far as I know, he has his brothers Yazoo and Loz. And maybe Jenova and Sephiroth were thrown into the mix somewhere because they always refer to Jenova as 'Mother' like Sephiroth and they look a whole lot like Sephiroth. So maybe Sephiroth got busy and had triplets with some random unimportant woman. One of which looked butt-ugly (Loz). He and his brothers also have a tendancy to refer to Cloud as 'brother'.

Love: Umm... Kadaj loves Jenova. End of story.

Friends: Kadaj doesn't HAVE friends! Unless you count his manipulated army of small children. But I don't so they were just those kind of people you're friends with one day and then you're not the next day. Besides that, I imagine Kadaj would KILL everyone he thinks is a friend anyway! Rufus might count but then... he did shoot Jenova's box.

Personality: Kadaj is one crazy mofo, let me tell you. He willingly wears the most uncomfortable-looking leather suit I've ever seen, not to mention he ties the coattails to his legs with BELTS that look really tight as well. He also obviously doesn't think it's weird to look like a woman because AWK! he does. Out of his wacko family, he's probably the wackiest because he'll cry about his mommy one minute and then smirk and ride away into the wind the next. In other words he's bipolar.

Enemies: Cloud and all of Cloud's buddies basically. And the Shin-Ra Electric Company. I mean... he beat Reno and Rufus to a pulp, basically. And he aimed a magic attack at Rufus. So umm... I don't think they're on the best terms with each other unless I'm horribly mistaken.

HIS profile was even shorter than CLOUD'S! Awk!

Hannah has yet to play KH2 so fortunately... I have! And I've beaten it, too. No... not in the abusive way you silly people.

Name: His name is RIKU and it means 'land' or 'shore' in Japanese! And some poor misbegotten fool used a cheap online translator and though his name meant 'something or other depression'. Which it might but I'm no translator so I HAVE NO IDEA. This also makes for an interesting love triangle between himself and his buddies, because Sora's name means 'sky' and Kairi's means 'sea route' or you could only count the first half of her name meaning 'sea'.

Family: Riku has no family in the games. But for some reason I suspect that he has a normal family consisting of himself, his mom, and his dad. And maybe he has a sister or a brother in the mix somewhere but I'm sure he doesn't. Alas, the world may never know.

Love: Riku has an unrequited love for Kairi. The poor fellow. He goes through all that crap and becomes evil JUST to save her heart... and then SORA does it FOR him! So Kairi loves Sora and not Riku. Riku probably loves Sora in a brotherly sense besides, because they've been best friends for the longest time and they have a mutual respect for each other. But no, he's not really gay, I just think he is. In Chain of Memories, his replica kind of has another unrequited love for Namine, Kairi's Nobody. Awk! This further adds to the awkwardness of their love triangle because the first half of Namine's name means 'ocean wave'! Omfg.

Friends: SORA and KAIRI, obviously! I mean... GEEZ as if that wasn't obvious! He only hangs out with them every day of the week and then some. I imagine he's come to accept Sora and Kairi's little fling and just sits back rest assured that they're not going to do anything because... Well, Sora's really oblivious to a lot of things. But it's pretty obvious that Kairi likes him. Da-hurr. They DID conspire to leave Riku and take the raft, after all. So maybe they aren't great friends like they want to believe they are.

Personality: We don't really get to see Riku's subdued and not-gay personality until Kingdom Hearts 2, but way back when he was fifteen, he was quite the talkative and broody one. And he was hitting on Kairi most of the time... he even admits to it! But I think he just wanted attention when he went evil like Sephiroth. WOW! Every one of these profiles mentions Sephiroth in some way! But back to Riku. He went psycho and allowed Maleficent of all people to manipulate him and he's extremely gullible because she convinced him that Sora ditched him for newer, Disney-er buddies. And he's also really jealous of people who get in the way of his and Sora's friendship. Wow, that makes it sound like he's gay. It's hard not to make him sound gay... But anyway. After he was possessed by Ansem, he decided that that wasn't going to fly and beat the darkness within him with a stick and then worked for Ansem the Wise for a while to make sure nothing like that ever happened again. Alas... when he fought Roxas he decided that to overcome the darkness he must become Ansem... or at least, Xehanort. A.K.A. Ansem from the first Kingdom Hearts. Okay... well anyway, then at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2 Ansem the Wise's machine took forever to explode but when it did, it changed Riku into the sexy individual we know and love today! Yippy. And he was also a lot quieter than he was in the first game and he always had his thumb in his pocket which makes me wonder what it's doing in there.

Enemies: Umm... Basically everybody who are Sora's enemies. Which means the XIII Order and Xehanort. So yeah... that's it. And ROXAS, but we all know Roxas saw the light and willingly became Sora again so... yeah. He doesn't count anymore. By the way... I love Roxas.

And there you have it! The more you know.