thegoodnightprocess

the beginning of an epilogue...


 

TheDark

We all have a facination with TheDark. TheQuiet of the night the cold and warmth of its' embrace has inspired us. Poets like Poe have given into the maddning noise of the a guilty concious led by TheDark. While Rilke treated the night was like a flirtatious woman longing to caress our minds with her loveliness. It has inspired the most unspeakable horrors, vile and dispicable creatures can be spawned from it. But it also can be so calm, so liberating so serene, so lovely. I choose to see TheDark as the latter...a woman with such loveliness and serenity, a lover, a partner, a friend .

Enjoy my vision of Her.   

Click hear the poem "Shadowchaser"

You Darkness

You darkness, that I come from,
I love you more than all the fires
that fence in the world,
for the fire makes
a circle of light for everyone,
and then no one outside learns of you

But the darkness pulls in everything:
shapes and fires, animal and myself,
how easily it gathers them!--
powers and people--

and it is posssible a great energy
is moving near me.

I have faith in nights...

Rainier Maria Rilke

Shadows: Prelude

 

Just imagine loneliness personified.

This haggard and wandering spectre of a soul.

Tortured and solemn, resigned and rejoicing

In his own eternal existence.

Grey would be his garb for it is a symbol of the teetering balance

Between Life and Death.

Rain and Fog, would be his world.  Neon and Gaslights

Would be his sun... and the Nights Breath would caress his mind

Like the intimate whispers of a sensual memory.

Black, Indigo, you and me, still stalling and silent,

All slipping inside.

 

Just imagine loneliness personified.

Dark Hearted, ageless and cold,

And you have imagined me

Walking late at night.

 

 

ShadowDancer

 

This is where I live

Here...

Is your Reality.

I

I stroll among the boundaries,

between past and present,

between fast and forward.

While others are limited by the walls of inertia,

I pass my hand through time...and walk freely.

I am the still moment between dusk and dawn.

With undeterred fluid motion

I leap into the firmament of ebony space

and surrender to the chanting,

the warmth of the music that fills the soul.

I surrender to the grey,

my arms flung open and wide.

I embrace the strings that whisper,

drums that echo the coming of a harvest moon,

rain that signals the end of the broken dream,

a song that caresses the heart

and a time where the visions were real.

I fall into darkness.  I am the rhythm.

I hold the line, I walk the edge...

I am the Grey.

 

Contemplating The Night

Tonight...

 

Solitude reigns.

 

The Dusk leaves

A residue of Emptiness,

And a longing of the soul,

Heightens excitement.

 

I shudder and clench my fists

At the thoughts raging inside me.

 

I fear they will caress me.

I fear they will embrace me.

 

Do I submit?

 

I contemplate The Night,

 

And follow...                                                  

 

Darkness.

ShadowChaser

 
The night falls, shadow upon shadow,
Slinking across buildings and rooftops like some umbral spectre, haunting the waking hours of sleep.
 
People shuffle to and fro blending into brick and concrete as darkness,
Cautiously wraps its fingers around projects and abandoned warehouses,
 
Stretching its tentacles through the light.
 
With shafts of reflective purple, blue and grey,
 
The sun cowers and dissolves behind this malevolent landscape.
 
 
 
For now, the time has come.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I step into the labyrinth of city streets and back alleys to embrace the sadness,
 
The slick rain and warmth of the night.
 
I slip out from the light, I dissolve –
 
I evaporate into black only to reappear,
 
Like some subtle signal that calls to the infinite heavens…
 
 
 
The time has come.
 
 
 
Within this surreal moment from behind the sheer veil of thought and action
 
I often look on you: Delicate, ethereal and enchanting.
 
A haunting beauty from a past I cannot describe,
 
A silhouette from a memory too vivid for words.
 
I watch from far away from inside my own fantasies
 
I watch you breathe and sleep like a Seraph
 
Or some of God’s other secret creations,
 
Beyond the grasp of comprehension.
 
 
 
I often practice saying your name,
 
Mouthing each syllable swirling the sound in my ears, savoring it in my mouth as if I were tasting it.
 
This sound resonates through my body, fills me with a soft succulent serenity that only Love or Obsession could resolve.
 
 
 
The stars above heave and sigh as the Night Chorus plays its interlude,
 
I am engulfed in visions that crash headlong and shatter my fears.
Again your name calls out from the scared confines of my soul,
Falling like a crystal tear that drops and ripples, across puddles and asphalt.
 
 
 
My eyes close and pictures of your mouth
 
Full, ripe and wanting caress my mind.
 
Your voice slightly subdued, warm almost breath-like, resonates and repeats my name, Closer, closer, whisper and sigh.
 
Your mind speaks to me in shapes and subtle shades of grey. Your face reflects the secret of my desire and fuels my fantasies.
 
 
 
I watch the neon signs shine like electric sunlight,
 
Thru café windows and midnight bars.
 
I watch the shadows caress the living monoliths across the streets from my window,
Only to disappear when you are beyond premonition.

