Kerb Surfing
Latest Attempt: J Trewick, 17th March 08 10.15pm- Anasthetic used: Alnwick Rum- Facial Damage: Severe but off centre.
We have a long history of Kerb Surfing with many many attempts. This is where members will launch them selves at speed, face first at a kerb or pavement using their momentum to travel a distance after impact.
Firstly we have noticed that most attempts have been after consuming a minimum of 20 units of alcohol and after last orders. At first we thought this was pure coincidence but it clearly supports the theory that Terrace Club members are more intelligent, as they have the foresight to use alcohol as an anaesthetic, and to have the presence of mind to make sure that folk around to witness and verify the attempt.
Although Sean Watson atempt above was pretty good he failed to travel a distance as he was impeded by the step above. Points were however gained for holding arms by side and achieving a full centre face impact.
Alan Goldie (above) was deducted points for failing to achieve a full face impact
The Rules:
1. There must be no attempt to break fall using hands or arms, As with previous attempts arms must be held firmly by the side or behind back as above. Any damage to hands or arms will result in disqualification.
2. Upon impact, points will be deducted if off centre. I.E any injuries to the side of the face will demonstrate a last second bout of cowardice. The best previous attempts have only used their nose and forehead to break their fall as per Sean Watson above.
3. The distance travelled after impact must be a minimum of 10cm. Points will be deducted if less. Please do not remove skin from pavement as this will be required to verify the distance travelled.
4. Pebbledash Rash will result in immediate disqualification. This is where a member will attempt to impale their face on the sharp pebble dashing on the houses up Wallace Terrace. We have had numerous complaints from residents as they are gradually losing their pebble dashing due to repeated attempts.
5. No mechanical advantage allowed. I.E. Mick Macs attempt whilst riding his bike with a loose front wheel was disqualified. Although he achieved a perfect centre face impact and managed to slide an impressive 126cm on his nose, the attempt can not be accepted as he gained a mechanical advantage.
6. Another recent attempt where a member launched himself head first and backwards at the club steps was disqualified as this is deemed dangerous to any one behind.
7. Our Judges decision is final. Mick and Jackie have years of experience and are veterans in Kerb Surfing, they have performed many perfect 10 scores over the years.
Lessons: Anyone requiring tuition please see Mick Mac. Mick will usually offer a demonstration every Sunday Evening around 9pm
