Wotcher

Coming Soon...

Another edition of the Occasional Post will be comig soon (I hope)

Who am I? Why in the world am I spouting my ideas randomly on this website?

I'm bored, that's why. Also, I've been noticing and admiring all the cool thing people have on their sites (like polls and counters, that sort of thing) so I wanted to try it for my self.

Grrrr, I can't believe you need to do the whole premium deal in order to have a password-protected page. Grumph.

Still Breathing, Thank You

For all my fans out there, yes, I am still alive. And I've thought of something to put up here.

INTRODUCING......(DRUM ROLL)

THE OCCASONAL POST

It started out as the daily post, then when to weekly, monthly, and finally occasional. As you may have guessed, I don't do it very regularly. If you have any ideas for my next issue; poems, articles, dino questions, pretty much anything, feel free to send them in. I need all the help I can get.

Type your title here.

Boredom Strikes Ferrier Household

 

Well, it’s the middle of summer and time for the traditional lapse into boredom. Numerous complaints like “I’m bored out of my skull” and “I wish I was dead” have heralded the approach in perhaps the greatest rise of boredom in years. Parents and adults are being blamed as partially responsible, due to their tedious habit of taking long naps in the middle of the day, or leaving to work.. Children spend their time gazing into space, making loud, irritating chants, memorizing Weird Al lyrics and wasting time on pointless Internet sites, much to the annoyance of adults. The residence in littered with the signs of boredom: pointless squabbles, cleanliness, and computers red hot from frequent use. The weather has been no help, continuing to be hot and humid, conditions that favor boredom, experts say. As the household continues to suffer, all we can do is cross our fingers and hope for the best.

-Lucia Ferrier

 

 

 Why I Hate Most Dogs

 

People and their freaking dogs man. Let’s say you are walking down the street and suddenly you see a random dog. You look at it for a sec, and then move on. Suddenly the dog starts to trot toward you. You stop. The dog growls and starts to bark. You start to walk away, but the dog runs after you growling and snarling.... probably if you translated this the dog’s words would be

“So walking in your peaceful neighborhood eh?

See DOGS on page 2

A Second Look at Shylock

 

The fans of theater are eagerly awaiting the next Ferrier Theater Production, Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice. This play, at first glance, seems simply to be an anti-Semitic work, but a closer look shows that it isn’t so simple.

 

For those of you who are not familiar with the play, I will provide a brief summary.

 

The play is set in Venice. Bassanio borrows three thousand ducats from his friend Antonio, so that he may go and woo the wealthy Portia. Antonio is a rich merchant, but all his money is on the seas, so he borrows money from Shylock, the Jewish moneylender. In jest, they make the forfeiture, should he fail to pay the bond, a pound of flesh. Bassonio goes to Belmont and wins Portia. Meanwhile, a Christian, Lorenzo, has run of with Shylock’s daughter, Jessica. They elope, taking a large portion of Shylock’s jewels and money. This so angers Shylock against all Christians that he decides to take the pound of flesh from Antonia if he can. Antonio’s ventures fail, and Shylock is about to claim the flesh, when it is discovered that there is no blood given in the bond. Shylock cannot take the flesh without spilling blood, and is then charged with an attempted murder. He is forced to convert to Christianity, and loses one half his goods.

 

Shakespeare makes Shylock, the Jew, a sympathetic and complex character. His opponent, Antonio, is not simply a shining hero, but rather, a flawed man, and one feels resentment at him for his 

See SHYLOCK on page 2

 

Shylock, a Complex Character

 

SHYLOCK

From page 1

 

cruel treatment of Shylock.

Shylock is embittered from a life of mistreatment from people like Antonio, who sneer at his religion and his profession. His own daughter dislikes him, so one must conclude that he has serious faults. In trying to get a pound of Antonio’s flesh he acts harshly and cruelly, but one can understand his anger. Antonia has spit on him, scorned him, and laughed at him. Shylock’s eloquent words; “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?” are moving, as is his plight in the end of the play, when he is stripped of half his money and forced to convert to Christianity. Although he deserves some punishment for his cruelty, the audience feels great sympathy for him, and the sentence seems overly harsh. The end of the that scene leaves the watcher unsure as to what he thinks of Shylock, who at first seems to be a simple villain, and at a second glance proves to be a more pitiable character.