Nepenthe

 

Dim lights, neon blue.

Trumpets and cigarette ash glow.

Red lips, tears,

fall into Vodka’s twist and Jack Daniels’ glass.

Sade on stage, husky voice and all,

Caressing my soul like an ebony mermaid,

Singing the song of Melpomone.

Empty trains and railway stations

follow me through stop signs and one way streets,

Through lights green glow, yellow blur and hazy red streaks.

The rain sizzles, the wind whispers and echoes

of solitude and solemnity.

Tonight seems so profound.

For I, a creature of the night,

appreciate its warmth, its embrace, its sacred sublimity.

Tonight will inspire such sweet sadness,

The night seems so much like home.

When the ash glow has died

And the lights fall down,

I realize... This is where I belong.

 

ShadowWalker

Feet fall on concrete and I remember,
 
The lights through the haze.
 
I remember the stop signs, the railway stations,
 
The rain, the hollow halls and you…
 
 
 
I’ve walked through dimly lit parks,
 
Past sidewalk benches and watched anonymous
 
Faces fade in and out of the lamplights.
 
Listened as angry horns shouted in the distance,
 
Cursing and swearing their frustration to the sky.
 
 
I’ve seen headlights mixed with neon red, violet
 
Orange and green, blending into buildings
 
That protrude from the ground like rotten teeth.
 
Looked at the faces on the trains
 
And wondered whom they’ve slept with.
 
Imagined their mouths, the lips they’ve kissed.
 
Walked past still-life cafes and midnight bars
 
Where Jack and Daniel mix vodkas and twist
 
lemons, waiting for the women of their dreams.
 
 
 
I’ve wandered into soup kitchens and musky
 
shelters, past quiet corners and in places where the sun never shines.
 
remember muttering and laughing out loud,
 
The parade outside with confetti and crepe paper,
 
The marching band too far away to hear.
 
Only to remember walking and not knowing why.
 
 
 
I put my ear on the ground and listened for a song,
 
A sound track for life, with string sections and adagios,
 
Minor keys and chord progression, saxophones and you.

Home

City streets are calling me...

Life is difficult and so am I.

Neon flickers through fog and shadow,

Coffee stains on tables where I used to sit.

It seems it’s cold outside,

Jacket and coat to cover me.

City streets, lonely Knights, where are you?

 

Staying out is the best thing for me

Walking home at this hour

The stores are closed and the diners welcome me...

Can’t forget the way you used to look,

when I came home this late.

 

ShadowKeeper

 

I am alone.  Truly.

I seek out the faintest of places.

I live just behind the corners of yesterday,

I slip through the jagged cracks of memories,

Tucking them in the minds eye,

With not even the slightest sound or effort.

I am the perfect paradox,

The constant balance of night and day,

The endless fluctuation between you and me.

Like cemented smile of resignation and despair,

I am the Darkest Shade of Grey.

 

From inside my contrasting luminaries

I shed my own quiet blacklight.

I watch you at the crest of your frustration

And feel it wash over me,

Rising to crush and crash my castles,

My courage, my confidence.

 

You fiegn and smile sweet revenge and ramification

And I am the condemned, damned and tormented lifeless soul,

Wandering through silent cities and abandoned street cars.

A Haunted Heart, a spectre among the living.

The Darkest Shade of Grey.

Curiosity

 

Calm and quiet, the spark begins its flicker,

Underneath something unknown or unreal,

Resting on an ideal or a thought of the sublime,

In the farthest reaches of your space it

Only fears its own brief life and soon it gives way...

Stopping, stuttering to and fro like a candle til’

It finds life in a glance or smile

Then the spark becomes part of something more something whole

Your flame, still new and ever burning brightly.

Fascination

Infatuation

 

 

Inside the endless dreams of your heart

No one heard your distant sighs of impatience

Fallen from pride and fueled by desire of

A statuesque figure, a perfect smile,

The warm alluring voice, The soft

Undercurrent and the hope of

A word or look or a signal of her affections.

To win for yourself this precious ounce.

In case you should lose it too soon,

Or before she would still say to you:

Never, never, They’re all lies, They’re not true.

Love

 

Lend me your heart for awhile...

Oh and sigh and sigh again, Oh this flutter

Verily I give you all...my mind my soul

Eternal, undaunted and pure.

Obsession

 

O dine O dance my carrion bird

Black and elusive twisted angel,

Swooping and circling amongst the carcasses,

Earthbound and gluttonous for time.

Swooping with black orbed eyes

Slick with the flame of desire.  Still your hunger

It will not be sated, your belly will not be full.

O dine O dance my carrion bird while they whisper

Never, Never, They’re all lies.  Its not true.

 

Madness

 

Memories are the hardest of things...

At first a tiny seed with unseen roots

Down, down they pierce the soil of my brain

Never ending they spiral down twisting flesh with long

Encouraging branches that bend in the whispering voices.

