Unless you've been living under a rock, you already know all about the Punch family and friends. However, just in case you have been living under a rock, as some its have been known to do (cough, cough, Munk, cough), we have added this page so that you can get to know us and what we've been up to.
IT HISTORY
The its are a species of interesting creatures who look exactly like humans but are neither male nor female. They originally came from a Planet known as Purplegrape. About 110 years ago, their nemesis, Planet Juicebox, released a flood of apple juice onto their planet, threatening destruction. Just when the its were beginning to despair, ten-year-old Bob Punch took charge. It shouted "Hear ye, hear ye!" in a loud voice to get everyone's attention, and then told the its that they had to leave the planet. Bob handed out umbrellas to everyone, courtesy of his father, Bubba Punch, who owned an umbrella factory. The its safely used the umbrellas to float down to earth, where they have attempted to blend in ever since. As for Bob, soon after it landed, it met Munk Thermometer, another it, who was later to become its twenty-sixth wife after several failed marriages. Bob changed its hame from Bob Punch to Punch Bob, and, after marrying Munk, had three children and lived a long happy life.
PUNCH BOB
Punch Bob is our hero. At age ten, it led most of the its from their ruined planet, Purplegrape, to live on Earth. It is still alive today, as are many of the original its. It is married to its twenty-sixth wife, Munk, and has three chiddlers, Lily Punch Tob (married to Tilly Tob), Rainbow Punch, and Baber. Its parents are BooBoo and Bubba. "Uh, I don't know," was Bob's response when asked to give a description of itself.
BANDAID PUNCH
BandAid is the grandmother of Punch Bob, mother of BooBoo. It is approximately 3000 years old. The following is its description of itself: "ok, i was born on Purplegrape, in the town of Chuppyduck Oopa. (in the words of the King of Siam; "you put in the details") Then i came to Earth with all the other its, and yeah, i love Vanilla ice cream, which, btw, i am eating right now. With Almonds, coconut and caramel and whipped cream. yumm yumm yummy."
TILLY TOB
Tilly Tob is the itling of Fred Flintstone and Eve Apple. The origin of the surname "Tob" is unknown. Oh well. It is married to Lily Punch Tob and had about five children. The exact number is unknown. None are currently living. The following is an exerpt from Tilly's autobiography, The Story of Tilly Tob: "I was born. I lived. I am living. I will die." Tilly, when asked to give a short description of itself, said, "Okay. Well, I was also born on Planet Purplegrape, to my loverly parents, who died in the Purplegrape... thingy... the explosion. Yeah. I'm sorry, this is very difficult for me. My childhood is coming back to me... Ah! Yes! After my parents died, BooBoo and BandAid Punch took me in and I was raised alongside my wonderful cousin Punch Bob. Um, I was beside him in the escape from Purplegrape, and to this day, I still live here on earth. Um, oh yes! I married Bob's wonderful daughter, Lily Punch, now Lily Punch Tob, and we are living a happy life together. Amen."
LILY PUNCH TOB
Lily Punch was born on Earth to Punch Bob and Munk Punch. It is married to Tilly Tob. It is the editor of The Daily It. That's about it.
Although the its have a history of keeping themselves hidden from humans, a few humans over the years have become friends with the its. A short description of each of them (in their own words) follows below.
LAUREN
"In it years, I may be almost as old as Tilly Tob, but I was born on Earth, not Purplegrape. I am female (I think). I enjoy things such as Orlando Bloom, drama, music, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and other movies with Orli in them (I don't have enough space to write them all!). I also love to speak Spanish, read, and write. I hope to get a full scholarship to Dartmouth College one day and graduate with a Ph.D. in Fine Arts. Well, as you are reading this, I am probably on a cruise ship to the Caribbean to find my soul mate (*cough* Orli) where he is working on one of his movies (Well, actually, not really, but it sounds good, and I may do that in the future). Um, Adios."
LAURIE
"A 13-year-old girl who loves going on the computer and watching TV. Enjoys spending money and hates school, especially homework. Sometimes Bob takes over my body with no warning. I have multiple personality disorder and am a big fan of the book 'Baby Steps' by Dr. Leo Marvin. My multiple personalities don't get along very well with each other and make fun of me a lot."
SARA
I am a 14-year-old girl turning 15 in September. I like to read and paint. My favorite color is blue and my favorite animals are cats and pandas. I am a little bit over 5 feet tall and have brown hair and blue eyes and glasses. My favorite it is BandAid. I like to listen to movie soundtracks. My favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings trilogy and Pirates of the Caribbean.
AMY
I'm seventeen and female. I love languages, and I currently study French, Welsh, and Sindarin. I have studied seven or eight others in the past. I can read the Cyrillic alphabet slowly, and I can write and read Tengwar faster than Roman letters. I am going to Cornell University next year, where I will major in linguistics. I love to read, and a few of my favorite authors are J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling, Philip Pullman, Monica Furlong, William Shakespeare, and Sherryl Jordan. Some books by other authors that I enjoyed are the Circle of Magic quartet, and Sabriel. I also like music, especially playing the piano, and drawing Celtic knot designs. I love randomness.
FRIDAY
"Meow. I am a 5-year-old female cat who lives with Amy, Sara, Laurie, and Lauren. My birthday is July 14. My favorite activities include shedding my fur all over, eating, refusing to come inside at night, and chewing or clawing things that don't belong to me. My best trick is that when I want to leave a room, I grab the doorknob and try to turn it. I have actually managed to get into closed rooms if I do that long enough. Oh, another good trick I used to do was when I wanted to come in the house, and no one let me in right away, I would jump up on the door and grab the screen window and hang on. It always worked. Meow."
KITTYGATO
"Mrrow. I am a cranky female cat whose age is 'old', since I don't know what it is. I am gray. My favorite things to do are eat and sleep. I like to attack Friday, who lives with me, because she's the new cat. She's only been here for five years. I don't really see the point of this. I'm going to sleep. ZZZZzzzzzz...."MORE TO COME.