Peace and Power
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Today's my Birthday!
| Posted at 08:44 PM on August 21, 2008 |
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I'm a Leo by the way. 
Tee he heeeeee.
What's your "sign?"
June Summer Gathering
| Posted at 10:56 PM on June 30, 2008 |
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It was probably 4 am in the mourning by now. My feet and legs are killing me. I'm tired and sweaty.
Why the hell did we have to go on top of the mountain at night? I should have stayed down on "flat ground"(
If you wanna call it that) when I heard we could ride up in the car but had to walk back down I should have stopped right then and there. This is not at all what I thought it would be.I had no idea there would be so many steep areas going down. I mean I know a mountain is a mountain but this was absurd! To make things worse, I felt angry and others were making fun of of me. "We all need to stay together." Yeah right. I see they're version of staying together.
I'm really disappointed. Every time I think about it, I get upset, sad, and angry.
When we finally reached the bottom we have to cross the water on these rocks. It was to far for me to jump. To make the story much shorter, I fell not once but twice! My feet were already sore. Now this. If I have to go to the doctor, thus council is going to pay for it. I don't appreciate them scaring my mother.
Now. The Grandmothers speak. (My Grandmothers)
"You silly little girl. You have no idea what we had to go through and you're complaining about going down a little mountain. This is just the beginning. You are being prepared for something bigger to come. Don't waste your tears on something so peti." TO BE CONTINUED.......
Cantare de tu amor por siempre......
| Posted at 10:28 PM on March 19, 2008 |
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my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
STRUGGLE FOR HEALING
| Posted at 11:50 PM on March 18, 2008 |
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I'm all alone on this road. I feel trapped. It's like I have no control over my life.......................
Don't know who I am any more. I hate my life. Hate what I've become.
I HATE WHAT I'VE ALLOWED MYSELF TO BECOME. 
Why am I doing this to myself? I'm addicted. I need help. There, I finally said it!
What does God say about eating disorders? Nothing. Right?
I've tried to get help in the pass. But it's like, they abandoned me. I need professional help.
I'm going to die. I'm killing myself slowly. And I don't know how to stop it.
No one understands. Do I even care any more?
Should I just "throw away the key?" Is it worth it to keep trying?
Is any one listening to me? LISTEN TO ME DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm angry, frustrated, physically in pain, etc. Does any body care?
Are you powerless over anything?
Can a power greater than myself restore me back to sanity?
Lavanto mis manos aun que tengo mil problemas
| Posted at 11:50 PM on March 10, 2008 |
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I'm taking all of my meds every day. I don't like being on meds. But I remembered to give thanks for the medicine. There are people who need meds but can't get them. I'm still blessed.
Today at dinner time was hard. The food, the struggle continues. But I'm hanging tough.
As a friend said "Gots to." (hang in there)
glitter-graphics.com
Don't worry. I'll be back to my normal rotten self in no time! LOL.
Yes. I'm a psycho. LOL.
Still Blessed
| Posted at 01:30 AM on February 27, 2008 |
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Me? Well I have been really sick. I had to go to the emergency room.
I had been having stomach and back problems for about a month or two.
It got worse. The pain was horrible. I mean outrageous. At ALL TIMES!
At one point I was like "Ok God, I'm at that point where you've put to much on me to bare!
My friend, Shawn, agreed. "We have enough to deal with now without you adding more problems to it." Exactly. I got so frustrated with God. It took me hours to get dressed. I was miserable. I wanted to die. And then I couldn't even put my own socks and shoes on.
I hated that. But then I said, Thank God I have someone to put them on for me! I have an amazing mom. I'm still blessed! I also have friends and family who pray and care about me.
Cooking was a hobby but I had made the choice not to do it so much because I was just being lazy. Imagine not being ABLE to cook. I then wished I could prepare healthy meals but I couldn't stand up long enough to do it!
I was like, "I'm way to young to be having these problems.( Age doesn't matter when it comes to being healthy) I couldn't say "God why did you do this to me?" I did it to myself.
What's wrong with me? Well, it's a long story and I don't want to get into that.
But I have one more chance. I'm going to do it right. I'm taking this and I'm going to run with it like crazy! Nunca rindas. Never give up. I'm still blessed. And You are still blessed too.
Finals !
| Posted at 04:34 PM on December 18, 2007 |
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Guess what? I just found out my GPA for this semester.
Not only did I pass my classes but I have a 4.0 !!!!!!!!! All A's.
Like my friend said, SAWEEET! Yes. Sweet in deed.
Season's Greetings!
Dreams of India
| Posted at 06:47 PM on November 11, 2007 |
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I went to Diwali today (festival of lights) with my friend Deepthi, her mom, and my mom. Her sister danced there. We had a lot of fun. I should have taken photos! I felt stressed, angry, and sad at church today. I don't know if I'll go back or if I will have the play/prodigal son party. I feel like no one cares.
But going to Diwali at the aerospace center made me feel better.
We also saw an Indian film called "Morning Naga." Some parts were good and other parts were very boring. Anyway, we'll see what happens from here with the play.
Blahhh!
| Posted at 11:30 PM on November 03, 2007 |
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In the mourning it's cold. Later it's hot and you need a little air. By night you have to have heat. Tomorrow I teach the prodigal son lesson at Cristo Vision church. And tomorrow evening we work on the play of the prodigal son. I don't feel up to any of that! To be honest, I don't want to go at all. I just don't feel like it.
I suppose I have to go about this like I do my singing.
As Beverly Sills once said: "Tired, hoarse, running a high fever, I can always sing Violetta."
fancygens.com
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