I'm saving that money to buy comdoms - J C - Johnny Cash

When your making bread, add a little bit of colour for a change - D - Dido

That fella likes sucking on iron - M - Metallica

A Jamaican fella spots a boat - D - DiBarge

Do you want a game of tug of war? Well it's up to you, you own it - E - Europe

Don't bother, you won't change my mind. - AA - Adam Ant

Take your time, shop around, check other place's prices and come back. - SC - Soft Cell

That good. I can go ten-pin bowling again. - O - Outkast

Don't steal my tools, take your sister's. - NC - Nick Kershaw

My poker hand sucks. I'm giving up. And again. And again. And again. And AGAIN! - BFF - Ben Folds Five

Monkey hired to prevent 'simian onslaught'

 
A langur monkey has been employed by an Indian government minister - to scare away other monkeys.

The Indian Minister for Human Resources, MAA Fatmi, has taken on the langur, as well as a professional monkey catcher.

He hopes their combined efforts will scare off the monkeys that invade his office, trashing light fittings and ripping up documents.

"They scare away the monkeys and cage the more naughty ones. So things are better now," a spokesperson told the Hindustan Times.

Minister Fatmi had to move into the bungalow after the petroleum minister refused to because of the daily simian onslaught.

Four langur monkeys and two professional monkey catchers are also employed in parliamentary and government buildings in New Dehli.

All offices have been given caged doors and the "langur force" patrols the buildings at night after a series of official documents were

Thanks To Carl Jenne For Bringing This To My Attention.