-Miss Margaret

 

 

The Dino Corner

 

Questions and Answers

Q. What was the largest predator ever?

A. The largest predator was Liopleurodon, not a dinosaur, but a giant marine reptile from the late Jurassic, 144 million years ago. Of course, that’s just in the water, the largest land predators were the dinosaurs Tyrannosaurus, Gigantisaurus, and Charcaradontosaurus.

 

Dino of the day: Tyrannosaurus Tyrannosaurus was a large therapod (Lizard hipped dinosaur) of the late cretaceous, 65 million years ago. He walked on two legs, was a carnivore, and lived mainly in what is today Western America.

 

Scientist still debate over Tyrannosaurus’s ability to run. Although some believe that he could run up to 45 miles an hour to catch speedy prey, others speculate that running would be too great a risk for the huge carnivore, because if it fell, its small arms would be unable to lift its huge bulk from the ground. They believe that it hid in ambush for prey, or scavenged, stealing others’ kills. To add to the confusion, only one footprint has ever been found, making it impossible to determine the length of the Tyrannosaurus’s stride.

- Dr. Orlando Ferrier

 

Write us your questions on Dinosaurs and ancient reptiles! Send them to rolandferrier@myway.com

Or mail them to

Roland Ferrier

1077 Grant Line

Santa Paula, CA  93060

 

Dogs, Man’s Best Friend?

 

DOGS

From page 1

 

Think you can do that in free country U.S.A.? Well I’m on the streets being a random useless dog so you can’t go anywhere! Bwahahaha!!” Suddenly the dog-loving owner comes out. She yells “Bruno! You bad, bad dog, leave the nice man alone.” The dog doesn’t want to go and is probably saying to the ‘master’,

“But this guy was, like, walking in his own peaceful neighborhood, minding his own business in free country U.S.A. Can’t

I bark and snarl until the end of time? I mean this IS my street right?” Meanwhile

See DOGS on page 3

DOGS

From page 2

 

the “master” is apologizing and telling lies such as, “He really is a nice dog just a bit nippy. Go on, pat Bruno on the head, he won’t bite he’s, uh, really nice..........”

Meanwhile your nervous sweaty hand slowly comes over the head of the snarling growling “friendly” Bruno. At this point the dog is just looking at you glaring in kind of evil way. You manage to pat the dog’s head, despite the fact that you can’t help nervously snatching back your hand very other second and whenever you do the dog puts out a loud annoyed snap or growl. Meanwhile the neighbor is basically cheerleading you on with chant like:

“Come on man! Pet that thing!

Bruno is nice old thing!”

When you would rather edit the song and make it:

 “Come on man! Kill that thing!

 Bruno is a useless thing!”

Finally get you away from her and the dog, which is drooling the whole time and occasionally lets go with a loud bark.

 

The point of this is that dog owners don’t know anything about dogs. Sure, the dogs love the owners, but the dogs seem to trust only them! The owners convince themselves that the dogs are nice, wonderful things, and if you just get to know them and learn to love them...

 

The dog owners are insane. They sit in dark, dark closets and slowly repeat to themselves, “Dogs are my friends, dogs are my friends, hehehe...”

 

And listen man, don’t let me even get started on how superior cats are to dogs. I’ll put that in a later article

 

Well, in conclusion, go on and keep your stupid old dogs, I’ll just walk the neighborhood street with a 20-gauge shotgun. (Hehehe...I’m insane! the dogs did it to me!)

-Mr. Bitter

 

Please send me your poems, stories, articles or ideas! Mail them to:

Lucy Ferrier

1077 Grant Line

Santa Paula, CA  93060

Or email me at Lucyjohn@myway.com

 

The views expressed in these articles are expressly those of the writers’, and do not necessarily reflect the views the owner, editor, or others involved with the production of the Paper.

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