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Misc.

How You Know You're Obsessed with Lord of the Rings

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1) Your friends positively refuse to speak with you about boys, movies, blond hair, hairy feet, books, or anything related because we ALL know where THAT will lead to.

2) Your friends tell you they do not want to know anything more about LOTR before you even take a breath to start chattering your endless stream of words.

3) You consider yourself bilingual, after all, you DO speak Elvish. Fluently. 

4) When your friends point and scream 'there he is!' you turn around just in case.

5) You want a tattoo of the Fellowship of Nine, because the experience was too wonderful to forget.

6) You have added various other meals to your list, second breakfast, elevensies, afternoon tea....

7) You cannot count on your fingers the many times you've seen the movie.

8) When ordering any drink you automatically ask if it comes in pints.

9) You can tell how many times 'Frodo' is said in the movie. 

10) You know the proper Elvish name for Legolas is. (Laegolas)

11) You walk barefoot, insisting that 'Hobbits can do it, so can you.'

12) When you see the movie (again) you can quote it word for word. 

13) You have pointy ears surgically attached.

14) You stare at the birdbath, trying to see 'things that are, things that were, and things that have not yet come to pass.'

15) You cried during the movie. All ten times you've seen it.

16) You have or are trying to get all LOTR merchandise available, after all you NEED, the action figures, posters, games, cards....

17) You are learning how to shoot a bow and arrow.

18) You have hurt someone trying to learn how to shoot the bow and arrow.

19) You have hurt someone trying to learn how to shoot the bow and arrow with 2 arrows at once.

20) You run around in the woods screaming "Ho! Tom Bombadil." And you provide anyone you run into with mounds of food and protection from mean oak trees.

21) If you had a horse his name would be Asfaloth or Shadowfax.

22) If you had a pony his name would be Bill or Fatty Lumpkin.

23) You spent days making an Arwen costume for Halloween, but are insulted when people say they don't know who Arwen is.

24) You have scared away people with your Gollum imitation.

25) You envy "little people" because they most resemble Hobbits. You call them Hobbits - they don't like it. You don't care. (I'm usually the one being called the hobbit..hehe..makes me happy)

26) You doodle Gandalf, Legolas, Frodo, Bilbo, and Smaug during all your classes (who me?)

27) You insist that the old man with a beard who you used to think was Santa
Claus is now Gandalf.

28) You've given all your friends names that rhyme so you can sound like a dwarf when you read them off: Mike, Krike, Drike, Fike, and Sike the large.

29) Whenever you get angry at someone you don't cuss, you say "The One Ring" rhyme in Black Speech... it really freaks 'em out!

30) You expect your garage door to open when you walk up to it and say, "Mellon!"

31) You have drawn, or attempted to draw, any character from LOTR.

32) You wish you were an Elf, or a Dwarf, or a Hobbit, or a wizard, or a human 

33) You have nightmares about being chased by Black Riders.

34) Arguing with a waiter at a restaurant, picking up the butter knife in anger and saying, "Do you want me to smite you with Sting!? DO YOU!!!

35) You suddenly start eating mounds of mushrooms, even if you hate them.

36) If a major earthquake starts, everyone shouts 'EARTHQUAKE!' but you shout 'BALROG!!!'

37) You gather at Tolkien's grave every year to sing a lament in Elvish.

38) The only thing that kept you from seeing the movie 10+ times was the fact that it went out of the theaters so soon (precioussssss issssss losssssst!!!!!!)

39) You are racing on your bike through the streets and shout: "Noro lim, Asfaloth, noro lim." (Guilty)

40) You have actually written (or plan on writing) "Frodo Lives" on some form of public property if you ever get the chance.

41) You are insulted when the spell checker on your computer says the ‘Hobbit' and ‘Frodo' are written as misspelled words.

41) You think George W. Bush looks just like an elf. (the ears....)

42) You've carved Elvish names into each knife in your kitchen.

43) You search the web for hours, trying to find a site that teaches Sindarin and Quenya.

44) You notice if people have pointy ears, and tell them so, you are jealous of them.

45) Your friends laugh at you because you spend all your time on LOTR, Legolas and Elijah sites.

46) You kiss your poster of LOTR every day, and if you forget, you feel empty and depressed.

47) You try to stop a large group of people from fighting by yelling "I will take the ring!" 

48) Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses. 

49) When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

50) You're starting to notice the hair on your feet more, and you can't help but smiling at the thought of them getting even hairier.