Sodden thoughts of yesterdays sanity,

Simple and driven to the fruit of time...

 

 

TheMemory

Feels like midnight

And moons silver light shines brightly

Like some profound white star against the dark misty sky.

The light post glows faintly above me,

Buzzing, flickering,

Casting dark shafts of shadow grey on the

bleeding wet pavement below---

I’m coming home.

 

People gather around the depot waiting for the bus to arrive,

Moving closer and closer into the shelter for warmth,

And as they go, I look at these faces all about me

Trying to read them like the pages of a novel.

Some are engaged in rowdy needless conversation.

While some wait patiently, silent, their faces hard and chiseled

Like some dark Gothic Sculpture.

Others clutch bags of purchases, their eyes aglow with satisfaction

And still others seemed anxious and impatient,

cursing the bus’ delayed arrival.

 

I began pondering over the faces that pass to and fro

And as I do, I turn to see you in among a small crowd

that approaches the depot.

A man is walking silently but closely near you

And I immediately assume that this is your husband---

I had heard you had gotten married recently.

 

I watched as you stood only moments away from me

Your raven hair long and slick hung closely about your face

Its strands wet from the rain that fell endlessly

From the torn indigo sky.

And as I watched from this distance,

My mind went into a silent shock

Causing a surge of memories to flood my head like a tidal wave

almost making me swoon.

 

Suddenly I am overcome by an overwhelming sadness

That grips me like a vise making my body shudder with grief.

Summer and Winter seem to collide together as I began to remember

The violins that played when we saw each other last.

We parted as the melody faded,

Now the string sections have been changed,

The melody has been rearranged,

And it echoes louder as you approach.

 

Slinking into my trenchcoat

I clutch its sides against my body for warmth

Disappearing into its grey folds, like some monk shrouded in dark

Lonesome mystery, all along wishing to conceal myself

From your presence.

Yet, you unknowingly draw me closer

With a power that I cannot figure.

 

While your life has been wrapped in nuptial ribbons

I and mine have been bound

and tied with ropes and cords of solitude.

Still, your love was once to me tender and inviting

Like a sweet smell, like the dew that caresses the grass,

Gently coaxing its blades to grow

with tiny fragile fingers of crystalline.

For you have a beauty that reaches

far beyond the boundaries of reason,

Your eyes like the turbulent sea, cold yet warm with life below.

 

You notice me and smile, your eyes shining with a new radiance

that I’ve never seen before.

I glance up to meet your eyes and then seeing your husband standing

near you I look away.

He doesn’t say a word of greeting

or in any way acknowledges my presence

Save only a look of strength and strong will

that seems to permeate his face

Like some mythical god.

She introduces him to me - his name is David,

It figures, even his name is godlike.

With his hand out stretched he smiles and says a throaty “Hullo.”

And as we shake He passes me a look that says “I understand.”

 

You ask me how I’ve been doing and I guess I would be a liar

If I were to say I was fine.  So, I only smile

Shrugging my shoulders wordlessly, hiding my feelings

With a mask of self contentment that could easily reveal

The remorse that I feel right now.

 

The bus arrives,

And people push to get on so as to find themselves

warmth from the winters chill.

I put my face into the coin deposit

And find a seat towards the front,

And as you pass by me, a flood of doubt and self condemnation

Rips at my heart, egging me to look into your eyes

And reminisce of a time, when you loved the sound of my voice.

It seems I can almost feel her eyes probing my soul

thoroughly laying my guilt bare.

 

Yes, its just like midnight

And the loneliness passes over my heart like a dark cold shadow.

Closing me in with no means of escaping its clutches.

 

I want to turn and look back at you

But that would be too obvious wouldn’t it?

Instead I bite my lip and suppress my feelings

For I’ve already forfeited my right to play in the gaze

And the winner sits behind me

With love grinning beside her.

 

My bus stop.

I step out into the cold damp night

leaving all that she once gave me behind

The love, the memories and the pain

that lies too deep for tears

Until the bus pulls off and I walk home -- Alone.

 

It’s raining again.

 

 

C.G.

 

 

Hear Our Prayer

 

The night wraps its garment of darkness

Around this city like a gauze to a wound.

Healing, forgiving, soothing the souls

that society rejects:

The lonely, the downtrodden, the innocent and I.

Its compassion fills the sky with tears,

stars give light and strength from above.

Down below, the children smile sadly and

shuffle once more through the city=s unforgiving streets.

Streets that throb with hate, confusion, and misery.

 

It swallows them up gulping them down whole

With no remorse or pity, only disgusting gluttony

that causes her to belch the putrid stench of death.

With anger and rage I curse the state I=m in

I pray for blessings,

For you to come with change in hand.

We bend our will, our heads hung low,

Our voices in unison.

Our palms to Heaven,

Hear our prayer...and follow.

Shadows: Epilogue

 

And when he shifted into the quiet corners of memory…

No one saw him leave, no one felt him fade.

Only the silence remained....

Only the long lingering resonance of time remained.