51) You routinely shout elvish for absolutely no reason. (HAVO DAD, LASTO BETH NIN, ELEN SILA LU'MMEN OMENTIELVO.)

52) You routinely shout lines from the movie, which you've learnt off by heart. 

53) You never watch the news, after all, it's not the 'REAL' world...

54) Your walls are covered with pictures from LOTR. All of them.

55) You have to be physically restrained from running up to the movie screen to profess your love to the character of your choice.

56) You steal vegetables from your neighbor's garden.

57) When the radio guy announces that smog is moving in from the east, you exclaim "Smaug? Nonsense! There hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years!"

58) You keep a lookout for Orcs and Wargs while walking in the woods.

59) You have performed in some sort of play or skit from the movie (I got to be Arwen!)

60) You want to travel back in time, to Middle earth! 

61) When you see a tall, dark tower you scream, "Minas Morgul!!!!"

62) You are sure that Saruman is watching you, I mean, that Crebain over there is rather suspicious.

63) When you've finally read through the Silmarillion for about the 100th time, you understood all of it . . 

64) Your nickname at school is Legolas.

65) You buy a One Ring and wear it, pretending to be invisible.

66) You ask your history teacher " So, when do we start learning about Middle- Earth?"

67) Your doormat says, "Speak friend and enter"

68) Your friend tells you she has been given a signed copy of LOTR for her birthday and you, have trouble fighting the urge to attack her for it, even if it is only Christopher Tolkien's signature, not J.R.R himself.

70) When your parents want to inspect whether your room is messy or not, you shout "YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!!!"

71) When uninvited guests start barging in to the house, you wryly say: "They have a cave troll" You have been practicing your Boromir voice, even if he is just in the first movie.

72) You go watching the movie by saying" ok this is really the last time" and then at the end, in tears, say "I wanna see it again"

73) You don't eat melon, mellon is your friend.

74) On September 22nd you throw a huge party, inviting everyone you know, plus more, you sent a letter to those nifty fan addresses, asking everyone from LOTR to come, even ALL the extras. When, of course, none of them show up, and people ask the occasion of the party, you mutter something about the REAL guests are yet to arrive.

75) You have *tried* to change your birthday to September 22nd.(Don't need to, mine already is :D)

76) You are jealous of people who's birthday is on September 22nd. (hehe)

77) You HAVE printed the Script, and used it to memorize every line when you just can't get to the theater to see it for the fifteen-millionth time.

78) You find yourself muttering curses in Elvish and the Black Speech when someone annoys you, and trying to shoot fireballs at them with your pencil.

79) You cry over Gandalf's death even though you know he comes back.

80) You go crazy at the movie rental place looking for movies with any LOTR character, and freak out because Flipper is rented out!!!! 

81) You realize what a huge Tolkien geek you are!!! But you don't care!!!

82) You Try to communicate with others using Quenya or Sindarin.

83) You have really freaky nightmares about Mordor.

84) You hear the word 'ring' and look up, shouting IT MUST BE DESTROYED IN THE FIRES OF WHICH IT WAS FORGED.

85) You begin to whisper to moths and birds

86) You always say eleventy-one instead of one hundred eleven.

87) When asked to deliver an item, you reply: " I will take the thing, though I do not know the way."

88) You despair to think you forgot to bring a rope, even though you are just going to your friends house for about an hour.

89) You think the little gasping Hobbit is soooooo cute.

90) You actually know that the cute, gasping, Hobbit child is Peter Jackson's cute, gasping, Hobbit child. (It is true, that is his daughter!)

91) You refresh the Official Site over and over again so you can hear all the different greetings.

92) Not only that, you have recorded every single one of them.

93) You listen to them before you go to sleep each night, feeling empty and cold if you ever forget.

94) You have listened to the Enya ‘May it Be' song much that it is ACTUALLY getting annoying, but you still sing it all the time.

95) Your library has the LOTR version that has pictures from the movie, when they first got it you immediately signed it out, and, even though the school year is almost over, you STILL have not given it back. 

96) You are considering "losing" this book and paying for it, but secretly keeping it. Why bother go buy one yourself? Too much of a hassle.

97) You are SOOOOOOOO disappointed when Frodo did not sing in the movie, you NEED to hear him sing.

98) You shriek with laughter at the even remotely funny parts in LOTR. (Pippin is hilarious!!)

99) You often shout "Lego-man!" for no apparent reason.

100) Are surprised when someone acts insulted when you tell them they resemble someone from LOTR, it was OBVIOUSLY a compliment.

See Lothlorien of the Elves for the full 127 ways that you know that you're obsessed.

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